


Flightless Bird

by SomethinglikeGoodnight



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Anxiety, Car Accidents, Domestic Violence, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Hospitalization, Inspired by Music, Love at First Sight, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Musicians, Nurses, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-10-07 00:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 102,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10348254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethinglikeGoodnight/pseuds/SomethinglikeGoodnight
Summary: Hey guys love youNever think nothing is better then something1-800-273-8255Please call if you're ever on the edge, I care about you all and want you to be safe.





	1. Monday

 

> It was just another day when Tyler walked into work at 8:30pm, ready for the restless night ahead.

It was just another day when he clocked in, the card being stamped in sticky ink  _8:32_

It was just another day when an ambulance sped into the loading dock, medics shouting for the nurses. 

It was just another day when a bloody and bruised figure was wheeled in, the gurney flying by Tyler, making his scrubs whip around his body. 

 _"This is bad.  Why isn't she in the ICU?"_ He heard someone yell. 

_"We've identified two broken ribs. One bruised. Other possible head injuries. Broken leg and arm."_

_"She was alone."_

_"No car?"_

_"No. Nothing."_

_"Was it a...suicide?"_

_"can't tell."_

Tyler didn't want to overhear anymore. He quickly disappeared into the back room and gripped a cup of coffee, watching through the doorway as the body was wheeled away. It really wasn't the smartest idea for him to decide to go into the medical field. He hated seeing people in pain, he hated gore, and worst of all,

he hated night shifts.

"Joseph!"  at the sound of his name he whipped around, so fast he probably got whiplash. 

"Yes!?" He yelled back, not even knowing who it was yet. 

"One of your trauma patients is awake, he needs the usual shit. You know what to do." Brendon grumbles, walking to the coffee machine. 

"Oh. ok, right on it!" Tyler smiled. he loved seeing his trauma patients. As sad as there situations were, he always really enjoyed making them feel better, taking care of others usually distracted him from himself. Coming in and out of places like this when he was younger inspired him to go into the field, wanting to help others the way he'd been helped.

He ran up the stairs two at a time, tripping over his scrubs and walked up to the room, knocking twice before opening the door slowly and seeing a fifteen year old boy sitting awake happily. his eyes were glued to a yellow game boy color, given to him by Tyler. 

"Hey Gabe!" Tyler smiled, walking over and sitting next to the teen. he got a feeble smile, the boy's eyes still glued to the screen as he played Pokemon red. 

"Hey Tyler, what's up?" the freckled boy asked after beating the gym, putting down his gameboy and itching his IV's. 

"Nothin much...don't touch those I've told you before." he said, pulling out a stethoscope and smiling slightly as the boy pulled up his shirt for him. 

"Sorry, they prick my skin. It's uncomfortable." He whines 

"Yeah..I get that." 

Tyler pressed the metal to the boys chest and he yelped slightly at the sudden cold.

"sorry sorry!" Tyler said quickly, removing the metal and laughing. 

"Geez...you should know not to do that." the boy sighed heavily and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"sorry princess." Tyler joked, giggling as the boy stuck his tongue out at him. 

"Has anyone sent me mail?" he asked, twiddling his fingers.

"I'm not sure...." Tyler said, a grin forming on his face "there's a package for your name, but I doubt you know anyone named D.C" the boys eyes lit up and he sat up in bed, poking at Tyler's ribs.

"D.C Comics you dip sh-!" He scolded Tyler, stopping himself before he cursed and made grabbing motions as Tyler pulled a stack of comic books out of a brown box, handing them to the boy and his bright blue eyes sparkled. 

"Yes!" 

"I might send them back if you curse at me again." Tyler warned jokingly, ruffling the boy's light brown hair. 

"These are sick!" he gasped excitedly, flipping through the pages. 

"I bet they are." Tyler said softly.

"Did my mom pay for them?" he asks, looking at Tyler expectantly.

"Uh-" 

"You did, didn't you?" he rolls his eyes as Tyler rubs the back of his neck and blushes. 

"maybe." 

"You're too good to me." 

"You deserve it." 

"I really don't." 

"Yes, you do."

"Get out of here Tyler!" Gabe yelled, smile gracing his face as he chucked a pillow at Tyler and he backed up and walked over to the door.

"You need anything else before I leave?" 

"No, I'm good, come back before lights out though, I wanna hear about your day." Gabe said without looking up from the first book. 

"Kay, i'll be back right after lights out I think." 

"Mmmhmm." 

As Tyler walked back down the stairs, he smiled to himself. Gabe had come to the hospital months ago, in terrible condition after a family invasion. He was injured badly after jumping out his bedroom window to get away. A bruised rib, cracked skull, and a broken ankle. 

Now he was a happy, smiling, freckled faced joker who made any room brighter with his presence. His family lived near the hospital but rarely visited him because of their 'busy schedules' but Tyler made sure he wasn't too lonely. Gabe wasn't used to being alone because he's one of three triplets. His other two brothers came to visit him often but Tyler could tell they'd rather not be huddled up in a stuffy hospital room. Tyler had been assigned Gabe the day after he arrived, and has been his favorite nurse since. However, he was supposed to leave in a few weeks and Tyler really couldn't bear with the thought of him being sent back home. Gabe was really one of the only reasons Tyler came to work, let alone woke up in the morning. It gave him a purpose. He woke up and came to work because Gabe needs him. Without him, well, 

Tyler did'nt know what he was going to do. 

He often thought about how his patients did more for him then he did in return.

"Hey Tyler!" He spun around to meet the voice behind him, coming face to face with a fellow nurse. 

"Oh hey, night shift huh?"

"Yeah...really sucks."

"ain't that the truth." 

"Mmmhmm. Did you hear about the 8:30 dropoff?" 

"the what?" Tyler asked, eyebrows raised.

"The girl rushed in earlier. She''s being operated on now in the ICU." The nurse who Tyler forgot the name of carried on.

"car accident. Yeah I heard." Tyler shuffles nervously, looking over the girls shoulder to peek down the hall. 

"Strange that she wasn't even in a car though, just walking on the highway." 

Tyler froze. No one just walks along the highway at night for no reason. He'd walked along the highway before but was stopped by someone biking and was taken home. he blinks, removing the memory from his train of thought and focuses on the blonde nurse talking. 

"She's doing really well as I've heard. It wasn't as bad as they thought but she is expected to be here for a while." 

Tyler nods slowly, gears turning in his head. That poor girl. Suddenly he speaks up. 

"Does she need me?" it sounded better in his head.  

the nurse shrugs. "check your lineup. I don't have her but you might. By the way she hasn't been named yet so her number is 7873." 

"Oh ok." Tyler forces a smile and walks back to the office, resuming with his coffee sipping and watching the news. 

Thee clock at the back of the room ticked loudly, making Tyler nervous. He wrung his warmed hands on his coffee mug and tried to focus on the fake plant in the dim corner. This place reeked of 409 and antiseptic. A combination he'd never really grown accustomed to in his two years here. He'd been working at the hospital since he was twenty, starting as just a licensed nurse and working his way up to being an intensive care unit registered nurse. He wanted to work with serious injuries, and liked children so that's where he was promoted too. 

Nursing wasn't his first choice. His first choice honestly was to not be alive anymore but he had a change of heart. 

A change of heart that included a biker finding him on the side of the road. 

But he doesn't like to talk about that. 

He really doesn't like to talk at all. 

But nursing was a simple option. He didn't have to go to school that long, and they were desperate for any type of nurses in Columbus, so getting a job was easier then he thought.

"Tyler?" 

"Yeah Brendon?" He replied, recognizing the voice and turning in his swivel chair. 

"I have your updated schedule." 

"Oh, ok." Tyler reached out and grabbed the envelope. he ripped the sealed flap and pulled out the paper inside. 

"I'm still working the night shifts?" He groaned, scanning the times he'd be working this month.

"Your patients are usually fine during the day Tyler, but they get scared or some shit at night. You know that." Tyler sighed. he was right, they needed him more at night then during the day. 

"ok." he mumbled, reading the short list of names. he hadn't realized Brendon left until he asked why there were numbers instead of a name. 

"7873?" He mumurs to himself, reading the information next to the sequence. 

"Oh shit." His eyes widen when he reads the time slot for the patient " _arrived 8:40pm, March 2012"_

This was the girl he saw this morning. 

This was going to be a challenge. Tyler usually only worked with people after they've recovered for the most part, just checking in on them to give them medicine. He's never really worked with a case this big before. 

It scared the shit out of him. 

What if he did something wrong?

He didn't want to hurt her. 

But he couldn't just give it up and ask Brendon to change his schedule, he'd done that already two months ago, he'd be pissed. It wasn't his fault he couldn't stomach the idea of taking care of someone that was raped and beaten.

Brendon had scolded Tyler about needing to "man up" and that "he signed up for nursing." 

Tyler didn't want to scare her, she was better off with a female nurse anyway. 

"BEEP BEEP!" Tyler jumped, embarrassingly enough, at the sound of his pager. He quickly got up out of his seat and left the office, his goal now was finding Sarah and getting his instructions. 

"Sarah?" he called, walking into her office and not seeing her. "what help you are." He grumbled and left the room, running into her just around the corner. 

"Oh, Tyler! I was just looking for you!" she smiled, too happy for someone that's working an overnight shift. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun atop her head, eyes lined with light brown gel in an effort to make her look more awake.

"Yeah...what do you need?" He forced out a sentence, not really wanting to chat. 

"That girl...the one that just finished her operation, she needs the usual for someone that's just come in." 

"Usual?" Tyler cocked his head. 

Sarah sighs, rolling here eyes. "You know, bath, food, getting into bed. She's just had an operation Tyler, she can't really do anything right now." 

"Oh, ok." Tyler said quietly, realizing how stupid he'd been. Of course she can't do anything herself. "Is she...ok?" What a dumb question, Jesus.

"She's recovering. Needs a bath before she gets wrapped but she's been loaded with drugs. I doubt she'll even feel your touch." 

Tyler visibly winced at that. He felt bad that she wouldn't even feel the touch of someone who cares. But broken bones were painful, and they hadn't even been wrapped yet. 

"Ok, I'll go right now."

"Good, she's in the rooms just outside the ICU, room 108 I think." 

"Ok, thanks Sarah I'll see you later." 

"Kay...and Tyler?"

He looked over his shoulder, "yeah?"

"Shes...fragile. Be careful I think that there's something wrong other then just her physical state." Sarah spoke slowly and uncertainly. 

"I will Sarah. See you later." 

"Bye Tyler." 

This was really going to be harder then he thought. 

Maybe he could ask Gabe what to do. Without thinking Tyler turned around from where he was walking towards the ICU and sprinted back up the stairs.

Five minutes later he was outside Gabe's room on the other side of the hospital.

"Gabe? You awake?" Tyler whispered into the darkness. Ten was usually the younger kids bedtimes. 

"Yeah?" He said, you could practically hear the smile in his voice. Of course he was still awake. He was most likely waiting for Tyler this whole time.

"I need..some help." Tyler admitted. He can't believe he's asking a fifteen year old for help with his job. He figured maybe a patients perspective would help. 

"With what?" 

"So, if you were me and you had to take care of someone with a past similar to yours, what would you do?" He spoke into the pitch black, finding his bed and sitting down.

"elaborate." His voice said through the black.

"If you were once...suicidal. And the person you need to take care of is...suicidal." Tyler choked out. he would never say this to anyone except Gabe. It's sad, he knows, but there's some sort of connection between the two. 

He hears Gabe inhale loudly. "I'd be gentle. Not try and talk about it too much just yet. Wait a little. And you should be courteous of their feeling, not just what the hospital wants to know." 

Tyler nodded. He hadn't thought about that. The nurses had been trained to just jump right in and make the patients replay everything that's happened to them. He hadn't even thought about how traumatizing that must be. 

"Ok, thanks freckle face." 

"shut up." The boy laughed, pushing Tyler off the bed. "Go to them. I gotta get my beauty sleep." 

"Yeah you do." Tyler snickered, leaving the room. Gabe hadn't gotten the insult until he closed the door. 

"Hey!" He heard him yell before he walked away, laughing to himself softly. 

"so that's that..." He mumbled as he stumbled down the hall, tripping on his too long scrubs that he had tried to bunch around his ankles, but always fell down. Making his way towards the ICU, he saw old patients he had taken care of and waved through the windows of their doors. Tyler was well known by the patients, but never talked to the other nurses and doctors, only did what he was told and talked when he had to. 

Tyler never believed in talking just to breathe. 

"105...."  

_it's just another day_

"106..."

_it's just another day_

"107..."

_it's just another day_

"108." he inhales sharply, looking in the folder attached to the door. 

"oh god..." He sighs, reading the information.

_"hit and run at approximately 8:00 pm, March 2012. Age and name unknown. Assumed age: 19._

_Eyes: HA_

_Hair: BR_

_Height: 5'9_

_Weight: 100lbs_

_Blood Type: B negative_

_Organ donor: unknown_

_found with backpack containing clothes, phone, pocket knife, and book."_

Tyler skimmed the other useless information, reaching the bottom of the page where the assumptions paragraph was. 

_"Hitch hiking on interstate 71, hit by an acura, license plate unknown. Speed presumably 30mph. No other bodies found with or near. Left leg broken. Right arm broken. True rib no. 7 bruised. Other possible head injuries, concussion expectation. Check normally for nausea and dilated pupils."_

he stopped reading and put the folder back, knocking on the door lightly before unlocking it and stepping in.

 

Dim. The room is dim, but not so dark that he can't see anything. The bed is larger then normal, expected for someone so hurt.The window across from the bed is open, moonlight spilling into the room as if someone poured a glass of silver light over the scene. Tyler gingerly wanders over to the bed, looking at the monitor before glancing at the sleeping girl. Her pulse is fairly normal, a little too fast, but it's most likely because of the situation. She's scared. There'd be something seriously wrong if she wasn't. 

"Look at you..." Tyler whispers softly, reading what happened once again in the folder on her bedside table. "Why would you do this?" 

Her face is pale, moonlight making her hair look wispy and white. Tyler fiddles with the monitor, giving her calming fluids and changing her water bag. he goes to touch her arm, the broken one, but when he does her eyes fly open and she flinches away, making Tyler jump back in surprise.  

He doesn't speak, just backs up as she curls into a ball away from him, as far as she can. 

"d-don't be scared. I'm here to help you." Tyler says quietly and her eyes are wide and dilated. So much so that there's almost no identifiable color. 

She purses her lips, reaching above her with her non broken arm and turns on the lamp. Flinching in pain ans he does so. 

"I-I can do that for you. Stay put." Tyler turns on the other lamp and straightens up around her. Hazel eyes follow him the whole way, darkened in a search for something Tyler doesn't know. In the light, Tyler realized her hair was brown, she had dark, nicely shaped eyebrows, and was very dirty. Most likely from hitting the ground upon impact, but that was just Tyler's best guess. 

"So...how are you feeling? You're awake which is good, we didn't expect that for another day." he tries his best to start a conversation, trying to think about what Gabe said. She makes the 'ok' symbol with her index finger and thumb and Tyler laughs softly. 

"can you talk?" He asks and she nods. "will you talk for me?" she looks him up and down before shaking her head. She was about two of three inches shorter then Tyler, with a thin face and long legs. They analyzed each other at the same time. 

"are you hungry? because you need to bathe and I wanted to know if you'd rather eat first." her eyes widen and go darker, curling in on herself again. She shakes her head again.

"so, a bath?" Tyler asks, gesturing to the tub in the room over. He searches her face and only finds that a tinge of red has found its way across her cheeks.

"It'll be fine, I've handled this plenty of times before." Tyler's voice is reassuring, but shaky. Finally she nods, and Tyler walks over to remove her sheets, glancing at the hospital gown before helping her up, her arm around his shoulder as she puts pressure on the right leg. They make their way to the bath, Tyler sitting her on a chair nearby as he runs the water, dipping his elbow in it to make sure it''s warm enough. 

"we can't cast your broken bones until you're clean, otherwise they'd get infected." Tyler explains as she cradles her arm. She was totally filled to the brim with anesthesia, otherwise she'd be crying out in pain every move. 

She nods, and watches him as he walks back over and tugs at her gown. 

"can I?"

she nods again, blush more apparent with the lights on. She was fair skinned, freckles dotting her cheeks, nose, and shoulders. 

Tyler removed her hospital gown carefully and lowered her into the high walled tub. Sitting back, he could only see above her shoulders and he could tell she was much more comfortable knowing that. Tyler didn't stare because he simply didn't care. This wasn't a time to be gawking at a naked girl. She was hurt, she was damaged, and most importantly she was scared. This is Tyler's job, even if it wasn't he'd never take advantage of someone like that. Even so, the girl sat with her knees pulled to her chest, looking around the bright clean bathroom with frightened eyes. 

"It's ok. I can't see you. You're safe here." Tyler couldn't tell if she heard him or not. She rocked herself back and forth in the water, arms wrapped around her knees and face perched above them. Tyler sighed softly and leaned forward. At his sudden movements she tensed, head whipping around to look up at him. He stared at her darkened eyes, faintly seeing a blur of light brown and green, sprinkled with flecks of blue that made her appearance all the more interesting.

Her hair was wavy and dark brown, reaching her shoulders in length. Tyler doubted it was actually that dark, probably just dirty and unkept. Her build was concerning, she was tall and medium sized, her ribs showing through faintly but she was pudgy around her stomach, giving the intention that she was well fed, then not fed at all. She saw him eyeing her, and shyed away again, pulling back. 

"I have to wash you." Tyler explained carefully, getting a tube of body wash and putting some on a rag. He never used his hands in case they were afraid of touch. 

She nodded, accepting it and relaxing her shoulders as Tyler washed her back gently, running the soapy rag over her protruding spine. 

"what happened to you?" He breathed quietly, not really saying it to her, more to the air. 

She closed her eyes, darkness smudged under her eyelids. Tyler guessed she was about nineteen at the most, maybe eighteen. 

after her body was washed, the water was dirty and far from clear. He reached for a bottle of shampoo and squeezed it into her hair, massaging her scalp as best he could with the wavy tangles of brown. 

She opened her eyes as the feeling, looking up at him while he did it, making him extremely uncomfortable yet perfectly fine. When he was done, he stepped back and rinsed his hands as she slid down under the water, closing her eyes and putting her hair under. Tyler watched as white foam graced the water's surface, little bubbles popping up around her face. She reached up with one hand and rinsed the suds out, making her curls float gracefully beneath the water. It was as if someone had taken mahogany silk and dragged it through the water, creating ripples and fluid swirls. Her eyes closed once again, body finally relaxed under the veil of soap. She lifted herself back up, with a little help from Tyler and went knees to chest once again, a curtain of light brown with natural golden highlights dripping down her back. 

"Was that ok?" Tyler asked and she nodded. He grabbed the rag once again and wiped under her eyes, bringing back a black stained cloth. Eyeliner. 

"you look alot better without this on." he said softly, watching as she blushed even more and opened her mouth to say something but decided not to last minute. 

"You can talk to me. I won't hurt you. Ever." Tyler spoke with sincerity, "I'm your fren, tyler." She smiled slightly, petal pink lips pulling at the corners and Tyler smiled back. Once he got a better look at her face he noticed alot more up close, especially since she was clean and the lighting was good.

Upon seeing her washed, Tyler now knew that she wasn't as dirty as he had thought. What he presumed was dirt turned out to be dark angry bruises, one under her eyebrow, another on her chin, and many on her neck.

Tyler grew furiuos looking at the bruises littering the soft skin on her neck, knowing where they came from and how ashamed she appeared when she noticed him staring.

The contrast between her fair skin and the freckles that decorated it was apparent, dark splotches of brown dotting her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, and forehead. her nose was normally shaped, some might even say small. Her lips were bigger then average, shaped in a way that many girls nowadays pay for. Tyler had never seen eyes like hers before, and they changed every time he looked at them. The only color scheme that seemed to stay the same was a light military green lined with a halo of chestnut. If Tyler wasn't her nurse he'd say she's beautiful, but that wasn't professional. 

He stepped back, sitting on a stool on the other side of the room, and watched her as she watched him, eyes like a hawk, studying him. 

She wrapped a hand over the side of the whitewashed tub, revealing light pink nails, like the inside of a conch shell. They had been filed and painted a darker pink, and Tyler wondered how long ago. The paint was chipping at the sides and dirt crusted under the nail. He took her hands and pulled them under the water, washing the brown sludge out from under them. She smiled again, showing eggshell colored teeth at the touch and opened her mouth again, only to shut it once more. 

He helped her out of the tub, the girl immediately grabbing a towel and turning away from him, wrapping herself in it and scowling. Tyler chuckled quietly at her mood change and helped dry her hair with a separate towel. "what's with all that?" He asked with a smile and she continued to scowl, lips pursed. Her dark eyebrows furrowed, pulling together at the sound of his voice.

He led her out of the room, her drying hair becoming more curly by the second. She wandered into the room on shaky feet, sitting on the bed with a frown.

"what?" tyler asked again and she gestured to her body and then the lonesome hospital gown that lay draped across the bed beside her.

"That's what you have to wear."

She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.

"We don't have anything else."

She sighed heavily and made a movement that resembled pulling a bag over her shoulders. Tyler's eyes widened and he nodded. 

"Your bag! Oh, I think that's over here..." he searched the room, finding it stuffed under the bed.

When it was placed next to her she dug through it before pulling out a shirt that was probably five sizes to big, and a pair of heather grey boxers. Tyler met her glare and turned around with his arms raised in defeat as she pulled on the clothes slowly and carefully, sitting back on the pillows with a pained sigh.

"Can I turn around?" Tyler asked and received a light hum in response.

Progress was progress.

"Whose shirt is that?" He asked, looking at her sea foam green shirt, the Billabong logo on the side with waves below it. It was draped across her frame, one freckled shoulder bare. Her family must surf, or go to the shore often. That would explain the freckles and fair skin. Maybe even the blonde highlights in her beach wavy hair.

she thought for a moment, opening her mouth and closing it before smirking and bring her thumb to her forehead, then her shoulder. 

_father._

Why was she using sign language? she said she could talk. Well, she didn't say it but she  _implied_ that she could talk.

"Oh, your dad's?" he asked and she nodded, eyes still dark, hiding the beautiful hazel orbs behind black. 

"are you ever going to talk?" Tyler asked and turned around to get something.

"depends." 

Wait, what? Tyler spun around to see her laying back, smile prominent on her face. 

"did you say that?" he asked and she nods again. 

Tyler doesn't know why she doesn't want to talk. He ponders this thought for a moment before sitting down next to her. 

"How's your head?" 

No response. 

"Ok. How bout on a scale of one to ten, how much does your head hurt?" he tries a tactic that usually works with the younger kids. 

She sighs and holds up seven fingers. Tyler pages the anesthesiologist, a beep resounding throughout the room.

"What about your chest?"

Five fingers.

"Your arm and leg?"

Six fingers.

"Ok. Well I have someone coming up to give you more relief. After that you'll get bandaged up and I'll be back in the morning." Tyler wraps up this little meeting with a gentle pat to her thigh and gets off the bed, taking a step towards the door. He doesn't even get two steps away before there's an arm wrapped tightly around his wrist, nails digging into the skin. He yelps quietly and the grip loosens.

"wha-" he turns around to see the girl with tears in her eyes. 

"Can you come back later?"  she asks, voice barely a whisper, but Tyler decides she'd be a good singer right then and there.

"Yeah. I will." 

Her fingers slip from his wrist and drag down his hand until her pinkie is wrapped around his. He smiles and she sends one right back.

"I promise." 

 

Walking back to the office was arguably the hardest thing Tyler's ever had to do working here. He just wanted to go back to that girls room and comfort her, tell her she'll be fine, that this is all going to work out. 

That she's loved. 

He couldn't yet identify exactly what emotions he was feeling right now, somewhere between anxiety and pride.  He didn't know why he was so proud, or why a sudden wave of protectiveness washed over him as he saw the anesthesiologist walking towards the ICU. 

He didn't know why he felt the need to go back.

He didn't know why he cared this much.

He didn't understand. 

This was supposed to be  _just another day._

 _just another day_ when he'd walk into work, do his job, and leave in the morning. 

But now it's 12:30 am and doesn't know why he's crying over some girl he doesn't even know the name of. 

Wait, why was he crying? 

He is not crying right now.

Tyler Joseph does not cry at work, 

mover some stranger none the less.

It was 12:31 am, which meant Gabe was fast asleep and she probably was as well. 

But he promised her. 

He couldn't just promise then leave her there. 

What if she's sitting alone in the dark, scared and crying? 

What if she's tried to leave and fallen?

What if the pain medications wore off?

What if she was hurt again?

He didn't know why,

But he had to get back, 

that was his job right? To check on the patients, make sure they're ok.

Aright,

he's gonna go check on her,

and only because it's his job. 

 

In an Olympic worthy sprint up to the ICU, Tyler burst into room 108 and was met with the most beautiful sight he's ever seen.

She was asleep.

Peacefully

and utterly

asleep.

Her eyelashes cast a shadow on her hollowed cheeks, her chest rising and falling in unequal stuttering breathes. Sheets tucked around her as she held onto the pillow with her free arm. Both her arm and leg were now bandaged, wrapped in a dark grey cast. Her hair was pulled into a knotty braid, brown wisps coming loose from all ends and making it look like she'd taken hours on it. The book previously mentioned lay on her side table, dog eared on page two. Tyler assumed it was because her head hurt too much to read. He recognized the title, a book his mother read to Madison and him when they were younger, _A Tree Grows in Brooklyn._ Tyler looked at the IV's attached to her left wrist and examined the skin closely. There were a few faded white scars standing immodestly along the fair skin, making Tyler frown. Pale white parallel lines lining her wrist and up to the inside of her elbow. Tyler's frown deepens, tracing the uneven lines with gentle fingers. There was a vile in her hand the closer Tyler looked, and when he pulled her fingers apart he read the label. 

_lavender._

Tyler cocked his head in confusion and unscrewed the bottle. Immediately his nostrils were filled with the pungent smell of the flower, making him calm and worried at the same time. 

He once had a friend in high school that rubbed lavender on his wrist to avoid panic attacks. 

He was impressed at how prepared this girl was. 

He didn't even carry lavender. 

And if Tyler was good at one thing,

it was having inconvenient panic attacks. 

He scanned her frame once more, taking in her parted lips and long, thin eyelashes. She had a bruise under her right eyebrow, almost like she'd dodged a black eye. Her forehead had traces of old acne scars as well as a cut on her right eyebrow, a thin line where hair would no longer grow. Her ears were also pierced, Tyler noticed, because her hair was now pulled away from her face. Two small diamonds on the lobes and her left ear had some sort of a metal bar going through the cartilage. Her right love was infected, red and raw. On a limb, Tyler reached up and took the two diamonds out, making her whimper on pain from her sleepy state. 

"It'll be ok." He hummed to himself as he put the earrings in her bedside table, making sure the left ear wasn't infected as well. 

She mumbled something in her sleep that sounded a whole lot like "Ty" to Tyler, but he shrugged it off and went about pressing things in her monitor, making sure the pain meds were working full force. 

"Beautiful disaster." Tyler whispered to himself as he held her hand, wrapping his fingers around the plastic tubes.

"Who broke you?" he said suddenly, rubbing her palm with his thumb.

"I don't know how..." He started, reaching up to tuck a wisp of floating brown hair behind her ear.

"But I'm gonna fix you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Tuesday

Tyler drove home at six in the morning, the sun creeping up over the horizon making the sky look like a glass of raspberry lemonade.  The radio was blasting blink 182 which Tyler was grateful for, he needed to wake up.

_“Something’s wrong, reckless abandon…”_

He hummed along, tapping the steering wheel as he drove through the small city and into his town. Soon he was outside an apartment complex. It was newer, and the rooms were nice enough for Tyler, being alone and all. He desperately wanted a pet. A dog, cat, bird, fish…he wasn’t picky. If he couldn’t find a girlfriend, a goldfish would probably be plan b.

After pulling into the parking garage, he drove up to the highest tier, parking in the farthest corner and turning up the music as loud as it would go.

Now There Is from Boxcar Racer was playing, and he walked over to the garage’s wall and sat on top, dangling his feet over the edge.

_“Do you care if I, don’t know what to say? Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me?”_

He breathed in the crisp Ohio air through his nose and hummed along to one of his favorites, his body just a hop away from plummeting a couple hundred feet.

_“Will I shake this off, pretend it’s all ok, that there’s someone out there who feels just like me?”_

At these lyrics Tyler stood, screaming them on wobbly feet atop something so tall, knowing if he lost his balance he’d be done.

_“There is.”_

He whispered the words aloud, staring off into the sunrise barely visible over the buildings in front of him. If there was one thing Tyler was right now, it was confused.

Well, confused and tired.

Tired was a definite.

Slowly he bent down, getting on his knees before plopping back down on the ledge.

“What am I doing here?” he asked himself, burying his head in his palms and exhaling softly.

“I am going absolutely crazy.”

_Over that girl_

“That’s not true at all. She’s a patient. I’m just looking out for her.”

_Sure_

“This is bullshit.” He says to himself, slipping off the ledge and climbing into his car, turning the radio down and driving to the bottom floor.

“shit.”  He mumbles as he drops his room key on the ground in an attempt to unlock the door numbered “420”

When he first moved in he had always smiled at the name, making him laugh like an 8th grader whenever he came home.

He walks into the pitch black house. Pink light creeping in through the heavily curtained windows. After putting his backpack away, Tyler stumbles into his room and flops on his bed, still dressed head to toes in his light blue scrubs. His eyes were fluttering shut as the sun was fully in the sky and in under five minutes he was asleep, utterly exhausted and in need of a good eight hours or anything he could get at this point..

It was only 12:30 in the afternoon when a shrill beeping alarmed throughout the house, accompanied by Tyler’s snores almost begging the pager to just let him sleep.

“Why the fuck-“Tyler grumbled, opening his eyes and tapping the alarm still strapped to his hip. Just as he turned off Brendon’s wake up call, his phone began to ring on the other side of this room.

‘You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He groaned, untangling himself from the sheets, taking his sweet time before reaching for the phone and pressing “accept” after seeing that it was Sarah.

“Hell-“

“Tyler?”

“Yes, what do you want it’s…” he looks at the time, takin the phone away from his ear. “It’s fucking 12:35.”

“I’m so sorry Tyler, I know it is and I’m really sorry for waking you but it’s an emergency.”

Tyler sat up and groaned very disrespectfully and tromped into the kitchen, phone under his ear being propped up by his shoulder and he went along making coffee. "What is it?" 

"It's the girl..." Tyler's head snapped up, nearly dropping his phone and he scrambled to catch it before it hit the tile. 

"What? Why, is she OK?" He asked shakily, not noticing how desperate this was, and how he had never really acted like this before. 

"Yeah she's fine...but, but she won't talk." 

"Yeah I know, that's not a thing she does." Tyler laughs nervously, putting the coffee back and sitting at the counter. 

"She's...not taking her medicine. Won't get up." Sarah sighs heavily, undoubtedly exhausted.

"Why not?"

"She won't do it unless you're here." Sarah says finally, making a piece of granola fall out of Tyler's mouth.  

"WHAT?" Tyler gasped, nearly choking. 

"She...has  _requested_ you..." Sarah says with a light chuckle. "...spelled out Ty in sign language. She can speak though right?" 

"y-yeah...yeah she can speak." 

"Soo can you come in?" 

But Tyler was already lacing his vans stepping out the door.  despite how tired he still was, and how his stomach rumbled as he sat against the freezing leather seat in his car, Boxcar Racer resuming as he turned on the ignition. 

"God dammit." Tyler mumbled to himself as he noticed he was nearly out of gas. Even so, he sped off to the hospital without a second thought, even forgetting the now cold coffee sitting on the kitchen counter. 

His face itched as he drove. He fucking forgot too shave, forgot to eat, forgot his coffee. This was turning out to be a really sucky day. And it had just begun. Tyler had seemed to forget that this was the start of another shift. 

he better get paid overtime for this shit. 

 

"It's about time!" Brendon scolds as Tyler enters the main office, clothes wrinkled and hair disheveled.

"Eat me." Tyler scoffed, pushing past Brendon who let out a hoot of laughter.

"Sure babe." Brendon chuckled, pouring himself another cup of coffee that Tyler stared at longingly. 

"Shut up." 

"sorry, forgot you were extremely homophobic." 

"Brendon you know I'm bi shut the fuck up." 

"Chill Ty...here." Brendon hands him the lukewarm coffee and Tyler accepts, sipping it quietly as he exists the room. 

"Far from homophobic....what an asshole." Tyler seethes as he hops up the stairs. 

After about five minutes Tyler is gasping for air on the third floor of the ICU. It was a long walk, and being skinny and nonathletic had really caught up him. 

"We need an elevator or some shit." he pants as he grips his clipboard and cautiously wanders through the hall. he had really never been here during the day before, they didn't need him, and if this girl continued to need him he'd be here a lot longer than normal. There were so many more people during the day, Tyler noticed. Patients were being wheeled throughout the hallway, some of which Tyler recognized and waved shyly. He didn't converse with the other nurses, just looked down at his clipboard Sarah had given him on his way up.

"Joseph, done with the night shits eh?" Tyler sighed and looked up to see another male nurse he didn't remember the name of...maybe his last name is a Friends character or something. 

"No, got called in for a special case." he says softly, looking over the other guy's shoulder and clicking the pen in his hand. 

"Oh..cool, better get on it then!" The boy said cheerfully and Tyler shot back an obviously fake smile. 

"Yep." 

Thank god, Tyler thought as the boy finally left. He was outside room 105 right now, and he inched forward slowly as he got closer to 108. 

He didn't understand...he had been in such a rush to come back and now that he was here he couldn't even move. Half of his dreams last night were about her, or things related to her. 

Specifically the bruises on her neck. 

Tyler didn't like those.

Not one bit. 

Soon he was outside her door, breathing heavily and leaning his forehead on the door. 

_why are you getting so twisted?_

_It's just a girl._

_She's hurt._

_She's too much work._

_It's just a job._

_She's just a responsibility._

Tyler refuses to listen to himself anymore. He pastes a neutral expression on his face and enters the room with a soft click of the door.

"hey..." he sang, looking at the girl sitting as best she could criss cross with a broken leg. her one foot was stretched out while her other was in a triangular shape touching it. She was looking a lot better. Clean, bandaged, and her eyes were no longer dark and frightened. 

She waved, a small smile cracking across her face. It made Tyler happy to see her awake and actually showing an expression other than terror. 

"How ya doin?" Tyler asked, walking over and examining her monitor, seeing that in the early hours, exactly after he left, she had had a panic attack. The peaks of the LCD were high and nerve racking, making Tyler feel guilty that he hadn't been there to comfort her. She shouldn't be alone at all really. 

"ok." A small voice piped up and Tyler smiled without having to look over. He knew she was lying, but he decided not to press on the matter. 

"That's really good. Now... why am I here at 1:00 pm?" she froze, looking extremely guilty and just looked down without a sound. 

"It's ok, I don't mind at all. I missed you." 

Her head snaps up almost immediately, eyes wide with disbelief. "no...n-no you didn't." 

"I did, honest." Tyler crosses his chest and smiles warmly. "nice to hear your voice." He says. 

She smiles slightly, her hair up in an extravagant bun, small curly wisps of brown hair that had escaped the bun were floating around her face, framing it beautifully. "thanks." 

"So, why am I here so early?" Tyler asks, trying his chances with the scared girl. "I was told you requested me, not something I get very often." 

"Ummm, I-I just..." She stammered, looking from him to the ground to him again. 

"can't get enough of me can you?"  

"No...I just..." She stutters again and picks at her nails. 

"I was just kidding." Tyler sighs, cursing himself for making her uncomfortable. he's so used to joking with Gabe that it seemed normal. 

"oh...o-ok." Tyler watches as she tucks a stray hair behind her ear, hissing quietly as she brushes past the piercing. 

"Is that infected?" Tyler sighs, walking over and crouching next to the bed. he takes her ear between his fingers, taking note of when she whimpers as he presses on the metal bar. 

"I-I don't know...I never c-cleaned it." Her voice was still barely a whisper, a low croak and Tyler was just glad she's talking at all. 

"Ok. I'll take care of it. Do you think you can do it without any anesthesia?" She nods at him, clenching her eyes shut as Tyler puts on gloves and tugs on the piercing gingerly. 

After making sure she was calm, he removed the backs of them, which didn't cause any pain. He looked at her one more time before taking both ends of the bar and pulling it up, making her cry out in a strangled yelp. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Tyler repeated breathlessly, watching as she threw her wrist over her eyes to hide tears. 

"'S ok!" She yelped, making Tyler almost laugh at her constant need to not be a nuisance. 

After another minute it was out, and the girl sat back exhausted. Tyler turned to put it on a table next to her.

"I'm so sorry, but it was going to get worse, we wouldn't want to amputate your ear right? Would ruin your pretty face." Tyler looks over his shoulder at the girl, who had grown redder by the minute. 

"I-I'm not..." She mumbled but Tyler crouched next to her again, concern swimming in his dark brown eyes. 

"yes." 

She didn't respond, just looked at her fingers again and blushed. 

"Why didn't you talk to the other nurses, they told me you used sign language again."

she shrugs, looking up at him with lighter eyes, glassy and round. Like a pond with lily pads floating in it. "I d-don't know. D-don't trust 'em." 

Tyler laughs, "what made you trust me?" 

"I'm n-not sure." She said but Tyler could tell it was a lie. 

"I have to give you your medicine, is that alright?" he tried focusing on the task at hand, which was getting her medicated. 

"hmmm." she hummed, tugging at the sleeve of her shirt. 

Tyler sanitized the shot the doctor prescribed. "lavender huh?" 

She blushed, "M-my mom gave it to me t-to calm me d-down." she spoke slowly, the one sentence taking a full forty seconds. 

"She's smart. Where is she?" Tyler questioned, gingerly taking her wrist and positioning the needle over her vein. 

"I d-don't know. haven't seen her in a while." she whispered. 

"does she know your here?" Tyler asked, inserting the needle but the girl hardly noticed. 

"no." 

"Why not?" 

"She d-doesn't know I left t-town..." The girl mumbles, tugging on her hair. 

"What town do you live in?" 

"Springfield." 

Tyler almost choked on air. Springfield? that was nearly 50 miles away. 53 minutes by bus, and nearly two days on foot. 

"w-what?" She asked, looking utterly oblivious. 

"Springfield...Ohio?" Tyler asked and she nodded. 

Tyler said nothing, only grabbed her covers from the bottom and pulled them up, lifting her non broken foot and taking off her sock. 

"holy-" Her foot was red and raw, the bottom almost bruising. "did, did you walk?" 

"yeah, why?" she asked, looking scared again. 

"that's...that's almost fifty miles, almost two days." 

"I slept in between." she says, sounding almost angry.. 

"where?"

"why?"

"these are things I need to know ga-" Tyler stopped himself before he called the girl Gabe. 

"Ga?" she asked, scowling.

"sorry, I still don't know your name." Tyler said softly, putting her covers back over her and sitting in a chair next to the bed. 

"I d-don't want to t-talk anymore." she crossed her arms.   
  


"well I didn't want to be paged at 12:00 this morning to come to work almost eight hours early but I had to anyway." Tyler said, sounding more agitated then he actually was. He crossed his legs, sipping his coffee. 

"I-I'm sorry..." to Tyler it was almost a whimper. 

"No, you  shouldn't be. This is my job anyway." This made the girl's face soften. But not happily, she looked as if she were about to cry. 

"No no, don't do that..." Tyler leaned forward and patted her leg, making her recoil.

"I shouldn't be here..." she cried softly, palms to face, the cast making it difficult. 

"Why not?" 

"I shouldn't even be alive." she sobbed, making the hair on Tyler's neck stand. 

"don't say that-" 

"It's true, that was the whole purpose, I chose the fastest car-" She wailed, covering her blotchy face. 

"wait, what?" Tyler asked breathlessly, climbing on the bed and taking her face in his palms. 

"Nothing is ever worth that, trust me." He said loudly, over her tears. 

"How do you know, you don't even know me!" she cries, making Tyler shudder. He didn't like this at all. 

"I know because...your highway is my bridge!" he yells, making her look up. 

"w-what?" her lip trembled. 

"A couple of years ago, when I was your age-"

"nineteen."

"nineteen. I was in a very bad place. I would rather not talk about it but I was stopped before anything happened." he admits, still holding her tear stained cheeks. 

"Then why do I have to talk about it?" 

"because your in a hospital bed and your parents don't even know." 

"they wouldn't care anyway! They p-probably d-don't even know I left!" she yells, teeth now gritted next to tearful eyes. 

"W-what?" Tyler gasps, holding her face tighter and she whimpers. 

"They ignore me. I said I  was sleep-ping over at a friend's house." she coughs.

"Ok. Well we are going to have to call them." Tyler says quietly and her eyes grow about five sizes. 

"NO!" She screams, making Tyler release her face. Her breathing stutters, and tears start to fall again, her chest heaving. 

"Hun, you need to calm down...we need to contact a guardian." 

"I'm nineteen!" She screams, voice breaking and wavering as her lungs contort. "Ow, fuck!" 

"what, what is it?" Tyler lays her down and puts his palm on her forehead. 

"M-my chest." she chokes out, pushing her eyes under Tyler's palm.

"Ok, it's your rib. Hold on." Tyler starts to leave the room to get more pain medication. 

"wait," He turns around at the sound of her voice pleading. "stay with me please. I'm so tired of..." she trails off. 

"of what?" Tyler asks, shutting the door and crouching next to her. 

"Nothing. N-nevermind." she murmurs, holding her hands over her mouth. 

"ok. For now, you need to control your breathing and take this." he hands her a handful of pills and goes to the bathroom to pour her a glass of water. 

"why do you keep doing that?" She asks and Tyler looks over at her from the bathroom.

"do what?" 

"be really p-personal and compassionate, then g-go back to being a n-nurse." she mutters and Tyler frowns, handing her the glass of water. 

"it's my j-"

"job I know." 

"well do you expect me to sit here and read magazines with you?" He asks and regrets it when he sees how sad she looks. 

"you're right...I'm just too high maintenance." she sighs, eyes welling. 

"No, no your not I'm just...hard to get along with." 

"doesn't seem like it to me." 

"well I am, you don't really understand." 

"then h-help me t-to." 

Tyler knew she didn't have a stutter. It was just how scared she was. Her stutters were too sporadic to be real.

"It's a long story."

"I have t-time."

"How about this," Tyler tries to compromise. "Everyday, we'll ask each other one question, how's that?"

"Ok I guess."

"Good, you wanna go first?"

"yeah...could you um...do you know how to..." She bites her nail nervously. 

"know how to what?"

"do you know how to braid hair?"

Tyler chuckles, nodding with a smile and climbing on the bed next to her, making sure she was comfortable.  "Sit forward." 

"ok." It's a tiny noise, but she scoots forward and let's him get behind her before she scoots back, fitting her body between his legs. 

"Pick a good one, this is it for today." Tyler says as he takes her hair from the bun and separates it into sections like Madison taught him when he was younger. 

"alright...what is your family like?" 

It was an odd question for Tyler, not something many people would ask first. Perhaps it was because her own home life was unsatisfactory, that her family wasn't good enough so she'd wrap herself in his life for some sort of reassurance. 

"well I'm 22, and I have a sister who is 18 and two brothers who are 20 and 12. My mom and my dad are both teachers and work at the same school where my siblings and I went." 

"pets?" 

"No...we didn't have time for one." he start's fishtailing her hair.

"girlfriend?" 

Tyler almost choked on air.

"N-no. I had one, a while ago b-but it didn't really work out." 

"Ok." She sounds unsure, and Tyler has no clue why. 

"ok.....where to start with you." Tyler laughs lightly and tugs at her hair and she giggles. 

"alright, I have one." 

"lay it on me." 

"what's your name?" 

Tyler heard a swallow, and the bed shifting due to her body tensing. 

"does it have to be that?" 

"why not?" 

"it's..it's just harder. To get attached." 

"It's major protocol. I won't get attached just knowing your name I promise." He was right, he wouldn't get attached just knowing her name. 

right?

"Ok...." her voice cracked. 

"C'mon..." Tyler nudged her forward and tucked a stray hair into the wavy braid. 

"it's....Anna." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Wednesday

It was now almost five in the afternoon and Tyler was even more tired then before if that was even possible. As he passed a reflective window in the hallway he cringed at the droopy bags under his eyes, making him look like a walking zombie. It had been nearly six hours since he last woke up, five hours since he'd arrived at work, and four hours since he'd heard Anna's name for the first time.

One could assume it's been a long day for Tyler. 

And it was far from over. 

At about 3 in the afternoon he had fallen asleep in Anna's room, and was woken by the anesthesiologist. Later in the day he was informed that if he stayed until 1 he would be paid overtime. Normally he would decline and just go home, but he really wanted to buy a new keyboard. 

So he decided to rough it out for another seven hours. 

"So do you agree?" Tyler looks up from his twitter feed and makes eye contact with Brendon. 

"Uh..yeah sure?" It was really more of a question then a solid reply. 

"You haven't been listening at all have you?" 

"Sorry no." Tyler admits, blushing faintly and putting his phone down. 

"Hey I took twenty minutes out of my schedule to have a lunch break with you." Brendon sounds hurt and Tyler really doesn't have the energy to deal with him right now.

"I'm sorry man, it's just been a long day." Tyler sighs, picking up an apple and taking a big bite.  

"I get that. So how's 7873 progressing?" Tyler winced a little at the name he used. Like she was a statistic. 

"She's...better I guess." Tyler says quietly, looking at the table. 

"How are her ribs?" 

"Umm the broken ones are aligning normally and the bruised one should heal soon." It was true, she was getting along better then expected, which made everything a lot easier. 

"What about her mental state?" Brendon asks casually and Tyler winces again. 

"she's scared. Moody, grumpy, uncomfortable. But who can blame her?" Tyler says lightly, staring at the wall behind Brendon. 

"I'd like you to talk to her about that." 

"about what?" Tyler frowns, picking at his forehead. 

"Why she was on the highway by herself at night without a fucking car or anything Tyler." Brendon says almost angrily. 

"Oh. Ok I'll ask her tonight." Tyler replies, knowing that he probably won't. he'll follow Gabe's instructions and wait until she's comfortable. 

"I went to check in on her earlier you know." Brendon comments, crunching on a chip.  

"what?" Tyler asks suddenly, eyes flickering to Brendon and staying there. 

"why are you being so defensive, she's not yours." Brendon snaps back, making Tyler's eyes widen. Oh shit, was he being like that?

"sorry...'jus tired. Was she ok?" 

"fine. opened the door to see her humming along to shape of you that was playing on the radio." Brendon laughs slightly. "she sure has a funny personality. The minute she saw me she scowled and turned it off." 

Tyler laughs as well. "special case for sure. Very stubborn." 

"damn right, she wouldn't even let me touch her." 

Tyler laughs again, running a hand through his tangled overgrown brown hair. 

"I just don't know why she likes  _you_ so much." Brendon borderline scoffs.

"excuse me?" 

"well you aren't exactly a ray of sunshine Tyler." 

He shrugs. Brendon had a point. He was a moody introvert, night shifts and bitchy bosses not helping with his personality. 

"I don't know why. I guess I just have my methods." Tyler shrugs, smiling to himself.

"Tyler..." 

"yeah?" He looks up, stupid smile still pasted on his face. 

"You don't...have a crush on her right?" Brendon asks, making Tyler almost fall out of his chair. 

"What?! No way!" Tyler shrieks defensively, holding his hands in front of him. 

"geez ok...I was going to say, that wouldn't be very smart of you, she is going to leave sometime." 

Tyler frowns, avoiding Brendon's eyes. "I know that." 

"speaking of which...that kid, Gabe?" 

"yeah?" Tyler asks, voice high and shaky, knowing what Brendon is going to say and hating it. 

"He's leaving next Wednesday." 

Tyler's mouth drops open. That's way too soon. He wasn't supposed to leave for weeks. "that can't be right." 

"It is. He's going back home to live in his new house. New Jersey I think." Brendon scratches his nose while Tyler fights back tears. 

"d-does he know?" 

"yeah. he's ecstatic." Brendon smiles, taking a bit of his hoagie. 

"that's...that's great." Tyler chokes out, picking at his thumbnail. 

"I know you were close. I'm sure you'll find a way to communicate." Brendon remarks, awkwardly patting Tyler's hand on the other side of the table. 

"Yeah." Is all Tyler says. This day was just getting worse and worse. And it wasn't even close to being over yet. 

It was at times like these when Tyler wishes that the biker hadn't stopped that night. 

Times like these when he wishes he'd bled out. 

But these times were also reminders that he needs to be strong and overcome life's challenges. 

Like his  _friend from high school_ had taught him to. 

Taught him to be strong. 

"You ok?" Brendon asks, snapping Tyler back into reality. 

"fine." Tyler coughs. 

"You look a little sick. Do you feel alright? Everyone's been getting strep, your girl has it now." Tyler cocks his head, further confused with everything's that Brendon's telling him. 

"Your head case. She's been coughing like crazy." 

Tyler exhales roughly, because this simple conversation is getting him more and more worked up by the second. He needs an excuse. 

"Oh really? I'll go see her now." Tyler says suddenly, louder then normal and throws his trash away, grabbing his phone, and briskly walking out of the room leaving a puzzled Brendon behind. 

 

 

It had only been two days, but Tyler had already memorized shortcuts to get to room 108. It was outside the ICU, in a dim hallway closer to the children's section then the adults. Tyler honestly didn't like working with adults, not that they were old but Tyler's position was more to comfort the patients then to actually operate on them. A child would rather sit and talk then a fifty year old. 

Tyler passed more nurses and engaged in small talk on his way to the room, dreading every second as usual. It wasn't that he didn't like them, it was just that he likes to keep to himself, he would rather hum to himself then walk with someone. 

Introvert would probably be the best word to describe him. 

As much as he wanted to see Gabe, he had promised Anna to come back after his lunch break. 

She hadn't asked him to, but she hadn't refused. Most of his afternoon had consisted of  him just keeping her company. It was unproductive and he should've been doing other things, but she had another panic attack and he felt guilty about leaving her all alone in the dark hospital room. Granted, it was nicer then the others since she'd be here for a while, but it was still so melancholy. After saying her name she hadn't spoken after, using her small sign language vocabulary and body language to communicate.

Tyler just couldn't figure out why she wasn't talking. 

He had an idea of what her life is like, small hints giving him a better idea of what led her to do what she does. Small flinches when he comes forward, shaking when he touches her arm, not making eye contact.

Tyler guessed it was abuse, but not from her parents because she was still wearing her father's shirt. Still using the lavender her mother gave her.

So who abused her?

Tyler didn't plan on asking anytime soon, he'd ease her into it. 

When he reached her room, he knocked three times lightly before pushing open the door, seeing her not in her bed, but sitting on the floor next to it. 

"wha..." Tyler stopped himself from asking when he saw she was crying. He carefully walked over and got on the floor next to her, sitting criss cross. 

She sniffed, coughing deep in her throat, broken croaky noises escaping making Tyler cringe. 

"It's alright, I'm here it's ok." Tyler soothed, wanting to touch her but keeping himself under control. 

She visibly calmed at his words, ceasing her coughs and scooting forward, still attached to the IV's. 

She was so hurt, at this point Tyler really didn't know how to handle the situation. 

"did you fall?" He asks and she shakes her head, sniffling again. 

"Then why are you on the floor?" he asks in a hushed tone, making her look up. 

"...I-I don't really know." 

"That's alright, do you wanna get back in bed?" 

"I g-guess." 

Tyler was still baffled by the fact that she got out of bed with a broken leg and arm, she had to have fallen or something. She couldn't stand, due to her position on the floor, so Tyler stood, slowly and gently picking her up and placing her on the bed. 

She settled into the sheets, eyes shifting between Tyler and the open door. 

"You want me to close it?' Tyler asks softly and she nods. 

He walked over and shut the door carefully, walking back over to the bed and sitting in a chair next to it. 

"Have you eaten anything since you got here?" He asks, concern flickering over his eyes as she shakes her head, looking embarrassed. 

"Are you hungry?" Tyler tries to hide the worry in his voice. She shakes her head and he sighs.

"You've been getting enough nutrients from the IV's, but sooner or later you're going to have to eat something. Even if it's small." her eyes glance up at him and she nods knowingly, fingernails rubbing against her neck. 

"ok." 

"I heard Brendon came to visit you." Tyler starts to strike up conversation but it seems that wasn't the right thing to say judging by the way her eyes darkened and she started scratching at her neck. 

"what's wrong...what did he do?" 

"n-nothin." She mumbles, cupping a hand under her chin and pulling at her earlobe. 

"Are you sure?" 

"yes." 

"did he say anything?" 

"not really. Same stuff y-you say." She replies, scooting back on the bed to get farther away from him. 

"ok, good." 

"you seem upset." Tyler raises an eyebrow

"I could say the same about you." He earns a nasty glare and realizes that was a really douchey thing to say. 

"sorry." 

" 's fine." 

"I  know I'm not really the best person to talk to. I haven't really handled anything like this before." Tyler admits, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the bruises on her face and neck. 

"just a burden don't mind me." she murmurs and Tyler almost doesn't catch it. 

"You aren't!" Tyler says maybe a little too loud and she flinches. 

"I mean...you need time to heal and someone to talk to. It's necessary." 

She rolls her eyes, huffing then coughing deep in her throat, sniffling after.

Without thinking, Tyler gets up and presses a hand to her forehead, making her eyes widen and her breathing quicken. 

"p-please don't t-touch me." Her voice is a squeak and Tyler removes it as fast as he put it down. 

"I apologize, just checking to see if your warm." 

"c-can't you use a thermometer?" she asks in another high voice.

"Oh...right." Tyler buries his head in the cabinet near the door, pulling out an old thermometer he's surprised they still carry. 

Her eyes follow him as he makes his way back to the bed, crouching down next to her. 

"can you open your mouth for me?" 

she does, and Tyler places the thermometer under her tongue, keeping still for a moment and avoiding eye contact as her stare bores into him. After he removes it, it makes a small beeping noise and his eyes enlarge at the reading. 

"That's not good." Tyler sings and chuckles lightly reading that she has a fever of 104. 

"what?" 

"you have a fever." 

"I'm a fuckin mess." she grumbles under her breath and grabs a fistful of hair. Coughing no less then two seconds later.

"I'm not going to respond." Tyler laughs lightly, throwing the thermometer away and returning to her bedside. 

"So before I leave I'm going to do a routine check if that's alright?" 

She doesn't respond, only stares ahead. 

"I'm going to have to touch you Anna." Her head snaps to him at the mention of her name. 

"I-I don't like t-to be touched." It's almost a whimper and it breaks Tyler's heart.

"I'm really sorry but I have to if I want to make sure you're ok." 

"No one ever cared, so why now? I'm fine." She scowls.

"Well I care." Tyler says defensively, crossing his arms and she just rolls her eyes again.

"no shit, your a nurse." 

"fair point. But sometimes there's special cases." 

"such as?"

"a boy named Gabe, a floor down. We've been friends for a while. I buy him things and we have boy talks every night." Tyler chuckles and busies himself with a stethoscope.  

"cute." She hums, blowing wavy brown hairs off her forehead.  

"If you want I could play music while I do it?" Tyler suggests, gesturing to the radio on her side table. 

"Sure I guess."

"how about Shape Of You?" Tyler asks with a laugh and she blushes. 

"I don't care." 

"Alright then." He walks over to the radio and turns the dial, patiently waiting for a good song to catch his ear's attention. 

"Oh this is a good one." He says as 'Electric Love' by BORNS starts playing. He looks at Anna for conformation and frowns when he notices how uncomfortable she looks.

"what's wrong?"

"can you...not this song please." she pleads, tears forming in her eyes and Tyler cocks his head before turning the dial again.  'Change Your Mind' by the Killers starts playing. He breathes in relief when she wipes her eyes and bobs her head along to the guitar. 

"is this ok?" 

"yeah I love the K-Killers." 

"Can I start?"

"g-go for it." 

Tyler laughs, gingerly setting the tools next to the bed and sits on the edge, scooting closer to the frightened girl.

"I'd never hurt you alright, I'm gentle." he says reassuringly, and she nods with her jaw clenched. 

He reaches over and lifts her into an upright position, making soothing noises as he feels around her ribs, listening for pained noises and he doesn't receive any. 

"you have to tell me if it hurts." he comments, looking up at her to see she's holding her breath with her eyes wired shut. 

"i-it really hurts." she squeaks, breathing quickening under Tyler's palm. 

"Ok, ok I got you." He hums, sitting her back down and taking her broken arm in its cast. 

"How about your arm?" 

"My arm and leg are fine." She sighs, sniffling. 

"stuffy?" Tyler smiles at her and receives one in return. 

"a little." 

Tyler gets a little flashlight out of his pocket and shines it in her eyes, pupils not really dilating as there supposed to. 

"weird..." He mutters, rotating the light between his fingers. 

"what?"

"nothin." he replies, clicking it off and getting off the bed, putting a pillow under her foot and head, turning down the lights in the room. 

"are you going to leave?" she asks and Tyler raises an eyebrow.

"do you want me to?" 

"no!" She looks panicked, then mildly embarrassed. "I mean...if you have things to do..." 

"I really don't." Tyler laughs lightly and she flushes a deep red. 

"I can't expect you to stay here..." she trails off, itching her IV's but Tyler lets her off on that one. 

"If I stay can I ask another question?" Tyler takes a chance to find out more about her and she nods nervously.

"I guess so." 

He sits in the chair next to her, fiddling with the collar of his shirt and she clears her throat. 

"well?"

"oh...alright." Tyler thinks for a minute, trying to keep himself composed because he really wants to dive into the bruises on her neck but he knows she won't answer. 

"do you have any diagnosed mental illnesses?" he asks and she seems completely taken aback. 

"why do you care?" she spits, crossing her arms carefully and Tyler bites his lip. 

"just wondering."

"I don't think that's a very appropriate question." she scoffs, looking at the wall. "Anxiety and depression since you're just  _dying_ to know." 

Tyler looks at the floor, feeling extremely guilty. "I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better I have them as well."

She hums a satisfied noise and keeps staring at the wall. "guess we're a couple of fuckups." 

Tyler laughs nervously, eyeing the scars on her wrist once again. She looks away from the wall and sees him staring. 

"see something you like?"

"far from it." he mumbles, self consciously pulling down his sleeve. 

"You know I didn't ask to be here." she frowns, a look that Tyler decides doesn't suit her. 

"Well I'm glad you are." 

"cut the bullshit alright, I wanna be left alone." 

Tyler sighs, getting to his feet and walks to the door feeling utterly defeated. Whenever he got somewhere with her, she'd shut down. 

"...I'll...I'll be back later." 

No response. 

His hand is on the door knob and he hears her speak again. 

"If I'm damned to live then I'm damned to choose." 

Without a word he opens the door and exits, closing it gently behind him and in the spur of the moment, he leans against it and sinks to the floor. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Thursday

Sitting in the hallway alone really wasn't something that Tyler did often. Grated, sometimes it was really hard seeing patients in such pain, and other times it was just a lack of releasing his emotions. Right now though, Tyler was crying because that girl just hit way too close to home. Taking care of her was going to be extremely emotionally exhausting. That wasn't even the half of it. Anna, as much as Tyler hated it, resembled him as a teenager. She had the same fiery passion that was driving her to hate herself, and she had the strength to carry it out as well. Without anyone to help her Tyler knew she wouldn't last a week outside of the hospital, at least by herself. 

Tyler had been just like her, so much so that it gave him a headache when he thought about it. It was like looking in a mirror. He knew that without his help she wouldn't last. 

He also knew that she wouldn't want his help, like he hadn't wanted any.

help comes in a variety of places, one being a biker on the side of the bridge. Help comes where you least expect it, the shy boy in the corner of the class who rubbed lavender on his wrists. 

Help had come to Tyler and it had truly saved him. Saved him from himself. 

help, Tyler learned, would come to anyone who needed it. 

Whether they wanted it or not. 

And now Tyler was pleading to whatever force that sent him the help before, to send it now. Frankly,he was tired of praying to a god that he didn't believe in, but right now what he needed was a little bit of hope or he'd come crashing down. he had never been a holy person, never went to church with his family, never prayed before dinner, but now it seemed, 

He needed God more then ever. 

The tattoos on his arms and chest told a different story though. If you asked, he would say some bullshit about symbolism. But deep down he knew it meant something much different. 

Head still between his knees, Tyler whispered to himself as tears fell, "this is safe, this is safe."

He didn't acknowledge the soft patter of feet coming towards him, nor the smell of drugstore aftershave. 

"Tyler, are you alright?" 

He sniffed, wiping his face hastily and rising to his feet. "I'm fine...just tired." 

he wasn't tired, he was  _ exhausted.  _

_ " _ Well ok. Um, if you really need it, the couch in my office is available." Brendon spoke softly and low, as if it were a secret. 

"Ok...thanks a lot." Tyler responded, hiking himself up physically and emotionally. Because, 

Tyler Joseph doesn't cry at work.

"Tyler, if this patient is too much for you we can reschedule." 

"No, no it's fine." Tyler said quickly, running a hand through his hair and pulling it back shakily. 

"Tyler, if  _ this  _ is too much for you we can work something out." Tyler cocked his head in confusion, keeping his eyes of Brendon's concerned eyes. 

"This?" 

"You know, working with people like this." 

Tyler's shoulders slumped. "I can handle it. You don't need to shove me in the back room or the front desk Brendon." 

"I understand, but if this is taking a toll on your health I have to intervene." Brendon said knowingly, taking Tyler's shoulders and leading him back to the offices. 

"Brendon...I gotta, go see Gabe."

"Tyler, you gotta get some sleep." Brendon's voice wavered, confusing Tyler even more. Why did he care this much? He gave him the night shifts.

"Alright, fine. But after I'm seeing my patients." 

"Got it." 

Tyler haphazardly rolled his eyes. Brendon was right though, he did need some sleep and it was wrong of him to deny it. 

Soon he was face down on the old upholstered couch in Brendon's office, breathing in the thick musky scent of dust through his nose. If he was getting a cold this wouldn't help, but you've gotta pick your battles.

 

When Tyler awoke once more he was on his stomach, drool slowly making it's way out of his mouth and onto the embroidered pillow. Groggily he blinked a few times before sitting up, feeling his face during the oncoming head rush, and leaning back on the cushions staring about the room. It was darker outside, the clouds changing from white to a puffy pinkish color so Tyler assumed it was around six or seven at night. 

It was also raining, fast rhythms of rain hitting the hospital's metal room came in patters, dotting the thick windows in small droplets that reminded Tyler of stars. 

or freckles.

Freckles reminded Tyler of Gabe. 

And Anna.

So once he had them in his head there was no way he was going back to bed.

Slowly he rose from the couch, adjusting his scrubs and quickly making a decent cup of coffee before stumbling out of the door. 

Gabe was first so Tyler walked up the children's hall, waving at the younger ones with a bright enthusiastic smile as he did so. 

By late afternoon people had started to go home, not as many nurse, not as many workers, and not as many crying parents, boyfriends, and girlfriends. Late afternoon was Tyler's favorite time to be here, because it was in a way, relaxed. 

When he reached Gabe's door he pulled it open and was met with a big smile, causing him to reciprocate the action. 

"hey Tyler!" 

"Hey man, what's up?" 

"nothing really, where  _ have  _ you been?" Gabe asked, sounding vaguely annoyed. 

"just been around, sleeping in Brendon's office and taking care of my  _ headcase _ ." he ticked off all the reasons for being late, causing Gabe to nod as if it was a struggle for him too.

"Sleeping on the job eh?" 

"don't ask me, I was called here at twelve thirty today." Tyler sighed, causing Gabe to gasp. 

"All for that girl?!" 

"Yeah, she's been a handful." 

"sounds like it...Geez, twelve thirty for you is  _ pretty  _  bad." 

"Yeah it has been, this is my fourth cup today." 

"This girl better be returning the favor." Gabe murmured, making Tyler raise an eyebrow. 

"excuse me?" 

"well, she's kinda hot, what do you think?" 

"what the hell Gabe?" Tyler gasped, completely appalled. 

"what? I'm fifteen don't expect much!" 

"I don't know whether she's  _ hot _ , Gabe." Tyler spat. "She's hurt and she's scared and it's my job to make sure she heals. When did you even see her?" 

"I went on a walk, a  _mission_ if you will, to find this girl." 

Tyler rolls his eyes, sitting down and crossing his arms. "You are so incorrigible." 

"well by the way you talk about her it just made me think." 

"think what?" Tyler gasped again. 

"That you have a  _ crush  _ on her." Gabe made a face and Tyler almost laughed. 

"I do  _ not  _ have a crush on impatient Gabe, that will never happen." 

"But you talk about her all the time!" 

"I talk about her just as much as I talk bout my other patients." Tyler tries to defend himself. 

"sure, because you talk about Grace with whimsical sighs and dreamy eyes." Gabe huffs, making Tyler double take. Grace was a sixteen year old admitted a month after Gabe. She had been beaten by her dad, badly. She couldn't even hear Brendon's voice without immediately going into a panic attack. That's just how she was with men. She was alot better now, and never stopped talking about either Hamilton or field hockey. Tyler didn't know why Gabe was bring her up, she's not even his patient. 

"What?!" 

"You do! You talk about her like your high school crush Jenna!" 

Tyler blushes, turning around again and picking up his meds. "take these..." 

"Oh so now you're gonna ignore me!" Gabe asks in disbelief. 

"yep." 

"fine, but don't come crawling back to me to be your wing man." 

At this Tyler did laugh, a big one that hurt his stomach. 

"Chill dude." gabe said sitting back and swallowing the medication, "so did you hear about my departure?" 

"I did..." Tyler said quietly, looking at his feet. "Not very happy about it to be honest with you man." 

"Yeah I figured you'd wanna keep me here forever, considering I'm your only friend." 

"Yeah I wish I could keep you here forever, god I  _ love  _ changing your water bags and IV's every five hours." Tyler said like a brat. if he hurt Gabe's feelings, he didn't show it. 

"stuff it. You know you love me. But now you have that mute girl you're in love with." 

"Shut  _ up  _ Gabe, she's not mute she talks to me. And she has a name." 

"Oh really, she told you?" 

"Yeah, it's Anna."

"Cute." Gabe snorts, causing Tyler to pick up a shot. 

"Don't make me Gabriel. 

He immediately tenses, putting his hands in front of him. "don't even think about it man." 

"does she even know about you Tyler. Think about it, it may not be the best idea to form a relationship with this girl." 

"what do you mean?"

"Well I don't wanna bring it up, but you get attached to people really easily, and those people tend to... _ leave."  _

Tyler swallows, his lip quivering slightly. "That won't happen again. I won't let it." 

"I just want you to be happy." This fifteen year old sounds like his mom. 

"I do too." 

"Then do the right thing." 

"I will Gabe." 

"alright then, when I get home I'm getting a phone so you better give me your number before I leave, aight?" 

"Of course I will, that's be dumb not to. We'll plan something in the future, a get together or a  _ checkup  _ if you will." 

"you're so funny Tyler." Gabe remarked sarcastically, picking up a comic and burying his face in it. "now go, GO! Go to your girl Tyler." 

Tyler laughed softly, picking up his coffee, looking over his shoulder once and flipping Gabe off before closing the door behind him. 

Rain reminded Tyler of it's presence as he walked the halls, droplets splattering on the windows lining the dim walls creating a soothing pattern. When Tyler reached Anna's room, the door was open and he heard voices inside and one of them spoke his name. he stopped right next to it and pressed his back to the wall, listening closely. 

"So...for the bruises I'm going to give you this gel alright? Tell Tyler to put it on you where you can't reach it yourself, I don't want you to pull a muscle." The voice was soft and gentle, undoubtedly feminine. "Tyler is probably still asleep, but when he wakes up he'll give you another bath." It was Sarah's voice. 

Slowly he walked into the doorway, pausing as he was surprised Sarah was there. "Oh, hey Sarah." 

"Good morning Tyler," She said with a laugh, "I was just checking in on your girl." Why do people keep calling her that? 

"good, what's her stats?" 

"great actually. Everything is how it should be. Ribs, leg, arm, everything. The only thing we're having problems with is tracking down her parents. You said they were in Springfield?" Tyler avoided her eyes because he knew he'd throw up if her looked at how disappointed and scared they probably looked. He'd be to guilty. 

he just nodded, not having the strength to say yes. 

"ok then. I'll leave you to it. You can leave a little early today as well, around 11 if you want." 

"alright."Tyler choked out, walking over to the sink and washing his hands. 

It was dead silent, all except for the overwhelming sound of rain coming from the open window, cool air and drops of rain making their way onto the windowsill. 

"I should shut this." he mumbles to himself, putting his hands on the window. 

"no, don't." 

"why?" 

"I like the sound, it's a distraction." Tyler nodded, understandingly. 

"Alright, so do you want to bathe?" 

her eyes darken once again, body recoiling. 

"You really don't have to, but it's basic hygiene." 

she huffs loudly, eyes darting around the room and to the open bathroom door across from her bed. 

"so...?" 

"Fine." She sighs, throwing the sheets off herself and crossing her arms over the front of her chest. 

Tyler shuffles nervously on the balls of his feet, avoiding her gaze. "You need help?" 

she makes a face, between confusion and annoyance and nods so Tyler makes his way over to the bed and lifts her out, taking note of her rapidly quickening breathes and the grip on his shoulder that is seeming getting tighter and tighter. 

"Don't be scared, Tyler's got you." He hums lightly, placing her on the stool next to the tub. She sits in silence, catching her breath and gripping her chest with an almost terrified expression that deeply concerns Tyler. 

"Don't waste your time on me, you're already, a voice inside my head." Tyler sings quietly as he fiddles with the knobs on the bathtub. 

"I miss you." she sings along in almost a whisper, barely audible over the running water but it makes Tyler smile none the less. 

"Okay. So I'm gonna turn around if you don't need any help." Tyler says thoughtfully, helping her slide off the stool and held her up as she undressed, easing her into the lukewarm water before turning around, sitting with his back to the cool white porcelain. 

He gets nervous for a minute, not hearing her make any noise whatsoever and thinks she might be drowning, which is practically impossible. He hears water start to drip and exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been keeping in.  But after he does, he hears the almost blissful sound of happy little hums, water splashing and a cap popping open. 

"everything alright?" 

"Yep." 

Another smile bloomed across Tyler's worn face and he caught himself hating it. He scoffed to himself and heard a disapproving voice behind him. 

"What's got you so t-twisted?"

"Nothing for you to worry about." he could practically hear her frown after he said this. 

"fine." 

He waited another ten minutes before looking over his shoulder just to see her staring back. Heat spread over his face and he spun back around, picking his fingernail furiously. 

"So how long are you staying tonight?" She asks from behind him once again. 

"I don't really know, depends. Until 1 at the latest." 

"Ok. Don't expect another early morning, it won't happen again." 

Tyler was confused by this. Not completely, but still a little on edge. "Why is that?" 

"I'll be fine. I always find a way." 

"If you aren't okay you know you can just tell someone." 

"I'd rather tell you, but it'll be fine."

Tyler opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. "are you done?" 

"...y-yes. But I don't want you t-to touch me." 

"Well you can't stand up with a broken leg and arm." 

"I can too." 

"doubt it." Tyler stood and reached out for her, hearing a loud and heavy sigh before she extended her arms willingly. 

Another ten minutes later she was dressed once again, this time in a black long sleeved shirt that buttoned between her legs, which confused Tyler immensely, it was like a onsie for babies. Granted, it was probably 45$ at urban outfitters. She was well kept for the most part which was also puzzling, nice enough clothes and trimmed eyebrows, filed nails, and an overall cleanliness about her, even with bruises and bandages. Not everything was prim though, her hair was overgrown, her lips dry and cracking, and her body had clearly been on an unsteady diet. 

"I saw Gabe earlier." Anna speaks up. 

"he told me. Seems to think you're....well... _hot_?" 

She laughs, eyes twinkling and probably curing cancer. "Wow, I'm flattered. Tell him maybe in a few years." Another laugh, and she tosses a wet braid over her shoulder. Tyler sat across from her against the footboard of her bed, criss cross with a clipboard in hand. 

"I will. Need anything before I head out for the night?" 

She purses her lips, shaking her head and leaning back. "No I think I'll be good. Have a good night." 

"Ok." Tyler gets off the bed, taking his time organizing everything in the room before leaning against the door frame and waving goodbye.

"goodnight." Anna says, reaching for the vile of lavender on her bedside table. 

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" 

" _goodnight_ Tyler." She says sternly, waving him off and he laughs softly, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. 

"goodnight." 

Carpeting made swishing noises under his feet as he walked down to the main offices to grab his stuff, clocking out and reaching for his paycheck that had been stuck in his coat pocket. 

"alright alright alright." he hummed to himself as he tore it open, seeing a generous amount of money being added from today. 

Things were starting to work out. Anna was getting better and better everyday, Gabe was going home and he was finally being paid what he deserved. 

he was going to sleep well tonight. 

_ not.  _

 

Tyler blindly shoved his keys into the lock, twisting it to the right before abruptly pushing the door open, slamming it behind him and stumbling into his room. In a matter of seconds he was stripped down to his boxers and face down on his bed under the navy sheets, breathing in the musty scent of fresh linen and faint traces of lemon lavender. 

It was 3:30.

3:30am 

_3:30_  


"Tyler?" a crackly voice came through the phone, ringing throughout the pitch black darkness of Tyler's bedroom.

"What do you want Sarah?"

"Can you talk to her please?" Sarah was borderline pleading, voice cracking and not because of the phone. 

Tyler sat up in bed, rubbing his head, "Why, what happened?" 

"She's having another panic attack." 

"Okay, could you um...leave the room?" 

He heard a sigh, then  a door closing, then silence. 

"Anna?" 

nothing. 

"alright, whether you're there or not, hi it's Tyler." 

he heard a small noise, like a choked giggle. 

"Okay you're there, stay calm alright? You're fine I'm right here with you. Listen to my voice." 

A small sob. 

"don't cry. If you cry I'll be forced to drive there right now and that wouldn't be good because I'm not dressed." Tyler warned lightly, and he heard another small noise. 

"hey listen, I'm right here, it's fine. Go back to bed and I'll be there in the morning. can you do that for me? Go back to bed and you'll be alright." 

"...i'm scared." 

"Don't be. I'm here with you. Can you hear me." 

"y-yeah." 

"Then you're ok. As long as you can hear me. Now go back to bed. We'll dream together how does that sound?" 

"good." 

"Ok, it's settled, you're going to bed. See you in the morning."  


"ok." 

A few minutes of silence followed that, just the faint crackling sound of her breathing and soon it was Sarah. 

"Thank you so much Tyler, honestly I think you'll have to sleep here tomorrow night." Sarah laughed, the busy noises of the hallway echoing around her. 

"sure. Whatever it takes to actually get some sleep. Goodnight Sarah see you at 8." 

"see you then." 

The minute the call was over Tyler flipped over onto his back and passed out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy

"There he is, good morning Tyler. " Sarah said exasperatedly, running towards him as he entered the main ward.

"Yeah it is a good morning." he said, gesturing to the still pouring rain outside.

"Hey, at least you got eight hours of sleep last night, that's gotta feel good."

"Yeah it does. I actually had time to shower." Tyler remarks, grabbing his schedule off the front desk and skimming it.

"I really appreciate you coming to the rescue last night."  Sarah says quietly, pretending to be focused on stirring her coffee. 

Tyler shrugs, "It was no problem."  

"That's good, are you gonna start with her?" 

"I think so. Is she asleep?" 

"Yeah. She has been since the call." 

"alright, I think I'll start with some of the trauma patients before." Tyler says, changing his mind. Since he started working mornings, it's been a whole different scene. 

"Okay sounds good, if you need anything just page me." 

"Got it, bye." 

"bye Tyler." 

It was all the same to him today; the same schedule, the same weather, same people lining the walls. But for some reason he had a different attitude. 

It could be the sleep

But maybe it was something else. 

He was, happier? 

Well rested? 

Excited?

He had a good morning so far, it was about eight am and for once he was happy. Two cups of Starbucks and a shower had increased his mood greatly, almost as if he'd been drugged or something. This morning his mom had called him. 

That could've gone better. 

But other then that, it had been a nice start to the day. His day was already planned out; he'd go to some of his trauma patients then at nine thirty he'd check on Anna. If she was ok he'd go see Gabe, then start the cycle over again. Tyler couldn't tell if Sarah had been serious about him sleeping her tonight, but he was fine with it either way. 

After seeing three kids, Tyler had already decided that today was going to be great. They had all been getting better so fast, and one even told him that he was their favorite nurse. The only thing that could improve this day was if Anna and Gabe were happy. 

because if his patients were happy, Tyler was happy. 

he made his way down the hall, lights flickering above and he could swear thunder was booming outside. Tyler had always liked thunder, it was loud and it disturbed the silence. 

"Oh, hey Tyler!" he spun around to see Brendon carrying a stack of boxes, all labeled _needles._ There had to be at least two pounds worth of needles in the boxes, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He hated shots. 

"hey Brendon whats up?" 

"Nothing. usual shit around here, did you just get here?" 

"Yeah I did, staying the night too I think." 

Brendon's eyes widened in shock "Wow, that's dedication man, maybe you'll be promoted." 

"Yeah, maybe." Tyler shrugged with a smile. He could care less about being promoted. Sure, it'd be great, but it wasn't really about the title. 

"You've been doing a really good job Tyler, I still think you could use a break though." Brendon sounded concerned, and Tyler still didn't understand why he cared so much. Brendon was the one who assigned Tyler's hours, so why does he care so much now?

"Couldn't we all." Tyler said in response before waving goodbye and walking up to the ICU. 

He passed a few rooms, making faces at the kids inside, causing giggles to erupt behind closed doors. 

Soon he was outside room 108, and he opened the door without knocking, thinking nothing of it. 

The door made no noise, swinging open freely and without even a creak. Tyler walked in and dropped his backpack next to the sink, creating a small muffled sound. He tilted his head in confusion when he saw that Anna was sitting up in bed, facing the window on the other side of the room, her back to the door with the window open. Her hair was a wavy curtain of brown down her back, shoulder blades prominent lines through the thin material of her bodysuit. 

_"I can't do the talk, like the talk on the t.v, and I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be. I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you, I can't do anything 'cept be in love with you."_

He stood longer then he should have, leaving against the door awestruck. Her voice was amazing, shaky and nervous, but amazing. He took a hesitant step forward, and sang what he remembered from the next verse. 

"And all I do is miss you, and the way we used to be,  and all I do is keep the beat and bad company, all I do is kiss you, through the bars of Orion." Tyler sings softly, but loud enough for Anna to whip around in fear and shock. 

"What are you doing here?!" She shrieks, eyes widening and immediately crawling back under the covers. 

"J-just coming to check on you..." Tyler trails off, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. he really shouldn't have sang along. 

"Well you could've knocked!" she yells, eyebrows furrowing in anger. Tyler shakes in fear, fists clenching. 

"I...I'm sorry." Tyler chokes out, leaning back against the door frame because frankly he's about to fall over. 

"You should be!" She screams, eyes welling with tears and strands of hair falling into her face . 

"I'm... so sorry." Tyler cries, bumping into the door and stumbling out backwards, hyperventilating and looking around in panic. What is he supposed to do, she's furious. She's never going to talk to him again, she's- 

"T-Tyler?" 

He literally runs back into the room, tripping over his feet as he does so. "Yes?" 

"I didn't mean to be that rash, I'm sorry." She apologizes, easing into the sheets and looking up at him with huge green orbs.

"No you shouldn't apologize. I shouldn't have just burst in like that." Tyler says without breath, tip toeing over to the bed and sitting down. He fears that she may go silent again if he doesn't keep the conversation going.

"How are you feeling?" 

"ok." 

"Did you calm down last night?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine now." 

"I'm guessing the call last night helped?" Tyler asks and smiles when she blushes, secretly taking pride in how easily she could get flustered. 

"Yeah...it did." 

"We both got some sleep last night then." he shoots her a charming side smile.

"Y-you were looking really tired." she says, and Tyler nods knowingly. 

"I bet I did." he responds, washing his hands and grabbing bottles of medicine. 

Anna sits up in bed, carding fingers through mahogany curls and straightening her back, itching at the IV's once more. It hadn't even occurred to Tyler that a nasal cannula had been put in her nose alongside the IV's to give her oxygen. he hadn't thought she needed that. Tyler strides across the room and pulls at the window, opening it a crack so that the rain is more audible and as if on cue, there's a deafening strike of lightening, followed by a resounding boom. 

"Ohio storms..." Tyler says to himself before placing a number of purple pills next to her bed, which she takes and swallows with a glass of water. 

"So, have you thought about eating?" He asks and she shakes her head. He was worried about her immensely. He could barely sleep or even eat himself. She still had a small fever and Tyler was worried without food if it would even go away.

"I'm not hungry." 

"But you have to be." 

"I'm just not." 

Tyler sighs heavily, looking her up and down with a disapproving frown. 

"This feels weird." she sighs, pulling at the long purple tubes coming out of her nostrils. 

"I can take them out for a little while, but if the doctors thought you needed more oxygen I can't just take it out for hours on end." Tyler explains, scooching forward on the bed and tugging at the tubes, making her laugh slightly. 

"can you, please?" She asks and Tyler nods, reaching out and untangling them, taking them out from her nose. He staggers for a moment, staying perfectly still face to face with the girl. 

Something was drawing him towards her, he couldn't explain it and he suddenly couldn't control himself as he leaned forward and got closer and closer. His breathing stuttered and he tilted his head slightly parting his lips and giving her just enough time to quickly shoot back, recoiling away from him and pressing the back of her head into the pillows, looking up at him with eyes full of fear and confusion. Tyler immediately felt a wave of guilt wash over him and he started to panic, that hadn't been god how was he supposed to recover from that? 

"w-what are you d-doing?" she whispered, completely disoriented by his sudden impulse. 

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry Anna I didn't mean to-" he went to apologize but before he could her lips were on his. He could hear his own heart beat in his ears and couldn't feel anything except her touch. . 

Every nerve in his body was aflame, every bone turning to mush and all he could focus on right now was Anna's arms wrapping around his neck and the scratch of her cast on the back of his head. Fingers ran through his hair and he poured himself into her touch. His hands finally  found their way to cup her face, rough calloused palms rubbing against her smooth cheeks. He had never thought anything could feel this good. It hadn't been like this with his ex, and he couldn't tell if it was supposed to or not. 

After what felt like hours she pulled away suddenly looking up at him in a look that read nothing less then horror. 

"What? Oh no what did I do?" Tyler splutters in fear, watching as her face turns to complete terror, a distressed whimper spilling from her lips and she covers her face, pulling her knees up to her chest and sobbing loudly. Tyler's mouth falls open and her goes to touch her shoulder. The minute his fingers reached the skin she screamed, loud and shrill, making Tyler stumble backwards. 

"Oh my god you're screaming." was all he said, pacing inc circles, running frantic fingers through his hair. 

She continued to scream for another few seconds, finally dying down and just crying loudly. Tyler took a chance, not using common sense, and walked back over, crouching next to her and touching her wrist gingerly. 

"Don't t-touch me!" She cried, twisting her arm away and sobbing into her hands, tears mixing with coughs. 

"It's ok, don't cry please don't." That only made her start to shake. 

"T-Tyler...leave." 

"No Anna I'm not going to. You need help." he got closer, knowing this was a bad idea and he should just flee while he has the chance. 

"TYLER LEAVE!" She screamed, pushing him away with all her strength, which wasn't much. he stood, watching as her shake became more violent and the peaks of her LCD were getting higher and closer together, she was in a complete panic. 

"...Anna?" at the sound of her name she abruptly fainted, falling limp onto the bed with her limbs splayed out, the LCD now slowing down, the beeps quieting and becoming more spread out. 

"Oh my god...Sarah? SARAH!" Tyler yelled, racing through the hallway in a panic, searching frantically for the female nurse. He hadn't even realized that he left her alone in her room, in the dark, thunder blaring in the background. 

"SARAH?" he yelled again, pushing open doors in search of the girl he knew could help. 

"what? Who's there?" Her voice came from the end of the hall and Tyler literally gasped in relief, grabbing her arm and dragging her up the dimly lit hall. 

"What did you do Tyler?" She demands. 

"I...I didn't do anything. I just t-touched her and s-she started screaming...and now she's passed out and-"

"Tyler you know you can't do that, she gave all the signs of abuse." Sarah sighs, finally reaching the room and rushing in, pushing Tyler out into the hallway and slamming the door behind her. 

"But, Sarah..." Tyler whimpered at the closed door and sighed in frustration. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. He had let his character get the best of him and now she was terrified once again. She would never trust him. He'd never be able to sit and talk, to giver her baths, to watch and help her get better. He had screwed everything up. 

Slowly he pressed his back against the wall and sank down to the floor, pulling knees to his chest just as she had done and abruptly slammed his face into his knees, hissing at the pain. 

"Why do you have to be such an _idiot_  Tyler?" 

"Why did you have to ruin _everything?_ " 

"Why did you have to destroy the _one_ good thing in your pathetic life?" 

But she had led him on, this whole time she'd been so beautiful and the way she looked at him. She was to blame as well. 

What was he thinking? She hadn't done anything! All she had done was tried to kill herself and had gotten stuck with his sorry ass for a nurse. She hadn't done anything but gotten hurt. 

He _knew_ there was abuse, he _knew_ she didn't like physical contact, he _had thought_  that there wasn't any feeling for her. 

"Mr Joseph?" Sarah sounded _mad._

"Sarah I'm so sorry, I didn't want any of this to happen. I...I." 

"Save it Tyler. You brought this on yourself. Brendon had told me you couldn't handle this and now I know why." 

"Are you going to fire me?" 

"Of course not Tyler. And we aren't changing your schedule. You have to fix this yourself." 

"W-what?" 

"You heard me. Fix this or you aren't working with kids anymore, let alone women." 

"Sarah I'm so sorry." 

"Don't tell me that." 

She stalked away, looking over her shoulder once more to send Tyler a glare that made himself shiver. He spent five minutes hyperventilating on the floor before finding enough strength to pick himself up and walk into the room. 

Thunder rumbled in the distance, a reminder that this was a dangerous place to be. Sarah had turned of the lights, all except one across from her bed, sending an ominous glow over the small room. Rain continued to come down at a vicious rate, creating white noise Tyler was thoroughly grateful for.  His movements were ginger, he was timid, not making a sound as he crept to the chair next to her bed. It seemed to him that she had awaken, odd, because she had only fainted for about fifteen minutes at the most. 

She was completely still, shoulders hunched over as she sat with her knees pulled to her chest. Tears slipped down her face making it look as if she'd been out in the rain. 

".....the dice was loaded at the start, and I bet, that you exploded in my heart, and I forget, I forget....the movie song." Tyler started singing softly, slowly and quietly. 

"When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?" He finished in a whisper, clasping his hands in nervousness when her sobs receded and her tear streaked face rose. 

".....I....I want to be alone." Was all she said, wiping her face before it crumpled once again, and now Tyler was crying, unaware that it was happening. 

"Anna I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. It's all my fault and I-" 

"LEAVE!" She wails, sobbing into her palms with shaking shoulders, and Tyler could almost picture snow falling around her figure as she stood alone in the blizzard of her mind. 

He got up to exit, rinsing out of the chair on shaky feet and decided that he wasn't going to give up this easily. 

"I know what that means...go away." He said quietly, barely a whisper and she didn't look up,from the curtain of hair hiding her face. 

"I know that leave me alone means don't leave me alone."

She stayed silent, eyes watering and body still shivering. 

"I know you want to leave but friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes." Tyler said softly, taking a step towards the bed. 

".....I can't take this anymore. I don't want anymore. Please god, let me leave." She whispered into her palms, shaking violently. 

"Why are you so afraid of this?" Tyler asks and it obviously wasn't the right question because she looked at him with utter disgust. 

"....I'm afraid of _you._ " She whimpered, sniffling. 

"But I would never hurt you." He tries to argue, the only thing he knows willl get to her.

"That's not true....everyone always just takes what they want and leaves." She speaks slowly, so Tyler doesn't miss a word. 

He doesn't know what to say, only watches as he face falls once more and her sobs resume. 

"I didn't ask to stay alive, I just want to be gone." She weeps, continually wiping her face and sniveling. 

"I didn't ask for love and I didn't ask for pain." She continues, convulsing from the dry heaves. 

"I sure as hell never asked for _you._ " She spits, making Tyler bite his lip and fight back tears. 

"So I will say it again, I don't need _anyone_ , so will you just _leave me alone._ " 

Tyler nodded, tears finally finding their way out and he tripped over his feet, stumbling out of the room like and idiot before crashing into the hallway bathroom and vomiting in the sink. 

Hours pass and Tyler stays in the bathroom, curled next to a toilet and occasionally throwing up into it. He stays that way for hours before the one and only Brendon Urie walks in and crouches next to him. 

"What the _hell_ happened Tyler?" 

"I....I....I kissed her Brendon." Tyler whispers, covering his mouth with a shaky hand. 

He turned away so he wouldn't have to look at Brendon's face, which was an unsurprising mixture of guilt, surprise, and fury. 

"I don't know what to....why?" 

"I have no idea...she was so close and I pulled away but them her arms were around my neck and I-" 

"she kissed you back?!" 

"Well...yes." 

"Tyler...it isn't all your fault." Brendon tries to soothe him. 

"Yes it is. She hates me now and I know something happened to her to make her so scared and I brought it back to her and Brendon...you should've seen how scared she was." 

"Tyler you need to calm down. She's asleep, she has been for the past two hours. She's going to be alright." 

At this Tyler calmed, and after ten minutes of coaxing, he was back in the hallway, face pale and sickly as he walked past crying parents, nurses, and His own patients, who looked at him in worry. 

"You are going to drink this and stay here, have some rest and if she's still asleep later I'll let you see her for a couple minutes." Brendon said, leading Tyler into the room he slept in the previous day. 

He was handed a glass of water and was told to sleep, but he just couldn't. Anyone could understand why. 

Now his scrubs were too cold and the couch was too hard and he remembered there was a sweatshirt in his backpack. 

That he had left in Anna's room. 

It was his favorite, a black sweatshirt with the word 'Ohio' written in a spiked font. 

And he had left it in her room. 

Which he was now scared to return to, in fear if her yelling at him again. 

Tyler wandered into the front room, looking like a walking corpse. Brendon immediately saw him and hurried over, taking his arm and leading him back to the room. 

"You need to stay in here." 

"B-but my sweatshirt." 

"I'll get it for you." Brendon said, understanding where it was immedietly and paging someone on his walkie talkie, one that Tyler didn't have because he wasn't promoted yet. 

"I need someone to retrieve a sweatshirt from the backpack in room 108." Brendon spoke clearly and deeply. 

They waited a few seconds until another male voice came through the receiver. "A black one?" 

Brendon looks to the other for conformation before nodding, saying "yes" into the black machine. 

"That's gonna be a problem..." the voice trailed off, sounding nervous because no one says no to Brendon. 

"Why?" He snaps, making Tyler sit down because he'd been swaying back and forth. 

"Beacause 7873 is wearing it." 

Brendon's eyes grew comically large for a second, and he turned off the walkie talkie, patting Tyler's shoulder before exiting the room. 

"Brendon?" Tyler called, standing up and Brendon re appeared in the doorway. 

"If you leave that room you're fired Tyler, I mean it." 

Tyler opened and closed his mouth like a fish, settling on keeping it closed before sitting down and falling asleep sitting upright, entering a dreamless sleep on a cold hard couch. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit.


	6. Friday

Tyler awoke with a start, rocketing off the sofa and wobbling on unsteady feet. he felt his head, which was now searing with a painful migraine after feeling so much emotion at once. He took a few stumbling steps towards the window and looked out over the empty hallway. There was literally no one, a ghost town, and frankly it scared him a little bit.

Tentatively he walked around the room, trying to figure out what time it was and finding a watch in Brendon's coat pocket.

_3:26_

holy crap, he's been asleep for almost four hours.

_four hours_

_alot can happen in four hours._

Tyler took a chance, creeping out of the office and weaving through desks before scurrying up to the fourth floor, the children's ward. He was going to get Gabe. Gabe was the only one that would understand, the only one that would help.

Luckily, there seemed to be absolutely no one around, so Tyler was able to freely walk through the hallways without being skittish and unresponsive. he reached Gabe's room in no time, knowing well that he may be with another nurse since Tyler was "occupied" at the moment.

he was surprised though, to see Gabe sitting up playing another video game. At the sound of the door he looked up frantically, visibly relaxing when he saw it was Tyler.

"hey man." The boy said, pushing sandy locks out of his eyes.

"Hey Gabe." Tyler said softly, looking at his monitor and being thankful for what he sees.

"What's wrong?"

"huh?"

"you seem sad, your girl got you down?"

Tyler didn't understand why people kept calling her _his._

"Yeah, she does have me _down_ Gabe." Tyler said with noticeable edge in his voice.

"Why? What's wrong is she ok?"

"Yeah....well, no."

Gabe's eyes widened, and he looked up in pure worry. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, just something I did made things alot worse for her." Tyler tries to explain.

"well, what did you do?" Gabe asks accusingly and Tyler furrows his eyebrows.

"I did something that made her scared, brought her back to a bad place."

Gabe still doesn't understand, and it's apparent.

"She was abused, not by her parents but we have reasons to believe it was going on for quite some time, and bad stuff too."

"Does she have a boyfriend?" Gabe asks out of no where and Tyler isn't aware of the blush that spreads over his face.

"She...n-never mentioned anything like that." Tyler stumbles over his words and Gabe takes notice almost immediately

"Tyler, it was obviously her partner, I saw her bruises and they are _not_ from a car." Gabe protests and Tyler nods in affirmation.

"I know Gabe..."

"so what did you do that brought her back to that?" Gabe asks, already hinting at it.

Tyler hesitates, rubbing his face with a single palm and sitting down next to his bed. "Umm...well she has a nasal cannula in right now-"

"Ugh I hate those." Gabe interrupts and Tyler gives him a look.

"Yeah, she does too. So I leaned forward to take it out for her and...and I...."

Gabe's eyes turn to saucers, and his mouth almost hits the floor. "Tyler..." He asks in a warning tone "You didn't...kiss her, did you?"

Tyler's face is now cherry red, and burning as well to go with the color. "...I did."

"TYLER!" Gabe yells, throwing his hands up in exaggeration, "YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER!"

"I know, I know, and I'm still not sure but there was just this....force? I don't know, I felt the need to I guess." Tyler tries to defend himself.

"You broke code dude!" Gabe exclaims, still using hand gestures.

"You think I don't know that?" Tyler argues, rubbing his forehead and temples.

"This isn't good Tyler...she was abused and you assumed you could do that?"

"She kissed back Gabe!"

"what?"

"that's how kissing works dipshit!" Tyler yells and Gabe sighs dramatically.

"Then what happened?"

"She pulled back and started crying, and when I went to calm her she started screaming and passed out."

Gabe takes a deep breath, pensive with blooming thought. "...and you did what?"

"I got Sarah, then went to the bathroom and threw up." Tyler winces at his own words, not wanting to see the disappointment undoubtedly painted on Gabe's face.

"What is she doing now?"

"Sleeping." 

"Ok." Gabe nods.

"with my sweatshirt on." Tyler coughs, and Gabe's face flies up.

"WHAT?"

"Someone went to get it for me and she was wearing it." Tyler says quietly,  looking down at his dry and cracking palms, seeing the canyons of splitting skin.

"Well that's good, she doesn't hate you." Gabe says thoughtfully and Tyler cringes.

"But she does."

"No, she just needs time."

"But I can't get back into all this."

"what do you mean Tyler?"

"You know I have trouble...letting people go." Tyler struggles to find the rights words.

"I know you miss him, I know it's been hard for you, but maybe Anna can fix some of it." Gabe says with a sentimental smile, reaching for Tyler's hand and he willingly gives it. 

_you are just using her as a distraction, do you even realize how messed up that is?_

_using this girl to get over your own past, pathetic._

"You're right." Tyler mumbles, glancing up at the open window that's spilling clouded light into the room, rain still pouring outside.

"Tyler?"

"Mmhmm?"

"maybe you should...go home for a little bit."

"You know I can't do that Gabe." Tyler sighs, dragging fingers through knotted fluffy hair.

"but Sarah will understand." Gabe tries to persuade Tyler but he isn't budging.

"No Gabe, I can't just leave because I'm upset."

"Then when are you leaving?"

"I don't think I am. They want me to stay overnight in case...she...in case she has another panic attack." Tyler chokes out.

"Tyler this isn't healthy, look at yourself." Gabe whispers, as if this was a secret.

"I'm fine-"

"when was the last time you ate something Tyler? Be honest."

"....umm, Monday?" It was more of a question then a solid response.

"Do you know how long it's been since Monday Tyler? Do you even know what day of the week it is?"

His mouth falls open, but he closes it quickly. he _didn't know what day of the week it was._

"Thurs....Friday?" Tyler asks and Gabe nods, but disappointment is all over his face.

"It's been four days Tyler. _four._ " Gabe clarifies, looking him up and down.

"Okay fine. I'll eat something from the cafeteria." Tyler says defensively, holding his hands up in a way that tells him to stop badgering him.

"How long has it been since you talked to someone outside this hospital." Gabe questions and Tyler feels as if this is an interrogation.

"I talked to my mom, this morning?" Tyler says and Gabe's eyes darken.

"that couldn't have helped...shit man I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Tyler says with an obviously fake smile.

"it isn't alright Tyler, I honestly think you need some.... _help."_

help?

Last time Tyler got "help" it ended up in hundreds of wasted dollars and a broken nose.

"Gabe I don't need-"

"You're a mess Tyler, you can't get over your past and it's taking a toll on you. What do you think is gonna happen when I leave huh? When you have no one to talk to, no one to distract yourself with?"

_he was right_

_every single word_

_was one hundred percent true_

_it was as if he was a physic_

"You aren't a distraction Gabe."

"you and I both know I am." Gabe protests, extremely calm for the situation.

"Don't say that."

"But it's true Tyler."

Tyler realizes that it's useless to argue, Gabe is right.

"What do I d-do?" Tyler's voice cracks and he feels his face getting hot. He's going to cry.

"You need to help yourself Tyler." Gabe says, such adult words for such a young person.

Suddenly, Tyler is sliding to the floor, sitting on the cool hard tile and burying his face in his knees.

"I can't do this." he whispers, scaring Gabe straight and he gets out of bed, careful not to tangle his IV's as he sits on the floor next to Tyler.

"I can't watch you turn back into who you were. You were doing so good." Gabe says softly.

"....I'm gonna die." Tyler whispers so low that Gabe tenses, grabbing his arms. "

"No. Tyler don't say that, please don't, I can't hear you say things like that."

"what's there left? You're leaving in five days and Anna is scared of me and my family hates me and-"

"Tyler. There are things worth it. Zach, Jay and Maddie? They don't hate you. And I love you Tyler, you're the reason I'm ok."

He looks up, seeing Gabe's face, far too solem for a fifteen year old. Blue eyes boring into brown ones. Silently sending soothing messages.

"Thanks Gabe." is all Tyler says, further worrying the younger boy.

"You sure you're alright Ty?" Gabe asks and Tyler nods, wiping away tears he never realized were sliding down his face.

"Yeah I'm ok."

They sit in silence, just sitting side to side behind the large bed, listening to the soft patter of rain outside the window. Gabe's breaths small and soft, Tyler's long and dragging. He turns his head to look at the younger boy and sees that he has fallen asleep, head drooping on his shoulder. Tyler sighs fondly and gets to his feet, gently picking the boy up and placing him on the crumpled white sheets.

"good night Gabe." Tyler says softly, turning out the lights, and shutting the door with a soft click, walking down the hall and entering the empty and awaiting elevator. As soon as the double doors slide shut, he drops to the hard floor with a bang, sobbing silently as 'Beautiful Day' by U2 plays on the sound system above him.

"God, what am I doing?" Tyler cries, seeking help from a god that he really didn't believe in.

he didn't need God.

he didn't need anyone

" _You're out of luck, and the reason that you had to care, the traffic is stuck, and you're not moving anywhere."_

How fucking ironic.

"I don't know what to do." Tyler wails, curling into a tighter ball on the floor, watching through the glass as he descends down to the third floor.

"Show me what to do." he sobs, looking at his hands before slowly rising to his feet, teetering slightly trying to get balance. The doors open, and Tyler sniffs to clear out his runny nose.

" _You thought you'd found a friend, to take you out of this place, someone you could lend a hand-"_

The doors shut with a mechanical boom behind him, and he shivers walking down the musty hallway without his sweatshirt.

"This is alot harder then I thought it'd be." Tyler whispers to himself, slowly walking through the hall, slowly because he was scared of falling over.

"alot harder."

"Tyler?" he spun around, seeing Brendon standing in back of him, having just rounded the corner.

Tyler frantically wipes  his face, putting on probably the most false smile anyone's ever seen, and walks over. "hey."

"why are you out here? I told you to sleep."

"I slept for four hours Brendon." Tyler says coolly.

"Alright, why are you on this floor though?" Brendon questions, and by this time Tyler is tired of answering them.

"I just came back from seeing Gabriel."

"Oh ok."

"yeah..."

"so are you going to go home?" Brendon asks, taking a step closer to Tyler.

"Sarah told me to sleep over, in case...she has another panic attack."

"Hate to break it to you, but you'd probably make it worse." Brendon laughs dryly and Tyler doesn't take amusement in it.

"Yeah maybe." Tyler mumbles, switching his balance between his toes and his heels.

"Alright, so I'm not supposed to tell you this but you seem distraught as fuck so c'mon." Brendon beckons Tyler towards him and he follows him up the hall.

"Where are you taking me?"

"wait and see young'in." Brendon teases. grabbing his wrist and dragging him up the hall.

"Stop man."

"No c'mon we are going."

"But-"

"nope. Follow me."

Tyler sighed heavily, looking out the window and almost flinching at just how strong the rain was. It was an all out downpour, large droplets falling one after another against and on top of the hospital, creating a rhythmic pattern that was alarmingly soothing.

"Brendon I don't think I want to-"

"Just c'mon. You'll be glad you came." Brendon sends him a reassuring smile and Tyler begrudgingly follows down the back hall. They pass door after door, and Tyler can't help but wonder what could possibly have happened to all these people.

_112_

_111_

_110_

_109_

"go on," Brendon says, almost pushing Tyler into the door.

"b-but-"

"Tyler. You have to do this." Brendon encourages, opening the door for him and Tyler trips through the doorway, staggering into the room and looking around in fear. The window was open, with a towel lodged under it to stop the water from coming in. Tyler was confused as to why they didn't just shut the window but then he remembered how much she liked the sound of rain. he avoids looking at the bed, more importantly its occupant, and just stares at his feet while Brendon stands behind him, almost like a father figure standing above his son who knows he's done wrong. 

"Go on Tyler." Brendon encourages, pushing him forward gently. 

"I...can't." 

"Yes you can, it's alright." Brendon soothes, his voice deep and reassuring.

Drums pounded in Tyler's chest as his eyes slowly dragged up, locking on the sleeping girl just four feet from him. She was curled up in a fetal position, knees tucked into her chest, hair splayed out on the pillow like a halo. her arms were positioned cradling her head, hiding it from sight, almost as if she was trying to protect herself. he stood by like a shadow, nervously twisting the loose black bracelets wrapped around his left wrist. 

"She's been asleep for hours, way more then four." Brendon says quietly, walking over to her monitor and inspecting it with furrowed eyebrows. 

Tyler's face still hurt from crying, dried tears cracking in lines over his face. He stayed silent, watching the girl's back rise and fall in an irregular pattern. His sweatshirt was draped over her frame, oversized and swallowing her whole. her nose was pulled under the collar of the sweatshirt, hiding the bottom half of her face giving the intention that she had tried to somehow burrow in the article of clothing. 

Before he knew it he was out in the hallway, sitting against the wall and just plain staring at the window across from him. Angry rain splattered against the clear pane in rapid repetition, almost like someone typing really fast on a new keyboard. 

"You ok man?" Brendon asks, bending down next to him and Tyler nods, swallowing thickly and closing his eyes, letting the last stubborn tears fall. 

"It's almost six Tyler. The sun's going down. Are you sure you want to stay the night?" Brendon asks, face contorted in concern for the younger one. 

he nods insistently, and accepts Brendon's arm when he extends it and following him back to the offices, looking over his shoulder before continuing. 

 

_9:34pm_

Tyler has been sifting through records in the hospital basement for almost an two hours now. He was told to "clean out the old ones to make room for the new shit" 

Tyler has been casually biting his nails down to the nubs for almost two hours. 

Tyler has been singing 'Romeo and Juliet' on repeat for almost two hours. 

The rain has been pounding down on the hospital for way more then two hours. 

the fluorescent lights have been flickering on and off for the past two hours. 

"you and me babe...how about it?" Tyler sings before throwing another stack of mailla envelopes away. After deciding that this wasn't worth his time, Tyler climbed back up the seemingly endless stairs from the basement back up to the ground level floors. A sense of relief washed over Tyler when he looked out a window, knowing he wasn't underground anymore gave him a feeling of security, he was in a safe place. 

"Hey! G'night Tyler!" A female nurse called as she ran out of the front doors, umbrella in hand waving at Tyler. he smiled and waved before turning around and walking to Sarah's office. The girl that had waved to him was named Mackenzie, and she was recently engaged. Tyler was comforted in a way knowing that she was going home to a warm house, and people waiting for her. It was hard dating a nurse, many people simply couldn't deal with the hours and Tyler didn't blame them. 

That's why his happiness was always short lived. 

He gave up one night stands because he never had time to go out anymore. 

No one wanted to be married or even date someone that didn't have time for them. 

But Tyler understands. 

he wouldn't want to date himself either. 

his eyelids fluttered as he made his way through the dim hallway, lights still flickering from the storm outside. 

"Sarah?" He called, walking up to her office and knocking on the door. She appeared seconds later, with heavy eyes and messy hair. Different from how she normally looks during night shifts.

"...Oh...hey Tyler." She said, sounding almost asleep, like she didn't know who he was.

"So um, where am I supposed to sleep tonight?" He asked, teetering on the balls of his feet.

"Oh geez, umm...you can either take the couch in Brendon's room or you can stay at her bedside in the armchair." Sarah said groggily, wiping her eyes and smearing mascara.

"Oh alright, I think I'll just take the couch." Tyler said with a forced laugh, knowing that Sarah is most likely still annoyed with him. 

"Ok Tyler, I'm going to head out in like, ten minutes, so don't call me please. I know you can handle this and there will be other people here." She said, grabbing her coat and putting it on one arm at a time, still gathering her thoughts. 

"Goodnight." Tyler called out as she walked away, and received only a feeble wave over her shoulder. It takes a lot to tire Sarah, so today must have been really busy. 

He sighed and hummed to himself as he walked, wishing he had brought his ipod to work today. It was old and cheap, but he had some of his favorite playlists on it, some were over eight hours long. Knowing that the night was practically over, Tyler changed into sweatpants and an old t-shirt from high school when he got to Brendon's empty and dark office, turning on one desk lamp and sitting on the couch, checking his phone before going to sleep.

_1 missed call from unknown number: 10:12pm_

_1 text from unknown number: This is the ghost of Harambe._

Tyler laughed at the screen, face pulling into a loose smile that hung of his cheek. he simply replied with "Go to bed Gabe," before turning his phone off and laying on his back across the hard couch. it really wasn't that bad, on his way to the office he had stolen a blanket from one of the supply closets and it was actually quite warm. The light over the desk was left on, and Tyler closed his droopy eyes, letting sleep take him. 

But nothing could ever be that easy, no. 

God forbid Tyler gets a good amount of sleep. 

A small creak broke him out of his sleep, and he opened his eyes to see a faint ray of light coming from the door he had closed previously. His blankets were wrecked and his mouth way dry, so he immediately assumed it was close to twelve or one in the morning. 

Another creak, this one dragged out and Tyler's eyes focused on the door as it opened more, revealing the silhouette of a girl in a hospital gown. He stayed laying down, thinking that it's probably just a freaky dream and he'll just change it by thinking good thoughts. But the figure gingerly scoots forward, only the dim ray of light giving Tyler any clue to who this was. 

~~of course he already had an idea.~~

"...hello?" he whispered, and the figure drew back, obviously startled by his sudden noise. 

"do you need help going back to your room?" Tyler asked, falling into his role as soon as he noticed she was a patient, and he slowly sat up, puzzled when she held out her left arm, extending it as if she had something to give him. he opened his palm, making a small surprised noise when she dropped his bracelets into his hand, backing up a few steps after. 

"what?" he asked in shock, mot even realizing he hadn't been wearing them before he went to bed, he must've taken them off in Anna's room

_Anna's room._

_was this girl Anna?_

As to not scare her, Tyler slowly reached for the lamp string and pulled it, watching as the room was illuminated in a flash, and he saw what he was really dreading. 

Anna was standing in front of him, dressed in not a hospital gown but his sweatshirt, which was much too big for her, At the light her pupils dilated, going from pitch black to almost shockingly green in an instant. 

"what are you-" 

"you left these." she said quietly, making intense eye contact that almost made Tyler's head hurt. 

"How are you even walking?" he asked in a half gasp, half annoyed voice and it took both of the two by surprise. 

"...took a while." she admits, still only really standing on one foot and cracking an invisible smile. 

"You have to go back. C'mon..." Tyler sighed, getting up and immediately getting worked up over how he was going to help her. He couldn't touch her, but how was he supposed to take her all the way up a floor?

"why are you sleeping here?" She asked in a small voice, wrapping an arm around Tyler's shoulder making his eyes widen but she chooses to ignore it. 

"To make sure you don't have another panic attack." he says, being mindful of his steps as he walks her up the dark hallway and into the elevator. 

she doesn't say anything, only nods slowly and stares ahead, which is now at the mirrored wall of the elevator. Tyler watches as her eyes rake down her own body, then she looks away down to the floor with a disgusted expression. 

"Why did you walk all the way down there, you could've hurt yourself." Tyler sighs again, only now realizing that he was in his pajamas, and that she was only in his sweatshirt. Ever since she came she had never worn a hospital gown, sticking to her own clothes and apparently other people's. 

"I just wanted to put your bracelets back, I didn't know you'd be in there." 

"Still, you could've fallen." Tyler argues 

"someone would've found me." she mutters, looking down at her bare feet. 

Tyler stops himself from sighing once again, and only tuts in response. 

After another twenty seconds the elevator doors open, and Tyler is basically carrying her by the time they reach number 108. the room is almost pitch black, and her IV's were scattered on the floor like dead snakes. It must've hurt alot to pull those out. Tyler knows. 

"Alright, you are going to bed and staying that way." Tyler instructs, helping her into the lush bed, layers of creamy white sheets almost taunting him to just sleep already. 

"...ok." 

he gives her a tight lipped smile, noticing how her cheeks were tinged pink and how her eyes had dark bags under them. Her haired was down, spilling over her shoulders and back, tangled brown ripples and curly fly aways. he glanced down at her clothes, and the blush on her face deepens, so he decides not to even mention it. Tyler decides to not put back in her IV's, giving that she had walked downstairs without them, and it would take too long to put them back in at this point. 

"I'm gonna go- um..." he starts, gesturing towards the open door and nodding his head. 

"....ok..." she says, sounding almost disappointed that he doesn't want to stay, and that confuses Tyler more then anything. Why isn't she mad, why isn't she  _pissed_? 

More importantly why is she even touching him? She should be scared, inching away, she shouldn't have even wanted to return his things. 

Did she even remember what he did? 

"do you um...want me to stay or-" 

"yes."

I guess Tyler isn't sleeping for the second time today. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Saturday

"I didn't take you as someone to sleep on the job Tyler." Brendon chuckles as he enters the room, seeing the younger boy splayed out on the armchair located next to the hospital bed. 

"...wha? Where am I-" he looks around in panic, before shortly realizing that he's in the same place he was before he fell asleep. 

"Had fun last night?" Brendon asks in a hard to miss sarcastic tone and Tyler just groans weakly in response, glancing over at the girl who was staring at him and very much awake. 

"Not particularly." Tyler mumbles, getting up out of the chair and subtly stretching, a light blush forming on his cheeks as he realizes that he is still in his pajamas, and missing a pair of shoes. He could go walking around like this, it was a workplace. 

Brendon just shakes his head in amusement, looking Tyler up and down while doing so. "I'm gonna go, I'd suggest getting changed and going home for a little while." He says, giving a feeble wave goodbye over his shoulder as he exited the room. 

Tyler turns to the girl, hazel eyes watching him curiously, like she was a child studying an adult. He looks up at her hair, which was pulled into two small buns atop her head, with a train of chestnut waves down her back. 

"How do you even do that? With a broken arm too?" Tyler asks in awe, noticing that she had changed out of his sweatshirt as well. She had abandoned the clothes she was previously wearing and was back in the sea foam green billabong shirt she had worn her first day. 

"...I don't know, I just d-do. It doesn't hurt that bad, just makes things more complicated." She answers, tugging the sheets farther up her chest. 

Tyler nods to himself and puts around the room, checking her monitor over her shoulder and smiling at the steady heart rate and blood pressure. 

"I have a challenge for you today." He says cautiously, making sure his movements are steady and his distance is kept at bay. He didn't want to startle her, didn't want to ruin everything once again.

"...alright." She replies with a slightly raised eyebrow, looking him up and down just as Brendon had done. A small smirk graces her face and Tyler snickers 

"like my outfit?" 

"Yeah." 

"You know, if you insist on wearing your own clothes I should probably wash them, dont you think?" Tyler asks, and she just sighs. 

"I don't want them smelling like hospital." 

"They're going to after a couple months Anna." 

Her eyes widen, mouth falling open slightly. "What do you mean months?" 

Tyler cocks his head, sitting back in the chair. "Anna, you're not leaving for quite some time. Your injuries need to heal, physical therepy, and counseling." Tyler lists off her treatment and she scowls as if she didn't know that any of that would be happening. 

"Did you think you'd just be walking out of here in two weeks?" Tyler asks and she breaks the eye contact, looking at the open door. 

He gets up, closing it gently before walking back to his seat. "I thought you knew what your treatment was by now." 

"I had an idea," she sighs, switching her focus to the window, at the clear sky and the small puffy clouds rolling in. "I just didn't know it'd be _that_ long." 

"Well, you did get hit by a car." Tyler says, now playing with an array of tools on the other side of the room while Anna takes her hair out of the buns and the now released hair tumbles down her shoulders. 

"Look on the bright side, more time with me." Tyler says sarcastically, not realizing how cringe worthy the sentence was until after he said it.

"Jealously, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis..." she hums to no one in particular, and Tyler turns his back to her so she can't see him smile. 

_How did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

"Sorry, what was the challenge you were talking about?" She asks, and Tyler spins around on his heel. 

"I want you to eat something today." He says enthusiastically, and she makes a disgusted face. 

"Can you not ruin my day?" 

"C'mon, I'll make you something if you need me too." He says in a non convincing tone. Sometimes people were scared of just eating food brought to them, they had to know who was cooking it and what not. 

"Tyler, I just don't want to." His heat jumped when she said his name, it wa rare of them to actually use each other's titles formally, let alone emotionally. 

"But you kinda have to." He says with sad eyes. She didn't have an eating disorder, yet. Her weight was fine for her height and body structure, and he couldn't imagine what had drawn her to not want to eat. 

".....fine." She mutters, weaving her fingers in and out of each other. "I don't care who makes it, but I won't be able to eat a lot." She sounds almost as if she's apologizing for not wanting to eat. 

"It's alright, this is a start. You don't have any allergies do you?" 

She shakes her head, turning away from him and looking out the window again, the open panes sending tiny gusts of air in through the opening, causing her hair to blow around slightly. Thankfully, the rain had stopped and now there were clear blue skies, and birds could be heard from outside. 

"Would it be alright if I washed your clothes?" Tyler inquires, hoping he can achieve a lot today. Eating, clean clothes, vaccinations, maybe even some screenings if she said yes. 

Tyler is taken aback when her eyes grow dark, haze turning to dark brown, casting an ominous shadow across her cheekbones.

"...I, I....don't want to change in front of you." She whispers, barely audible.

"You don't have to. Here, I'll take the clothes you wore yesterday and you just hand me the one your wearing now. You can leave on whatever you feel is comfortable." Tyler says, turning around and grabbing the clothes she previously wore and folding them while she tentatively takes off her shirt and shorts, putting them on the end of her bed before pulling the covers up to her chin. Tyler didn't really understand. He'd bathed her twice and had seen her in practically her underwear numerous amounts of times, so why was she so weirded out now? 

"Alright, so I'll be back in like fifteen minutes with something for you to eat, stay here." He says, wigglingba warning finger at her before leaving the room, closing the door gently behind him, hearing a soft click before making his way downstairs, to Brendon's office where he'd change. 

Tyler sighed as he hurried down the stairwell, not taking the elevator because if he did there would be someone in there and he was still in his pajamas. Once he reached Brendon's office he quickly changed into his charcoal black scrubs and tousled his hair. His under eye bags had significantly gotten lighter, so that was good, it seemed his sleep schedule was finally settling down to a normal one.

He saw a female nurse in the hallway who had a giant basket of laundry, so he said hi and asked if he could put in Anna's  clothes with them. She said yes and Tyler thanked her before scurrying away with a small smile. Everyone here was so nice, and it made Tyler feel bad when he wasn't talkative with them. He wanted to be, it was just too hard for him sometimes. 

He made his way down another flight of stairs until he was at the cafeteria. It was an extremely large and airy room, with long rectangular windows reaching up to the ceiling. It was two stories, and a balcony that looked over the whole room, with a glass staircase that gave Tyler severe anxiety walking down. When he finally reached the bottom he exhaled heavily, standing still for a second and gathering his thoughts. 

"You're ok, this is safe." He whispered to himself, steadying his wobbly feet. 

Once he was composed he got some food for himself and Anna. 

Balancing a bowl of lucky charms and Reese's puffs, Tyler stumbled up the glass stairs and decided on the elevator, not wanting to take the risk of dropping the porcelain bowls filled with milk and cereal. He had also stuffed a few protein bars in his pocket for later, because Gabe was right, he hadn't eaten in a while. Humans could go without eating for three weeks, but Tyler didn't want to try and see how far he could go. For the past couple days he'd been living off of coffee and he'd be the first to say it wasn't exactly an appetizing lifetsyle. 

After pushing open Anna's door with his foot, he stumbled over to the beside table and put the bowl of lucky charms down, waltzing over to the armchair and sitting criss cross in it. 

"They're magically delicious." He says with a smile, bringing his own bowl up to his chin and eating the chocolately cereal in big spoonfuls, making it obvoius that he hasn't eaten in days. 

She just stared at him with a half amused expression before picking up her own bowl and mimicking his actions. The only difference was that her bites were a lot smaller, and she looked extremely uncomfortable while eating, as if she didn't know what she doing.  

"You know, when I was younger, my mom would get so mad because I would pick through the box and eat all the marshmallows and leave the cereal for the rest of the family." Tyler says with a laugh, looking into his bowl after speaking because a deep red had taken over his face for some weird reason. 

"didn't we all." She laughs a little, making a high chirping noise that almost matches the birds outside. Tyler was proud at how well she was eating, and she was most likely doing so well because he was eating with her. 

"So I was thinking..." he starts, and she look at him quizzically. 

"For once." She coughs lightly and Tyler barks out a laugh. 

"That maybe you could do some vaccinations today?" He asks and she shrugs. 

"Yeah sure." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I'm not scared or anything." She says, putting the bowl down and sitting up in bed, crossing her freckled arms over her light pink sports bra. 

"Oh, okay then, I'll do them in a little bit then I think I'm going to head home for the rest of the day and I'll be back tonight." Tyler says with a smile, finishing his breakfast and sitting back in the chair. 

"I like your other clothes better." She says suddenly, staring at her bowl. 

"What?" Tyler chuckles, folding hands in his lap. 

"You look so...intimidating in your black nurse clothes."'she tries to explain and Tyler tilts his head slightly. 

"I can see that." He says, trying to imagine where she's coming from. 

"I have another question for you." She says suddenly, glancing over at him to make sure he's listening.  

Tyler had completely forgotten about the little deal they made, he had only asked her one the second day she was admitted. 

"Oh alright." He agrees, straightening his shirt. 

"So....I just wanted to know.....what do you think of me?" 

Tyler is stumped. 

"What?" He asks, looking for clarification. 

"What do you think my story is?" She says, icy green eyes piercing into his murky brown ones. 

"Well...I think you had it real good, then real bad." He says in an uncertain tone. 

"Elaborate." 

"You had a nice childhood, suburbs, friends and shit....then someone came along and ruined it. You isolated yourself and soon your parents stopped trying. Your therapist thought you were getting better so she stopped your medication and you relapsed, further making things even more stressful for you. Then whoever ruined your life came back into the picture and took advantage of your vulnerability. Soon your friends stopped talking to you, you dropped out of school, and started living at other people's houses until you decided just to end it." 

There was a full five minutes of silence, Anna staring at Tyler with a look of amazement and sorrow, eyes clouding and clearing as she remembered things that Tyler couldn't even imagine. She opens her mouth, but no noise comes out. After trying again, she finally made a noise. 

"You're...spot on." She chokes out, titling her head and furrowing her eyebrows, a curtain of waves falling over her left eye. 

"It really wasn't that hard to figure out." Tyler says, looking down at his hands and she makes a small noise, like a scoff. 

"great." 

"Why are you being sarcastic." 

"Because I don't like people pitying me. It's annoying and it don't need it." 

"It's not pity it's me caring about you." 

She rolls her eyes, "oh yeah sure." 

"Stop being like that. Just because someone was cruel doesn't mean other people will be." Her face flickers up, eyes dark and body visibly tense. 

"And how do I know that?" 

"Because I'm trying to show you." Tyler replies, looking at her sentimentally, while she swallows hard and looks out the window. 

"....by kissing me?" 

Tyler looks at the ground, throat tighteing and mind starting to race. 

"I said I was sorry about that." 

"Doesn't change the fact that you did it." She says sourly, and Tyler can _hear_ the edge in her voice. Sharp, like a broken mirror. 

"It was a mistake-"

"I didn't say that." She says, cutting Tyler off and making his eyes widen slightly. 

_What?_

He swallows, "...ummm..." 

"you shouldn't have scared me like that." She says finally, with a small laugh. 

"B-but?" Tyler tries to speak but it seems his tongue has left his mouth. 

"You really shouldn't have done that, it really frightened me, but I'm half to blame." She says with a small shrug.

Tyler is still completely and utterly confused. What the he'll was happening right now? This was not supposed to be happening, it was just a Saturday morning at work, why was she saying this, _this was supposed to be just another day_.

"yeah....I-I guess so?" He trips over his words, still looking like an idiot no doubt. 

"Anyway...your turn." She says, dumping all these words and expectations onto Tyler and he stutters, trying to find a suitable question for her after she's trying to open to him for once. 

"Why don't you like to be touched?" He knows the answer, he just wants the whole story. He al,so knows that this question is extremely risky, and that it could downhill fast. 

"I think it's pretty obvious." She says, looking at him in a way that says 'shouldn't you know this already?' 

"I just wanted to know." He says, eyes drifting over to her neck and trying not to wince. 

"Did a good job didn't he?" She sighs heavily, eye watering slightly. "He was _convinced_  they weren't dark enough." A single tear runs down her face and Tyler just want to hold her and whisper sweet things into her ear until she falls asleep. 

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Tyler says softly, subtly scooting closer to her from his position in the chair. 

"Well you want to know so I guess I have to." She mumbles, making small noises in the back of her throat. 

"No-" 

"he was charming, I was a fool, that's where it starts. He was a year older, impressed me with his wit and sideways smiles, dark brown eyes like ink, I drowned in them. Dark brown hair to match his eyes, short but still enough to flop over his face. Tan and fit, he was a swimmer." She starts, and Tyler closes his eyes and tries to stop himself from doing something he shouldn't. 

"Long lanky arms and legs, I've always been taller then the boys but he was taller." She laughs, a twisted, almost forced noise that makes Tyler wince. But she's not looking at him, her gaze is back to the window, watching as another puffy white cloud drifts by. 

"At first we were just friends. Sang in the high school chill choir and did the musical. Then after school ended we continued to talk, even though we never actually did anything together besides text." She takes a shaky breath, closing her eyes as she continues. 

"I knew he had a crush in a girl his age, tall and thin, with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. I would be lying if I said I was never jealous, and he knew it too. She was out of his league no doubt, and he knew it as well. I had just a glimmer of hope that he'd realize that what he wanted was right there. He liked similar music, said sweet things and helped me through rough nights. When summer started, things, things got-" she stops, and starts to shake, small pear shaped tears trailing down her face and collecting on her chin before falling into the sheets below. 

"He started asking for favors, al the while keeping up with the sweet talk, we'd text for hours. By this time I was at my beach house, a couple states over, but he convinced me to come back home for a few weeks, stay with my friend Jess." Her lip trembles and Tyler doesn't think she'll be able to finish the story. But despite her tears, her words were clear and full. 

"So I told my parents that, and then a day later I was at his house. His parents had gone to their lake cabin and he stayed behind. I hadn't thought it would be that bad, I mean, we were friends right? He cared about me right?" 

Tyler looks at the ground, avoiding her emotionless face as she drones on. 

"I'm going to skip the explicit part, but long story short I came back to Jess's house a few weeks later covered in bruises and blood. She had taken me in, but a few days later said that she didn't like who I was turning into, and that she couldn't be my friend anymore. It killed me. I had no where to go, we'd been friends since grade school. So I did what I had to, which was go back home. My parents didn't know, because I simply didn't say anything. My bruises went away sooner then later and a week later summer was over and it was time to return back to school." She says, wiping her face and looking up at Tyler.

"That's just the beginning, do you really want to know the rest?" She asks, voicing cracking at the last word.

"If you can't we can finish it another day, you'd ont have to." He says, getting up and walking closer. "Can I?"

Her eyes take over his frame for a minute, and Tyler can see her battling her mind, decimating wherther to trust him or not. She finally nods after a minute, and Tyler sits against the footboard of her bed.  

"What was his name?" He asks, and she chokes out a short sob before composing herself through shuddering breathes and she looks up, eyes still filled with tears. 

"Grant." 

Tyler goes still, looking into her eyes as she closes them, laying back into the sheets and crying. 

"It never stopped. Once I thought he was gone he came back for more. I couldn't escape, it hurt so bad but he couldn't seem to get enough. I'd beg, I'd plead, I'd shout for help sometimes but he always found a way to shut me up. One night he'd hit me so hard in the chest I broke a rib. So in response I ran out his front door, my backpack slung over my shoulder and I ran, I ran so far, until I reached the highway." 

Tyler breathes in, and she starts shaking more violently, but she's determined to finish the story it's apparent. 

"I walked along the side, and stopped to catch my breath. In the distance I saw a car going pretty fast. I thought it'd be fast enough, turns out I was wrong and I woke up here." 

Tyler scoots forward, and slowly puts his arm against her cheek as gently as he can. She stiffens, eyes still closed but doesn't move. He rubs his thumb up and down her cheek, picking up tears as he goes. 

"I'm sorry Anna, I really am." 

"Everyone's fucking sorry." She chokes out in a deep throaty voice. 

"But I care, that's the difference. I...I.....I love you Anna." 

Her eyes fly open, and she immediately pulls away from his touch. 

"I had loved him too. I really did. And I thought he loved me too but you know what? That's not the reality, he beat me, cheated me, took everything I had which wasn't much mind you." She argues. 

"But Anna, I won't do that, I really care about you and I really do love-" 

"No. You can't love me. You are my nurse and I am only here for a few more months. This is _nothing._  This is me needing someone to talk to and distract myself from just pulling these fucking cords out and slitting my throat with that scalpel. Alright? So we aren't doing _anything_ that has to do with _love,_ I can't do it and I won't." 

As much as Tyler wanted to argue with her, he was doing the same thing, throwing himself on this poor girl to keep him from the things that were tearing him apart. He did love her, that half is true, but the kind of love he wanted from her was something she wasn't prepared to share just yet. They were both using each other to get away from their pasts. Two very different pasts but the same amount of pain was associated with the two. 

She holds her hands out in front of her to defend herself, looking away from Tyler as his face falls and he stops the hot tears from falling down his face. 

"Ok. I....I understand." He says, standing up abruptly and walking to the door, opening it and stepping into the doorway, looking over his shoulder to see her looking up at him with tears hazel eyes, confused and melancholy. 

"T-Tyler-"

"I'll be back at eight thrity, if you need anyone, call for Sarah and she'll help you." He says, speaking loudly and clearer then he's ever spoke in his entire life. 

She says nothing, just looking down at her lap as her bottom lip trembles like a scared kitten. 

"I'm sorry." Tyler repeats before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him, gently, waiting for the soft click before collapsing to the floor in heaving sobs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Saturday Evening

_11:36am_

When Tyler got home he sulked 

and sulked 

and sulked. 

Sarah had told him not to come back for a very long time, later then normally and it bugged him. He had slept at the hospital last night and was kicked out this morning. Honestly his schedule was more confusing then a Rubix cube. It changed daily, and he never knew how much sleep he'd get or what his pay would be. 

he wandered around his cramped apartment, picking up miscellaneous items as he went. Sigh after sigh escaped his lips as he shuffled around, squeezing between the too large couch crammed against the coffee table he never used. The blinds were pulled as usual, and the tingling smell of male musk and faint hospital smell lingered throughout the front room. Hints of something sour and deodorant were also very much apparent in the house's smell, but Tyler rarely noticed he's grown so accustomed to it.  His house was technically only three rooms, with an anything but spacious front room, occupied by a large dark leather couch, an old crackling t.v, a kitchenette that was never used, and large rectangular windows that were always kept shut. 

The back room was a lot smaller, a queen sized bed adorned with dark navy sheets, one pillow, and a single dresser that held almost no clothes. One of the only things Tyler had that he actually held dear was his ukulele. It was the only thing he had taken from home before he left, and he kept it tuned and clean. A single bathroom was attached to his bedroom, and that had a small bathtub shower combo, a toilet, and a tiny porcelain sink. 

There was no guest room, for the sole reason of there never being any guests. 

It wasn't much, his home, but to him it was a house of gold. 

The only thing missing was someone to share it with. 

But that wasn't to come until much later. 

Tyler paced his little home with unsteady feet, wishing he was in the country, running up a hill covered in grass and flowers. he wished he was in space, watching the veins of the earth glow below him. he wished he was far away, where nothing was important and he couldn't worry about anything if it wasn't worth it. He needed to calm down. 

Sooner or later things were going to blow over

Sooner would be better then later. 

he decided that he needed to figure this out. Now. It was either  obsess over this  _girl_ or live his life the way it's meant to be all along. 

Tyler sits at his kitchen island, head buried in his hands and breathing shallow. He's been at home for no less then an hour and he wants to go back 

~~god, he wants to go back~~

But the thing is he doesn't. He never wants to go back. He wants to stay at home and wallow in his self pity, he wants to talk to himself for hours on end and he wants to forget those eyes. 

Those hazel green eyes. 

Hazel green eyes that bore into him and wavy brown hair with little blonde highlights that he wanted to run his fingers through. Fragile body that had been broken so many times, the body he wanted to hold and shush her and coo and tell her everything would be alright since he was there to protect her. 

But Tyler wasn't good at protecting 

~~That's why he's alone~~

~~That's why he can't get attached again~~

~~That's why this is so painful~~

It was cliche, he knew. He also knew that she needed help, just not his. Because it would be too hard for him now. 

Would it be so hard? 

He could do this. 

It wouldn't be so hard.

Tyler stands, running a hand through his hair and jumping up and down suddenly. He could do this. He was going to snap out of it.

Before he knew what was happening he was humming to himself, cooking  _breakfast_ and sitting down at the t.v after  _opening the blinds_. 

_Opening the blinds._

He had been living like a bachelor/vampire, he knew it wasn't healthy but there hadn't been anyone to tell him to pull himself together. 

This was out of character, and he knew it too. There was just some sort of unidentifiable force pulling him to act. the t.v was flicked on and and episode of  _MTV Cribs_  resumed from when he was watching it maybe two weeks ago. Tyler sat and ate his ham and cheese omelet with a small smile and and a lump in his throat. 

After five minutes of watching Wiz Kalifa walk through his enormous house Tyler turned the channel to HBO, thoroughly unimpressed with the movies playing. 

After eating he hopped in the shower, sighing as the hot pellets of water hit his back and he leaned against the cool tile wall for support. 

"I don't know why, I just feel I'm better off, stayin in the same room, I was born in." He sang to himself as he shampooed his hair, sweet smelling strawberry filling the small hot shower and Tyler smiled wider. 

"I look outside, see a whole world, better off, without me in it, tryin to transform it." he continued his high tune, swaying his hips under the spray of water and closing his eyes as he washed his face. 

"You, are outta my mind, oh, you, aren't seeing my side, oh, you waste all of this time tryin to get to me, but you, are outta my mind." 

_1:34pm_

Tyler sat on his newly made bed, looking around the room and staring at the clutter on the ground and deciding on a limb to pick it up and throw it all away. A can of red bull, a broken comb, an old pair of black converse that definitely didn't fit anymore. he took the trash bag into the front room and put it beside the door, planning to throw it out before he left. 

"Heard you say, not today." He belted, striding over to the windows and throwing the curtains open, lifting the glass panes with a start, and throwing himself out of it. He looked around the side of the apartment building, wind whipping his hair around and he smiled, feet kicking around behind him in the apartment. Outside it smelled of sweet grass and and burning wood, even though it was still outside of the city. Something dangerous, burning gasoline? he didn't care, closing his eyes and breathing in all the scents of the city, hearing the traffic below him and the constant thunder of planes above. People yelling on the streets and bird'f wings as they flew by, in too much of a hurry to stop and say hi. 

"torn the curtains out, windows open now make a sound." he screamed, fifty feet above ground and laughing to himself, and for once  **not** wishing there was someone there to share his joy with. 

This was a new Tyler. This time he was going to get enough sleep, eat healthy, get better at what he did, and maybe even make some friends. A new leaf. 

This time he was going to take care of himself, and change his life for the good. 

This time he'll be different. 

Everything'll be different. 

It has to be. 

There isn't any other option. 

A plane flew over the building, booms of the engine blasting as if a bomb was being dropped as it flew over his head, dark inky brown eyes following the jet as it passes through the clouds. Tyler had never been in a plane, he had never flown before, except when he was a baby, but that didn't count. 

"Heard your voice, there's no choice, torn the curtains down windows open now make a noise!" His balanced faltered as he hung out the window, his voice shaking nervously before he pulled himself back inside and sat down against the wall under the window, laughing softly and racking his brains for something he didn't know he needed.

_3:58pm_

By now Tyler was getting restless, pacing his house once more in his black Ohio hoodie and a pair of simple black skinny jeans. His hair was combed and the bags under his eyes were hardly noticeable. he felt like a newer model, Tyler 2.0, and this version of him was willing to give it all away to be different. He was willing to do anything to change the way he used to be. 

So naturally, he was now standing outside a tattoo parlor. 

This was a good idea, and it's not like he was a virgin.

For tattoos that is. 

He had two on his chest, one on his shoulder, and more along his arm. 

But this time he wanted to do something a little different. 

a ding resounded in his ears as he entered the dark shop, obscene art covering the walls almost like graffiti, and large muscular men and women wandered throughout the store, all adorned with colorful sleeves and other things like piercings, gauges, and dark clothes. 

"hey, little Joseph!" A man boomed from the back and Tyler embarrassingly enough, jumped a little bit. 

"What's up man?" Tyler asked with a grin as the man came forward, enveloping Tyler in a bone crushing hug. 

"nothin as usual, you still nursing?" 

"Yeah." Tyler responded uncertainly, pulling himself away from the man and rubbing his arm nervously.

"So, whatya here for?" The burly man asked, pulling Tyler farther into the parlor and into a leather chair.

"I wanted an addition to my wrist, just something simple." Tyler says, looking down at his arm.

"alright, so what are these for?" The man asks, gesturing to the black bracelets on his wrist.

"Oh, they're just for covering some shit up, they're always slipping off though." Tyler responds. 

"How bout I make it so they'll never fall off?" the heavily tattooed man asks with a raised eyebrow, a hint of a smile on his lips. 

Tyler was dumbstruck for a moment, not understanding what he meant. "What?" 

"I'll tattoo them on, three black lines." 

"Oh, yeah that'd be sick!" Tyler exclaims, rubbing his wrist with an anxious smile. 

"Ok, stay here and I'll get the trace and ink." The man says, walking away and leaving Tyler to think about his decision. 

It was a good idea, simple yet held some sort of meaning. 

To him at least. 

It'd be a lot easier and they'd never fall off, which was kinda the point. 

Twenty five minutes later Tyler was walking out with a pained smile and a saran wrapped wrist. 

"this was a good idea..." He says to himself as he climbs back into his car, the familiar scent of cheap leather and fast food filling his nose. 

He liked it, it was simple, understated, a conversation starter. 

Not that he wanted to have conversations. 

It had been a while since he felt pain like that, a needle piercing his skin and filling his body with dark, black ink. He never got tired of the feeling, it was exhilarating. pin he hadn't felt in a long time returning to him and honestly it was refreshing. Not that he liked being in pain, just that it was a comforting feeling from his younger years that brought him extreme comfort and alarm at the same time. He was a confusing person, but who isn't? 

_4:26pm_

Home again, Tyler slipped back into that happy go luck attitude he had acquired that morning. he saw no wrong in his day, and was excited to go to work for the sole reason of being paid and helping others. 

His shift wouldn't start until six, which is how his schedule would be for now on. Six to five with some delayed overtime pay if needed, and that was alright with him. Eleven hours of work and thirteen hours of home sounded fine to him, he'd have eight hours to sleep and five more for eating and doing other things. It was perfect for him because he really didn't have any other things in his way. Didn't have a spouse to spend time with, didn't have family gatherings to attend to, and lord knows he doesn't have any friends that have been missing him lately. 

Tyler made himself a sandwich and packed another for later, and sat down at his kitchen counter once more and looked through his phone. 

_one message from Sarah at 4:00pm_

_one message from unknown number at 2:28pm_

_missed call from unknown number at 2:25pm_

he knew that Gabe was the unknown number, and that whatever he was calling about wasn't important, but he looked at the text anyway. 

_Unknown number: Chillin with ur girl lmao_

Tyler raised an eyebrow, but huffed and rolled his eyes anyway. Who cares? They're just hanging out it's fine. 

he still didn't understand why people kept calling her  _his girl_

She's not his and doesn't want to be. 

But anyway, a message from Sarah.

_Sarah: Hey, you coming in @ 6 right?_

he opened the keyboard and started typing right away. 

_Tyler: Yeah, you need me any earlier?_

he really didn't want to go in any earlier, but it's not like he had any priorities here besides eating his sandwich, catching up on  _How I Met Your Mother,_ and taking a second shower for no reason whatsoever. 

he took a bite of his sandwich, all of the stuff slipping out of the back, and his phone dinged almost immediately. 

_Sarah: No, 6 is fine. See you then._

_Tyler: Alright_

_Sarah: You ok?_

_Tyler: Yeah, what makes you say that?_

_Sarah: You just have seemed off lately_

_Tyler: Off?_

_Sarah: Just a little out of line_

_Tyler: Sarah I'm fine now, you don't have to worry about anything anymore._

_Sarah: You sure?_

_Tyler: Yep. I did some soul searching or shit like that, I'm fine, really._

_Sarah: You usually don't mean that_

_Tyler: Just trust me ok? See you @ 6._

_Sarah: drive safely._

Tyler shut off his phone and sighed heavily. he sat still for a moment, just staring at the plain white fridge buzzing in front of him before abruptly standing up, knocking the stool over, and striding into the bathroom for a second shower. 

_5:32pm_

Keys jingled in his palm as he started the car, a sweet purring escaping his brother's acura as he started the engine and pulled out of the towering parking garage and drove down the levels, turning on the radio and bobbing his head along to Ed Sheeren. 

he weaved through the city, passing building after building, each seemingly bigger then the next. He passed all walks of life, men in wigs, women in ball gowns, and the classy as ever street hookers. A few waved and blew kisses, making Tyler blush and look straight ahead at the traffic in front of him. 

_White lips, pale face, breathing in the snowflakes, burnt lungs, sour taste..._

It was a sad song, an older one, but Tyler liked the message it told. 

Soon he was outside the hospital, the huge building much nicer and more modern then most of the building surrounding it. A lot of taxes went into building this hospital, and it really paid off. BMW's lined the parking lot and Tyler sighed in distaste and rubbed his wrist out of habit. Besides, it stung. 

_it's too cold outside...for angels to fly._

The car door was semi slammed behind him, and he grabbed his backpack that had an extra pair of clothes, his phone, and food inside. It surprised him at the weight of the bag and suddenly realized he's never been this prepared for work before. 

New leaf, a new leaf. 

This was going to be different, he thought as he walked in the front doors, Waving hello at a cute brunette girl with long straight hair dressed in light green scrubs at the front desk. 

"Hey." He said smoothly, walking over and looking for his schedule. 

"Hey Tyler." she chirped, bouncing on her heels with a bright smile. 

"So, what's been going on?" He asks, finding his papers and tucking them under his arm. 

"Nothing really. I mean, there was a girl in labor earlier so that was exciting. Other then that...another trauma patient came in, and some visitors." She taps her grey nails on the counter in rhythmic clacks while looking at him with dark brown eyes. 

"That's good, how have you been?" he makes small talk, realizing her forgot her name but reads the tag on her shirt.  _Caitlin._

"Good, Spring breaks coming so you know what that means." She winks playfully and laughs 

"Right, it is." Tyler says, trying to match her tone but sounding mildly bored. 

"I'm gonna be in Florida, how about you?" 

"Stayin here, ya know, family stuff." He lied, picking at his nails. 

"Well that'll be fun, anyway my break is coming up, so I'll see you later?" she asks, and Tyler nods with a smile. 

"Yeah, yeah sounds good." 

Walking up the hallway Tyler pumped his fist into the air, being overly cliche and he knew it too. 

 

"wow...that was easier then I thought..." He mumbles to himself, Impressed at how well he handled his anxiety. 

Soon he was outside Sarah's door, knocking softly and waiting a couple seconds before she opened it and smiled. 

"Tyler!" she said happily, patting his shoulder and taking a step back. "You actually don't look like shit today!" 

"Wow, thanks that's nice to know." Tyler joked, ruffling his hair. 

"I'm kidding, you just look nice today." 

"Yeah because I had a shower and a decent amount of sleep." 

"Alright then, where are you headed first?" 

"Gabriel...then Grace...then I don't really know." Tyler shrugged, looking at his feet. 

"ok then, have a good day, come get me if something's wrong." Sarah reminded him, nodding curtly before closing the door in his face. Tyler laughed to himself and walked away, heading up to the children's ward to see Gabe. 

"Aw hey dude!" Gabe greeted him the minute he walked in the room. Tyler smiled and walked over, clipboard in hand. 

"what's up?" 

"Nothin, you never responded to my text though." Gabe pouted. 

"Sorry, I was driving." Tyler lied, looking at the monitor next to his bed and humming in content. After checking his vitals Tyler disconnected an IV that he didn't need anymore, then changed his water bag. 

"So...you look nice." 

"what?" Tyler let out a hoot of laughter at Gabe's comment. 

"You don't look like trash today." He shrugs and puts down his phone. 

"Thanks rat." Tyler chuckles, typing a few thing on the monitor and straightening up the room. 

"So...Anna's nice." Gabe says after a few minutes of silence and Tyler nods, preoccupied with his machinery. 

"Yeah, she's a sweet girl." he says.

"She said she wished you didn't leave her this morning." Gabe says in a sad voice that doesn't effect Tyler's cheery mood one bit. 

"Yeah, but my shift was over and I wanted to go home. Don't worry I'm gonna see her later." Tyler responds, smile still prominent. 

"Okay..." Gabe's voice sounded confused, looking Tyler up and down with a raised eyebrow. "What's up with you?" 

Tyler turns around "What do you mean? I'm fine." 

"You seem odd. Not yourself." 

"Nope. Just really happy." 

"that's odd, you're acting way too happy." 

"What's wrong with being happy? I thought you wanted me to be happy everyone wants me to be happy and now that I am people think it's weird." Tyler argues, borderline annoyed at the boy. 

"Sorry Tyler, I just haven't ever seen you like this." 

"Like what? All I did was change attitude and now you're all bugged out." Tyler says defensively, crossing his arms and sitting down. 

"I didn't say it was bad it's juts different, I'm glad you're coming around man." 

Tyler sighs, cracking another small smile "I'm over it." 

"Over what?" 

"ya know...being sad. Liking Anna." Tyler says casually and Gabe suddenly looks upset

"You don't like her anymore?" 

"Well I do, I told her I loved her and she told me that she couldn't ever do that so I went home and figured things out." Gabe's eyes comically widen and his mouth drops open making Tyler laugh softly

"You love her?"

"well, yeah I do." Tyler sighs, carding fingers through his hair. 

"I'm sorry she doesn't feel the same Tyler, that really sucks." 

"Yeah, it does." he says sadly. "But it's alright, it'll be fine." 

"carry on dude." Gabe smiles, eyes twinkling like a crystal blue ocean. His cheeks pull up, freckles bunching together. 

"May your past be the sound, of your feet upon the ground, carry on." Tyler hums and Gabe sways his head.

"You're really good at singing Tyler. Remember when you played your mini guitar?"

"You mean my uke?" Tyler chuckles, shoulders shaking.

"Yeah, whatever that adorable instrument was." 

Tyler laughed, deep in his throat and fell back in the chair wiping his eyes. 

"I'll serenade you on your last day, how about that?" 

"Catch me outside how bout dat?" Gabe asked in a hood accent, further making Tyler lose it. 

"alright, that's enough you need sleep Gabriel...I'll be back later." Tyler said, voice still shaking with laughter before he turned off the lights and closed the door slowly.

"Hey, w-wait!" Gabe called, making Tyler roll his eyes.

"Yeah?" 

"She was shaking, like, super cold. Bring her blankets when you go." Gabe said out of the blue, and Tyler cocked his head

"who?" 

"Anna dipshit." Gabe rolled his eyes and Tyler flipped him off. 

"Later doofus." 

"alright ukulele boy." 

Tyler shut the door once more before walking up the hall and shaking his head slightly. Gabe was such a good kid, he never deserved any of the things that happened to him. And he was so alone, never got visitors, and Tyler being the highlight of his day was pretty sad to begin with. 

After stopping to talk to Brendon in the hallway for a brief minute or five,Tyler walked up to the higher level, striding past the polished wooden doors with some sort of newfound determination he'd never felt before. 

_111_

_110_

_109_

_108_

_..._

Tyler's pace slowed as he got closer to a room he was most familiar with. There was an odd air about the hall and as he took a hesitant step forward the door opened. he expected it to be Sarah or another irrelevant nurse he didn't know the name of, but no. It wasn't. It was a man much taller then Tyler, with dark brown hair slightly curled at the nape of his neck. His arms and legs were long and lanky, skin a dark color similar to Tyler's. His posture was odd, slightly hunched making him look shorter then he was. He was wearing a dark green t-shirt, and long dark blue jeans, a pair of all black converse as well. Tyler cocked his head slightly. This wasn't a nurse. 

He didn't know who this was, but he made a questionable sound in the back of his throat that startled the guy, causing him to turn around. 

_Dark, inky brown eyes._

_So, this was Grant._

 

Tyler stood in muted shock, watching as the guy analyzed him with lowered eyes, but not unfriendly. Tyler opened his mouth to say something, maybe 'go away' or 'who are you' but instead of taking a stand he just stood there in the middle of the hallway with his mouth hanging open. 

The man rolled his shoulders and strode past Tyler, brushing his frame slightly and Tyler's mind froze in that second.

_You can't let him get away_

_But you don't care anymore_

_You know what he did, he can't just walk away_

_But you don't care anymore. You aren't attached._

_Are you seriously gonna let him walk out those doors without anything?_

_You don't care, you aren't going to get involved with any of this, she doesn't want you to._

_Tyler, you have to_

_But I can't_

_You can_

_I don't care_

_I don't think that's true_

_it is_

_you're lying to yourself_

_no I'm not_

_you are_

_I don't love her anymore_

_You know that's a lie_

_It's not_

_bullshit_

_You've been lying to yourself all day, not healthy_

_This isn't fair_

_It's not fair to her_

_That's why I'm staying out of it_

_But do you really want to_

_Yes_

_No_

_Why can't you just let me get over it?_

_Because you still care_

_..._

_get him_

_no_

_yes_

_But Anna-_

_But Anna nothing. get that asshole_

_She won't like it_

_It needs to be done_

_no_

_You know you still love her and she's just going to have to live with that. Get him Tyler._

_I'm not going to hurt him._

_He hurt her_

_exactly. She won't like violence. As much as I want to..._

_That's true._

_Do it, you love her. That's what love is._

 

In a flash Tyler turns around, slamming the man into the wall. He tries to grab at his hands but Tyler's grip is stronger then he imagined. 

"Dude, hey. what the fuck?" The guy yells, trying to shove Tyler away but he won't budge. 

"Your a pathetic piece of shit you know that? A fucking scumbag." Tyler snarls, face to face with him. 

"You don't even know man." The guy says, trying to look convincing and Tyler almost laughs. 

"I know enough to know that you deserve a whole lot then an ICU visit pal." Tyler sneers in a malicious way, holding his shirt tight against the wall. 

"Oh sure, like she didn't beg for it, the pathetic whore." The man spits, then mumbles the last part and Tyler sees red.

bright fucking red 

A sickening crack fills the hall and blood pours from the tall man's nose, and he yowls in pain. Tyler takes a step back and brings his fist behind him for another punch, landing it under his chin sending his head snapping up with a low grunt. 

"You do  _not_ call her that, you hear me? Never again." 

"Oh please," The man stumbles over his words, grabbing at his nose. "She's playing the innocent card. I've seen it before. Just you wait." 

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. "

"And you do? It's only been what? Five days? You don't even know her last name." he retaliates, further lowering Tyler's self confidence

"That doesn't matter. i know what I need to know." Tyler stutters embarrassingly and the man grabs his nose once more. 

"shit...look man, you may be making dreamy eyes at her, but she ain't who she says she is, just a useless thot." 

Tyler's face contorts into a twisted look of rage, and suddenly he's punching the guy repeatedly, so much so that he falls to the ground. Tyler stands above, stomping on his chest and spitting on him. 

"I'd suggest you go down to the second floor for stitches." He snarls, turning around before looking over his shoulder.

"and when you leave I never want to see your face again."

Tyler's head snapped up, and he spun around to see the guy almost five steps away from him. He blinked once, twice, and his fists no longer hurt, there was no blood on the ground, and the man across from him was completely fine.

It took him a second to realize that he had made it all up. 

But it was an impressively detailed day dream 

"Hey!" he yelled, and the guy turned over his shoulder sending a dangerously charming smile his way. 

It sickened him. 

but her story was becoming more and more believable.

"yeah?" his voice was deep, but almost juvenile at the same time, he couldn't really describe how it sounded. It definitely didn't suit his build. 

Tyler shakes his head for a split second, fighting himself before he did something  **bad.**

"You aren't even worth it." he spat, giving the man a dirty glare before stomping up the hall, wrenching open the girl's door and shutting it without looking back. 

 

_(Now's the time I'd play Sweet Talk by the Killers, if you don't, boo on you)_

 

Tyler turned from where he was facing the door, being met with a heart wrenching sight. Anna was curled in her fetal position on the bed, dried tear tracks dripping down her face like melted wax. Her eyes were swollen and red, dark tiring splotches under them that gave the impression she hadn't slept in a long time. There was a new bruise placed upon her right cheekbone, and her lip quivered in fear as he drew closer.

he hadn't gotten here in time

her had been blind to the situation. 

"Oh my god...." Tyler breathes, holding his face in his palms tying not to panic. "W-what happened?" 

"What the fuck do you think!" She cried, eyes pulling together in anger. You could smell the distress that heavily coated the room, her panicking and Tyler joining in. 

"how...w-what?"

"He  _fucking_ knew that I went to the highway, I'd been there before, it was only a matter of time before I was hit." She grumbled, tears spilling from her sockets and soaking her skin. Her hands were limp at her sides, body as defeated as her mind.

"That...that was-" 

"The infamous  _Grant,_ Yes." Her voiced was laced with sarcasm, a dangerous mixture between horrific realization and absolute grief. 

She buried her face in her palms, shoulders shaking violently and sobs loud enough for the outside to hear. It was terrible. 

"Anna, I so sorry, I was going to get him but-" 

" _Get him?_ What do you mean?!" She cried, folding in on herself in some sort of defensive mechanism. 

"Well I-I was gonna fucking beat his ass Anna what do you think?" Tyler argued without really needing to. 

"Then you'd be just like him!" 

Tyler sat on the floor, burying his face in his hands. So much for a new leaf, he was back at square one. 

"I'm so sorry." he repeats, voice muffled by his hands

"for what?" She asks, voice shaky and it sounded so much like when they first met. She wasn't stuttering yet, but Tyler assumed she wasn't too far away. 

"For kissing you, making all this unneeded trouble, for falling in love that you can't return, for leaving you all alone so he could come in and just- and just-" Tyler broke down, breath stuttering before deciding on just full on wails. 

"Tyler this isn't any of your goddamn fault! I was a naive little slut looking for love and I got pain. All I got was pain and my life turned to shit! I deserved all of it and we all know it!" She borderline screams. Trained ears would be able to identify that her lungs were straining against bruised ribs and it hurt immensely to scream. Grant had come in and made her second guess everything. She had never talked about herself like this, none the less called herself a slut. It just further proved her point of him being manipulative and abusive. 

"Anna, don't say that..." Tyler needed to get her to stop raising her voice.

"Why shouldn't I? Everyone knows it's true! I wanted to be loved so fucking bad I sold myself off to some douche bag that ruined my life! And you know what? That's why I can't do this with you, I can't do that to myself again." She sniffs, eyes hooded and dangerous, looking a lot scarier then ever before. 

"Anna...I'd never do that to you, you know me well enough." It sounds stupid, it really does. 

"I know you wouldn't Tyler...I just...I can't let myself fall in love again, I just can't. I want to, I want to _so_ fucking bad, but I just don't know what to do." 

"But would it really be that bad?" Tyler asks with a hopeful undertone, tears still swimming in his eyes as he's close to a breakdown. 

"because I just can't! I can't endure anymore pain, I can't live in fear again!  We have to stop whatever _this_ is now becasue you know what? I'm falling in love with you too!" 

Tyler's mouth falls open, and she buries her face in her palms, bed shaking with heavy sobs.

".....I'm falling in love again and I'm just so fucking scared alright? I can't let myself get hurt again." 

Tyler removed his hands, looking up at her as she fell back onto the bed, chest heaving up and down and LCD going absolutely wild. Mountainous peaks formed seconds after another, beeping becoming increasingly faster and more worrisome. 

 "You...you l-love me t-too?" he asked, tears pricking his eyes. 

"Of course I do. The first night I felt something but I pushed it away. I need help Tyler. I'm not looking for sweet talk I'm just looking for time." 

Tyler sighs horribly, because it's far too shaky and it just sounds like another sob. 

"I need a release from these troubles of mine." She whispers, roughly wiping a hand over her face and revealing a number of dark purple fingerprint shaped bruises along her wrist. 

This was more then what he had thought. She was really in trouble. She really needed help. This wasn't going to go away on it's own, even Tyler knew that. This was more then he bargained for. 

He scoots forward, gently reaching out and taking her cheek in his palm, cupping her face lovingly and smiling through the absolute pain shooting through his mind and body.

"Anna...look at me." Tyler whispers, and she doesn't, keeping her hooded hazel eyes focused on sheets below. 

"Eyes. I need to see them." Tyler commands, it sounds dominant, making her gaze flicker towards his face, bouncing around and locking on everything but his eyes.

"Eyes." He repreats in a stern but gentle tone and the hazel orbs slowly find their way to look at his. Her pupils are small, and slanted, almost like a cat. 

"Listen to me." He says, gently moving his thumb up and down her bruised cheek and her eyes start to water again. He knows she hates him touching her but it might just help. 

"Can you listen to me?" He asks in a calm voice even though he's anything but. 

She nods, eyes welling and body shaking against his in the thin hospital gown. 

"Don't be afraid to fall in love again." 

She falls completely silent, not even her stuttered breathing could be heard. She made no noise, and she stayed like that for a long time. He removes his hand and a single tear drips down her cheek and gathers on her chin, falling onto the pillow with an almost inaudible patter. 

Another long spur of silence followed his sentence, Tyler sitting with his back against the chair looking anywhere but The crying girl in front of him. As if on cue there was a flash about the room, and the slow steady rhythm of rain started to hit the window in patters. 

".....tyler?" she asked, voice tiny and so out of character for her. 

"...yeah." 

"Could....c-could you maybe...sit with m-me?" There it was. 

"Y-yeah. Sure." He nodded, a tight smile and sat in the chair next to her. 

"N-no. Like...on the b-bed." Her eyes lowered, already darkened and hiding the bright hazel green that brought Tyler back to life. 

"Oh...ok." He nodded again and carefully climbed on the bed, white sheets crumpled under him as he laid stiff and nervous. 

On the other hand, Anna's breathing slowed, the LCD finally calming down as well, and she curled next to him, even going as far to rest her head against his chest as she began to cry softly once again. 

This was unprofessional

But so was falling in love with your patient. 

"....It's so c-cold in here, I'm so alone and the machines hiss and it's so, so scary in here at night. I haven't slept in three two days." She whispered as if it were a secret, voice racked with a mixture of tears, tiredness, and horror. 

Tyler stayed silent, letting her speak before he interrupted. 

"It's alright, I'm here now you're gonna be alright. Tyler's here and he's got you." he coos, trying to keep both of them calm for the time being. 

"I was trying t-to read, and all the sudden my d-door opened and I thought i-it  was you but I looked up and I saw...those...those  _eyes_ and I froze. I started crying before he even said anything and it was so  _p-pathetic."_ she spat, burying her face in his neck. Shivers crept up his spine at the sudden wet skin colliding with the dry sensitive skin on his neck. 

"He grabbed me and shook me and i-it hurt so  _b-bad._ I thought he'd never leave. he said t-that when I was out of here he was c-coming to g-get me and bring me _home_ whether I wanted to or not. He, he hurt me." She whispers, pulling back and revealing eyes large in terror. Tyler could hear the fear and panic in her voice. It hurt him so much he couldn't explain it. He couldn't hear it anymore. 

"Anna." he tilted her head up, and she sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her sleeve. 

"You listen to me. I am not going to let him anywhere near you ever again. You hear me?  _Never._ You are going to be safe and I swear to whatever fucking god there is you are going to be happy, whether you're alone or you're with someone you love." Tyler said, believing every word he said and she did too. 

"You know I'll keep you safe. Even after all these things I've done." he says like an apology, and she lifts her face from where it traveled to his chest, blinking twice in slow motion. 

"this is why I loved you." she hums, pressing her ear back over his chest and keeping silent as if to hear his heart. 

_this is why I loved you_

Tyler's hear skips a beat, and a tear falls out of his eye, not by coincidence, all for a different reason he'd never be able to explain. 

He divides to distract himself. 

"I love you like the stars above I'll love you till I die, there's a place for us you know the movie song, when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?" Tyler whispered into her hair and she stifles a sob. His goal right now was to keep her calm enough to sleep, sleep so she'll forget about everything. 

She looks up at him, eyes shiny and so fucking sad. Hair spilled over her face in tangled brown waves, framing her face like curtains and the rest of her features darkened in contrast, wet eyelashes casting shadows on her bruised cheekbones. 

"You promise?" 

"I promise." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Monday

 

_8:03 am_

_Twelve hours._

_Tyler stayed with her for twelve hours._

He stayed by her side where she needed him, keeping her safe and warm as she slept. 

_She really was beautiful._

He looked down, eyes foggy from sleep and hair a tangled mess. She lay in a contorted position under the covers, her legs twisted so that she was on her side but not enough so that her cast was in the way. Her face way resting on his chest, falling up and down with his breathing. It was truly a magical sight. 

 _Having someone that needed him_. 

Tyler breathed out, laying his head back on the pillow and just now feeling her arms wrapped around his waist, clinging to him like some sort of koala or something. 

The lights in the room were off, but you could see through the blinds that it was daytime, or at least late morning. He stiffened, this was his job, and he can't just stay here

_But his job is also to stay here._

He figured if she was sleeping, things would be easier. He could leave, check in, and come right back. 

It wouldn’t be that difficult

Or maybe it would. 

He sighed, eyes still heavy from a ten hour nap and he looked at her more sincere this time. Hair spilled over the side of her face and pillow, covering the bruises and all the bad things in the world. 

Why would someone hurt this?

Why would someone destroy something so pure?

So fragile? 

Just looking for someone that wanted them

Someone to love them

_"Love is hard Ty, it's a difficult thing..."_

He squeezed his eyes shut, keeping tears behind the lids and pushing memories out of his brain. 

Her breathing stuttered, the peaks of the LCD increasing slightly and she gripped his shirt, knuckles turning white and Tyler's eyes widened. 

"...n-no..." 

Was that just his head? 

A figment of his imagination? 

"...p-please n-no..." 

He relaxed his body, slowly moving his arms so that they were around her, brushing hair out of her face and cradling her limp, sleep ridden frame. 

He didn't know what to do

He was supposed to know what to do

He was trained for this type of stuff

So why didn't he know what to do?

Why couldn’t he handle this? 

"....shhh...I-it's okay...I have you." he stumbled over his words, cringing at it but trying to sound comforting.

 She gripped him tighter, tears streaming down her face from closed eyes and Tyler didn't know how much more crying she could do. 

After a moment she fell limp once again, fists unclenching in defeat and juts laying still, eyes relaxed and calm. 

".....shhh." He cooed, happy that he had helped her through a nightmare, which he learned she had often. He understood why she was so terrified of sleeping alone in the room, it was dark and the machines hissed and beeped and there were always the patter of footsteps in the hallway. 

Slowly, he tried to scoot away, inching away from her after thinking she was out for good this time. 

He thought wrong. 

As he tried to mover her face, she whimpered and fisted his shirt once again. 

She had never made such a defeated noise before

It broke his heart. 

"...please Ty, don't leave me..." she whispered, burying her face in the divot between his pectoral muscles

_"Ty....don't leave me..."_

 

Tyler made a choked noise in the back of his throat, reaching out to stroke her hair and he cried. 

He just cried. 

She was too much

This is why he wanted her so much

She brought his memories back to life

If he had her, he'd have  _him_ back as well. 

But anyone would know that's just not possible. 

"I won't leave you..." he mumbled, breathing in the overwhelmingly sweet scent of strawberry shampoo, and the sharp, clean soapy smell of her body in general. 

_"I have to though..."_

_"Please, Tyler, I can't do this alone."_

_"You have to."_

_"Tyler-"_

_"I can't do this anymore."_

_"You can't do this to me"_

_"I'm sorry"_

_"You aren't"_

_"Don’t say that."_

_"But I love-"_

_"Don't make this harder."_

_"Ty don't-"_

_"Not the nickname please. You're making this harder."_

_"Columbus is so far Tyler."_

_"It's all I can do."_

_"....I understand."_

_"J-"_

_"Just promise you won't forget me."_

_"Never, I'd never."_

_"You know...we used to talk about a wedding."_

_"Please stop."_

_"You promised me a future Ty."_

_"You know I can't stay here."_

_"Take me with you."_

_"I...I just can't."_

_"....ok."_

Mutters broke Tyler out of his daydream, not even feeling the tears dripping down his face in thick lines, throat feeling closed off and choked. It was painful, something he hasn't felt in years

Many years

He had never missed it

And now it was back. 

Tyler didn’t know if he could handle it. 

Said mutters were coming from below him, where Anna had gone back to whimpering in her sleep, as if she sensed his unhappiness. 

He wiped his face with a free hand, his eyes stinging and swollen. She couldn’t wake up and see him like this, it's pathetic. She can't be any more unnerved then she already is. 

This is about Anna, not Tyler. 

For once something in his life isn't about himself. 

But it hadn’t always been that way. 

"I got you, I have you its ok." He whispered, petting the bruised side of her face with ginger touches and she pressed her face against his palm. 

"...do you really?" she mumbled, eyes still fluttering and body still limp. 

Great, even she was questioning him. 

"I don't know if I can do this again." Tyler sighs, still laying on his back with her draped over him. 

"I don't know if I can fall in love again." 

"I don't want to fall away." 

He closed his eyes, only to have them fly open again as he heard a door being opened on the other side of the room. His face shot up to see Brendon walking in, a shit eating grin taking over his face. 

"Having fun?' 

"Shut up dude." Tyler scoffed, letting his head fall back and Brendon strides over and leans over the bed. 

"You stayed here all night?" 

"What time is it?" 

"Eight thirty." 

"Then yes." Tyler responded, closing his eyes. 

"What's got her all worked up?" Brendon asks, completely oblivious but otherwise not upset that Tyler's in the same bed with a patient. 

" _Someone_ let her ex-boyfriend in the ward last night and he threatened her." Tyler spat, frowning as he opened his eyes again. 

"Oh my god what?" Brendon gasps, covering his mouth. 

"Yeah, it's alright though he won't be coming back." 

"Ok, I'm going to need a report later on what he looks like, so we can identify him." 

"Ok." 

"So he did  _this?_ " Brendon gestures to the girl with a laying swing of his arm and Tyler nods. 

"Yeah. All of it. The bruises, broken rib. The car did her arm and leg and bruised ribs, but he caused her facial wounds and the one broken rib."

Brendon winces and looks away. "Filthy bastard."

Tyler just sighs, looking up at the ceiling and feeling Anna's breath on his neck.

"Did him...um..." Brendon coughs, turning around and gesturing at the girl once again.

"Did he what?"

"Are there...any  _other_  examples of abuse?" Brendon finally spits out, looking both flustered and frightened at the same time. 

"What do you mean?" Tyler crumples up his face, pushing more wavy brown locks off his chest.

"Like... _sexual stuff_." Brendon whispers, lowering his voice as if someone else were to hear. 

Tyler's face dropped. He had never even checked for anything like that. Granted, he had never had an oppouritounity to neither her permission so he had never thought to do so.

"Oh god....I have no idea." He whispers, eyes widening up at Brendon in worry and fear.

"Tyler, she could have a disease." Brendon says seriously, walking over to the cabinet on the far side of the room. "C'mon, I'm going to do her bloodwork again."

Tyler bites his lip, cracking the already dry skin. "Ok."

He sits up slowly, pulling her body along with him and Brendon helps to flip her over, so she is positioned between his legs with her back to his chest, head resting on his shoulder.

"Is she out?" Brendon asks, tying a mint green rubber band around her upper arm on the not broken arm and Tyler shrugs.

"She’s been talking to me in her sleep but that's about it. I don't know how heavy a sleeper she is."

Brendon nods in understanding, grabbing a needle and positioning it over the largest vein in her arm. Tyler looks away as it goes in, and he hears a sharp inhale from her. Brendon stays still for a moment before removing the thin needle and putting it in a case. A dot of blood appears in her arm and Tyler wipes is off, leaning his face forward and putting it on her shoulder. Her breathing his heavy, and the LCD speeds up. 

"That's normal, she'll be fine Tyler." Brendon says, comforting the younger boy. "Hey, ya know, Gabe is awake, you want me to bring him down here?" 

"Yeah sure." Tyler smiles slightly at the thought of it. 

Like a family. 

"I'm going to go now...want me to bring you coffee?"  He asks, and Tyler nods, eyes suddenly heavy once more and he leans back, bringing her with him.

"Kay. I'll be back in like, ten minutes." Brendon smiles, exiting the room quietly. 

Tyler cries. 

He can't protect her. Grant is bigger than him and Tyler doesn't even know how smart he is. He doesn't even know if he raped her for god's sake. 

Tyler cries, holding her and keeping his shuddering breaths from waking her up. 

Because this isn't about him. 

This is about Anna. 

 

Ten minutes later, as promised, the door opens and Gabe bounces in, carrying a coffee for Tyler. Brendon waves before closing the door again and Gabe puts the coffee on the bedside table and sits in the armchair. 

"Hey Tyler." he beams, stifling his laughter looking at the two.

"Don't even say anything." Tyler chuckles, rolling his eyes. 

"She's pretty isn't she?" Gabe asks innocently, leaning forward to get a better look. 

"Yeah, beautiful." 

"Those bruises are pretty ugly Tyler. They're all yellow and green." 

Tyler grimaces, getting a better look at her face and arms. They were really bad, worse than he had first thought. They’d clear up in a bit though. 

"It's ok. They'll go away soon." 

Gabe nods, rocking back and forth in the chair. 

"Did you guys kiss again?" he blurts, watching as Tyler blushes and laughs, shoulders shaking. 

"No Gabe..." He says in a warning but playful tone and Gabe laughs. 

"Does she love you?" 

"You know what, I think she does." Tyler smiles fondly at the sleeping girl. He nuzzles his face against her hair and her lips upturn. 

"You're gross." Gabe laughs and Tyler scowls. 

"Shut up freckle face." 

"She's one too dippy." Gabe corrects him and he's indeed right. Bruises covered freckles. They hid the sunshine. 

"You're right you're right." Tyler says with a smile.

Gabe crosses his arms and drapes himself along the arm of the chair "she's been sleeping for a while now hasn't she?" 

Tyler nods, taking a sip of coffee and putting it back. 

"Tyler...." He says in a weird tone Tyler can't pinpoint. 

"What?" he asks with a puzzled expression. 

"You do realize she's only in a bra right?" Gabe giggles, Tyler's cheeks heating up and his chest tightens. 

"So?" 

"Nothing nothing." Gabe snickers, brushing sandy hair out of his face and smiling wide. 

"I'm your wingman Tyler. You need any tips come to me." 

Tyler laughs loudly, body shaking and he smiles. "Yeah sure cause I really need a fifteen year old's love advice." 

His laughs had caused Anna to start to move around, her face contorting into a pained expression and her eyes slowly open. 

"..Oh shit..." Gabe whispers, eyes wide. 

Anna makes a weird face, somewhere between confused and mad, then looks around the room, over Gabe and doesn't say anything until she sees hands on either side of her. 

In a moment she surges forward, pulling sheets around her and scrambling to the other side of the bed, a heel digging into Tyler's stomach as she tries to escape. 

Tyler lets out a wheezing, pained noise as the air was promptly knocked out of him. He doubles over, clutching his stomach and looking up to see her huddled at the footboard of the bed, sheets pulled around her as if she was naked or something. 

"Ow shit." He grunts, Gabe quietly laughing in the background. 

"I'm s-sorry." Anna mutters, looking down with wide eyes and a heaving chest. 

"No’s fine." Tyler wheezed, laughing slightly once he caught his breath. 

"No I’m like, really sorry." She gasps out, looking his up and down. 

"Trust me, its fine sweetheart." Tyler blushes madly when he finishes the sentence. 

He hasn't called anyone that in a  _long time_. 

"WHAT THE HELLL?" Gabe cackles, rolling around in the oversized chair when he sees Anna look away, blushing madly. 

"Shut up!" Tyler commands, snapping his fingers at him and Anna flinches. 

"I'm sorry, that kind of just slipped-" 

"Trust me, its fine sweetheart." she laughs, cheeks still bright pink and almost hiding the bruises. 

Tyler laughs, climbing off the bed and taking his coffee cup. "You can go sit back down in your spot." He says, eyes bright. 

She does, slowly moving over to her original position and sitting back, sighing at the warmth. 

"Are you going to leave me now?" she asks and Tyler stares at the wall for a minute mulling things over in his head. 

"Not if you don't want me to." He says, and Gabe makes a little 'Oooo' noise in the background.   
'I'll kick you out." Tyler warns

"You wouldn't, you love me too much." The boy smiles, looking up at Tyler in admiration.

"We'll see how much I love you." He chuckles, glancing at Anna and she flashes him a smile.

"Anyway, I can stay for a little while longer but not for the whole day." Tyler warns, wagging a warning finger. 

She breathes out, looking around the room and the rain dotting her windows. The sky was turning grey, an oncoming storm. 

It had been nasty all week. 

But rainbows come after rain right? 

Right? 

She beckons Tyler over with her finger and he crouches by her beside. "I can't really stay her alone." she whispers through cupped palms, looking him in the eyes. 

"Okay. I'll stay here and talk." he says with a reassuring smile. Gabe looks at the two of them for a moment before sighing dramatically and walking to the door. 

"don't mind me, I'll be going." he says, thoroughly annoyed at the fact Tyler and Anna are still looking at each other like they've never seen anyone so amazing.

"I said, I'LL BE GOING YOU LOVEBIRDS!" he yells, stomping his foot and laughing when Tyler spins around and chases him out the door.

 "sorry about that." Tyler laughs nervously when he comes back into the room, sitting in the chair Gabe previuosly occupied. 

"No it's fine, he's a kid." She laughs, blush receding. 

"He's really not, just a jerk." Tyler corrects her. 

"You two seem to be very close, coming to visit you out of nowhere." She sighs, looking impressed.

"Brendon brought him in. He was in here earlier." Tyler explains "He took your blood to do some tests." 

"I already gave blood." She sulks, "that's why my arm hurts." 

"Yeah it was for something different." Tyler coughs, suddenly becoming nervous. 

"what?" She asks and Tyler starts to wonder if lying is an option. Maybe if he talked in medical lingo she'd just give it up. 

"Umm..." 

"Tyler, what?" 

"Brendon wanted to do some tests for disease." She makes a face at this. 

"what kind of diseases?" 

"It doesn't matter." 

"bullshit, It's my body!" She yells and Tyler looks at his feet. 

"He wants to make sure you don't have any STD's." Tyler mutters and she turns bright red. 

"Well I don't think I do." She says after a long pause. 

"You don't  _think,_ that's why he wanted to make sure." 

She crosses her arms. "When am I getting my clothes back?" 

"I could get them now." Tyler suggests.

"could you?" she asks, a slight edge in her voice that wasn't there before. 

He had offended her. 

Great. 

"Hey, I'm sorry. It wasn't my idea but I had never checked for anything before and-" 

"and what? You assume I just some street whore?" She yells, throwing her arms up and wincing in pain. 

"Shhh, calm down. I did'nt say that. I did'nt imply that." Tyler says defensively. 

She scowls, eyebrows pulling forward. "Well I don't appriciate you doing tests on me while I sleep. And you  _know_ I don't like being touched."  

"Didn't seem like that when you slept all over me last night." he frowns and she huffs, sending hair flying off her forehead. 

"Don't you hold that against me!" 

"I wasn't trying to!" 

"You so were!" 

"Stop yelling at me!" 

"I deserve to!" 

Tyler stops yelling, slumping down in the chair and rubbing his temples. 

"Tyler-" She starts but her cuts her off. 

"I'm gonna go in the hallway for a few seconds, I'll be back." 

He leaves the room, closing the door as gently as possible before sliding to the ground. He gathered his thoughts. Yelling at her wasn't the right thing to do. He should've stayed calm and let her have whatever way she wanted with him.

deep breath in

long breath out. 

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples before walking back in the room, seeing her burrowed under the covers, eyes drooping slightly. 

"Are you tired?" He asks, her eyes snapping open and looking at him strangely. 

"Yeah...I am. I can't stop.... sleeping." She yawns between the words, making Tyler smile to himself.

"okay. Well, that's a little odd but just let me check something...does your head hurt?" He looks over his shoulder from where he was retrieving a flashlight.

"Mhmm. Since I got here but it wasn't so bad at first."

Tyler frowns, taking the flashlight between his fingers and holding it in front of her face.

"look at me sweets." He hums and she complies. But not without snorting. 

A click and brightness fills the room, and Tyler watches as her left pupil dilates. 

The right does not. 

It stays as if there were no light. 

It was creepy

it was also kinda cool. 

"So...you _do have a_ headache?" He asks for confirmation and she nods. 

"That would explain a lot." He mutters, now remembering her mood swings, occasional confusion, agitation, nightmares form pain. 

"What? What is it?" She asks in a panicked tone, eyes widening but pupils staying two different sizes. 

"Well, you have a concussion." 

"Oh...ok." She says surprisingly calm and Tyler raises an eyebrow. 

"Ok?" 

"They're treatable. I just need rest and pain meds right?" She looks up at him with honey and lily pad green eyes and he has to admit, she's right.

That's all she needed.

But she wasn't just hit in the head with a basketball

she was hit by a car

and though he didn't want to think about it

this could be a lot more serious then he thought.

it probably wasnt that bad, he was just being paranoid. 

But what if he wasn't?

oh god, please don't let it get to that

Tyler can't go through that again. 

"You still need me? I'm gonna go see Gabe I ordered him more game cartridges." Tyler mumbles to himself, checking his phone to see if the postmate actually delivered what he needed. 

"What?" She asks with a puzzled expression, eyebrow raising. 

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I buy him things when he's good." Tyler smiles, laughing slightly and puffing out his chest. 

"Wow." She rolls her eyes with a playful scoff. 

"What, you want something too?" Tyler teases, half serious. 

"I'm afraid I haven't been that good." She chuckles 

"I'll still get you something, as long as it's not a Porsche." He jokes and she giggles, wincing slightly at her chest but Tyler chooses to ignore it for now and make a mental note for later. 

"Chill Tyler, you don't have to shower me with gifts." She holds up her hands in opposition. 

"Oh but I do," He retorts, brushing hair off his forehead "C'mon, whatever you want." 

She thinks for a minute, looking around the room before locking eyes with Tyler. 

"Glow sticks." 

"Glow sticks?" He asks, thoroughly confused. 

"That's what I said." 

"But why?" 

"Its dark in here at night, I like the way they glow, anything wrong with that?" She asks, hazel eyes challenging him. 

"Not at all. I just thought you'd want something different." He shrugs. 

"Well I'm going to have a mental breakdown since the radio broke but other then that I'm fine." She closes her eyes and sits back. 

"Wait what?" 

"The radio. It's broken. I haven't heard music in days." She sighs. Tyler couldn't go a day without hearing music, he couldn't imagine two or even three.

"Oh...I have an iPod at home if you wanna borrow it?"

She nods, cheeks pulling up and flushing petal pink. "I'd like that."

"Guess I gotta brush up my playlists." He laughs, cleaning the surfaces in her room and feeling self conscious as she watches him silently. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Tyler turns around. 

"Um....sure." 

"Do you treat me differently?" She asks and Tyler swallows. 

"Well, yes. But I treat everyone of my patients a different way." 

She nods, looking at her chipping fingernails. "Ok." 

"Do you want to be treated differently?" He asks and she blushes a deep red. 

"N-no! I was just wondering..." she trails off, and turns her face away from him. 

"It's alright to wonder, you don't have to be embarrassed." Tyler says wisely, shutting the cabinet doors and sitting on the edge of her bed, keeping his distance. 

"What do you wonder about then?" 

"Well, I wonder why I'm alone, I wonder why I can't find my voice in my dreams, I wonder why death seems so unattached." He speaks carefully, and she tilts her head like a dog. 

"Hmm." She hums,mlooking him up and down. 

"What?" 

"You're alone because of death aren't you?" She asks and Tyler's blood runs cold.

not cold,

Freezing. 

"W-what?" 

"I'm not dumb, someone you loved died." She frowns slightly, looking sympathetic and annoyed. A strange combination. 

"Nothing lasts forever." Tyler mutters

"that's true, but you can always remember it." 

Tyler stands, this is too much. 

"Okay. I don't really want to talk about it right yet so could we not?""his speech is rushed and she pulls away, looking frightened at his harsh attitude. 

"Ok...I'm sorry Tyler." She apologizes quietly, a hand reaching up to scratch at her purple neck and Tyler grimaces. 

"It's ok..." he says softly, eyes trailing up her collar bone. 

"Sorry." She sighs, removing her hand and folding them in her lap, fingers twitching. 

"Does that feel weird? Your skin I mean?" Tyler asks and she shrugs. 

"They feel like hickeys have always felt." She scoffs and tosses hair over her shoulder. 

_What's with these fucking mood swings?_

"I could give you something for them..." he suggests but she waves him down. 

"N-no. Too much stuff already I can't keep track of it all." She sighs, looking overwhelmed and completely exhausted. 

"That's my job." Tyler laughs, "I'll come back later tonight with food and glowsticks, get some rest." He says almost like a mother, and starts towards the door. 

"Ty?" 

His throat tightens at the nickname but he nods anyway. 

"Mhmm?" 

"Do they look awful? I don't like seeing them when will they just go away?" She asks, voice high and nervous. 

He assums she's talking about the bruising. "They'll most likely be gone by Wednesday or Thursday." He says and she nods slowly, looking at the wall. 

"Anna." Her face snaps to him and he finds her eyes. 

"Don't worry about it, I'm here." 

Her eyes well, and Tyler can tell she doesn't want hi, to see but he does anyway. 

"...ok..." 

"I'll be back later, sleep sweetheart you really need it." He says before turning away and closing the door. 

_Oh my god_

_what did you just say?_

_that was the cheesiest most cliche thing you could've said_

Tyler sighs heavily, and starts his way up the hall to go to his car. 

He had to buy glowsticks. 

 

_12:37pm_

This was out of character. 

It really was. 

Tyler stepped out of the shower, throwing random clothes on and taking his time leaving the house. It had been about three hours since he left the hospital and he went home for a break, stopping at the dollar store to get glow sticks for a certain someone. he didn't know which ones to get so he just got them all, they die away anyhow. 

As he turned on the ignition of the car he couldn't help but wonder about her. 

you know who.

the person that was always on his mind. 

as much as he wished she wasn't.

 _"It's not a walk in the park to love, each other..."_ Tyler groaned as Still Into You by Paramore started playing for the third time this week. 

Coincidence? 

he thinks not. 

Despite this, his fingers still tapped along to the chorus on the steering wheel as he pulled into the hospital. It was cloudy, what a surprise but at this point it was expected of April. 

 _"I'm still...into you."_ he closed the car door, slinging the his backpack over his shoulder and whistling the high tune to himself as he dodged puddles scattered along the asphalt of the parking lot. 

Luckily there was nearly no one on the first floor and he took the elevator up three stories to Brendon's office. His plan for today was to check in on his other, neglected, patients and then settle in with Anna for the night. 

"Hey Tyler" Brendon mumbled from behind his desk, face glued to his computer screen. 

"Hey man." Tyler muttered, equally as uninterested. 

Most of the time this is how their interactions went. Feeble hello's and small talk before just going about their own business. Times like these Tyler just wished he had an office of his own. 

"How was your three hour break?" Brendon laughed dryly and Tyler rolled his eyes from where his face was inside his backpack. 

"Fine. Ate and showered. Normal shit." 

"The life of a nurse is usually pretty normal." Brendon sighs, standing up. "But not me, I'm going to a rager tonight!" He yells enthusiastically. 

"Guessing you haven't been to one in a while considering you're calling it a 'rager'" Tyler chuckles and Brendon joins in. 

"Yeah, first one in a while, since college but it'll be more fun then what you're doing tonight romeo." Brendon counters. 

"shut it." Is all Tyler says in response, finally finding his phone and pager and stuffing them in his pockets. 

"don't get all defensive." Brendon holds up his hands in opposition. 

"I'm not." 

"Ok sure." Brendon rolls his eyes this time and leaves the room. "Oh wait," He pops back in and hands Tyler a crumpled paper. "I don't know what it is, one of the doctors gave it to me." he shrugs before leaving again. 

"...what?" Tyler mumurs to himself as he unwraps the thin crumpled paper. On the inside there's scrawled writing in a neat order from the top to the bottom of the entire paper.

_Pateient #7873_

_Name: unknown_

_Age: 19_

_Blood Type: 0_ _negative_

_Patient treatment: 2 broken ribs, 1 bruised. Broken arm and leg. Minor concussion._

_Prescriptions:  Standard pain relievers, low dosage of hydromorphone._

_New prescriptions: 50 mg of Sertraline (Zoloft)_

"...ok?" Tyler mumbled to himself and looked over the paper skeptically. 

Zoloft? 

Are they fucking kidding?

Tyler sighs, shoulders slumping. 

he's acting like a lovesick puppy. 

He still cares too much.

It's disgusting. 

He shakes his head to himself, walking to the elevator with a bag of glow sticks, his ipod, and a bag of goldfish stuffed in his pocket. 

The goldfish were for him

He really hadn't eaten yet today. 

He was busy, rushing around his apartment and embarrassingly not being able to find anything because he had cleaned. 

When it's messy, you can see everything

When it's clean you have to rifle through drawers and shit looking for your old ipod shuffle. 

His room, being as clean as it was, was nearly impossible to navigate, and said ipod was actually stuffed inside his pillowcase.

Tyler assumed it was because he had fallen asleep crying and listening to Deathcab for Cutie a while ago. 

It must've been a while ago

because I Will Follow You Into the Dark was still playing. 

And Tyler hated to admit he choked down tears and stuffed it in his pocket. 

And that's where it stayed. 

Hopefully Deathcab isn't her favorite band too. 

Tyler just couldn't hear it anymore.

Again he stood in the mirrored elevator alone and again he stared at his emotionless face with disdain. 

 _"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run better run..."_ Tyler looked up as the radio box crackled to life and started playing the depressing song everyone loved so much. 

 All the other kids

With the pumped up kicks 

Better run

Better run

_And hide._

Because nothing will ever be that easy

ever. 

 " _Zoloft."_ Tyler let the sound roll off his tongue. It sounded weird, medical, and almost another language. 

"Oh god, she's gonna hate me..." Tyler mumbles as he makes his descent up the stairs, racking his brains for some kind of comfort. 

he remembers taking Zoloft, remembers the thick pill that would always resist on it's way down his throat, making him gag. 

He hadn't taken it for long, it was short lived. 

Sure, he still has a bottle in his medicine cabinet above the cracked bathroom sink. 

Sure, he still takes it sometimes. 

Sure, it's way too expired. 

But he doesn't want to get a new prescription. He doesn't want to feel like he needs it. he only  _wants_ to take it. 

But the thing is he doesn't. 

It makes him sadder, hallucinate even. It makes him batshit  _crazy._

And that's the last thing he needs. 

"Tyler!" 

He whips around, stuffing the note in his pocket and putting a neutral expression on his face. 

"Oh, hey Sarah." he says as she bounces forward. She's happy today, eyes bright and hair pulled up in a floppy bun. 

"So I have some meds here for your girl-" 

"Her name is Anna." Tyler interrupts and Sarah's eyes grow in size. 

"Wait really?" 

"Yeah." 

"When did she tell you that?" 

"Ummm, like, the second day she was here." Tyler shrugs. 

"Tyler! Did she give you anymore information about herself? if so, I need to know." She taps her foot impatiently. 

"Like, where she came from and stuff, but that's really it." Tyler shrugs. 

"Okay, so write me a report later ok? I'll need it by 5 tonight alright?" 

Tyler nods, and she walks away, hair bouncing atop her head with every step she takes. 

"Oh, hold on I forgot to give you these!" she bounds back, smiling and making a face before handing him a translucent orange container. 

"Give her one daily alright? See you later and don't forget about the report!" 

Tyler sighs, watching her figure disappear down the hall. 

he looks down at the label and frowns.

_Sertraline (Zoloft)_

"I guess I have to break the news..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Besides, maybe this time is different  
> I mean, I really think you like me


	10. Monday Night

_7:34_

After tending to Gabe, Grace, Caroline, and an assortment of other kids, Tyler slumped up the halls slowly, battling himself. 

He wanted to tell her about the Zoloft. 

He didn't want to tell her. 

She needed it. 

But she didn't need stress, or side affects. 

That would just make things worse. 

He palmed the Ipod and glow sticks in his pocket, having previously eaten the goldfish and he threw the bag away before knocking on her door carefully. 

He really cared. 

 _Really_ cared.

There was no immediate response so he slowly cracked open the door, peeking in to look around. 

Cold. 

It was cold. 

He assumed it was the AC, turned on because of the humid April air. 

But it was windy in the room, and there weren't ceiling fans. 

Tyler opens the door fully and bursts inside, looking around frantically and realizing  _she isn't here._

"oh my god..." he whispers in panic, a hand flying to his head and eyes growing wide when he sees the empty bed and open window. 

_oh shit._

_oh fucking shit._

He sprints to the window, sticking his head out and he hears a surprised yelp. 

"What the fuck?!" He screams, seeing the girl casually sitting on the wide ledge next to him. Her face was illuminated by bright lights coming from other rooms next to her, windows left open but blinds parted, leaving dark lines cast over her face, almost like some kind of abstract art. 

"Oh, hi." She squeaks, her mouth moving was like an optical illusion with all the lines across her mouth. 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Tyler yells and she cowers slightly. 

"...needed fresh air." She replies and stretches her legs out, peeking over the steep drop. Hair whipped around her face in loose curls and she had this look of all out  _freedom_ and pure  _exhilaration._ It felt as if it was radiating off of her. 

"You need to come in here right now, Anna what were you thinking?!" He really hated to ruin her fun, but this was extremely unsafe, and Tyler was starting to wonder why she  _really_ came out here. 

"I don't really know..."

"you have a broken arm and leg Anna, have you somehow forgotten that?" 

"nah." 

"How'd you even get out here?" He asks and she just shrugs.

"Can't know all my secrets." She smiles and Tyler rolls his eyes.

"You're such a handful." Tyler sighs and she giggles playfully as he lifts her up, holding her as tight as humanly possible when pulling her back through the large window. As he caries her, Tyler notes a distinct change in personality. She quiets down, eyes wide and breathing starting to grow heavy.

"...touching...right." Tyler mumbles, quickly setting her down and closing the window. 

once she was settled under the covers, Tyler sat in his armchair beside her and pulled out her "gifts" 

"Tyler! I don't deserve these!" Her eyes immediately brighten and her mouth spreads into a wide smile, taking the neon colored bag of glow sticks and the old beat up Ipod. 

"You requested them, so I couldn't just refuse." he argues and she scoffs lovingly. 

"you're too good to me." she sighs, ripping open the bag and cracking a glow stick easily between his fingers. In a flash the dull off white stick turned a blazing red, lighting up her face and making her look like she's sitting in front of a fire. 

"wow." She whispers, turning it around in her palm, gaze fixated on the glowing object. 

Ruby hues covered her face and turned her eyes a dark inky crimson. It almost scared Tyler a little bit. 

It also amused him, how easily she was entertained by something as small and uninteresting as a glow stick. 

She was 19 after all. 

"So, can I ask why glow sticks?" he raises an eyebrow and she chirps out a soft laugh. 

"Actually, I have no idea whatsoever. It's just something that I really wanted. It gets dark in here, dark and I get a little scared, a little lonely and bad things start to happen." 

Tyler cocks his head. "Bad things?" 

"shadows, telling me I'm alone, violence behind closed eyelids. Things I can only escape with light. Light can guide me home." 

Tyler smiles sadly, and reaches over to turn out the lights, surrounding them in darkness besides the foggy moonlight and the bright glowing stick shining crimson rays along the walls. 

"I'm so alone." She says after a minute, eyes still fixed on the red light. 

"why's that?" Tyler asks, thinking maybe he can get some more information about her. 

“There’s a girl, back home.”

“Yes, and?”

“I...I left her behind.”

“What’s wrong with that? Is she a friend?”

“Yeah….a best friend.”

“I’m sorry.”

No, don’t be. It was my choice….selfish.” She spits quietly.

Tyler can almost see the battle happening behind her eyes.

“It wasn’t, trust me you...you were trying to get away from someone-”

“No Tyler, I left her behind and she needed me! She needed me just as much as I need you!”

Silence.

“Her mom...her entire family I guess, they were horrible.” She whispers and Tyler feels his throat close.

“Anna I’m sorry about that…”

“‘S not your fault.” she chokes out.

A moment of quiet passes over the two.

“Gabby. She was my fierce, well loved by everyone, go lucky friend. You would never know anything was wrong.” Anna looks at the floor. “We were quite similar.”

Tyler stays quiet, Tyler lets her talk.

Tyler lets her open up.

“Her mom, as “involved” as she was, didn’t even like her own daughter. Gabby had two younger sisters that her mother obviously favored. Her father, who was actually really kind, loved her. She hung the moon and the stars for him. But her mom just scared him, threatened him with divorce. It was almost like a modern day Cinderella.”

Tyler looks at his lap. “More like modern day child abuse.”

“She never hurt Gabby, just yelled at her, ignored her for days, denied her new clothes and things she needed for school.”

“Anna that’s child abuse.”

She goes quiet.

“I should go back.”

“No, Anna-”

“I need to go back, she needs me she can’t do it without me.” Tyler watched as she slowly starts to slip into a panic attack.

“Shhh, no no you don’t have to go anywhere. It’s too far and she’ll be alright, I’m sure she has other people to go to.” Tyler tries to reason with her but he knows that it will ultimately be a failed attempt.

“She might die Tyler!” Anna borderline screams and Tyler cups her face gently. She pulls back, crinkling up her face and Tyler sighs softly.

“Do you know her phone number?”

She nods, hair falling into her face.

“Ok, just calm down.” Tyler says soothingly and reaches in his pocket.

After pressing the dial tone, he hands it to Anna and she frantically presses the buttons, holding it to her ear with a half horrified half excited expression and Tyler wonders when the last time she talked to her was.

“Could you put it one speaker Anna? Hospital rules.” he mumbles the last part and she does so hesitantly, the ringing now echoing around the room. He reaches over her head and turns on one light, a warm glow spreading throughout the room. 

“...h-hello?” A small, high pitched voice comes out of the phone after a few more rings and Anna looks like she might just faint.  
“....it-it’s me, Gab.” Anna says quietly and there’s deadly silence on the other side of the phone.

“...w-what?”

“Gab, it’s me, Anna.” She speaks louder, more confidently and Tyler hears a scream crackle out of the phone. Anna smiles ear to ear and Tyler assumes this is a good thing.

“ANNA! OH MY GOD I THOUGHT…I THOUGHT I’D NEVER HEAR YOUR VOICE AGAIN!”

She laughs, a beautiful noise in Tyler’s opinion, and holds the phone like it’s her baby.

“I thought I’d never hear you too.” A tear slips down her cheek but the smile on her face says that it’s fine.

“Where are you? I haven’t seen you since the football game, you disappeared.” Anna bites her lip and looks up at Tyler who steps back a little.

“Uh, I’m...I’m in Columbus.”

“WHAT?”

“Columbus.”

“OHIO?”

“Yeah…”

“WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN COLUMBUS ANNA?” Gabby shrieks and Tyler starts to worry.

“Grant...uh….Grant broke my rib," "...Not the first time...." Tyler hears Gabby mutter. "...So I ran out and got a bus to that bridge…” Anna trails off and Tyler hears her scoff

“I’m gonna _kill_ that bastard.” he hears Gabby seethe.

“Don’t talk to him Gabby he’s not alright.” Anna argues and Gabby makes a noise of opposition.

“I don’t give a fuck Anna he broke your fucking rib!” she protests and Anna’s face falls slightly.

“I made him mad…”

“You always make him mad! That's your fucking excuse for everything! He was mad because you went out with friends, mad when you didn't wear the dress he got you that night, mad because you have a fucking gag reflex!" 

Tyler is now fully focused on what Gabby is saying. This can be important information. Anna goes bright red at the last accusation, and Tyler has an idea why.

“Gab…”

“Anna, I can’t sit by anymore and watch you suffer, what if you get pregnant huh?”

Tyler’s face snaps up and he sees Anna’s entire face flush red.

"We never-" 

"Bull. Shit. Anna I knew him just as long as you did, he wasn't a stranger." 

Anna coughs, eyes darting around the room and Tyler wonders if he should take charge. 

"Things are rough all over An...it's rough here, it's rough wherever the hell you are. You need to come back home." 

"I will Gab, I have a bunch of broken bones and shit. As of now no one knows where I come from. I don't have a ride...hell, I don't even have a home." 

"You can have mine." Gabby scoffs and Tyler really thinks he should intervene. 

"Maybe you should stay with Lulu-" Anna starts but Gabby cuts her off. 

"don't even say that whore's name. I'm not affiliated with her anymore." Her voice is on edge. 

"ok, I don't have to say her name..." 

"Where's Grant?" 

"how the hell should I know?" 

"You were with him last." 

"Gabby I had to go, it was getting...bad." 

"Bad like October? Or bad like December?" Gabby asks and Tyler makes a mental note to ask about those dates later. 

“Gabby I don’t want to talk about...this anymore.” She whispers urgently and Gabby is _not_ having it.

“No. We will talk about it because we have to. You’re in deep shit hun.”

Tyler agrees, this was serious and he was glad Gabby was putting some sense into Anna.

She’d listen to her best friend before Tyler.

“Where’d you get a phone, I thought Grant broke it?”

“My….fr...my nurse gave me his.” Anna squeaks

“Oh, alright...is he with you?” she whispers the last part, making Tyler laugh slightly when she blushes.

“Yeah...he actually is. How’d you know he’s a guy?”

“I don’t really know.” She answers and Tyler knew that she was lying. It was proven that Anna acted differently around him.

“When are you getting out? I need to see your face.”

“I’m not sure, a few months maybe.”

“Months? For a broken rib?” Gabby asks, oblivious, and Tyler can tell Anna doesn’t want to say the biggest reason why she’s here.

“Listen Gab...I...I...I have to go.” she hands the phone to Tyler and he makes a confused face. All she does it sit back and stare out the window, Gabby yelling in protest.

“Anna I haven’t talked to you in weeks and you finally call and now you suddenly can’t talk?! What did you do?”

Tyler lifts the phone to his ear, “Hey Gabby this is Anna’s nurse Tyler.”

“Hi Tyler can I talk to Anna?” she asks and Tyler almost laughs.

“She’s kinda upset Gabby, she doesn’t really want to talk about last Monday.”

“Why, what happened last Monday?” gabby sounds extremely concerned and Tyler can’t help but feel bad. In the background Tyler can hear things smashing and someone yelling in the distance.

He doesn’t know what to do.

This girl could be Anna’s age.

She could be younger.

This is definitely abuse.

“She...can I Anna?” Tyler and and Anna just nods slightly, gaze still fixated on the window.

“She, jumped in front of a car.” Tyler says and Gabby goes silent. The voices and smashing continues though no one acknowledges it.

“W-What?” She almost cries and Anna covers her face from the bed.

“She decided to try and end her life but thankfully the impact wasn’t as strong as she thought it would be.”

“She...she planned it?” Gabby says softly and Tyler mumbles a yes.

“Ok...Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure, make sure she’s ok alright? Call me weekly, I really care about her.” Tyler could hear screams coming from the other line and he opened his mouth to say something.

“...shit….I’m sorry I have to go, call me soon ok?” Before she hung up Tyler heard her bellow something like “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU BITCH!”

He turns his phone off and puts it back in his pocket, turning to Anna with a sentimental smile.

“She seems nice.” he says after a long pause.

“Yeah..she is.” Anna chokes out and closes her eyes. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s not going to get better is it?”

She wasn't really asking Tyler, more so her eyelids.

“It does...trust me.”

“Is it bad if I don’t want it to get better?” She asks and opens her eyes to stare at Tyler with hazel hues.

“No. No it’s not…” He sighs, walking over and sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Then I don’t want it to get better. I just want it all to end.”

“Well that’s not ok.” Tyler argues and she just closes her eyes again, breathing softly.

“Anna-”

“Gabby tried to kill herself too. She tried to hang herself.”

Tyler goes quiet in a second, finding himself close to the brink because he doesn’t know how much more talk about suicide he can take.

“She had left a note on my door when I came home that simply said “goodbye to my real family, you tried your best and I’m grateful.”

Tyler sniffs, trying to be professional.

“I found her right after she finished tying it, burst in the door and just hugged her as tight as I could.”

“I know you’ve had it hard, I know it’s been so difficult, but leaving won’t help anything.”

“Yes it will, I won’t have to deal with anything, I’ll be gone, dust in the wind.”

He swallows, inching forward.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You can’t. It’s not healthy Anna.”

“I don’t care whether it’s healthy or not Tyler!” she screams, undoubtedly bruising her already fucked up ribs, and abruptly burst into tears.

“I don’t want to live, I don’t want to do this anymore!” she yells and now Tyler doesn't want to either.

“Shhhh….Anna please calm down.” He tries to touch her but she winces and backs away.

“Don’t treat me like a child!”

“I’m not, I won’t.” Tyler’s voice stays soft and smooth, his actions delayed and gentle, doing everything his was ever taught to do with someone hostil.

“Hey, Anna.” Tyler whispers and she looks up, tears still streaming down her face and magnifying the freckles underneath.

“Can you breathe for me? Just like I am alright?” He straightens his back and displays his chest as it slowly rises and falls. She dissolves into another set of tears, breathing wobbly and uncertain of a rhythm.

“Anna…” Tyler whispers softer than before, holding her hands tightly so she can’t cover her face. She thrashes against him, trying to pull away and in any other instance she’d most likely be able to.

“...I need you to stop crying.” Tyler almost pleads, but he tries keeping calm and keeping himself collected.

“I….I….can’t.” She sobs.

She had always been so strong.

Even when she first came here.

Now this thing with Gabby.

She was breaking down.

It was obvious she wouldn't be able to take it much longer.

“You are safe here. You’re with me. We’re alone. Even when you feel as if you have no one, you have me.”

She looks up, eyes stained red as if she’s been smoking “I hope you know I really hate you right now.”

Tyler is taken aback “what?”

“I hate you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re perfect.” she sighs, leaning back and running a hand through her hair. “I don’t deserve it.”

“You do Anna, you deserve the world.”

“Yeah sure.” she scoffs, wiping her eyes dry.

“You deserve more then that, you deserve the stars, the sky, every planet in the universe and more.”

Tyler is not a mushy guy.

He was never very romantic.

This is extremely surprising.

“I hate you so much I just want to kiss you.”

Tyler swallows, looking anywhere but her.

“Thought you didn't like to be touched?” He asks nervously and a small smile catches on her cheek.

“Maybe now I do.” She whispers, leaning forward and Tyler cups her face gently.

“I know you want to leave, but please don’t take your life away from me.” he whispers, pulling her closer and connecting their lips.

It’s soft.

Gentle.

Quiet.

Respectful.

Slow.

Everything a good kiss should be. It’s sensual, passionate, full of love and that’s just what the both of them need.

“Tyler…” She pulls back after about three minutes and looks into his eyes. Tyler can’t help but stare, can’t help but drown in dazzling green eyes.

“I don’t want to do this for myself anymore. I don’t see a point.”

“Then stay alive,” He starts, holding both cheeks between strong hands “Stay alive for me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Wednesday

It was easy to forget how injured she actually was. It was easy to see over the bandages and bruises to the things underneath.

It was also easy to forget about years of abuse.

Years?

Months?

Tyler didn't even know how long it had been going on for. 

It was easy to forget about her struggles alone.

It was, more specifically, easy for _him_ to forget.

But not her, it was much more difficult.

One of the most challenging things in Tyler’s opinion, was remembering how to treat her. Especially when his touches become triggering and now she’s screaming at him to not touch her, curled into a pitiful little ball across from him.

“Shhhh, shhhh it’s alright.” he says, gently walking towards her as if everything was fine.

“No….no no no….no t-touching.” She whispered, eyes blown and horrified as she looked up at Tyler with absolute terror painting her face.

It killed him to know that she was this scared of him.

Purely because of another person.

Another person that, according to Gabby, frequently beat the living shit out of her.

“Ok...ok I won’t.” Tyler said softly and quietly, stepping back to examine the damage that’s been done. Once again the window was open, the bathroom door haphazardly thrown open, there were empty bottles of medicine on the ground, along with tiny white pills scattering the floor. It didn't look good. Honestly, it looked like a full on crime scene.

She sat up in her bed, blood dotting the bleached white blankets, the broken glass, and now it _really_ looked like a crime scene.

Tyler really hadn’t expected it to end up like this. He was only trying to help but it looks like that’s the last thing she wanted from him.

“Shhhh, listen..I’m sorry just, just calm down.” Tyler tried to soothe her, closing the open window and shutting the bathroom door, reaching in his pocket to blindly page the janitor to come clean the absolute _warzone_ in there.

“I…..I….can you leave?” She borderline whimpered, which again was something she never usually did.

"But...but you're hurt I have to help-" 

"-Tyler, LEAVE!" she hollers, teeth gritted together in pain. 

"But-" 

"GO AWAY!" 

"Anna....calm down. I need to clean up your hand." 

"no....no touching...please." She whispered, eyes down. "please leave." 

"Anna-" 

"-You're scaring me!"she cried, eyes wild and welling, hands in front of her for protection. 

shit. 

Tyler backed away immediately, running a hand through his hair and looking around as if there'd be something in the corner of the room to somehow help him. 

"ok, ok I'll leave." he agreed, taking a step back. 

"t-thank you." her voice was shaky, clutching her bleeding hand like a child. 

“I can leave...but there’s someone coming up here to clean the mess you made so if you want to be alone with him I’ll-”

“NO!” She cried, suddenly changing her mind, eyes bigger than life and starting to tear up.

“Ok, alright...it’s all ok Anna I’ll stay until he leaves.” Tyler negotiates, easing her into a stable state of mind.

She sniffs, gaze still completely petrified and Tyler decides it’s best if he just waited outside. As he exists she watches him go with a hint of longing in her expression.  

He hadn’t wanted it to end like this. He just wanted her to be healthy and happy, which she certainly wasn’t. It had two days since the call with Gabby, and she really hadn't fully recovered after that conversation, and  Tyler's interrogation afterwards. Gabe’s impending absence had caused immediate turmoil, and Tyler really wasn’t doing his best, causing Anna to be on edge and nervous for the past few days. 

A sharp beep caused Tyler to raise his head and he was met with the sight of Sarah looking down on him. Down?

He was on the floor.

He didn’t remember that.

“She’s been a constant struggle for you since she’s come Tyler.” Sarah sighs. “But you aren’t gonna quit, are you?”

He shakes his head, sighing softly as well and looking her in the eye.

“I think I’m in too deep.”  

“Yeah, well I think I’d agree.” she mumbled, crossing her arms.

“I’m guessing the Zoloft did not go well?”

“You wanna go in there and see for yourself?” Tyler snorted, gesturing to the door that hid the disaster behind it.

“Mmmm.” Sarah just hummed through tight lips swaying slightly.

“Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we should...you know...move her somewhere else.” Sarah says quietly, looking at the ground.

Tyler blinks a few times, “What?”

“Somewhere more...intensive. That focuses on trauma.” Sarah whispers as if she could hear from behind the door.

“Sarah I don’t think-”

“-Tyler she’s been out on that window sill four times.”

He closes his mouth, shoulders falling slightly and breathing out harshly.

“Tyler, we still don’t know her last name, her parents could be worried sick there’s no kidnappings in the area-”

“-She came from Springfeild.” Tyler says quietly and Sarah raises an eyebrow.

“We know that Tyler, you've said that before. Tyler? What else did she tell you?” Sarah asks, looking puzzled.

“She lives in Springfield Ohio, has a boyfriend that beats her and the night she came here he had broken her rib so she tried to run, got a bus to a familiar bridge, and jumped in front of the fastest car.” Tyler whispers, eyes dark and Sarah nods, looking extremely uncomfortable.

“I knew that one fracture wasn’t a car…” She mumbles. “Tyler...I know that this is...difficult, for you.”

“No shit.”

“If there’s any more information I need to know.” Tyler has more, and he's willing to spill if it helps her in any way. 

“She can’t be touched by anyone except women, she hasn't confessed to it but I can tell she's scared to death of Brendon because he looks similar to her boyfriend, I have one of her friend's cell phone numbers who’s neglected at home and knows alot of vital information about Anna.”

“That’s her name, right?” Sarah confirms and Tyler nods.

“Her boyfriend’s name is Grant. He came to the hospital a few weeks ago and threatened her and now she basically can’t go home.” Tyler’s not whispering anymore, he’s almost wailing, eyes teary, and body shaking.

“Tyler, sweetie, calm down.” Sarah whispers, bending down and sitting next to him. “She’ll be alright.”

“But what if she won’t?” Tyler cries, burying his head in his knees. He’s too young for this he’s too unstable this is too fresh.

Salt in the wound.

“Tyler Joseph...listen to my voice.” Sarah says, “You are _both_ going to be _fine_.”

Tyler sniffs, body convulsing as he tries to force himself to calm the fuck down. He’s going to hurt himself if he doesn’t calm down.

“O...ok.” He mutters, slowly getting up and leaning against the wall for support.

“Now I’m gonna go in there, make sure everything is ok.” Sarah says, holding out her hand as to signal Tyler to stay put.

He does.

He stands and waits.

He waits about ten minutes.

The janitor walks in.

Anna screams, voice wrecked. it's more a shrill high shriek of pure terror. 

Sarah speaks soothing words.

The screaming stops. 

Tyler sits back down.

Sarah comes out.

The janitor walks out, rolling a bucket filled with murky red water and an old moldy mop.

“Tyler?”

He looks at a speck of dust on the floor for a moment before flickering his eyes up, staring into Sarah’s.

“Yes?”

"Do you know why her hand was cut?" Sarah raises an eyebrow and Tyler shakes his head. 

"...no..."

"I think you're lying Tyler, that isn't a smart thing to do." Sarah warns. She was right, this is a workplace. He's a professional. 

Or so he thought. 

"I...I tried to talk to her about the medication you prescribed but she started freaking out and I tried to hold her arms because the one's broken but she like, flipped out and flinched away and her hand went straight through the lamp above her." Tyler explained, recalling the events that happened no less then twenty minutes ago. 

Sarah cringed at the words, nodding in understanding. "ok." 

"I'm such a fucking idiot." Tyler muttered, staring at his palms. 

"you aren't." Sarah interrupted his pity party. 

"yes I am Sarah, I can't even take care of a nineteen year old girl!" 

"She's difficult Tyler, one of the most difficult you've ever had, even me." 

Tyler exhaled, she was right. This was more then just a few broken bones. 

Her insides were broken too. 

Her brain as well. 

She had been corrupted. 

"But I should be able to handle it, I should know by now."

“Tyler is was an accident, she just got frightened. It’s not your fault you care so much.”

“I care a little _too_ much.” Tyler sighs for probably the twentieth time today, and stands up on wobbly feet once again.

“That’s good, I’d be worried if you didn't.” Sarah tuts, peeking in the door and smiling warmly at the girl behind it.

“I think we should have a talk.” Sarah says, directing her back to Tyler.

“About what?” He asks, suddenly worried.

“You.” Sarah responds simply, turning around and beckoning him up the hall.

“But Sarah I-” Tyler starts but she’s already hallway at the end of the hall, and that’s better then going back in and seeing Anna so upset over something he did.

“So Tyler...when was the last time you went to Jenna?” Sarah asks as she takes a sip of coffee in the cafeteria. Giant windows surrounding them brightening the usually cloudy room made Tyler anxious, the question even more anxious.

“Umm, two years I...I think?” he said, voice wavering and uncertain, Sarah immediately picking up on it.

He didn't want to go back to Jenna.

Jenna would just give him more medicine.

“Ok...How are your siblings?”

“All good, Zach just got out of college.” Tyler smiles to himself and Sarah returns one.

“That’s great! What about Jay and Maddie?”

“They’re great, I miss ‘em alot.”

“It’s alright, I’m sure you’ll see them soon.” She says reassuringly.

Tyler nods, looking out the window at a plane passing by, the booms of it’s engine being muted by the plexi glass.

“So, Tyler?” she snaps and he jumps, laughing slightly.

“Yeah?”

“I think...maybe this is just a bit too much...for you...for her.” Sarah says quietly, reaching out to take Tyler’s hand.

“B-but...Sarah-”

“-Tyler, do you think maybe you’re trying to...I don’t know...replace J-”

“-Sarah I think it’s best if we don’t talk about this anymore. I’m fine. I’m not replacing…” Tyler coughs, looking down.

That’s exactly what he was doing.

And he knew it to.

“Oh. um, ok. Just...let me know if you need to talk. Anytime.” Sarah smiles but she looks extremely uncomfortable.

“Yep.” Tyler says with noticeable edge in his voice.   
  
"Wait!" Sarah calls and he turns around, wanting nothing more then to just leave. 

Leave the room

Leave the building

Leave the town

Leave the world.

"mmhmm?" Tyler hums, choking back tears because he's cried too much over this. 

"Tyler, I have an idea." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler didn't like this. 

Not one bit. 

He didn't understand. 

He didn't understand why Sarah had to do this. 

It was dumb. 

It was really dumb. 

He didn't trust him. 

But it seemed Anna did. 

And that's what pissed him off the most. 

She had met him all of twenty minutes ago and now she was all googly eyed and smiley around the guy he didn't even  _know worked here._

"Tyler?" 

he spun around, Sarah beckoning him over. 

"Do you wanna go see Gabe while she does her session?" 

He shock his head. Even though it was Gabe's last day he felt as if he had to be here. For her. Even if it didn't look like she needed him. 

"Tyler." Sarah whispered and Tyler sighed heavily, turning back to face her. 

"you look like you're about to punch Matty." 

Maybe he was. 

"No I'm fine." Tyler huffed, and Sarah just rolled her eyes and Tyler looked over the room. 

It had been two hours since the "incident" and now her room was clean, spotless even. Her hand was patched up by Sarah and she had slept a little bit, only waking up twice and calling for Tyler once. Turns out Sarah's "idea" had been asking one of the maternity nurses to come up and talk with Anna as a way to calm her down. They didn't have any assigned therapeutic nurses and when Sarah said Matty Healy Tyler didn't even know who she was talking about. 

Matty Healy, as it turns out, was a nurse younger then Tyler, more handsome, and just so happened to bring his guitar to work that day for the kids diagnosed with leukemia.

He was sickeningly perfect.

Tyler already hated him.

Not _him,_ per-say.

He hated the  _affect_ the boyhad on Anna. 

She was cautious at first, shrinking into the bed when he first came into the room and whimpering slightly. It was expected of her and Matty handled it "beautifully" as Sarah had said. Small movements and soft tones lured her out of her own head and she had opened up, at least enough for her to say a few words to him.

But after about fifteen minutes of just talking he got out his guitar and Anna was completely transfixed. Tyler knew how much music affected her, he knew how much simple songs meant to her and he cursed himself for never thinking of this before today. Matty was perfect, with his beautiful features and impressing talents, he was sweet as well, and patient. Once he started playing, even Tyler had to admit; It sounded good, really good. 

Tyler  _hated_ it. 

"if you say so." Sarah said, dismissing Tyler's attitude and leaving the room. 

Matty was playing a light, simple tune on a mahogany colored acoustic guitar, light pink pick in hand. Anna's eyes followed his fingers as they traveled up and down. 

Tyler should've brought his ukulele. 

Tyler thought he couldn't get anymore jealous of this guy. 

Until he started to sing. 

_"And she lays down on her bedroom floor, t_ _he chemicals that make her laugh d_ _on't seem to be working anymore."_ Anna's eyes started to glow, shoulders relaxing and a small smile staring to spread across her face. 

_"She tries her best, but it hurts her chest. A_ _nd even though her sun is gone, s_ _he lights like a child nevertheless."_ Tyler pouts slightly, watching as Anna's hands slowly start t fidget in her lap, making shapes and small movements that could only be identified as sign language.  

_"My hair is brown, she's scared to touch."_ Matty sings sadly, making Anna sad as well but to Tyler she also looks just so... _happy._

_"And she just wants to feel something a_ _nd I don't think that's asking for too much."_

_"And when I go to sleep it's when she begins to weep s_ _he's appalled by not loving me at all s_ _he wears a frown and dressing gown, w_ _hen she lays down."_ Matty's voice was impressively smooth, soft and gentle with hints of a faint melancholy undertone. 

  _"well we got a plane, going to see my dad again, s_ _he prayed that we fell from the sky si_ _mply to immediate the pain."_ Tyler looks up from the ground to see Anna with her eyes closed, swaying slightly to the music. Legs crossed, the cast on her one leg overlapping the other and her back to the pillows, hair falling to her shoulder in messy but gentle light brown waves. Matty is smiling as he sings, eyes looking over Anna with care and Tyler's ears go red. 

_"Over the water, hmm, o_ _ver terrain._ _The engines all go bust, we turned to dust, a_ _nd I've no reason to complain, yeah a_ _nd in the end, she chose cocaine b_ _ut it couldn't fix her brain."_

_"She's appalled oh she doesn't love me at all, s_ _he wears a frown and dressing gown... w_ _hen she lays down."_

he finishes softly, Anna's eyes staying closed for a few extra seconds before she cracks an innocent smile, slits parting and revealing sparkling emerald green eyes. 

"That was it." Matty concludes, smiling brightly and pushing hair out of his face. 

Tyler shrinks into the wall, watching as they have some sort of silent communication. Eyes and hands flicker around as they just study each other. 

 One of the things that was so admirable about Matty was that he only knew that she was abused, not anything else besides that. He didn't know it was her boyfriend and he didn't know that she was almost fifty miles away from her home. He had automatically switched into a different person, someone who didn't curse or talk too loud, who moved slow and smiled frequently. Tyler had met him once before, when he first started, but he had assumed he was sent to another hospital for more training with infants. Apparently, he had done such an amazing job here that they promoted him immediately and now he worked full time in the maternity ward. 

"That was so good!" Anna exclaims and he laughs. 

"Thanks love, still needs some tuning though." his accent had her swooning it was apparent. 

"are you feeling better?" he asks and she nods, hands folded in her lap and Matty stands up, looking at Tyler. 

"Oh, you've been 'ere the whole time?" he asks while cocking his head, curls bouncing to the side and Tyler nods. 

"Yeah." 

"Alright, I best be 'goin but I'll see you soon Anna!" He said sweetly, grabbing his guitar and tossing her the pick. 

"So tha' I 'ave to come back." he said with a slight wink and Anna blushed, looking over at Tyler for a split second and looking down. 

Matty leaves, humming to himself as he walks out the door with a half ass wave. 

Tyler turns back to Anna, who sits with a satisfies smile and he teeters on his feet. 

"so?" Anna asks and he is taken aback by her lowered gaze. 

"so what?" 

"I didn't know you got jealous so easily." Anna comments, picking at her nails and humming. 

Tyler scoffs, sitting in his designated chair beside her bed. 

"I don't get jealous...how are you feeling?" 

"Bull _shit_ you do, and fine" she says casually, putting emphasis on shit. 

Tyler sighs, looking out the window. "Well it sure looked like you were trying to make me jealous, and I'm glad you are feeling better." 

Anna laughs softly, rolling her eyes "I wasn't  _trying,_ you just get too protective, and I'm glad I'm feeling better too." 

Tyler laughed as well at their little game of communication. "I can't argue with that, it's just who I am." 

Anna nods understandingly "he was really sweet though." 

"mmhmm." Tyler hums, looking at her monitor and taking note of how it has changed over time. 

"There you go again, being jealous." she chirps, amused by Tyler's intense emotions. 

He rolls his eyes with a wide smile. "I guess he was nice, knew what he was doing unlike me." 

"he's younger though?" Anna asks and he nods. 

"he works with babies." at the words Anna lights up.

"That's so cute!" she squeals and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, that's why he's so gentle." 

"Well I mean you work with kids too right?" 

"Yeah"

"You're gentle too." she says and Tyler shakes his head. 

"as much as I want to believe it, I'm not very good at my job." 

"Yes you are." 

"Anna I just made you throw your hand through a lamp." he argues and she shrugs. 

"I do that all the time, it's me, not you." 

"But I shouldn't be making you flinch." 

"I do anyway, I flinch with Sarah, I flinch with...Brendon." she lowers her voice, eyes darting to the door as he walks by at the exact moment. 

"When does Brendon come here?" Tyler asks quietly. He knew he was the only one assigned to her, no one else except from Sarah should be coming in her room so the fact she said that made him nervous. She had always been weird with Brendon. 

"he...he comes like, every other day I-I guess." 

She was stuttering. 

She hadn't stuttered in days. 

Tyler had been proud. 

So why was she stuttering now?

"Why? What does he do?" Tyler asks, becoming increasingly more nervous by the second. 

"He just...does...the same thing you do." She finishes and Tyler examines her face. Gaze lowers, drooped shoulders, eyes down. 

Submission. 

She's lying and she guilty, hoping he won't notice and just accept it. 

but Tyler's not that kind of person. 

"Anna." no response.

"Anna." her hands start to fidget, eyes still in her lap. 

" _Anna."_  Tyler commands and her eyes flicker up. 

"what does he do?" 

"nothing." she squeaks, looking at the door and Tyler walks over to shut it. 

"You can tell me what he does, you won't get in trouble nothing will happen." 

"he doesn't  _do_ anything!" Anna yelps in opposition and Tyler backs up, out of her face. 

"Ok...it's alright. You don't have to tell me. However, if he's  _saying_ anything that makes you upset or uncomfortable, you can always tell me."  

She looks up, lip quivering slightly, " It's really not that bad, I don't even know if it's against the rules or anything, I don't know what he could be fired for." 

Tyler was thoroughly confused by this "Wait...what?" 

"He doesn't do anything...at least I'm not awake for it." She says in defense and Tyler scoots forward. 

"Anna, I need to know what you're hiding. He won't get in any trouble, you won't either. I just need to know." Tyler tries to ease the truth out of her one word at a time. This is making him nervous. Brendon was a good guy, he's know him for two years, there isn't really anything he could be hiding that is  _that_ serious right? 

Right? 

"Tyler I don't even know I'm probably just being paranoid or someth-" 

"-Stop. You aren't. This is serious. This is your health and well being and I need to know." 

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore can we just-" 

"-did he threaten you?" 

she goes silent, looking out the window and sighing heavily. 

"Tyler he doesn't say anything, it's fine." 

he knows better then to pursue this. he knows that if he continues to ask she'll just get too nervous. he knows she won't answer and he'll start to yell and get over protective and she'll be scared of him. 

"Ok....ok I trust you." he says, smiling at her and he can just  _see_ the fight going on behind her eyes. She wants to tell him, but she doesn't want to get in trouble. 

She doesn't want to get Brendon in trouble. 

Because if she gets him in even a little bit of trouble she has this thought drilled into her head that he'd come after her. 

Like Grant did. 

"Hey," he said, changing the subject "did I ever give you the ipod?" 

She nodded, smiling cracking over her face. "Yeah, I like Trash Bin." 

Tyler laughed out loud at that, she had found a mix tape he had made when he was fifteen. It was embarrassing, but overall not too bad in the long run. 

"Really?"

"Yeah, I had no idea you were so...." 

"emo?" 

"Yeah!" she exclaims, holding her stomach as she laughed. 

"It kinda lingered until I was 22 in case you haven't noticed." Tyler comments and gestures to himself which makes her giggle. 

"I liked the Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Blink 182...and the umm...the one called...uh...welcome to the something." She cringes while trying to remember. 

"Welcome to the Black Parade?" Tyler asks and she nods

"That was it!" 

He laughs, "When I was, a young boy, my father, took me into the city...to see a marching band." he sings, and opens his eyes to see Anna staring at him in disbelief. 

"What?" he laughs, her mouth falling open and eyes bigger then the moon. 

"Tyler...you...." she trails off. 

"What?" he asked, confused at her strange behavior. She tilted her head. 

"sing...sing something else." 

"Why?" 

"I've heard you before but just...sing something else...please?" 

He looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, shrugging and thinking for something to sing for a second. 

"Who do you think you are, runnin round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart, you're gonna catch a cold, from the ice in your soul, so don't come back to me, who do you think you are."

he stepped back, opening his eyes when he was done and Anna had little tears in the corner of her eyes. 

"why are you crying?" he asked, laughing slightly. he wasn't that good. 

"I...Tyler you sound just like one of the singers on the playlist." she says quietly and Tyler laughs, thinking she's comparing him to Billie Joe Armstrong or Gerard Way. 

"who?" he smiled and she wiped her eyes, sighing and thinking for a moment. 

"it didn't have a title, or title art, just a downloaded song." she says and Tyler freezes. 

Oh shit. 

Oh fucking shit. 

"wait...what?" he asks and she looks confused. 

"it was called um...shit I can't remember, I fell asleep listening to it. It was at the very end." 

_Shit shit shit shit._

"Probably just a coincidence." Tyler tries to back up, getting away from the topic "I have a common voice." he laughs nervously. 

But she won't give up. "No you don't, your voice is extremely unique. It sounded _exactly_ God, what was the name of it?" She racks her brain trying to remember. 

"It was really crackly actually, and there was more then one song like that. I think those were my favorites though." Tyler smiles, even though he is borderline between passing out and running from the room. 

"Oh cool." he said, starting to sweat and really hating himself for giving her the ipod without clearing it first." 

"I think I remember a little bit..." she says and Tyler jumps out of the seat, startling her.

"Where'd you put the ipod?" he asked, with the intention of deleting the songs. 

"Uh...it died. I'm sorry." she said, getting it from the inside of her pillow. 

He sighs, looking out the window and the oncoming set of clouds. There'd be rain tonight, again for the fifth time this week. 

"it was  _so_ good, god I must've cried a thousand times. It made me feel  _something,_ like the person writing it was writing from my own heart." 

Tyler nods, looking over at her. This place had significantly changed her appearance. Brown locks were now halfway down her back, eyebrows growing more wild, her face clearing up, bruises leaving and freckles reappearing. She had been eating at least one meal a day, sometimes two, and Tyler thought it was safe to rule anorexia out of her statistics. 

However, her clothes still hung off of her like silk, drooping and dragging behind her when she moved. Her eyes were foggy, unusually clouded and devoid of color. Though the bruises were fading they were still visible, a constant reminder of her past and what had happened. Long sleeves covered conversations Tyler longed to have, and private calls with Gabby had given him more then he needed to know. 

"Tyler?" his gaze snaps back to her, and she tilts her head. 

"hm?" 

"what are you thinking about?" 

"n-nothin." he lies, hoping she'll drop both topics; the song and what he's thinking about. 

"ok...well if you made the playlist then you have to know what it is right?" 

"I guess." 

"did you even think the signer sounded like you?" 

"I don't really sing anymore Anna." 

"anymore?" 

shit. 

"No...n-no I just, never really do it alot." 

"oh." she seemed disappointed. 

"I bet you could get Matty to sing to you." Tyler jokes and she pouts. 

"But I want  _you_ to sing to me." 

Tyler laughed out loud at that. "I'm not good Anna." 

"But you are, even if you weren't, I still like the way it sounds." she shrugs and Tyler really can't argue with that. 

"fine, sing for me." 

"w-what?" her eyes grow large, and she shakes her head. 

"But I've heard you too. Granted you had a fever but it was still amazing." 

"No, no, n-n-no, my voice is.. it's weak, Tyler.  My voice is bad. I've got a bad voice, Tyler." she argues, looking down and messing up her hair. 

"Even if you say that I'm still gonna argue hun." Tyler laughs and she smiles slightly. 

"ok." 

"then sing for me." 

she sighs, looking up before motioning for him to spin around and he does, rolling his eyes in the process.

"..... _Burn it down, till the embers smoke on the ground, and start new when your heart is an empty room._ _Home's face: how it ages when you're away . S_ _pring blooms and you find the love that's true, b_ _ut you don't know what now to do, c_ _ause the chase is all you know_ _And she stopped running months ago, a_ _nd all you see is where else you could be w_ _hen you're at home and o_ _ut on the street, are so many possibilities, to_ _not be alone."_ she sang gently, softly, her voice threatening to crack but it never did. Tyler sat in pure wonder, watching her mouth move while she sang and her hands just twitching with the urge to make movements indicating words. 

It was just one of her "things" 

She stopped, looking up in expectation and Tyler smiled warmly. 

"Deathcab." is all he said and she smiled when she realized he knew the band. 

"Pretty much sums it up." she said with a short laugh and Tyler stood slowly. 

"I'll go charge this..." he said, still itching to delete the last few songs on his playlist. 

"ok...don't change anything though." she says as if she knew, waggling a finger in warning. 

he stayed quiet, pursing his lips, and taking it from her, as his hand retreated with the device, hers shot out again and gripped his wrist. 

"You better not delete those." she hissed, voice low and dangerous but her smile was witty and almost playful. Tyler swallowed and glanced at the tiny silver ipod. 

"why-" 

"-I like them. they're my favorites. And I know they're yours." 

Tyler frowned slightly, at a complete loss of words. 

"just because I know ASL doesn't mean I'm deaf Tyler." she laughed and he felt his throat un tighten. 

"Anna I really don't want you listening to those, it's embarrassing." 

she sighs and lets him go, when his back turns however, he hears her hum a distant tune, making his ears twitch immediately and he resists the urge to turn around. 

"Nobody thinks what I think, nobody dreams when they blink think things on the brink of blasphemy I'm my own shrink think things are after me, my catastrophe, at my kitchen sink, you don't know what that means, because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me."  

She raps it perfectly, so fast and pronounced so well Tyler actually doesn't even know how to describe it. he turns around slowly and eyes her up slowly. 

"wha...." 

"Lovely is my personal favorite though." she says with a smirk and Tyler's mouth falls open. 

"...w-wha..."

"Again, if you delete those I  _will_ kill you." Anna says with a smile, brightening up her whole face and there, in that hospital room, at almost 11:30 at night Tyler has decided. 

He's sure. 

He's

absolutely 

positively

one hundred percent sure

there's not a doubt in his mind 

that he's completely 

in love

with this girl. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Physical pain blinds emotional pain

_7:43_

 

"So, how bad has it been without me?" Gabe's cocky voice comes through the phone and Tyler chuckles, leaning his head against the employee fridge and shuddering at the sudden cool on his forehead.

"It's been lonely I guess, but a lot quieter." Tyler sighs and Gabe scoffs.

"Lonely? Even with your girlfriend?" Gabe teases, a high laugh resonating through the receiver. 

"I've told you a thousand times, shes not my girlfriend!" Tyler objects loudly, looking around quickly to make sure no one heard him. 

"Oh sure...I believe you." Tyler can practically  _hear_ Gabe's eyes rolling through the phone. 

"Gabe I swear...she's not anything...  _special..._ just someone that I care about, there's nothing weird about that." he argues and Gabe goes quiet. 

"I never said it was  _weird_...if anything I'm glad you have someone new." Gabe says defensively and Tyler really can't argue with that. 

"Okay fine...I just get a little annoyed with everyone always on my back." 

"I get that, so how's she been?" 

"A little better physically, her ribs are alot better and there's nothing wrong with the way her bones are healing so I guess that's good." 

"It is, how about those bruises?" Gabe asks and Tyler sighs softly. 

"fading." 

"alright...something wrong?" Gabe's tone is knowing and worrysome. 

"Nah, just a long week." 

"Tyler..." 

"Gabe..."

"I know when you're upset, more importantly when you're hiding it." Gabe warns him and Tyler groans and slides off the fridge and into a metal folding chair. 

"Anna's been stressing me out." 

"what's new?" Tyler chuckles at this, leaning his head back and staring at the Styrofoam paneled tiles lining the ceiling.

"I think something's been going on here that she isn't telling me." 

"oh...that's odd." Gabe sighs and Tyler hears someone talking to him from the other line. "Mom stop...I'm...I'm talking to Tyler. Yeah, I'm aware of how strange that is, goodbye." he groans and Tyler hears a door shut, smiling to himself. 

"Intrusion?" 

"yeah sorry, so what do you think is happening?" 

Tyler rubs his temples, turning down the radio behind him to focus more on the phone call and less on whatever new Fall Out Boy song is playing. 

"I have a strange feeling about it. I mean, she was getting so much better, and now I feel like we're relapsing." 

"Hmmm." 

"She was talking about seeing Brendon..." Tyler trails off, looking through the blinds separating the lounge from the waiting room. 

"But aren't you the only nurse? Besides Sarah I mean?" Gabe asks and Tyler nods even though he can't see him. 

"I'm supposed to be. I hadn't even known until she told me. She got all nervous, shifty eyes and she started stuttering again." 

"Oh no...that sucks she hadn't stuttered in days I thought." 

"Well she wasn't until I brought that up." 

"you know I read that some kinds of mental illness can trigger stuttering." Gabe comments and Tyler tilts his head. Maybe that's why. Her stutter had always been sporadic, and at first he assumed it was just out of fear. Even if it was, then that would mean she links Brendon with fear which just unnerves him even more. 

"Yeah...so I'm not really sure what's been going on there." 

"Just ask him." 

"Gabe I can't just ask him." Tyler scoffs "He'd be offended or something if it really was just a miscommunication." 

"But would she really be acting that strange if it was just a miscommunication?" Gabe questions and Tyler sighs once more. 

"I'm not so sure..." 

"You know what you could do?" Gabe asks and Tyler raises an eyebrow

"what?" 

"Is there surveillance in her room?"

Tyler's mouth falls open for a minute. he hadn't even thought of that. This whole hospital was wired with cameras and even some mics just in case there were crimes committed inside, whether it be with a nurse going against hospital code, or a break in such as Grant's case. To Tyler at least, that was a break in and in some cases could even be described as assault, but he knew Anna would never have the courage to press charges. 

"uh...y-yeah there is actually..." Tyler is still beside himself over this. he needs to go look at all the footage from when he's been out  _and_ he needs to see just what went down between her and Grant the other week. 

"God I'm a genius." Gabe chuckles quietly and Tyler rolls his eyes as he jumps out of his seat and runs from the small lounge. 

In fifty five seconds flat he was darting into one of the storage closets, looking at the sheet of paper behind the door that located all of the external rooms besides patient's rooms. He scanned the paper while Gabe was silent on the other end, waiting for Tyler to finally speak. 

"Alright well there's a surveillence room across the hospital where  _everything_ is located...but there's a smaller one by the cafeteria..." He mumbles 

"I'd go to the one near the cafeteria first, you don't want to be too far away." Gabe says a matter of factly and Tyler nods. 

 _"makes_ sense. Ok, I'll go there." 

He knew that he may be crossing a line here, that this may be a little to out of his profession to be watching the surveillance but if there  _was_ something happening, he couldn't just let it slide and risk her possibly getting hurt, physically or even more mentally. That would be a train wreck in all honesty. She already has so much on her plate, adding on more assault and possible PTSD would just make her recovery all the more difficult for Tlyer and Anna to deal with.

The room was dark and dusty, t.vs lining the one far wall and two swivel chairs positioned in front of them. Thankfully, there was no one in there and it hadn't looked like there had been in a while. Some of the t.vs were broken and turned off, bare blank screens on contrast to the ones that were turned on, portraying different areas of the hospital that Tyler almost knew by heart, and he watched in fascination as people he knew walked in and out of frame, patients slept in their beds and nurses cleaned instruments. It was quiet odd in all honestly, and it made him slightly uncomfortable; like he was spying on them or something. 

His eyes flickered across the illuminated boxes until he spotted the numbers underneath 

_114, 113, 112, 111, 110, 109, 108._

he sighed and leaned forward, closer to the one tiny black and white box, and saw Anna sitting upright in bed tying her hair into some sort of knot behind her head with only one hand. As he stared he saw some letters in the corner of the screen that read;  _mic: OFF_

He raised a curious eyebrow and clicked on the letters with an outdated mouse, and felt the immediate urge to wash his hands afterwards.

_Mic: ON_

"oh shit...." He breathed, and at that exact moment Anna spun around, eyes wide. 

"what the fuck?" she cursed, dropping her hair and it tumbled down her back. 

"What was that?" Gabe asked and Tyler chuckled before turning the mic off. 

"I found her room's camera and turned on the microphone so I could talk to her." he laughs and Gabe giggles. 

 "say something!" he urges Tyler, who shakes his head in response. 

"Nah, she can't know I'm watching her. She be freaked out and besides, she wouldn't understand..." Tyler trailed off and Gabe made an approving noise. 

"yeah that makes sense I guess." 

Tyler nodded to himself and studied Anna as she sat back and pulled the covers around her, looking around the room nervously. This wasn't the best idea in the scheme of things because the minutes Tyler saw how scared she was alone, he wanted to spend every waking moment with her. 

With him she was tough, expressionless most of the time. Only in the worst times did she ever become at least vulnerable and now Tyler was able to see what she was really like. Despite how creepy it might seem, it was also very informative and helped him to determine just what kind of treatment she would be needing in the future. 

"Tyler?" Gabe asked suddenly, "Did you find the stuff from when you weren't there." 

"Oh right, sorry I was distracted." he admitted, quickly scanning the small closet like room for anything that could help him. 

he saw boxes full of t.v parts, old cracked screens, a box full of mouse's for the computer part. 

But he didn't find any old tapes. 

Did the hospital even keep the old tapes? 

"I...I can't find anything." He sighs, digging through more dusty boxes.

"are there any filing cabinets...anything in the basement maybe?" Gabe asks and at the same moment he sees a shiny beige filing cabinet on the left side of the dark room. 

"Oh score!" he mumbles excitedly and reaches over, opening the first drawer with a loud creak.

"What, you find it?" Gabe asks and Tyler puts the phone under his ear, propping it on his shoulder as he rifles through the drawer full of hard black plastic. 

"yeah I think so....what day should we do?" 

"Do last week when you went home for the afternoon." 

"ok." tyler mutters as he looks for the right date.

After about two minutes of listening to Gabe playing music in the background, Tyler found a file full of tapes from last week. Uncertain of what to do, he sighed in annoyance and just put the tape in the VHS player and pressed play. 

"found it?" 

"yep." 

Tyler watched as a whole new set of paneled lit up on the wall, displaying scenes from last week. He tried to fast forward to the afternoon after he left but it stopped short of the exact time he wanted. 

"Ugh this is taking so long..." He grumbled, watching as the little ant people scurried around in fast forward. Most of the video for room 108 was either Anna sleeping, eating with him, or talking with him. Once his ant person left the room however, Tyler resumed. 

It was Monday afternoon, exactly 12:24 when another person walked into her room. Anna shrank down in her bed, eyes wide even from far away. 

"What's going on?" Gabe demands and Tyler almost wants to hang up. 

"Hold on, someone's coming in..." 

Anna says something quietly that the mic doesn't pick up, and the figure comes closer. 

It's Brendon.

"Calm down sweets, this is standard procedure it's all ok." Brendon said and Anna tried to dart away, grimacing at the pain and doubling over. 

"Please go away." she pleaded, covering her face with her hands and Brendon steps closer. 

"Everything is fine..." Brendon said, almost looking concerned as she stared up at him with tear filled eyes. 

He didn't realize how much he looked like Grant. 

He never knew the details. 

He never heard her cry. 

He didn't know how to handle someone this traumatized. 

"Please...leave...can you just send in T-Tyler?" she asks, fear lacing her wobbling voice and Brendon smiles, shaking his head. 

"No he's at home, I'm supposed to help you while he's gone."

"He's fucking lying!" Tyler yells 

"what?!" Gabe screams through the receiver. 

"I can't believe it, he's fucking lying to a patient..." Tyler mutters and leans in closer. 

"We're gonna give you some more pain revilers because it seems clear that they aren't helping enough..." Brendon says before walking over to the monitor and looking at it. 

"No no no...I-I'm fine I d-don't need anything..." Anna whines, clearly understanding what's going on and is terrified. She knows that he is acting wierd, she knows Tyler's her only caretaker, she knows that Brendon is planning something bad. 

And the worst part is she can't defend herself.

"Shhh, It's all ok, it's in your folder this is what we're supposed to do." Brendon goes into the hall and comes back with a vile of the medicine, opening her IV bag and steadying it. 

"No no please can I ...can I j-just talk to T-Tyler first?" She begs and Brendon shakes his head. 

"he's on a break, we don't page people at home." 

"b-but Sarah has." Anna replies and Brendon frowns. 

"Well I'm not Sarah." 

Anna closes her eyes, leaning back and breathing through her nose. She's desperately trying to pull herself together. She has to be conscious to defend herself she has to be awake mentally. 

"B-Brendon...I...I don't need any-" 

"-yes you do." He says, popping the vile open and pouring it into the IV bag, hooking it back onto the monitor and standing back. 

"No no no, stop, STOP!" she shrieks, clawing at the IV's in her arm and crying hysterically. 

"Don't touch those!" Brendon commands, grabbing her wrist and pinning it above her head. Anna goes silent, eyes wide and afraid and Tyler can see Brendon's lips pulling into a sly smirk. 

"got you quiet now, don't I? Well you're gonna be really quiet real soon." He says ominously, keeping his grip on her tight and Tyler can just hear a faint whimper escape her lips. 

"I should've been the one assigned to you. I deserve the extra pay. Can't be that hard to take care of some mental case." 

Tyler makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, so does Anna. 

"I...I'm sorry." She whispers, so quiet Tyler almost can't hear it. 

"If you weren't so attached to Tyler, maybe I'd be paid better..." Brendon grumbles and Tyler can see her Adam's apple jumping in her throat. 

She goes to say something but Brendon cuts her off. "Maybe it'd just be better if Tyler didn't work here...or if you just weren't here.." Brendon mumbles and Anna says nothing, only sinks back into her bed, Her wrist still pinned above her as her eyes widen more an more out of silent fright. 

"how did I not know this was going on?" Tyler mutters, not believing or wanting to believe that this was actually happening. 

This was a threat. 

This was an abuse of power. 

This was everything they were trained  _not_ to do. 

"Tyler?" Gabe asks in a small voice and Tyler shakes his head. 

"this isn't good, it isn't good at all Gabe." 

"What are you going to do?" 

Tyler sighed, and continued to watch as Brendon released Anna's arm only to type something into the monitor. 

"what is he doing now?" Tyler asked himself, analyzing Brendon's movements. 

There was no hesitation. 

There was no worry. 

And then Tyler knew exactly what he was doing. 

Brendon realized he had said something wrong, he knew that she could tell someone that he threatened her...he...he was giving her _anesthesia_. Anna's face turned back to horror as Brendon typed things into the monitor. She whimpered a few times, turning into a completely different person.

Tyler had never seen her so...submissive. She always had some kind of fight in her but this tape was portraying someone totally different. This person wasn't arguing, wasn't yelling. They were  _pleading_ and  _begging._ Anna would never let Tyler just have his way with her as she allowed Brendon to. 

But then again he was a dead ringer for Grant. 

Then again he was more or less a replacement for that fear. 

If this is how she acted with him, submissive and willing...he didn't want to know what kind of things Grant did while she was vulnerable. 

Brendon tuts and makes small disapproving noises as he continues to flood Anna's system with drugs. After a few minutes her eyes were fluttering, her body going limp without any fight left. It almost seemed like it was out of a movie, Brendon just continuously drugging the poor girl as she sat expressionless, desensitized. 

Tyler fast forwarded, and saw her body fall back in quickly, Brendon padding around the room making it look normal, nice even. 

So that when Tyler got back he wouldn't suspect a thing. 

By now Tyler was  _furious._ Brendon was a nurse, he was not an anesthesiologist. He had no right to go and give her those kinds of drugs without supervision or a proper prescription. 

This was serious.

Tyler was upset. 

His whole job surrounds this poor girl and her recovery, and he hadn't even known that his co worker was drugging her behind his back.

He sat back, sighing heavily and his chest heaved up and down. Gabe on the other line being quiet and courteous. The tape was whirring and the video started playing rapidly, Anna tossing and turning as she slept, people walking by outside the room as if it were rush hour, and finally Tyler saw himself. He saw his fluffy hair and black scrubs as he walked over and Anna was now awake, smiling even. Not letting a single thing alert Tyler to what was happening while he was gone. He didn't even know if she had _wanted_ him to know; she had expressed her feeling about being a burden, a waste of time and Tyler hated it when she talked about herself like that, so negatively.  

"Is it that bad?" Gabe asks, and Tyler groans. 

"Yes, it is that bad." 

"What's he doing?" 

"He was giving her drugs she wasn't supposed to have and borderline threatening her." 

'WHAT?" Gabe yelled, and Tyler heard a faint voice in the background. 

"Quiet down G Bear." Tyler snickers quietly, not wanting to laugh but that's kinda hilarious. 

"shut up." Gabe scoffs. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not really sure, honestly it's not my place to say anything, he's a higher grade nurse then me...technically he's my boss."

"Tyler you have to do _something_ " Gabe says in opposition and Tyler sighs.

"he could be in real trouble."

"Don't you want him to be?"  

Tyler goes quiet. He does want that. He wants it so fucking bad. 

But is that really the right thing to do? 

_Yes._

_No..._

_why wouldn't you?_

_She might get mad..._

_Tyler you're being a such little bitch! You **have** to say something, it's against hospital code who cares if it's about her or not?!_

_I care, she wouldn't want to make it a big deal_

_Tyler you ca't just stand by while this is happening, I can't believe your even battling yourself on this_

"i do want him to be in trouble. I want him to be fired." Tyler admits and Gabe agrees. 

"alright then. I'll text you in two hours, call me though." 

"ok...bye." 

"bye." 

The phone clicks off and Tyler just wants to break down and cry. 

He's mad.

He's upset. 

Tyler was _devastated._  

He hadn't protected her, when he said that he would. He had  _lied._

At this point in time Tyler was half torn between wanting to go expose Brendon, or watch the video from when Grant came. 

After a minute of loud sniffling and deep breaths, he decided to watch Grant's tape from last Saturday evening. 

When he puts in the right tape the t.v crackles, sporting moving black and white fuzzy spots before transforming into a clear picture. Anna up in bed as usual, just sitting quietly and trying to read her book. Tyler fast forwards about ten minutes and presses play when Anna looks up. Her expression is calm and satisfied, happy even. And her eyes widen in expectation of him coming in the door. But he doesn't. The knob turns and she goes from relaxed to frozen, body paralyzed and not even her finger twitches as she goes to turn the page.

"thought you could fuckin run eh?" the same juvenile but deep voice asks, but it's more of a command. Anna's eyes grow twice in size as she stares up at the tall lanky man. 

"I....I...." she stutters, tentatively putting the book down and putting her arms in front of her. 

"Stop stuttering bitch." Grant waves his arm dismissively and Anna flinches slightly. Grant takes notice of this and rolls his eyes. 

"Jesus Anna stop playing the victim card." He groans and Anna's face goes hard and still. 

"I....I'm s-sorry." At the point when she stutters Anna visibly goes pale, even in black in white. 

"Sorry doesn't cut it you fucking waste of space. Do you have any idea of how much of an inconvenience this has been for  _me_?" Grant asks and she nods. 

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault I just got so overwhelmed and-" she tries to worm her way out of confrontation, talking slowly and calmly but Grant surges forward.

"You  _know_ you aren't allowed to leave the house without me! You know your limits Anna and you blatantly disobeyed me!" Grant shouts and Anna shrinks into the bed, the dark angry bruises littering her face not making any effect on Grant whatsoever.

"I'm so sorry. Please, just calm down and we...we can-" 

"Shut up bitch!" Grant shouts, Anna wincing at the noise and he throws his head back in frustration. 

"If you flinch one more time Imma give you something to flinch about." Grant hisses and she sits up straight, chest heaving and eyes cold. 

"yes..."

Grant huffs, walking forward and grabs her chin roughly, pulling her face to meet his. 

"yes what?" 

"yes... _sir._ " she whispers, hand twitching on the bed next to her and Tyler can't believe what he's watching. If he thought she was submissive with Brendon he was completely wrong. She was like putty in his hands, bending at his will and following his orders as if he were a drill sergeant. 

"I had to come all this was to fucking  _Springfield,_ I missed John's party that you should've been at as well." 

"Grant you know I don't like all those older guys..." she says quietly and lowers her eyes. 

"Too bad. They like seeing you and I wasn't going to deny them that." he scoffs, lifting her face back up and scanning her injuries with an almost concerned expression. 

"What the fuck did you do to yourself?" He asks. Not gently or in a caring tone, his voice is rough and accusatory, and it sounded like he was almost blaming her for something

 "I got in an...an accident." she admits, looking absolutely beside herself. 

"How much is this going to fucking cost me? You're like a fucking child." 

"n-nothing, I am going to pay." She rushes out the words and he throws her face away, wiping his hand on the side of his jeans. 

"fine. Less cash out of my wallet." 

Anna nods in agreement, quickly looking over at the window in the hopes of seeing Tyler walk by in the hallway. 

But he doesn't. 

Because he's still driving there. 

"So when am I taking you home?" he asks and she freezes, looking down at her hands and starting to shake. 

" _home?"_ she whispers, eyes large and frightened and Grants nods as if she's an idiot. 

"Um...I..I don't know how long I'll be here?" she says it like a question and Grant's eyebrows furrow in annoyance. 

"what do you mean you don't know? You have no clue how empty it is at home. I'm starting grow tired of not seeing your body." Grant tuts and Anna's shaking continues, only a frown appears and her bottom lip is wobbling. 

"My nurse...he said it would be...a-a month or two." she whispers and Grant throws his arms up. 

"what the fuck am I supposed to do for two months Anna?!" He screams and her face crumples. 

"It's not my fault!" she retaliates, bright sparks of anger burst out of the hollow vessel she was minutes before and Grant raises an eyebrow. 

"It's not?! You did this all yourself you pathetic whore!" 

"Maybe if you weren't hitting me like an asshole I wouldn't have had to come here to fix my broken rib!" She hollers and Grant clenches his fist, jaw tightened. 

"What did you just say to me?" He asks, voice quiet and low, Anna's confidence immediately evaporating. 

"No...I'm...I'm sorry Grant I-" 

And just as she begins to apologize for the fifth time Grant's hand is swept across her face in a quick and fluid motion, a sickening crack resounding through the mic and into Tyler's ears as he sits by and watches a scene that belongs in a movie. 

Not in someone's everyday life. 

Just the way Grant was talking gave Tyler a clear picture of what was going on at home, what she went through and how she tried to console him, always failing. 

"That'll teach you not to talk back. You're  _my_ bitch. And the sooner you get that in your thick skull the better it will be." he warns. Tyler expected her to start crying, to scream or even pass out. But she didn't, she sat still, unshaking. 

Her hair was splayed across her face from the force of the blow, darker grey starting to tint her cheek through the t.v and she sat motionless, eyes staring straight ahead as she avoided any type of contact. 

"fucking look at me when I'm talking to you!" 

She doesn't, she keeps her eyes forward and barely focused on the bathroom door across from her. 

"Anna,  _eyes._ " Grant hisses and her dark forest green orbs slowly make their way to meet his. Tyler had expected that reaction to the command. He knew she would do that because he had said  _the same thing_ when he first met her and she wouldn't make eye contact. He wondered if she had looked at him when he said that because Grant often did, or that she was just using her submissive instincts. 

"Don't you dare shut down now I swear to god." Grant mumbles, gripping her jaw again and moving her face side to side. Inspecting her, manhandling her. 

As if she belonged to him. 

"Now you listen to me alright? The minute you're out of here...the second, you call me and I'm coming to pick you up. No buses, no Gabby or I swear you'll get what's been coming to you since February." He says, and Anna nods in agreement, jaw clenched as he patted her cheek harshly and kissed her forehead. 

"remember, I love you." He said sweetly, almost fooling Tyler for a minute and this is when he understood why she never left sooner. Why she got tied up in the first place. he was an impossible flirt, charming as all hell and as much as he hated to admit it, good looking. 

But he was a complete nutcase. 

He gripped her wrist and pulled her close, whispering something in her ear that Tyler couldn't hear and as she tried to pull back his fingers tightened, causing her to yelp and at that moment he surged forward and kissed her on the lips. Tyler turned away and listened to her broken whimpers as he tried to force his mouth onto her before shoving her away and walking to the doors. 

"Bye babe." He said, leaving the room without waving and Tyler punched the t.v. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_9:12 pm_

Back upstairs he sat and contemplated his options. The first thing he wanted to do was console Anna, give her some affection because honestly, after watching  _that,_ that's all Tyler wanted to do for the rest of his life. 

The sun had gone down, the building was moderately quiet, and Tyler had planned on spending the night, partially because the electricity had gone out in his apartment but it's fine. Nurses and patients alike were waving to him as they left and or went to bed, and for the first time that day, it was actually quiet nice to see people. After watching stuff like that and seeing just how terrible people can be, it was nice to be reassured. 

  _111, 110, 109, 108_

Tyler took a deep breath and opened the door without knocking first, seeing the light on and assuming it was ok.

It wasn't.

Tyler could _smell_ the absolute  _devastation_ hanging heavy in the small hospital room, his hairs going on end as he pushed the door open fully and seeing the disaster in front of him. 

it was like a dream, Anna hunched over in bed, white covers strewn on the floor and plied around her as she sat gasping, holding a bloody pocket knife in her one hand and her bleeding wrist in another. "Shit! Fuck fuck fuck..." Anna mumbled over and over, eyes widening and filling with fresh tears the minute she saw Tyler. In a frenzy she tried to hide her arm, face ghostly pale and eyes almost black.

Tyler knew what to do this time, he had so much experience with this that there wasn't any way he'd be out in the hallway again. 

"Oh my- ok...ok...." Tyler whispered, his brain immediately shifting gears and putting him in full nursing mode. Instincts flooded his body as he had dealt with things exactly like this many times before. He rushed over, grabbing the knife from her hand and throwing it across the room.  Sharps resounding clangs followed the sharp blade as it skidded across the floor, a trail of thin blood following behind. She watched it go, eyes lowered and almost upset he had taken it away, until she looked up at him and saw the fear and disappointment. 

Anna was releasing racked sobs, her entire body heaving with broken cries as a wave of shivers ran up and down her back. Hair covered her face while crimson liquid covered both hands, arms, and legs. 

"Shhh, it's ok." Tyler cooed, pulling her arms apart and Anna sobbed loudly, thrashing against his touch. 

"Leave!" She managed to breathe out, voice shaking before she started crying once again.

"Shhh shhh it's alright, you didn't do anything wrong." Tyler whispered close to her face and she choked on her own tears.

Blood seeped out of her skin and covered his fingers, a thick gooey red substance that almost made him want to gag.  

It seemed she was trying to communicate, breath stuttering and mouth opening and closing, but all that was coming out were tears and rough coughs. 

"everything is alright Anna, you didn't do  _anything_ wrong." Tyler tried to reassure her, tried to tell her that she's safe, she won't be in trouble for doing this but inside he was scared shitless. 

Tyler released her arms slightly, and she curled in on herself, blood now covering her entire lower half and Tyler's arms. 

"shhhh, let's get you cleaned up..." He cooed softly, picking her up as she gave no opposition, and carried her to the bathroom. 

"t-t-tyler..." she whimpered, burying her face in the crook of his neck and shoulder. He just shushed her gently and cradled her, making sure she was ok and telling her sweet things so that she wouldn't feel alone. 

"you're gonna be fine, it's all ok I understand." Tyler said warmly, holding her body close to his before propping her up next to the tub and turning on the water. He knew it would take a while for it to fill up so he sat down and pulled her into his lap, knowing that is was unprofessional but it had always helped him feel safe. 

She immediately curled into him, sobbing quietly but with the same force as before. Tyler held her head to his chest and felt her shaking reverberate throughout his own body. 

"Anna, you're fine see? I have you, everything is and will be alright." Tyler felt a mixture of both blood and wet tears soak through his shirt and onto his skin, making him grimace. 

"You...you're fine...right? Yeah you're fine I have you." Tyler stumbled over his words, Anna continuing to cry violently. 

"Shhhh, calm down I have you sweetheart." Tyler shushed her, and soon loud sobs were we reduced to quiet tears. 

"I need you to look at me." Tyler said gently, holding her more tightly and she immediately looked up, forest green eyes darkened by fear. Large wet tears streamed down her face and her breath stuttered with the need to cry but she just couldn't anymore. 

"That's it, there's my girl." Tyler said softly, brushing hair out of her face and touching her cheek as softly as he possibly could. 

She flinched, crushing Tyler's heart and turned away, throat visibly tight as she clenched her jaw. 

"it's ok, you don't owe me anything, nothing at all." Tyler whispered, slowly turning and switching the bath dial to OFF and feeling the water before turning back to Anna. 

"Can I help you?" He asked and she just looked at him, completely miserable. 

"Anna please, help me help you." He begged, and she bit her lip hard, closing her eyes before nodding almost invisibly. 

"ok...ok." Tyler mumbled, slowly and carefully undressing her except for her underclothes and put her in the bathtub. She hissed at the contact with warm water on her skin and Tyler bit his lip and winced. 

It went by slowly, agonizingly so. Tyler had expected her to be crying, angry, or even shy. But what he got was completely different. 

She sat in the water with no movement as Tyler tried to clean the dried dark red blood off her pale skin. Her eyes glazed as she stared ahead at the red fingerprints on the white tile wall in front of her. Her body was tense, skin rough as Tyler rubbed it with a clean bar of pure white soap. 

"It's all going to be fine, as long as you stay with me. That's all I need." Tyler said and she blinked slowly, not looking anywhere else but the one rusty red hand print in front of her. 

She was almost dead, the way she sat motionless, expressionless, completely and utterly

desensitized. 

She felt nothing, no flinches when Tyler touched her, no noises escaped her mouth when they really should've. 

By the time Tyler was almost done the water was dyed a deep pink, new swirls of sharp red piercing the water's surface and twisting around underneath, spreading the pigment. 

He reached her arm and pulled it to him slowly, inspecting her cuts and how deep they'd been. Thankfully, they weren't too deep, and there had been no impact on her veins. 

"Is....is it b-b-bad?" she whispers, not even daring to look down at her arm. 

"No, not at all, it's an easy fix...everything is ok." Tyler says, smiling slightly and composing himself. He knows if he stays calm she will calm down as well. 

After washing all the blood of completely Tyler strained behind him to reach a roll of bandages from the bathroom vanity, drying her arm with cotton pads before wrapping it tightly. Anna watched him like a child with big eyes and and parted lips as he tended to her, following his fingers as he skillfully tied it and pressed the pins in gently. 

"See? It's all right...you didn't do anything wrong honey." Tyler whispered. 

"I....I'm so s-sorry." she whispers, eyes large and frightened, her voice hesitant as if he'd be upset with her. 

"Don't be. It's not your fault." he hums, grabbing a towel and helping her stand. Anna's legs wobbled as she tried to stand, swaying slightly once she was positioned fully. 

He helped her dry off, guiding her back into the darkened room, bloodstained sheets laying ominously over her bed like a murder scene and she looked away in shame. 

"You didn't do anything wrong." Tyler repeated quietly, taking the sheets and putting them in the hallway before grabbing new ones out of the far wardrobe. He held her hand and semi dragged her to the arm chair while he made her bed, tucking the sheets under the mattress and folding them over as he'd been trained to do. When he turns back around she's huddled in a ball, arms wrapped around her knees that are pulled to her chest. Her eyes are closed and the bags under them are a dark fleshy red, swollen from crying and still slightly bruised from older events. 

he sighed softly and turned the lights down slightly, unfolding the blankets and picking her up, and putting her in the freshly made bed, her eyelids fluttering at the touch but she made no attempt to open her eyes. Once she was tucked in Tyler sat in the armchair, and reached into her bedside table, taking out a blue glowstick. He cracked it and a moody, ocean blue color filled the room, illuminating her face as he put it next to her on the table. 

_blue is the color of defeat._

Tyler leaned back and watched her sleep, small tears sliding down his face as his breath stuttered like his words had. 

This was getting to be too much for her. 

But she was too close to him now, they were too similar and Tyler couldn't give up  _now._

 

 So he shall persevere, and he shall sit her beside her for ten years if he has to, just to make sure the sleeping girl in front of him is safe and happy. 

Because he missed that opportunity once before. 

And he wasn't about to fuck someone else up if he could help it. 

This was his time to fix things. 

So damn right he's gonna sit here. 

He'll sit here forever. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly at this point I don't care if you guys read and or like the story. At first it wasn't getting any attention and I thought it was ok because people would find it later on but I guess 12 chapters later people still don't want to read it. It's fine though, really, because this story has been really therapeutic for me anyway so there's not a chance I'm gonna stop now.


	13. Friday

_7:34_

Tyler is well aware of the smacking sound his shoes make as he walks down the almost silent hall. There's a woman at the very end weeping quietly, tissue pressed to her wrinkled face as she cries over someone she obviously loves.

He wants to comfort her, he really does.

But he doesn't know the situation and he was never very good at the mushy stuff anyway.

Instead he walks slower, quieter, and gives her a sympathetic smile that she returns with a sour looking scowl. 

His confidence plummets, face falling slightly and he speeds up. It's not his fault he knows, but she could've still been a little less hostile when he's just trying to be respectful or even caring. 

He didn't have to smile, didn't even have to acknowledge her. 

But he understands. 

She mumbles incoherent words about how he could've done something to help or that the nurses in the hospital don't do their jobs and silently Tyler completely agrees. 

He probably could've done something. 

He probably could've helped a lot. 

But he was walking down this particular hallway for a reason. 

And that reason had to do with nurses not doing their jobs.

He had successfully snuck out of Anna's room earlier in a hesitant state, glancing back at her sleeping frame more then once just to make sure she was ok before actually exiting the room.

He knew that she wouldn't be happy about him going behind her back, especially if the topic was her well being. She hated being the center of attention, hated seeming like she was a burden in any way. Tyler understood, he had felt that way before. 

Many times. 

Either way it had to be done, and she figured what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. One day Brendon would just not be there and she wouldn't have to worry about any of it anymore. Tyler would have protected her and all of it would be great. They'd be happy, she'd be healthy, she'd be safe. That's all that mattered. 

At least to Tyler, anyway. 

Quick looks over his shoulder and glances at hallway intersections led Tyler to believe that Sarah wasn't in her usual station, but in her office, which means that he has to walk all the way back up to the doctors quarters to look for her there. 

It was already 7:38 in the morning and Tyler was just going to go up to her room and just let shit hit the fan because why not? It was really too early to start so much drama, start such a production of them having to go to the efforts of dealing with Brendon but it had to be done and he was just finding out about it now so it really was time that something was done about it. 

"Oh hey Tyler! Long time no see!" A voice called from behind him and he turned over his shoulder to see Matty, holding an infant and nodding at him instead of waving because of obvious reasons. 

"Oh hi. Should you yell while holding that?" Tyler asked, cringing slightly at the sight of the small wrinkly human. 

"It's fine, they will sleep through literally anything." Matty shrugs and cradles the child in his arms, cooing softly under his breath in some sort of natural instinct. 

"Oh ok." Tyler mutters, looking around for something to distract himself. 

"How's Anna?" Matty asks, sounding genuinely interested and Tyler becomes protective almost immediately. 

"Good." 

"Are you sure?" Matty cocks his head sending locks of overly curly hair to bounce to the side, over his eyes as well as part of his nose. 

"Yes I'm sure. She's just having a little trouble adapting to living in a hospital." 

"Understandable." Matty says in some kind of agreement and Tyler doubts he's ever stayed overnight in urgent care. 

"Yeah..."

"you know, if she ever needs _anything_ , I'll always be available to help you out." He suggests and Tyler feels his stomach twist for his need to hate and respect this guy at the same time. 

"Thanks man...I appreciate that." Tyler responds cordially through gritted teeth.  

"No problem. I'm here to help. Besides, she seems to like me a little and I'd hate to see her upset." 

A _little?!_ Tyler thinks to himself _she likes you a whole fucking lot_

Tyler's opposition to his statement must be so apparent that Matty asks what he's making a face about. 

"Nothing man it's just, she really likes you. A whole fucking lot." 

He seems taken aback by this, raising an eyebrow and shifting the baby in his hold. 

"Oh. Well even if she does like me it's nothing compared to what you've done for her." 

Tyler almost _laughs,_ looking at Matty with an unreadable expression that he probably wouldn't be able to make out anyway. 

"Me? I haven't done shit, you make her so happy." Tyler argues and Matty shakes his head solemnly. 

"Dude, have you not even seen the way she looks at you? You're like the most influential, most important person she has. Do you really not see that?" 

Tyler shakes his head in disbelief. Matty is _not_ talking about him. 

Influential?

important? 

Those are not words commonly used when someone is talking about him. 

"Tyler, man, you hang the stars and the moon for that girl." He says and Tyler is sure someone has already said that before, he just doesn't remember who. 

"R-really?" 

"Yeah. What you're doing for her is really special. I'd be surprised if you two didn't end up together in some way. Friends or not, you guys will stay in touch forever." 

This Tyler doubts. He doubts that she thinks that highly likely want to talk to him after all of this. 

"Thanks Matty." He says though he doesn't believe a word he's saying. 

"Where are you of to?" 

"Trying to find Sarah." 

"Oh she's in her office," Matty says with a small chuckle "impossible to find her when you need her innit?" 

"Yeah...well I'll see you around Matty." 

"Alright, tell Anna I say hi, or I might just stop by sometime." He says and Tyler smiles and nods

 Matty exits stage right, down the hall with the baby in his arms fast asleep. Tyler continues on his way to Sarah's office almost loathing what will happen when he finally gets there. 

Heis going to tell her. 

All of it. 

Every single detail. 

About Anna's recovery 

about Brendon

about himself. 

All of it. 

On a Friday morning. 

He assumes it will go well, or at least he hopes it will. Sarah has always been a very lenient person, willing to help and eager to fix what's wrong. Tyler however, is only worried about Brendon. 

He liked Brendon. He was cocky, kind of an asshole, but he was nice enough to Tyler and that's all he could really ask for. 

_7:59_

"Hi Tyler what's up?" Sarah asks and glances over her shoulder at the boy standing by her office door, looking pale and nervous. 

But what's new with him. 

It was seemingly normal for him to look sickly. 

"N-nothing much, just wanted to t-talk." He says, trying to stay confident but his voice breaks multiple times. 

"Ok, about what?" She asks, tucking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear and looking up from the filing cabinet she was just rifling through. 

"What we always talk about..." Tyler sighs and sits down in one of the chairs across her small cramped desk. 

"Anna?" 

"Anna" 

"what about her?" 

"She's not getting better." Tyler says simply, carding fingers through his too fluffy brown hair and sighing softly. 

"Tyler she's still adapting. Her physical state is improving well and-" 

"-and she's still a nervous wreck. Still not ok in the head." Tyler hates the way he says it but in the moment he can't think of anything else to say that sounds right. 

"I know that. She's going to start some treatments associated with trauma. If we can't find her parents or anything we may have to put her somewhere where they specialize in that area." Sarah says calmly, looking through a file with squinted eyes. 

"What? Like a mental hospital?" 

"Sort of, yes." 

"No." 

Sarah looks up, eyes wide and lips parted. "What?" 

"No. She can't go to a mental hospital!" Tyler argues, a little louder then he meant to. 

"Tyler if we can't do anything for her here what are we supposed to do?" 

"Try harder!" 

"You said it yourself. She's not getting better and I agree. When her injuries are healed properly we are going to look into different options." 

"Sarah we can't-"

"-keep her here. We can't keep her here Tyler this isn't an orphanage." 

"She's not an orphan!" 

"Then where are her guardians?" Sarah asks and Tyler's shoulders slump.

"I...I don't know." 

"Exactly." Sarah concludes and that word is followed by a long string of undisturbed silence. 

"Anything else?" She asks and Tyler fidgets in his seat, looking at the door and the nurses passing by. Some in a rush, some not. Different scenarios for each and every person.

"Im her only caretaker, right?" 

"Yes." Sarah says immediately, putting down a stack of manilla envelopes and looking at him. "Why?" 

"She said something about Brendon coming in sometimes." Tyler remarks and Sarah frowns a little. 

"Hmm. Maybe he's just checking in. You do that with other patients too. I wouldn't worry about it at all." Sarah says and Tyler stands up slowly. 

"But. But I am worrying." He says carefully and Sarah tilts her head to the right, gray blue eyes concerned.

"Why?" Her tone is sharp, demanding. 

"I...I checked the surveillance." Tyler says in a high voice, cringing slightly at the memeories and Sarah looks absolutely appalled. 

"What? Why? What did you see?!" She panics, never experienceing anything like this before and honestly her reaction is scaring Tyler shitless. 

"Brendon." 

"And?" 

"Giving her anesthesia and threatening her." Tyler rushes out his words and Sarah's  mouth falls open wide, a hand flying to her forehead and she makes a small noise in her throat. 

"Shit, fuck Tyler why didn't you say anything sooner?!" 

"Because I had to deal with her slit wrists!" Tyler yells and Sarah gasps, hand now dropping to her mouth. 

"Jesus Christ Tyler! Ok...ok um what are we gonna do....?" She mumbles to herself pacing back and forth and finally she stops abruptly, spinning on her heel and pointing at Tyler." 

"You're taking her home tonight."  

Tyler raises an eyebrow "home? What home?" 

"Your home" Sarah says and he shakes his head. 

"No, no I can't. It's too small I don't have any equiptmemt I-" 

"-I don't care. She's not safe here. With Brendon and what happened with her boyfriend, if she feels that attacked and uncomfortable then she has to be removed immedietly and we don't have anywhere else to send her. You have to." 

"Sarah-"

"-Tyler. Please." She begs, eyes watering just the slightest but it's enough for Tyler to just give in and agree with her. 

"Ok, fine. She stays with me." He sighs and Sarah nods. 

"But what about her IVs and all of that?" 

"Don't worry about it, I was gonna try to get her off it anyway. I'll bring some stuff if you really need it." He can see the gears shifting in her head, planning all of this out piece by piece. 

"Sarah what if she doesn't want to go?" Tyler hadn't thought of this possibility yet, even though it was probably gonna happen. She barely knew him, it's only been a few weeks after all. 

"Don't worry about that, she adores you. She trusts you. Even if she's hesitant I know you have the power to coax her." 

Tyler doesn't _really_ agree, but he nods none the less. 

"Ok, go collect her and take her home with you. You don't have to come back until I tell you to. We'll be in touch so don't worry. You aren't going to return until I sort this out." 

"Sort it out?" 

"Look at the tapes myself and figure out what to do with Brendon." 

"O-ok." Tyler says quietly and looks at the ground. He didn't want Brendon to get fired, even if he deserved it. This was a good job and Brendon had expressed many times how hard he's had it with money this year. 

"Ok um...I'll call you in an hour. Sign out, go get Anna, and take her home with you. Bring her prescriptions and everything she came with and under no cimcumstance will you talk to Brendon if you see him. Do you understand?" 

"Y-yes I do." Tyler nods in agreement with everything that Sarah says, even though it's rushed and the words and somewhat slurred. 

"Good, go on." Sarah shoots him away and begins frantically logging onto her computer, presumably to watch the tapes and to page Brendon, wherever he might be. 

Tyler starts to speed walk through the corridor, not letting the panic on his face show too much. It's ok for him to look rushed but if he looks scared shitless them someone is sure to stop him and ask what's wrong. 

Lucky for him it's easy to make its look like nothing is wrong. 

_114_

_113_

_112_

_111_

_110_

_109_

He slows his pace, looking around catiously and seeing absolutely no one. In a flash he opens the door to her room, trying not to just burst in. The least he can do is act calm for her sake, he doesn't want to scare her more then she already is. 

She's awake thankfully, Tyler didn't have to want to wake her. Her eyes are tinged red, from crying or just being tired he doesn't know but it still unnerves him anyway. 

"Hi." He says shyly, walking over tentatively  and taking her cold hand in his. She looks up through a curtain of hair, curious at why Tyler is acting so strange, but happy to see him, knowing he didn't forget. 

"Hi." She says softly, returning his shy attitude that she only used one third of the time. 

"So...we have to talk about something but it has to be fast." Tyler rushes out, cautiously looking over her face to make sure she understands and isn't getting unnerved. 

"O-ok...what?" She asks, voice cracking and she cringes. 

"I know about Brendon." Tyler says quickly, watching in slight confusion as her face makes no expression whatsoever. 

"What about him?" She tilts her head like a puppy and keeps her eyes cold and dry. 

"Anna I know about it all." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." She retorts, crossing her arms and huffing, sending wisps of hair floating abover her eyes and falling back into place. 

"Yeah probably probably because..." he stops himself, thinking about what he's saying before he ruins everything

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" A slight waver in his voice tells her that he's testing their relationship and neither of them want to own up to anything, it's in their nature. 

"Yeah, of course." She replies, no emotion whatsoever in her words.

The air is heavy, the atmosphere in the room almost a standoff as Tyler silently begs her just to admit to all of it, to tell him she needs him because she's lost and waiting to be found. But she won't. She sits, defiant and too proud for her own good. She wants to, she really does but it's just not gonna happen, not today anyway.

Shes not ready to let him see, let him see it _all._

Because honestly, this is just a sliver, just a crescent showing, only part of the full moon she could be. What she could be if she just tried.  

But it's only when Anna starts picking at her thumbnail is when Tyler just _snaps._

"Don't you trust me at _all?_ " She looks up at this, face twisted into a solemn frown that makes him really regret what he's just asked her. 

"...I...don't you think I should just handle my own problems?" She asks incredulously, eyebrows furrowing and lips pulling into a frustrated pout. 

"Don't just change the subject into an argument you can't back up." Tyler retorts, "why can't you just trust me?"

"Oh I can back it up, what, you think I can't do that? Just like all the other things in my life?"

Tyler is taken aback, looking down at the girl on front of him with disbelief. 

How had things gotten this out of hand?

What had he done to create this complete mess?

Was it really _his_ fault?

of course it was, that's what she said.

"Anna this isn't about that."

"about what? It's obviously about me for some reason. Why can't you just leave me be?" She sounds like a teenager, and though she is it's uncommon, even rare to see her act so juvenile.  

"Leave you be? I'm your nurse Anna I can't just let someone come in here and fucking threaten you, drug you and do whatever the hell they want! Is that what _you_ want? To just be used and abused like a fucking doll that someone's ripping in half and sewing back together?" 

"Very poetic." She mocks him, rolling her eyes, the first part of his sentence completely flying over her head. 

"Did you even hear me?! I know what he's doing to you, why wouldn't you fucking tell me?!" 

"How do you even know Tyler?!" She screams, hands flinging up to her head in a gesture of anger. 

"I...I watched the tapes from the other week and saw!" He says, and she sits up straight in her bed, a defensive position as she scowls.

"Why were you watching the tapes?" She asks in a cold voice, eyes lowered.

"Because I wanted to make sure you're safe, I want you to be happy."

"What's gonna happen to him, is he going to be fired?!" Tyler assumed she would look happy but it's the complete opposite, she looks horrified and slightly frustrated.

"I'm not sure yet but he most likely will."  

Her mouth falls open, a small "o" forming on her face and it completely crumples, her body starting to shiver an tremble as if it had gotten suddenly chilly. 

"No, no you guys can't do that!" 

"Why?" 

"Did you tell Sarah?!" She cries, scooting to the left and trying to get as far away from the open door as possible. She eventual,y scrambles out of bed,which puts pressure on her leg and she grits her teeth to suppress the pain. Before she knows it she's falling onto Tyler's chest and looking extremely furious about it.

"Yes."  

"How could you do that?!" She screams, and Tyler holds her to his chest, desperate to calm her down because what else is he going to do?

"I....I don't know." He says quietly and Anna continues to shake, forcing herself away from his embrace and looking at the open doorway with wide, scared eyes. 

"...how?..." she repeats, voice weak and racked with dry sobs. He still doesn't understand why she's acting like her dog just died, or her best friend even. 

"Anna....Anna...calm down." Tyler coos, reaching out for her but she shoves him away and sits down on the bed behind her. 

"What the fuck are you doing to me?" She mutters to herself, looking around the room looking panicked.

Tyler stays silent, hoping that she'll be able to calm herself down as she can when she's alone. 

She doesn't. 

"Fucking say something! Say something like you fucking care!" She hollers, lungs constricting and Tyler takes a step forward, now starting to shake himself. He doesn't like being yelled at, he never has, this was horrible. 

This was not what he had planned. 

This was _not_ what he had planned. 

"Don't you know you can't do this! You can't just keep messing up my life then go home and come back and think it's all gonna be ok! You're just gonna leave again and he'll come back! Grant will come back! I'm not fucking safe if you keep screwing up my life!" She screams, lungs undoubtably constricting painfully and Tyler can hear it in the way her voice is ragged. 

"Anna I'm not trying to-" 

"-But you are! You are and it's destroying me! I can't stay here I can't do this! I can't do it anymore!" She yells, eyes closed tight and fists clenched, fingers and hands twitching. 

"You don't have to stay, don't worry I am going to take you home."

her face jerks upwards "home?!" 

"Uh...home. My home. My apartment." 

"What the fuck?!" She cries, jumping up and pushing a finger into his chest. 

"You think you can just do that? Just take me _home_ and think it'll all be over?" 

"I...I uh..." Tyler doesn't know how to explain to her that it wasn't his idea. 

He hates seeing her so beside herself. 

Shes completely terrified. 

Of what, he's not so sure. 

But he knows he can't really calm her down at this point. 

He looks down at the finger digging into his skin and he realizes what's happening. 

Shes resorting to the methods Grant used. She's r,e,Bering what he used to do and is using it to release her own frustration with herself. Shes yelling and beating up Tyler because she's angry at herself. 

And he's ok with that, he's fine with it. 

Whatever it takes. 

"You what? Huh? You're so _dumb_ for thinking I can be happy!" She spits, eyes hot and burning through his skin. 

"Anna stop!" He retorts, voice strong and demanding and she doesn't, she breaks down in quiet but violent sobs once again, beating his chest with her clenched fists, strong hits getting softer and weaker each time until Tyler can't feel it anymore. 

 "I don't want to live anymore." She says in a voice weaker then her hits. 

"I know...I know..." Tyler coos, voice breaking each time because he does know, he knows exactly how she's feeling and it's _killing_ him that he can't just _help_ her. 

She didn't want help. 

But she needed it. 

Tyler knew that deep down she knew it too. 

But working for happiness is harder than just having it. 

You shouldn't have to work to be happy, it's not fair. 

But some people are special, some struggle, sometimes it's just really hard to look on the bright side when everything is in the shadows. 

"I know you do." She whispers, burying her face in his shirt and shaking softly, keeping her voice down only so that Tyler can hear it. She doesn't want to be seen like this, heard like this. 

Tyler knows that she doesn't, he knows it kills her to look vulnerable.

To look weak. 

But to show your weakness is a strength. 

Only the strongest seek help

Only the strongest survive. 

"Here's what we are gonna do," Tyler starts, pushing her away gently and holding her face up to look at his. 

"We are gonna grab your meds, your bag, and then we're gonna go to my apartment." 

She doesn't object, only tucks her messed up wavy brown hair that had been dimming over time behind her ear, looking away from him with equally dull green irises. 

"Ok?"

"ok." She whispers in a cold voice, dropping down on the bed and watching as Tyler takes the hint, and starts packing her things for her. 

Thats the least he can do at this point. 

 She watches like a hawk as he goes around the room quickly and silently, grabbing scattered articles of clothing, a few of his own embarrassingly enough, and other miscellaneous items. Her book, a hairbrush, the iPod, a few glowsticks left over from the pack, and the backpack that was stuffed under her hospital bed. In the tattered bag he finds things that were never mentioned, such as a cassette player with no batteries and a postcard with some Ramones lyrics on it. 

She also doesn't say a word as he digs through it, knowing that there's nothing in there worth making a fuss over, not even blinking when Tyler sees a couple tampons and blushes furiously. He's a nurse, he's studied this shit and he's blushing at tampons. When he's done putting everything in it, he places a few rolled up bandages and her medication in the front pocket, zipping it closed and putting t beside her. 

"Ready?" He asks, and she looks around the room wondering if it's the last time she sees it. 

Its not monumental in anyway. This wasn't her home, this wasn't anything. It was a dusty old room where she had stayed after jumping in front of a car for gods sake. 

"Yeah." 

Tyler helps her get up, and from there she's placed in a wheelchair, giving Tyler a nasty glare that he tries to ignore. 

He knows. 

He knows it demeaning, he knows it's a little dramatic, but it's not his fault she can't walk on her own.  

"Do I really have to?" She asks, looking up at him with a frown.

"I'm sorry."'is all Tyler says in response and she scowls, scoffing loudly and staring at the chair as if she could catch it on fire with her eyes. 

"This is so dumb." She seethes. 

"I know." Tyler decides it's in his best interest if he just agrees with everything she says, make it easier for her. 

She hugs the backpack in her lap while he wheels her out, clinging tightly to the military green colored bag with patches sewn onto it. He sees Green Day, the Killers, Blink 182, and a few colored pins from various bands he's never heard of. Whenever she got this old bag though, had to be long ago because the straps were fraying and it just had an overall disheveled appearance. 

"I feel dumb." 

"I'm sorry." 

"I know." 

"...ready?" 

"Now or never." She replies, subconsciously rubbing her thumb over a Green Day patch sewn into the front of her bag. Tyler recognizes the American Idiot font and art style, a heart in a mouse trap. 

How ironic.

Once they start to walk her attitude changes completely, shoulders tensing and expression stiff. 

"You alright?" Tyler mutters under his breath and she nods once, staring straight ahead. 

Nurses walking past say hi and wave at Tyler, and he reciprocates the actions politely, Anna sitting silently below. He figures it's strange for her to see faces other then his and Sarah's for the first time in weeks. 

They take the elevator down to the first floor, a song by My Chemical Romance playing but Tyler doesn't know which one. Anna hums along quietly, watching the numbers above change ever few seconds.

Luckily they get to the front doors seemingly unnoticed, Tyler squeezing her shoulder in reassurance and she flashes him a grateful smile.

"I never thought I'd leave here." She says under her breath, tapping her fingers on her knee.

"Yeah, but look, you are." Tyler says, looking on the bright side of things for once.

"I guess." She agrees, holding her breath as the automatic doors open and surprisingly chilly spring air greets them.  

"I hate this parking lot, too open and dark. Budget cuts left us without lights." Tyler says, looking up at the sky, clouded with dark grey bundles of condensation just ready to start pouring over the small city. 

"Oh." Anna breathes, leaning forward slightly and observing the "nature" 

"You haven't seen this in a while, have you?" Tyler asks and she shakes her head. 

It was like a child going to the beach for the first time. Her head spun in different directions, drinking in the dark coal asphalt, the sun desperately trying to shine through the overbearing clouds, planes booming ahead, the noise was somewhat comforting. 

"Which car is yours?" She asks, sounding excited beyond words and Tyler was slightly embarrassed to point out the only beat up Acura in a sea of BMW's. 

"it's so nice." She exclaims in a quiet voice as they approach the car, and Tyler only blushes a little bit, surprised at how she's so easily impressed. 

"What kind of car do you drive?" Tyler asks casually, just trying to keep conversation as he digs in his pocket for the keys. 

"Car? I....I drive a uh...a...my dad's Jeep." She says, seemingly flustered and Tyler's eyebrows instinctively draw together. 

"Oh, nice." 

"Yeah." She nods, as if she's solidifying her own statement.

being the gentlemen he is, Tyler opens the passenger door and holds her hand as she shakes while trying to stand, looking up at him for reassurance and he smiles warmly. Once she was in the seat, buckled in and already looking around his dirty car, Tyler starts to fold up the wheelchair and puts it in the surprisingly empty trunk in comparison to the rest of his car.

"It's as if you live in here." Anna chuckles once he starts the engine, marveling at just how much _stuff_  he fit into his car. 

"You never know what you might need." Is his response, laughing when she picks up a broken umbrella, the sharp metal spokes detached and hanging limply from where they were supposed to support the system. 

"Sure." She scoffs playfully, throwing her head back and hitting the headrest behind her, giggling quietly. 

As they exit the parking lot and make their way up the road, Tyler can't help but be a bit confused at just how _amazed_ Anna is. She sits nose almost pressed to the glass, watching every tree pass, every bird fly by, every other car speeding past. 

"Haven't you ever been outside?" Tyler laughs and she looks over at him, rolling her eyes and returning to the window. 

"It's a new place, with you. I want to memorize it." She says quietly 

"Alright." Tyler chuckles, resting his elbow on the window to his left and leaning his head on his arm, steering with one hand and watching the yellow lines disappear beneath the car.

"I'm surprised you've never been to Columbus, living in Springfield and all."

"I've seen it once or twice...can't remember. But no, I have never really _been_ to Columbus."  Tyler nods, thinking about where she had come from. Springfield is nice enough, but everyone in Ohio usually has been to Columbus for fun, as tourists, or to visit family. 

"Good that you get to see it now anyway, even if it's under bad circumstances." 

"Yeah...you have any music?" She asks and Tyler completely forgot about that. He can never drive without it, so it surprises him that he forgot it this time. 

Distractions, he figures.

yeah, distractions. 

"Mhmm, there's AM radio and some CD's in the console." Tyler gestures to the box between them, remembering that he had threw some in amongst other garbage at some point. 

"Oh ok." She nods and smiles, reaching over and opening the box and Tyler looks over to see her digging through it, flipping CD's over and reading the titles, examining the cover art and seeing what songs are on the back. Once his eyes were back on the road he heard her giggling. 

Giggling. 

"What?" He asks, eyes still focused on the sedan in front of him with numerous stickers on the back that said stuff like "I love my cocker spaniel" and "who rescued who?" 

He always thought that people with dog stickers drove terribly, more so then others. 

She starts to try and stifle her giggles, prompting Tyler to look at her and what he sees makes him immedietly flush a deep crimson color. 

"Damn Tyler, I never thought you were such a player." Anna laughs loudly, throwing her head back and watching Tyler go pale as a ghost. 

"Shit uh, I'll just...don't touch those, here." Tyler splutters, grabbing a small blue box from the bottom of the console and throwing it in the backseat, making Anna laugh harder. 

Of course. 

Of course she found the fucking condoms. 

"In my defense I haven't used those in years." Tyler says in a rushed, defensive tone. 

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" Anna laughs, making Tyler's blush deepen. 

"No...I suppose it's not." 

"Sorry, sorry." Anna giggles as Tyler shakes his head. 

"You've really got something for wanting to embarrass me don't you?" 

"Nah, it's just that you get embarrassed really easily." She teases, finally deciding on a Tears for Fears CD, popping it in the player and waiting for a song to play. 

One the device reads the disc Tyler recognizes the opening to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"

 _"Welcome to your life, there's no turning back.."_  Anna starts bobbing her head along to the tune, stealing quick glances at Tyler as he drives, making him both nervous and confused. 

Man she was good at...whatever this was. 

One of her most attractive qualities was how curious she is. And he was well aware of that as she studied him carefully, eyes taking over his face as he stared at the road in front of him, just trying to stay in his lane. 

"so how far away is your house?" She asks and Tyler corrects her. 

"My apartment actually, and not that far, five minutes maybe." 

"Oh well that's a fine commute." She says and Tyler nods. 

"Yeah it is, especially when I'm needed as soon as possible." His tone is a little bit of a blame towards her, and he knows she can sense it.

"I'm sorry." 

"No it's fine, really. I kind of hate being alone." 

She pauses for a second, hesitating before she speaks, "then why don't you have a partner?" 

"I...I....well, I did." Tyler says slowly, quietly, and he feels like he's trying to explain something to a child. 

"Oh I get it...a breakup." She says solemnly, looking back out the window but facing straight, as if not wanting to turn her back on him. 

You could say that. 

They definitely broke up. 

"Mmhmm." He hums, aligned higher then expected. 

"Can I ask why-" 

"-I, I'd rather not if you don't mind." Tyler splutters, gripping the wheel tighter and Anna notices, reaching over and putting her palm on his knee. 

"You don't have to, it's alright sweets." She soothes, patting lightly and Tyler sighs. 

He needs to get over it. 

He's trying to get over it. 

He has to get over it. 

There's a light layer of silence hovering over the two, just listening to Roland Orzabal sing about peace or whatever. 

"You know, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'll listen." She says softly, a light, smooth voice making the world a better place in Tyler's opinion and he nods, pulling into the parking garage. 

"So are we close?" 

"Yeah, it's just across the street." At those words Anna turns around, looking all over for the building even though she would have no idea which one it is. 

"Hey hey calm down...just let me take you there." Tyler says with a slight laugh and she huffs in annoyance, slumping in the leather seat and watching Tyler park.

"can I try and push myself?" She asks and Tyler shrugs. 

"Sure, just let me pull it around for you." 

Once she's situated in the chair, Tyler steps to the side and she puts both hands on the metal ring around the wheel, pushing forward and laughing joyously when it moves. 

"Look!" She gasps when she exits the parking garage by herself, now on the sidewalk. 

"Alright, that's enough. You have a broken arm I don't want you to hurt yourself." Tyler tuts protectively, walking behind her and pushing. 

"Fine mom." She giggles and looks over her shoulder, smiling with eggshell colored teeth and bright mossy green eyes. People passing on the streets look at the two curiously, most likely wondering why she's so hurt, and why Tyler is wearing scrubs when he normally wears jeans. Not that he actually had friends, or talked to his neighbors, but it was still rare for them to see Tyler with anyone, especially a girl.  

They cross the street, coming up to a large, tall, apartment building made up of red brick. 

"this is beautiful!" Anna exclaims, craning her neck to see the top of the stack of brick Tyler calls home. 

"It's not much." He says quietly, propping open the door and letting her wheel herself in. 

"Nah it's wonderful." 

Thats a word. 

Wonderful. 

This must be, for her, wonderful. 

After living between friends, family, hospitals, and Grant. Tyler would assume this place is wonderful. It's wonderful because it's his. It's free. There's no other person that it belongs to except him. 

"I guess it is,"'he agrees, pressing the button on the elevator and she jokes about why they couldn't take the stairs. 

"Oh my gosh I can't wait!" She squeals when they approach his door, the dented steel somewhat welcoming to the both of them.

"I can't believe your so excited about this, thirty minutes ago you wanted nothing to do with me." Tyler chuckled,putting his       keys in the door and turning. 

Once the door was open however, Anna was hesitant. She didn't really seem to want to go in for some reason. 

"What's wrong?" 

"N-nothing. I....I..." She stops short of finishing her sentence, looking into his apartment cautiously. 

"Anna, what?" Tyler encourages, and she wipes her face. 

"Never mind. Just...déjà vu I guess." She mutters, rolling in slowly and going to a far corner. When Tyler closes the door she flinches, when the door is locked she shakes. 

"It's alright...everything is fine honey I'm not a bad guy." He whispers, turning the chair around and seeing red eyes. Like he had seen this morning.

"I..I know you aren't." She sniffs, nodding as if to convince herself and she forces a smile, looking throughout the room. 

"It's beautiful. I love it." 

"A bit messy I'm sorry, I'll clean it when you go to sleep, which you should probably do if you want to avoid brain trauma." 

"Oh...ok." She seems disappointed that Tyler wants her to sleep when she obviously wants to look around. 

"You can...sleep in my bed-" 

"-what?" 

Tyler raises an eyebrow at Anna sitting in front of him with her head titled to the side in confusion. 

"What?" Tyler asks 

"Shouldn't I sleep on the couch?" She asks, in disbelief that Tyler would even mention that she would be sleeping in his bed.

"are you kidding me? You've been sleeping in a hospital bed for weeks, you have a broken arm, leg, and rib. You are not sleeping on a couch." He crosses his arms and shakes his head. 

 "Tyler I can't-" 

"-sleep anywhere except a bed. And I only have one so you'd better just agree." 

She pauses, sighing lightly and looking around once more, taking in the whole room. The one brick wall in the kitchen area, the dusty brown leather couch. Cautiously she eyes the dark hallway that leads to his bathroom and a single shower. That'd be a struggle, Tyler thought, getting her to bathe with a broken foot. 

"Ok..." she said,minding slowly and scratching her wrist where the IV's had been. Tyler knew he was going to have to keep an eye on her, ask her how she's feeling more then ever. 

"Alright, if you want I can change the sheets and everything, I didn't really have any opportunity to clean." He admits, gesturing to the clutter scattered throughout the home. It wasn't as bad as usual, but it still looked like concrete evidence that a bachelor lived there. 

"No it's fine, you don't have to go to all the trouble." She said quickly, standing up and carefully walking to the counter where she sat on one of the stools Tyler had gotten from a garage sale out of town. 

"So it's just you here? This is it?" She asks, and Tyler nods. 

"Yep. No pets, no roommate, just me and that plant." He chuckles, waving a careless hand towards an almost wilting houseplant in the corner of the room where the tv stand is. 

"That sucks, is there a view?" She asks, and Tyler laughs. 

"Well that's the thing, there's a beautiful view but it scares the shut out of me so I just keep the curtains closed." He walks to the large rectangular windows and pulls the heavy curtains aside, revealing a large portrait of the airborne city, large skyscrapers framing the small apartment building and Anna gasps quietly.

"Jesus!" She exclaims, jumping up and wincing slightly but ignoring it.

"What?"

"That's a million dollar view if I've ever seen one!" She says happily, stumbling almost gracefully to the window and pressing herself up against it,mlooking down at the people below.

"This is amazing." She whispers and Tyler comes up behind, pressing a hand to the glass.

"I guess."

Anna turns to him, hair framing her face in loose carefree waves and she looks at him as if he's stupid. "Are you kidding? This whole place is a dream." She sighs wistfully, dramatically, and Tyler chuckles.

"yeah." 

She stands and watches the people below for a while, just observing what she can lay her eyes on because it's so different than anything she's ever known. Tyler wonders if she's even ever been this far off the ground. 

"So...sleep?" He asks and she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes.

"Ok, fine."

Tyler tells her to wait a minute before she comes into his room, mostly so he can at least make it look half as presentable as he would want it to. In a frenzy he throws dirty clothes into the hamper laying in the closet, not really caring whether they were dirty or he just hadn't put them away yet. He grabs crumpled pieces of paper laying on his nightstand and discards them, whether they were important or not. Lastly he fixes the tangled sheets and turns upon the fan above, just to try and make an attempt to air everything out. There is a balcony to the right of his bed, a small one with dead plants hanging over the side, a sad attempt at being green and trendy. On a whim he closes only one curtain, leaving half the doorway open in case she wants some light. 

"How many more condoms do you have to _hide_?" Anna yells jokingly, sounding exasperated and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"Sorry I'm just hiding the five women I've kept hostage in my closet!" He responds and hears Anna burst out laughing. 

"Can I come in now?" She asks and Tyler just huffs, running a palm over the blue sheets of his bed and hoping it looks ok. 

"Yeah, sure." He grumbles, and two seconds later Anna is peeking in, pupils expanding in the dimmer light and she tentatively opens the door wider.

"You do realize I've slept outside before, this is a luxury." She says after a little, holding onto his bicep until she's steadied herself enough to stand.

"Well that's good, and it looks like your leg is getting better."

"Yeah, I just hate being helped, so walking on this may be a pain in the ass but it's better then wasting your time." She answers casually, head turning around to examine everything.

"I like your room." She says and Tyler smiles, internally hoping he didn't have any childhood pictures or embarrassing objects laying around for her to see. 

"Thanks." 

"So how long have you lived here?" 

"A few years, not too long." 

"So where's your family? There aren't any pictures?" Her head goes to the side and Tyler shrugs, hands at his sides.

"don't have the best relationship with them." Is all he says and she nods. 

"Me neither, but who needs em?" Tyler laughs at this, stepping to the side and taking her backpack off her back where she had put it. 

"Not me!" She chuckles enthusiastically, though Tyler can see how her eyes become sad and cold.

She walks along the outline of his bed, trailing her fingers across the mattress and just staring at it. Nothing else. All day she's just been assessing everything and not looking away. Her headspace had been consistent but it was strange to see her so foucused, memorizing so much. It was as if she'd be gone the next day and just wanted to remember it while it lasted. When she sat down, the bed made almost no noise whatsoever, she just sank into the comforter with ease and looks up at Tyler. 

He hopes that she won't be gone the next day. 

"Your surprisingly calm." Tyler notices, and she nods, she's convinced that she's calm as well. 

"Well what should I be? Nervous? Anxious? Completely horrified that I'm in the room where you get changed?" The minute she finishes speaking her eyes go wide, and she purses her lips. She's obviously surprised she said that aloud. 

Tyler however, laughs it off and watches as she blushes a deep crimson, now avoiding his eyes and probably wishing she hadn't said anything at all. 

"Well, yeah." Tyler chuckles and she just sits with her mouth closed. 

"It's alright, you are actually the first girl to be in my room I think..." Tyler rubs his face and looks at the window. Anna makes a noise of opposition. 

"I doubt it..." 

"no I'm serious." 

She raises an eyebrow, impressed or suprised, Tyler doesn't know. 

"Oh. Well then I'm....honored." 

"I'm glad." Tyler laughs "I'm also glad you are better. I'm sorry it's been such a shitty morning." 

"It's alright. I've had worse." Anna shrugs, feeling the sheets with one hand and pulling at her earlobe with another. Tyler nods in understanding and starts to unpack her bag, putting her clothes on his dresser and the other objects next to it. 

"You wanna know something?" She asks out of the blue and Tyler cocks his head. 

"Sure." 

"When I was younger I had to have special sheets." She says nonchalantly and Tyler gives her a weird look. 

"Why?" 

"I had or...have SPD, which is-" 

"Sensory processing disorder." Tyler says a matter of factly and Anna smiles. 

"Yeah. It was kinda like ADHD but not as major I guess?" She taps her cartilage with her index finger and sighs. 

"I would never have known if it makes you feel any better." 

"I don't really care either way. It didn't really affect me. I still had a lot of friends and good grades so what's a mental illness?" She laughs dryly and Tyler's suddenly concerned. 

"How did your parents know?" 

"Oh it was obvious apparently. I screamed when they put certain clothes on me. I would gag when they fed me food with weird textures. My mom used to get so fed up with me. I'd cry when she put socks on me, shirts, pants, they were always too tight." 

"That's...strange." Tyler says slowly. 

"Yeah, it drove them crazy. I also put _everything_ in my mouth. Rocks, sand, bracelets, scissors, you name it." She laughs, a real one this time, and Tyler smiles. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah...not so much anymore now." She smiles, remembering, and Tyler can't tell if they're good memories or bad. 

"You know, it's weird. I've never told anyone that. Like, not even my best friends. You must be pretty special for me to share that. I always hid it like some sort of secret cause I thought it made me fucked up in a way but I guess not." 

"No way, youre perfect." 

"And you're too nice. Tyler I don't deserve this, or you." 

"We've been over this a million times, you do, I love you, and that's all" 

she rolls her eyes "you just think I'm faking all this." 

"No, I noticed you were always a little off, and the touching was pretty major even though you have other reasons in regard to that. Also, the thing with the hospital gowns was concerning."

She shrugs, "I thought I always hid it pretty well." 

"To the untrained eye maybe." Tyler smirks and Anna giggles

"Oh geez, call in Dr Grey." They both chuckle and Tyler decides this is a good place to wrap things up. (Like this chapter wtf it's so long) 

"I hope these sheets are satisfactory then." He teases and she rolls her eyes. 

"I've told you before, I've slept outside." She retaliates and Tyler shrugs. 

"Well then, I'll leave you to sleep. If you need me I'll be right out there. Most likely cleaning." He smiles and she nods once, suddenly pulling off her shirt with no warning and Tyler spins around so fast he almost hits the door. 

"Jesus Anna!" 

"What?" She laughs, and Tyler presses his forehead against the wall. 

"What the heck are you doing?" 

" _Tying to_ _seduce you_." She says in a low voice, accompanied by a burst of high laughter. "I'm kidding. Did you not see the sports bra?" She giggles and Tyler rolls his eyes, grabbing a shirt from the pile on the dresser and throwing it over his head.

"Thank you _so_ much." She gushes, sarcasm dropipoing from her lips and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"The first time I bring a girl in my room and she starts to strip!" Tyler says as if he's beside himself, though his joking tone is gathered by her easily.

"You poor boy." She pouts and Tyler blushes slightly. 

"Ok I'm done, your poor virgin eyes may see me now." She announces, and Tyler rolls his eye more, crossing his arms and he sees her in nothing but the same oversized shirt she spore the first day he met her. The freckles on her shoulders had diminished a little, smoother skin peeking through and she seemed to be slightly upset about it. 

"I'll be back soon, get some sleep." Tyler concluded, watching as she breathed out through her nose and blinked slowly, eyes scanning the room. 

"....ok?" He asked, and she sighed heavily and rolled her eyes back into her head. 

"Ew don't do that." Tyler cringed and opened the door, stepping out and she said a quick "g'night!" Before it was shut. 

"Ohmygod ohmygod." Tyler whispered under his breath, pressing his back to the closed door the minute it had shut. 

In the background he could hear shuffling and slight creaks, and he hoped Anna was finally settling down. 

He hoped. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I do have SPD, and all the things mentioned were things I did as a child. It's weird, writing about me as a kid for a bunch of strangers, but oh well


	14. Friday Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for you, you know who you are my fren <3

It was actually great timing, perfect even. 

The minute Tyler walked into the living room his phone began to buzz, vibrating on the table and he catches it before it slides off. He glances at the screen and lets out a string of mumbled curses before picking it up.

"Uh, hey mom." Tyler sighs, picking up the phone and walking to the couch, leaving Anna to sleep. he didn't want her to have to hear him argue with his own mother. 

"Hello Tyler, I figured you would be at work." She almost scoffs, making Tyler roll his eyes. 

"Well I was, but something came up so I went home. I'm still being paid though." He added, as to not further disappoint her. 

"What came up? You have no other responsibilities" it wasn't really supposed to be a criticism but it came out as one.

"One of the patients, it's not really something I can talk about." He tried to play it off as classified but they both knew he was going to tell her in the end. 

"Then why are you at home?" 

"I....I uh..." 

"Tyler?"

"I had to get something?" 

"That's bullshit, they have everything at the hospital you could need." 

"Mom stop why do you need to know so badly?" 

"Because if you're at home then you aren't working so..." 

"Jesus mom I can take care of myself!" 

"Do not take the lords name in vain Tyler Robert Joseph!" 

He rolled his eyes, having heard this a million times before. 

"Ok...sure." 

She stayed quiet before speaking "where are you actually?" 

"I'm at home mom!" He whisper yelled, trying not to cause a disturbance in the otherwise tranquil apartment. 

She sighed heavily, "I'm not playing games Tyler." 

"Mom what the hell? I'm at home why are you so worked up?" 

"Because for all I know you could be in an alley somewhere shooting heroin!" She cried, tyler pinched the area between his eyebrows. 

"I promise, I'm not doing heroin mom, I'm just at my apartment." 

"Then what happened to your morning shift?" 

"I had to take care of something." 

"Shouldn't you be taking care of people? That girl you're assigned?" 

"Actually I am." Tyler said quietly, trading to patronize her but it didn't really work. 

"What?" 

"I am taking care of her." 

"Is she at your  _house?!"_ His mom gasped

"y-yeah. She is, intensive treatment." He shrugged to himself as if to say 'whatever, it might work' 

"Tyler..." 

"Kelly..." 

"what were you thinking? Taking a patient to your apartment?!" 

"Mom she's fine, she's sleeping right now-" 

"-in your bed?!" He thought she might've had a heart attack from how loud she shrieked. 

"Yeah mom, you want her to sleep on the floor? She has a broken arm, leg, and rib cage!" 

"That's no excuse...how old is she anyway?" 

"Nineteen." 

"Tyler!" 

"Mom can't you get this through your head? She's MY PATEINT!" He whisper screamed, cautiously glancing at the door.

 "Tyler you're going to ruin her. She's so young, she has a chance." He knew what she meant by this, and he was so close to just throwing his phone at the wall.

never the less she continued. 

"You are  _not_ qualified to take care of another human, especially a  _broken_ one. You can't even take care of yourself." Every word she spat was so real, so true, as if she was reading off of some sort of paper he had written in his subconscious. 

"I've been trained-" 

"-bullshit. You think you can just be her savior and all that shit don't you? Does she even know your last name? How can she trust you?" 

"We both have very equal trust, and a great relationship." 

This statement seems to fly over her head as she continues to bash him through the receiver, still hitting as hard as it would in person.

"Does  _she_ know? Does  _this girl_ know how fucked up you are?" 

"Mom I-" Tyler tries, not acting to go this far when he well knows she won't hesitate to. 

"I bet you didn't tell her about your own hospital stays, how you were admitted for months on end." 

He goes quiet, swallowing hard and staring at the wall. 

"Have you told her about the phsyc ward? I bet she'd love to stay with you after hearing about that."

"Mom, she-" 

"does she even know that you had a imaginary friend until you were 18? Does she know you scratched your arms until the skin peeled away and bled?" 

"You know it wasn't like that." Tyler says defensively, barely holding onto the phone at this point. 

"Oh I do know Tyler, I got daily reports. I know how you would cry in frustration like a little girl and bang your head against the wall for hours."

He swallowed, looking at the door with more focus, trying to blur out her words. It would be so easy to just hang up, to shut her out but for some reason he just couldn't do it. 

"I...I..." 

"if she knew who you were she'd never want to see you again." 

"I'm not that person anymore." He spat, turning away from the door. 

"We both know you are. Slitting your wrists, jumping off bridges, trying to kill your self any way poss-" 

And the phone was dropped, just like that.

the clatter it made on the hardwood floors as it bounced across the hardwood wasn't as satisfying as a shatter would be. He wanted to see glass, see shards of sharp demented triangular shapes and he wanted to cut his fingers on it while trying to clean it up.  

There was nothing left to do to distract himself. 

He couldn't go to work. 

He couldn't go outside. 

He couldn't go out to eat. 

He couldn't go get another tattoo. 

God he wanted to. He needed to. He needed the pain, the needle. 

But he couldn't leave Anna alone, he couldn't pay for it, and if he resorted to getting tattoos every time he wanted to kill him self he'd look like Andy Hurley.

 Instead Tyler waled to the dining room table, which was essentially just a wooden table wit three chairs because that's the most company he's ever had. Slowly he folded his hands and let his face fall, resting is forehead on his arms and exhaling loudly. 

She's supposed o be his mother for gods sake. 

why can't she just have some goddamn faith in him?

He stayed like that for a while, just laying his head on the table and mulling over the things she had said to him, about him, what she thought of him. '

maybe he was really just a big disappointment, a waste of life. she could've had a way better son, more obedient and an asset to her life and the others in the family instead of a burden. 

"T-Tyler?" his head flew up to see the previously mentioned girl in the hallway across from him, standing pigeon toed and nervous, holding the hem of her shirt. 

"I didn't hear you get up." is all he says and she just shrugs almost invisibly. 

"sorry." 

"No, its fine. How are you feeling?" He asks and she just shrugs. 

"Normal, I guess." 

"how'd you sleep."

"Ok." 

"do you need anything?"

She either hesitates or is thinking but Tyler can't really pinpoint her emotion. 

"no...I'm ok." 

There's noise in the hallway that makes her jump, instinctively surging towards Tyler and he fights a stupid smile, welcoming her presence. 

she catches her breath for a minute before speaking. "I heard you." 

"hm?" 

"On the phone." 

"oh I'm sorry about that, my mom being a mom." 

she nods, looking at her bare feet on the hardwood and looks up again, eyes droopy and hair a mess. 

"If you want you can go back to sleep, I'll order a pizza and wake you when it comes." Tyler suggests and she nods slowly, rocking slowly on the balls of her feet and glancing at the open window. 

"that sounds good." 

"ok, lets get you back in bed then." he encourages, getting up and leading her back into the dim room, looking at the bed that looks like she'd had a seizure in. There was a pillow on the ground, the sheets tangled and the comforter almost falling off the side. 

"I'm sorry, I...I move around a lot. sleepwalk too." she mumbles and Tyler just nods understandingly, guiding her onto the bed and fixing the sheets. 

He turns his back to leave, maybe watch some food network but she grabs his wrist and pulls him back. 

"can you....can you...maybe stay?" she asks nervously, like he'd say no. 

he actually considers it, saying no. 

she knows he's considering it. 

"Its just...dark and...different and it feels like I should'nt be here and-" she tries to continue but Tyler just shushes her and sits next to her, staying stiff and on top of the sheets, trying to stay respectful. They've slept in the same bed numerous times, it just feels so different in his own house. So much more private and vulnerable. Its also so much personal. his is his bed, not just some hospital bed. And this is his house, not just some hospital room. 

"Thanks, she says quietly, inching further down and resting her head in the space between Tyler chest and the pillow.

He exhales slowly, trying not to make too much noise and Anna just lays with her eyes to the ceiling, her hands tucked into her chest. 

"I feel like....it feels as if I'm taking someones place." She speaks slowly, and Tyler tenses up. 

"What? Am I?" She asks, leaning on her forearms and looking up at him with curious eyes. 

"No. No you're not..." he says, trying not to sound as if he's sad about it, sad about what she's saying. 

"Are you sure?" She questions, nuzzling his side slightly with her cheek. 

"Yeah, don't worry about it." 

"I'm not." She says casually, leaning on him and she exhales. 

"You know, I think we both have a lot of secrets we're probably not ready to tell each other." She says quietly. 

"I agree." Tyler mutters, closing his eyes. 

"Well do you want to change that? Because I have a lot of questions." 

"I may or may not have answers." Tyler chuckles lowly. 

"Tylerrr..." she whines, "you have to be honest with me." 

"Well then, to be honest, I'm not sure you should know everything about me." He mumbles and she raises an eyebrow. 

"Why?" 

Tyker hesistates. He knows that his mom is right about a lot of things. His past, and how horrifying it could be to a nineteen year old. She is basically living with a clinically insane person, and god knows how long she'd stay after finding that out. 

He isn't good enough, he's a freak and he doesn't deserve the attention and affection she's so willingly offering. 

"Why?" She repeats and Tyler just shrugs, scooting over. 

"Just...because." 

"Because...?" 

"Anna please I don't want to get into it right now." Tyler sighs, rubbing his forehead and the girl slinks back, drawing away and lowering her head. 

Shit. 

"No no Anna I'm sorry." Tyler rushes out, heart breaking at the fact she's looking so...unwanted. 

"It's ok." She mumbles, eyes flickering up towards him nervously. 

"I shouldn't have said it like that, it's just that I have a pretty....boring...life." He stumbles over his words, trying to just get her off his tail because he knows how stubborn she is and he knows she won't quit. 

"Oh...ok." She nods understandingly, though when she looks away Tyler knows her eyebrows are furrowed. 

"So..." she says after a few minutes of comfortable silence "in a figurative manner, if a seventeen year old went missing, would it be considered minor?" 

Tyler opens his mouth, then shuts it, looking over at her. "I'm not sure...why?" 

"I was just wondering. Because you know, since I'm nineteen, maybe people wouldn't think it's as serious." 

"It's still serious either way, and you aren't missing." Tyler reciprocates and she nods slowly. 

"But what if no one knew where I was?" 

"Don't they?" 

"Well, my mom thinks I'm at a friend's...so if I never come back and my 'friends' have no idea where I am that may raise suspicious." She says, sighing loudly at the thought. 

"You should probably let her know?" 

"Let her know what? That my abusive boyfriend broke my rib so I jumped in front of a car and now I'm miles away at a strangers house in bed with him?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, as if to say 'how stupid can you get?'

"oh..." is all he says, blinking twice and folding his hands to keep them from fidgeting. 

"Anyway...if I end up not going missing, where _do_ I go?" It now sounds like she's just talking to herself, asking this question to really anyone that'll listen. 

"You could stay in a hotel room, find a small job...but I think the best option for you would be....to just stay here." Tyler says under his breath, not wanting to see her face but to his surprise she's smiling. 

"Wait, really? I can stay here?" 

"Well...yeah." He says quietly, still nervous about what she might think about him if she finds out. 

"Tyler!" She yells happily, tilting her head and smiling bright and wide, eggshell colored teeth between light pink rosy lips. 

It looks as if she's mearly a little girl, curled hair framing her face, splotches of brown freckles across her face and bright green eyes shining with joy. 

Then it drops. 

"No...no no no I can't stay here." She mumbles, looking down at the table sadly. 

"Well why not?" 

"B-because this is your life. I've already interrupted so much and now I'm just intruding. I can't-" 

"-yes you can. Trust me, there was nothing as interesting as you happening before." He assures her, patting her thigh with a gentle palm. 

"But that's too much. I can't expect you to just house me, feed me, clothe me. I'm more then just a pet, I'm a burden." 

Tyler shakes his head, "no you are not. You aren't a burden you're a sweet, caring,  beautiful girl that I'd be glad to room with for as long as needed." He says sweetly and she smiles so brightly, so genuinly, Tyler thinks she might cry. 

 "You're too sweet, I don't deserve this." She mutters, wiping her face. 

"You do. Just because people have told you that you don't doesn't mean it's true." He says, replacing the hand on her face with his own, softly caressing the soft skin with a calloused palm. 

She only nods, smiling softly to herself and making tiny happy noises at the feeling of his soft touches. 

"See? It's all ok." He solidifies the statement with a gentle smile, and a thumb swipe over her cheekbone. The past few weeks had put more muscle and fat into her body, giving her features more rounded shapes and her appearance a healthier state. 

Her eyes were always wide and curious, green envious eyes always looking about for something new. She twitched, her face going into minuscule spasms, her neck twitching for a millisecond, her nose pulling to the sides. 

Her jaw was healed, dark bruises on the bone now healed, leaving a prominent but not sharp jawbone, and delicately sculpted cheekbones, devoid of foreign splotches that once painted her face. 

"I....can I....." she started, her demeanor changing drastically and she became shy and skittish, looking at Tyler for permission to speak. 

"Hmm?" 

"Can I..." she gestured to her hair and torso, looking borderline ashamed and Tyler somehow understood. 

"Shower?" 

She nodded, looking away. 

Tyler only smiled and helped her up, guiding her once again to his bedroom then the connecting bathroom. She stared at the white tile wall, so similar to the subway tile in the hospital. 

"You...you need to have your boot wrapped." Tyler sighed, helping her sit atop the counter as he grabbed a plastic bag and tied it around the thick black boot concealing her injury. She grimaced at the feeling of plastic on her skin but tightened her jaw and stepped down anyway, wrapping her own arm with a slight frown before she showed him away. 

Outside the bathroom Tyler sat on the bed, looking around the room while he heard humming and water running behind the door in front of him. 

This would happen everyday now. 

She would be living with him now. 

He would be buying groceries, clothes, razors, conditioner. 

Oh. 

The water stopped abruptly and Tyler froze, knowing that something was wrong because no one takes a two minute shower. 

"Tyler?!" A terrified voice came from behind the door and he scrambled to his feet from where he'd been sitting, running into the room. 

"Fuck, turn around!" She screamed and he did, probably getting whiplash while doing so. 

"Yes?" He gasped, feeling his chest expand with every exhale. 

"Can you...get my backpack?" She asked in a tiny voice and he did, sprinting to the other room and snatching the bag off the dresser, closing his eyes before handing it to her between the glass door of the shower. 

He carefully exited the room, and she let out a string of muffled curses for about a minute that Tyler really couldn't explain. 

Then he could, but he wouldn't tell you. 

At least now he's glad he wouldn't have to buy pregnancy tests. 

Catching his breath and staring at the door, Tyler finally had a clear vision of how hellish the next couple months would be. 

"Thank you!" She called in a happy tone moments later, and Tyler smiled to himself before laying back on the bed and burying his face in the sheets that now smelled faintly of lavender and laundry detergent. There was something else there, pineapple and coconut maybe? Whatever it was, it smelled vaguely of sunscreenor hair product. He couldn't tell if it was part of the detergent  smell or if it was its own individual scent but either was it was pineapple and it smelled damn good to him. 

Everything was good. Everyone was good. Everyday was going by and every time he felt sad it really wasn't that bad.

So in short, everything was to go very nicely during the next few months. 

At least that's what he hoped. 

The door behind him opened quickly and before he could register what was happening he was falling backward and staring up at Anna, a smile on her face and her body wrapped in a black towel. 

"Nice view ty guy?" She asked and he blushed at the name, rolling over and letting her pass. He continued to say in his position while she was changing, and rose to his feet to see her digging through her backpack, eyebrows furrowed in intense concentration

"what do you need?" He asked, coming up next to her and looking down at the olive green dress she was wearing. It was light and flowly, up to her knees in length with stitching going up the whole dress. The back was an extremely low triangle that showed off absolutely no bra whatsoever. 

 "I'm not really sure.." she hums, papers and other objects clattering inside the thick fabric

Tyler looks over her shoulder and watches while she picks up random papers and receipts, crumpling them and throwing them back in the bag. 

"What's the point in that?" 

"Never you when you'll need them." She explains, shrugging. 

He takes a chance, resting his chin on her shoulder, and she tenses but stays still none the less. 

"Why do you have so much stuff?" 

"Didn't know how long I'd be gone." She sighs tiredly, pulling out a box of matches and Tyler frowns. 

"Why do you have matches? You smoke?" 

"No," she laughs, shaking the box. "It's my jewelry." She opens it to reveal two silver rings, one with a hand and a heart and one with a light blue/silver stone.

theres also a few necklaces, all silver and some sort of blue pendent. 

"Why are they all the same colors?" He asks and she smiles, tongue peeking out between her teeth. 

"I like silver because it reminds me to be humble, and blue is the color of the ocean." She says lightly, tilting her head so it touches Tyler's. 

"how is silver humble?" He laughs and she giggles quietly. 

"It isn't, but it's still not as luxurious as gold." She sighs, picking up one with a teal pendent of St. Christopher. 

"I like them." 

"Me too." 

"How'd you get this one?" He asks, picking up a shiny silver ring with two hands holding a heart. 

"It's an Irish thing. When you're in a relationship, you switch the ring around so it faces you. When you're not, it's the opposite. I bought it with my cousin." She smiles down at it sweetly, remembering the moment. 

"You're Irish?" 

"Mhmm." She points to her freckles and makes a face. 

"Well I knew they came from somewhere." Tyler chuckles 

"yep...." she shrugs, collarbones protruding out of her chest and she rubs her throat, near the bottom where a necklace would lie. 

"So what do you want to do?" Tyler changes the subject, and she turns to face him, unnormally close. 

"Whatever you want to." She whispers, leaning forward and Tyler's breathing starts to quicken. 

"Anna-" 

"-what?" She mumbles, eyes flickering along his face, looking for something. 

"I-" 

he holds his hands up in opposition, or defense, but the minute his hands are raised she flicnhes back, wincing. 

"Oh, no no I'm sorry I-" 

"it's ok." She whispers, hanging her head and breathing slow and labored. "It's ok, I know." 

He steps back, crestfallen. She thought he was going to hit her.

She thought he was going to hurt her. 

She thought he'd do that to her.

"Anna I'm so, so sorry." He apologizes, and she just waves him down, looking up with a smile.

"It's fine Tyler, I do these things sometimes." She hops forward and hugs him tightly, burying her face in the divot of his neck.

"Ok, as long as you're fine."

"I am." She hums, her Boise soft and warm against his skin.

They stay like that for a while until he speaks.

"Do you maybe wanna, try that again?"

She removes her face, looking up with disbelieving smirk. 

"What exactly are you proposing?"

"Uh...I... I don't know-" he starts, and she cuts him if when she steps on her tip toes to face him directly.

She smiles, and he leans forward, slower and slower until their lips are connected and she's grinning against his mouth.

"I've been waiting for another." Her voice is high and raspy and Tyler holds back a low whine that surprisingly rises in his chest.

"Then there you go." He says simply, stepping back and holding her hand.

"Lets go, I bet you're hungry." He says and she just sighs, rolling her eyes and rocking forward on her feet.

"I have everything I need right here." She murmurs, trying to kiss him again but he smiles and her attempt is virtually futile.

"Lets calm down, it's still early and you're probably tired."

She just rolls her eyes obnoxiously and storms away, making him laugh as she flips him off over her shoulder.

"Be careful on that leg!" He calls and earns a nasty glare.

She's a real piece of work.

But she's _his_ piece of work. 

And he wouldn't want it any other way.  

 

 


	15. Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HALFWAY THROUGH WRITING THIS DUMB ASS CHAPTER THE PAGE RELOADED AND DELETED IT ALL IM PISSED ASF THIS IS OVER I CANT

Tyler wakes up to the smell of something burning.

somethings burning. 

His eyes fly open and he almost falls off the couch he's been sleeping on, whipping his face around to look at the kitchen, because where else would a fire happen?

"shh shh it's ok!" Anna yells from the kitchen and he tilts his head and smiles, watching as she pours a cup of water over the stove and cringes at the hissing noise it makes. 

"What are you up to?" He asks from behind the couch, laying back down. 

"Trying to make you something?" She says it like a question which makes Tyler laugh. 

"Trying?" 

"Well its proving to be more difficult then I anticipated..." she murmurs, clinking and banging coming from behind him. 

"Seems so." 

"Before I pour my heart and soul into this meal for you do you like eggs?" She asks and Tyler laughs out loud, peeking over the couch at her. Her hair is pulled into an extremely messy ponytail, a multicolored headband holding the wispy flyways out of her face. Her freshly trimmed eyebrows are pulled together in concentration while she cooks what he assumes is some not very good food. But he appreciates her trying.

"Stop staring you're ruining my creative flow." She reprimands him and he chuckles before looking away.

"What are you making anyway?" 

"Bachelor frittatas." You can literally hear the smile in her voice and she laughs lightly.

"Why bachelor?" He asks and runs a hand through his hair.

"Because the only things in your fridge are what bachelors would have. Except the frozen fruit, that's a little suprising." 

"Is it?" 

"Yeah." 

"I like to make smoothies sometimes, sue me." 

"Wait you have a blender?" She gasps and Tyler laughs

"yes."

"Where?!"

"It's under the fruit bowl in that cabinet." He explains, peeking over the side of the couch once again to see her rummaging through the cabinet.

"Oh...here it is."

"What are you gonna do with it?"

"Make you a smoothie, duh." She huffs and he rolls his eyes.  

"Thanks honey." 

"Don't call me that." She chuckles, throwing an orange from the kitchen and it hits Tyler's chest. 

"Ow!" He yells over dramatically, clutching his shirt with fisted hands. 

"Oh shush." 

"IVE BEEN SHOT!" He gasps, falling off the couch.

Anna's laugh rings through the apartment, a high chirp and Tyler smiles into the carpet, getting to his feet and walking into the kitchen. 

"No stop I don't need help!" She argues, pushing Tyler away when he tries to take the spatula. 

"Cmon I wanna be an asset." 

"No, go sit down somewhere else." She pouts, grabbing the spatula and eyeing Tyler as he grabs the carton of orange juice and starts drinking it. 

"Ew Tyler." She rolls her eyes and he makes a defensive sound. 

"I thought you didn't even like orange juice?" He asks, putting it down and she nods. 

"I don't, but you still shouldn't drink it like that." 

"As you wish princess." He yawns, putting the carton away and sitting at the island. 

"Don't call me that either." she huffs, leaving against the stove and balancing a plate on her elbow, which impresses Tyler thoroughly. 

She walks across the kitchen to get to the fridge, hand in her hair and plate still on her arm, the eggs on top not moving an inch. 

"Hmmm." Tyler watches her move, the subtle sway of her hips and the green dress floating around her frame. If she were any other girl he'd think it was weird she was wearing a dress in the morning but she had told him that it was only twenty dollars, and quote unquote "the most comfortable thing ever, besides my blue sweater." 

 "How are you so good at that?" He asks, and she turns around with a raised brow. 

"What?" 

"The plate" he says and her eyes light up. 

"I used to a a waitress on the weekends. Cliche at best." She smiles and puts the plate in front of him, a lone egg. 

He chuckles and picks up a fork, poking at it with a soft smile. 

"Never said I was a chef though eh?" She asks, wiping her hands on a dish towel maybe six times sporadically before finally leaning against the counter and watching him, her arms folded over her chest and eyes expectant. 

"You never did." Tyler agrees, nodding and taking a bite, hiding his grimace and she bursts out laughing. 

"Choke it down or I'll kill you!" She teases 

"oh god." He shudders. Tyler sant even remember when he bought the eggs in the first place. Do eggs even go bad? 

"You eat what I cook and you like it." She scolds playfully, cracking her neck before wiping her hands off for the seventh time and walking back into his bedroom. 

He smiles and watches her leave, dress swaying at her legs and she spins around, smirking. 

"Hate to see me go love to watch me leave eh?" She asks, leaving Tyler to sit at the counter deadpanned while she closes the bedroom door. 

It honestly baffled him how much she could change in a day, it was almost as if she was bipolar. She could go from being shy and quiet, to screaming and picking fights.

There were two Anna's, Anna number one he saw most of the time. She was quiet and submissive, only talking when she had to and following instructions without opposition. Anna number two he saw much less of, she was happy and motivated, silly and willing to test him. Bratty and independent. He liked Anna number two because he knew that's who she really was, and Anna number one was who Grant had trained her to be. When she was herself, Tyler didn't quiet know how to handle her, because she'd snap at him and if he took it she keep going, as if she wanted a fight.

As if she wanted him to yell, or reprimand her.

He assumed that's how her relationship with Grant had gone, her annoying him until he snapped and she got what she wanted. In a sick way Tyler almost thought she wanted to be yelled at. She missed Grant.

But that can't be possible.

So it must be her inner conscious. She needs the rules and regulations and structure in her life and the only way she'll get that is if he yells at her, lives her life for her.

Thats what she's used to, anyway.

So he'll just have to teach her that's not the right way to live, that she's her own person. Tyler didn't see a future where they aren't together if he's being 100% honest and if it doesn't work out that way then he hopes she's safe and happy, successful and in love somewhere else.

After "finishing" his breakfast, Tyler and Anna both go out grocery shopping, Anna's idea and one that Tyler was definitely not opposed to when it came to what he currently had in his kitchen. She was unusually optimistic, a slight hop in her step despite the small boot on her leg. She had one of his sweatshirts over her dress so that she could tuck her casted arm into the pocket so that people wouldn't stare. 

Because people would stare even if she wasn't in a cast and boot, that's just the kind of person she was. Its just the fact her injuries are so serious and they attract the kind of attention you wouldn't want. 

While they walk through the aisles Tyler smiles fondly at Anna while she scolds him about healthy eating, telling him with a job like his he has to have a good diet so that he's strong and well. It takes everything he has not to ask her about her eating habits, especially since she seems to be so worried about his. She picks up cans of soup, a bag of rice, flour, sugar, baking powder, things Tyler didn't even think to buy. While he waited for the butcher to cut turkey she sat in the shopping cart with her legs folded, humming to herself. He stood by her protectively and asked her about her favorite things to eat, what her mother used to make. 

"Well I'm gonna make you my favorite thing she made later, but it's a surprise. I really like salad though, I know it's boring but you can do so many different things." 

He chuckles and ruffles her hair, she pouts and tries to fix it before huffing frustratedly. 

Tyler walked up and grabbed the turkey and cheese from the butcher before throwing it in the cart and before Anna could get out he started pushing it, making her laugh. 

"Tyler!" 

"What?" 

"C'mon!" She giggles, swatting his arms until he stops and helps her climb out. 

Tyler takes her to the alcoholic beverage section, and she rolls her eyes while he tries to figure out what he wants. Tyler doesn't usually drink but it's nice to have some beers around just in case. Anna on the other hand is sighing dramatically every few seconds and tugging on his arm. 

"Just...hold on." He encourages 

"Tyler I can't even drink this hurry up." 

"I never said you couldn't drink it." He says casually and her eyes light up. 

"Wait what?" 

"You've been through hell, and if you want a beer or two at home with me then go ahead." He shrugs and she laughs in disbelief. 

"No way." 

"Yeah sure." 

"But you'll be able to in two years its fine." He laughs lightly and she gives him a weird look, cocking her head. 

"What?" 

"Two years?" She asks, looking at him before blinking three times and her eyes widen "oh right!" 

Tyler looks at her curiously for a second before shrugging it off and turning back to the wall. 

She stands by, swaying side to side and looking at the colorful labels and pictures on the boxes and bottles. She stays close however, looking at the two other men in the aisle, who don't seem to be paying them any attention. 

Tyler doesn't notice them at all, 100% of his attention on Anna until he hears a whistle. 

One whistle. 

One quiet whistle. 

He almost doesn't catch it, but he recognizes the tune. It's the kind of whistle you hear outside of a club at night when the girls are just leaving, stumbling out in their heels while men across the street try desperately to get any kind of attention they can. Anna doesn't look, but he can tell she heard it by the way she presses herself against him, grabbing his arm quickly and tightly. Tyler spins around to the source of the sound, seeing one guy turn around from where he had been facing them. Anna ducks under him and puts his arm around her shoulders, smiling up at him. 

"What kind do you want?" She asks in a light voice, and Tyler is confused for a second. 

"Oh...um this is fine." He picks up some random brand of beer he'd seen on tv and puts it in the cart, keeping his arm around her and walking out of the aisle. Anna quickly whips around and flips the guy off before laughing and rushing forward, dragging Tyler with her. 

He was proud. 

Anna number one would've stood there paralyzed, depending on Tyler to do something. But she hadn't, she hadn't avoided a bad situation and got herself out of it. 

"Good job." He says under his breath and she looks at him quickly, giving him almost a terrified expression but claming down in a second. 

"Y-yeah. Good job..." she stutters, nodding repeatedly and smiling uncomfortably. 

"You alright?" He asks, concerned, and turns into the check out. 

"Mhmm I'm good." She assures him and starts loading things onto the belt, avoiding his eyes. 

Back in the car, Tyler turns the ignition and turns to Anna with a soft expression. 

"Everything alright?" 

"Yeah I'm good now." She smiles genuinely and turns on the radio, flipping stations until a song by Glass Animals comes on. 

"Oh I know this one!" She yells excitedly, bobbing her head along and tucking her legs under her knees in the small leather seat. 

"Cane shuga." Tyler says and she lights up, looking him excitedly. 

"From their new album..." 

"how to be a human being." Tyler laughs and she does too. 

Back at Tyler's apartment, Anna goes straight to the kitchen and starts to unload the groceries, telling him to find something on Netflix. 

"I don't have Netflix..." he says and she looks at him as if he's told her the sky is green. 

"Ugh fine, log into mine." 

"Alright, what's your password?" 

"DIXIE!" She calls from the kitchen and Tyler laughs. 

"What, why?" 

"My old dog's name!" She yells and Tyler nods even though she can't see him. He types in the password and logs in, looking athe stuff she'd previously watched. It was mostly the popular tv shows everyone was talking about, plus some horror movies that shocked Tyler. Horror? Anna?

he heard muffled curses and frustrated groans as Anna slammed cabinets, mad about the fact she didn't know the layout of his kitchen yet. 

After ten minutes she was done and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a blanket off the back on the couch and draping it over herself before leaning on Tyler's shoulder and stealing the remote. 

"Hey!" 

"What?" She asked innocently, smiling when Tyler pouts and she starts flipping through the different categories. 

"Didn't know you were so into scary stuff." He comments and she nods against his skin. 

"Yeah I love it." 

"Really?" 

"Mhmm, love it." 

He gives her a worried look and eventually nods. "Why?" 

"I don't know. I like scaring myself. Some of them are actually really funny." She chuckles and Tyler gives her a horrified look and she bursts out laughing. 

"Stop, it's just funny what the characters do. Like, it's extremely unrealistic."

"Alright, wanna terrify me?" He asks and she nods excitedly.

"Of course I do, here let's start of easy...the sixth sense." She clicks on one and presses play, reaching over and holding Tyler's hand tentatively.

"For you...so you don't get...scared." She says with a small smile and Tyler almost melts.

If holding her hand meant he had to watch horror movies, then he'd watch them all day.

the rest of the night goes by fine, Tyler grabbing some beers when it starts to get intense, and Anna looks extremely upset all the sudden at the thought of alcohol. 

"What's wrong?" He asks, taking a sip of his and putting the bottle down. 

"I...I don't think I should." 

"Ok, it's fine you don't have to." He says sentimentaly and she suddenly frowns. 

"Well you don't have to say it like that, I'm not a child." She spits and Tyler tries to remember that when she gets defensive he shouldn't say anything risky. 

"I'm not trying to, I'm sorry."'

"don't apologize!" 

"W-why?" 

"Because then you make me feel like I'm the bad guy!" 

"You're not, you aren't Anna." 

"Well you're certainly acting like it." She fold her arms over her chest. 

"Anna, what's the matter?" He asks and she scowls 

"nothing." 

"you have to tell me if something is wrong." 

"And why would I do that?" 

"Because I care? I care about you?" He asks in a blaming tone and she scowls again. 

"I. Am. Fine." She says through gritted teeth which really gives off the impression that she in fact is not fine. 

"Anna you can't keep lying to me about these kind of things." 

"There are some things Tyler, believe it or not, that I don't want to tell you." She rolls her eyes and sits back, subconsciously moving away from him in the small possibility he'd go to hit her. 

"B-but..." he falters, knowing that it's unlikely she'll back down. 

"...I'm sorry." She says suddenly, getting closer and closer quickly. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." 

"About what, why?" Tyler tries to speak but her breathing starts to quicken and her eyes widen in fear, 

"I'm sorry don't be mad." She borderline begs and Tyler literally has to take a step back to collect all this. She went from being defiant and strong to submissive and pleading within seconds. 

"I'm not mad, not at all it's ok Anna."

Her eyes start to look less frightened, her actions less rushed, by she's still radiating nervousness and worry. 

"I know that you're lying about something, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I'd appreciate it if you did." He says calmly and she looks at her hands, wringing them nervously. 

"I can't." She says almost silently and Tyler leans forward. 

"Yes you can, its fine." 

"I...it'll all be over if I do, I can't it'll ruin everything." She says with tears in her eyes and Tyler cocks his head and lifts her's up. 

"You can tell me anything, it won't change how I feel." Tyler say soothingly and Anna nods multiple times. 

"I....Im...." she breaks down crying and Tyler wants to hold her but she's so closed off and he's worried it'll be bad. 

"I'm.....I'm 17." She whispers. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is short but I'm gonna be busy fir a while so I figure this is better then nothing, love y'all <3


	16. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY MY COMPUTER FELL IN MY FRIENDS POOL AND I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO WRITE THEN I CRASHED MY BIKE AND MY PHONE CRACKED ALL OVER SO IM JUST DONE WITH SUMMER I WANT SCHOOL AND A NEW LAPTOP AND I KNOW YALL DONT LIKE THIS STORY AS MUCH BUT I WANT TO UPDATE IT ANYWAY CUZ MAYBE I LIKE IT

17. 

17? 

17!

Tyler looks at her, eyes wide and lips parted. She sits across from him, her face down in shame and submission, her hands tightly grasping the fabric of the blanket below her.

"You're....you're seventeen?" He asks quietly and she nods almost as if she's ashamed. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because..." she mumbles, keeping her face low and her breathing steady. 

"Anna." Tyler says slowly and sentimentally. 

"You wouldn't want me, even more then you already don't! I'm not old enough to live alone so you'd have to take me in which you don't want to do in the first place!" She sobs. 

"Anna..." Tyler says sadly, only being able to say her name. 

"I'm sorry ok?!" She coughs, covering her face with dragging sleeves. Tyler sits by and watches with worn, sad eyes as Anna cries quietly. 

"It's ok, I'm not mad I promise." Tyler says carefully, reaching out and patting her cheek. 

"You are! You're gonna cast me aside and give me back to my parents!" She sobs, body trembling with subdued tears. 

"Anna when did I ever say anything about that?" Tyler tilts his head and scoots forward. 

"You don't have to, I already know you will." She whispers. 

 "Well then that just means you have bad character judgement. If you heard anything that I said earlier you would know that I wasn't going to make any rash decisions until I knew what you were about to tell me." 

She looks at the ground with a frown. "I don't have bad character judgment." She mumbled.

"well it seems you do if you assume that I would cast it to the side after hearing one real thing about you." Tyler argues, reaching in an attempt to touch her face. 

She recoils, inching back and turning her face away. 

"come on, you didn't think I was just cast your side because of that." Tyler coos, stroking her hair with gentle fingers. 

"T...Tyler?" She looks up suddenly, eyes watery and so sad to look at. 

"Yes?" 

"i'm sorry for being such a waste of your time. I'm sorry for being such  A burden. I know that I came into your life during a difficult time and Im trying to regret everything that I've done." She explains, looking him in the eyes and moving into his touch. 

 "First of all," Tyler starts, rubbing her cheek with his thumb, "you're not a waste of my time and you're not a burden. I don't know how you figured out about my past but we're not gonna talk about that right now." He mutters. 

" why can't we? I know it's touchy for you but if this is going to go anywhere then I need to know everything about you and I mean it doesn't have to be everything but at least some basic background could be useful." She asks, her eyes drying up and Tyler tilts his head. 

"stop trying to change the subject. Why didn't you tell me you were only 17?" Tyler inquires. 

"You know why Tyler...you know." She mutters and he lifts her chin up from where he head's dropped.  

 "Can you explain a little more in depth?" 

"I just want to be wanted." She whispers, tears pricking her eyes once again. 

"I know you do, I know." 

"And if I'm still a little fucking kid, no one will want me. I'm a child, I can't take it." She says under her breath. "I need to follow rules and respect my elders and behave... or else." She adds quietly. 

"Anna, I'm not grant." Tyler says softly, trying to coax her out of this mood and person she's taken on. This isn't Anna. 

"I...I know that." She coughs again. "Do you...this is gonna sound weird but do you have a smoke?" She cringes after speaking and Tyler gives her a slight look of disbelief. 

"Um...no. No I don't." He says slowly and she nods in shame. 

"It's ok, I'm sorry for asking." 

"You smoke?" 

"No!" She laughs dryly "haven't since like, eight grade." 

"Oh." Tyler breathes, "good." 

 "W-what were we taking about?" She asks sheepishly and Tyler sighs gently. 

"You. Your age. Living here, with me."

"mmm..." she looks at her fingernails. 

"You know, it's not that bad of an age gap, it's only slightly weird." He smiles and she laughs. 

"I'll be eighteen in September so at least it'll be legal at that point." 

"Oh wait really?" 

"Mhmm." 

"Well that helps us out." Tyler smiles and she lays to the side against a cushion. 

 "Yeah....I like the sound of that." 

"Of what?" 

"Us." 

"Yeah...I do too." He smiles slightly and leans onto the cushions. 

"Do you wanna maybe, forget this happened and just, cuddle?" She raises an eyebrow and Tyler laughs 

"we can talk about it later, absolutely." He replies and with a smile, Anna crawls forward and rests her head on Tyler's lap, curling up in a ball below him and starts watching the movie they'd forgotten about. 

Tyler leans into the fabric of the couch, looking down at Anna with almost sad eyes. 

He cant do this. 

He can't not do this. 

He loves her. 

Shes younger. 

And? 

He sighs, Anna flipping over and staring at him. Tyler looks down at the mossy green orbs with caution. She knows, she's so much smarter then she gives herself credit for. 

"Just try not to think about it too much." Is all she says, scanning his face once more before taking his hand and putting it in her hair, flipping over to continue watching the film. 

Tyler sits, stunned for a minute, before he starts to pet her hair gently, fingers running through her wavy chestnut brown hair easily. It's soft and silky, almost cliche in the way it's so soft. 

"I wanna chop it off, to my shoulders, and dye the bottom." She says after a few minutes.

"really? I like that." Tyler says and she flips over with a grin. 

"You do?" 

"Yeah, we can go do that later if you want." 

She looks like Tyler just told her he's pregnant. "You can't be serious." 

He laughs  "I actually am, believe it or not. I consider changing your appearance to be very therapeutic  sometimes and it might even help."

She blinks, once, twice. "Wait really?"

"why not?" 

"B-because..." she tails off 

 "Exactly. We'll go get your haircut and grab something to eat after this movie." He says and she just stares at him. 

"You can't keep being so nice, there's a catch isn't there?" She lowers her eyes and Tyler chuckles. 

"Of course not." 

"Ok...b-but if you do ever want anything in return, I'll do it." She says quietly. 

"Huh?" 

"Nothing, nevermind." She brushes it off with a fake smile and turns over. Tyler frowns slightly and flips her back over. 

"What? Anna what did you mean?" He inquires and she sighs, closing her eyes and Tyler can still see fucking dark yellow splotch under her eyebrow from an old bruise. 

He knows what she meant now. 

He knows. 

"I was just saying-" 

"-No. no. Never think you have to do that with me Anna your much more then that." He closes his eyes and breathes slowly. Anna looks at him curiously.  

"Tyler, you've dons so much for me it's the least I could do. Honestly it's no big deal however many times you want, whatever you need I can do it." She says, her voice flat with seriousness and Tyler feels sick. 

"Anna, no. Why would you even think I would want that? In that way? Of course not!" He yelps in suprise and embarrassment and honestly he's borderline appalled. 

"Oh...ok, alright then." She says with unvertainty before reaching up and stroking the stubble on Tyler's chin. 

"What if I want to?" 

He freezes, eyes opening and he looks down at Anna who's head is tilted to the left like a confused dog. Her eyes are big and innocent, looking up with curiosity and trust. 

Tyer just can't answer that honestly. 

"You know that we can't." He says stiffly and she bites the inside of her cheek, thinking.  

"Of course we can. I owe you, Tyler." She says lowly, moving closer and climbing into his lap. 

"Anna..." he says in a warning tone. 

"Shh, just let me I have to." She mutters, reaching under his shirt and feeling the skin underneath. 

Tyler shivers, his eyes wide watching Anna. 

She pulls his shirt off and kisses him softly, lovingly, and Tyler kisses back. It's almost a sweet enough kiss to forget the fact that she feels an obligation to do it. After a while things get pretty heated, with Anna opening her mouth wider and Tyler reciprocating fully, licking into her mouth and she grins into the kiss, pulling away to kiss under his jaw and neck. 

Tyler holds her hips and pulls her closer, body tingling with touch that's been absent for months. The minute he grabs her hips harder however, is when she lets out a pained whimper into his neck and jolts under his hands. 

He touched her ribs. 

Fuck. 

Anna ignores it, continuing with a grimace and Tyler nudges her away with a sad frown. 

"W-what? Did I do something wrong sorry I'll try-" 

"-no no no it's ok." Tyler pushes her away gently once again and she scowls 

"what?" 

"I...we can't..." 

"Tyler just let me do this for you!" She huffs angrily.

"Anna it shouldn't happen this way you know it shouldn't."

"B-but-"

"-but nothing. I shouldn't have encouraged it." He breathes and she scowls.  

"Tyler please." There was no question behind it, she simply just wanted to fuck him to get over the repaying part. 

 "Anna stop, let's just wait huh?" He tilts his head with a slight smile and she nods slowly, sinking into his lap and resting her head on his chest. 

"I'm so fucked up." 

"We all are."

"really?" 

"Yeah of course." 

She sighs, reaching up and tracing the shapes on his chest. 

"I like em." She whispers

"me too." 

They sit like that for a while, Anna's fingers gracing over the tattooes that decorate Tyler's chest. 

"Tyler I...I just want to apologize for all of this. It's all my fault I'm sorry." 

"It's fine, I've enjoyed everything that's come with having you in my life." He says and she rolls her eyes. 

"What?" 

"That's such bullshit." She laughs and Tyler does as well. 

"Well it has been pretty emotional, but it's been very eventful and more fun then life would be without you." 

"That I can agree with." She laughs.

"...I love you." He says after a few seconds and she nods 

"I love you too, Tyler Jospeh." 

She smiled and rests her face in the crook of his neck. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." 

"I know." 

"Thanks for, ya know, everything." 

Tyler nods with a smile, kissing her sweetly "youre welcome." 

They stay like that for a minute, Anna laying on Tyler and Tyler watching the credits of the movie drag down the screen. It's sweet, domestic, everything tyler could've had before and is grateful for now. 

"You wanna go? We could grab something to eat as well." He says and she rolls her eyes into the back of her head. 

"I can never turn down food!" She moans, clambering off Tyler and walking to the bedroom. "I'm gonna change! Put on a shirt!" She calls from the back and  Tyler laughs to himself, pulling on a shirt and opening a window, letting the late afternoon air sweep in. The sun is just seconds away from staring to set, the sky transitions from blue to a soft lavender. 

"AND ITS A CLOSE DISCUSSION AND IM THINKING DANM IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK!" Anna belts from the bedroom, Tyler laughing to himself as he gathers his keys and wallet. 

"Wait!" She screams and Tyler furrows his eyes brows. 

"...what?!"

"you have a ukulele?!" She hollers and he laughs 

"yeah?"

"OHMYGOD!" She shrieks and runs into the room. Well, tries to run. She tumbles onto the couch, ukulele in hand and smiles sweetly. 

"What about it?" 

"I can play this!" She laughs and demonstrates by strumming a simple tune of AM, F, and G 

"pretty good pretty good." Tyler chuckles. 

"Yeah I know, I'm basically twenty one pilots." She teases, flipping her hair over her shoulder and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"Stop, that was an old hobby." 

"Should've been a career if you ask me." She shrugs, handing him the instrument and standing up. She's wearing a pair of jean shorts Tyler's sister Maddie forgot a long time ago, and his Ohio hoodie. 

"Lookin good, lets get you lookin new." Tyler jokes, taking her arm and unlocking the door. 

"I'll play this in the car." She says, grabbing the uke and walking along. 

"This could be love at first sight, oh wait I said that before." She sings, giggling to herself and strumming the ukulele gently. It's a pretty song Tyler's never heard before. They're almost to town, the sun almost done setting. 

"Wouldn't you like to, wouldn't you like to, kiss her? Wouldn't you like to, Wouldn't you like to dance with her?" She hums, strumming a different set of chords and Tyler thinks he could fall asleep if it wasn't a moving veichle. 

When she finishes, Tyler claps and she blushes deeply "the brobecks." is all she mutters before putting the little guitar in the back seat carefully.

"Very impressive. So you wanna eat first or get your makeover?"  

Anna laughs, leaning against the window, "im not  that hungry but if you wanna get something I'll tag along." 

Tyler nods "I'm not that hungry either. So, believe it or not, but my aunt has a salon up the street here and I think we can get your hair done for free." he says  and Anna smiles enthusiastically. 

"Really? Oh my gosh that'd be great!" 

"Mhmm." Tyler pulls up at a professional looking shop and parks outside. 

 

"Ready?" 

"Mhmm." Anna says, wiggling in her seat. 

"Ok, here goes!" Tyler removes his hands and Anna looks in the mirror at herself. 

"Oh my god." 

"I know right?" Tyler laughs and Anna can't stop staring. 

"Blue!" She laughs and Tyler shrugs. 

"I like it." 

"I love it!" She touches the ends of her hair, which have been dyed a dark denim blue in contrast to her brown roots. 

"You look so pretty hun." Tyler smiles, leaning over the chair and kissing her cheek. 

"Tyler?" He looks back into the mirror and sees him, Anna, and his aunt standing behind them. 

"Oh hey!" He smiles, turning to the woman and giving her a big hug. 

"It's been so long sweetheart how are you?" The woman smiles, dark tanned skin like Tyler's with mocha hair as well. 

"Great, how are you?"

"oh fantastic, the boys all at college." 

"Well it is the end of the summer." He chuckles. 

"So, who is this?" She motions to Anna and Tyler smiles. 

"This is my...girlfriend Anna." He says, helping her up and Anna extends her hand shyly. 

"Nice to meet you ma'am." 

"Oh how precious!" She coos, hugging Anna tightly and she whimpers softly at the force. 

"Hey gentle gentle." Tyler pulls them apart. "She's recently out of the hospital." 

"Oh heavens no! What happened?" 

"Just a...car accident. Minor." Tyler  rushes off and Anna nods. 

"Oh, well I do hoe you're felling better dear." 

"Thank you ma'am." Anna says quietly and Tyler smiles endearingly. 

Tylers aunt leads them to the door with no mention of money, giving Tyler another big hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

"I am so glad you're doing better sweetheart, we were all so sorry to hear about Jo-" 

"thank you. It means a lot." Tyler cuts her off with a sad smile and stands in front of Anna. "Please don't bring it up again? She doesn't know and I'd rather just move on." He whispers sadly and his aunt nods. 

"Of course baby, till next time!" She waves them off and Anna waves shyly. 

Back in the car, Anna studies Tyler carefully and he looks over, smiling tightly. 

"What's up?" He asks and she looks visibly uncomfortable. 

"I...what happened?" Anna asks and Tyler's heart falls to the bottom of his lungs. 

"N-nothing. Nothing you need to worry about it's fine." 

"Oh...ok. You can talk me about anything though, you know that right?" 

"Of course." 

"Ok." She sits back, staring at the darkened road ahead with dark and curious eyes. 

"I'll tell you when the time comes, it's not the best story to hear." Tyler says after a little, ruffling his hair.

"Ok." Anna says softly, leaning on his shoulder.

"So...about earlier...." he starts and she cuts him off

"you want road head?"

"I-" he continues his sentence then stop, looking at her. "what did you just say?" 

"Hm?" She looks at him innocently and Tyler tilts his head. 

"What?" 

"I didn't say anything." Anna giggles and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"You did. But I'm going to choose to ignore it until the time comes." 

"Ok." Anna says in a small voice. 

"Anyway, what I was going to say was, what would you think about moving in with me, permanently?" 

Anna's mouth falls open "what?" 

"Do you want to mo-" 

"-no I heard you. But WHAT?" 

Tyler laughs " you don't have to I was just wondering." 

"No of course I do! It's just, fuck, Jesus Tyler yourevmaking this so hard!" She whines. 

"Why?" He chuckles 

"because I want to repay you but I can't. I don't have any money and you don't want the only thing I have to offer." 

Tyler takes a deep breath. "Hun, you don't have to pay me back. I want to do this, I want to because I love and care about you alright?"  

Anna crosses her arms "fine." 

"Besides, I would love to have what you can offer but first of all you're not 18 yet  and I'm not going to be responsible for traumatizing you." 

"Not like it's already happened, Tyler you know that right?" 

"Know what?" 

"Well I mean I'm obviously not a virgin." She laughs and Tyler goes bright red. 

"Yeah I gathered that much." 

"See? So it's fine." 

"Anna I'm done having this conversation. You're 17." 

"What about when I'm 18?" She insures, batting her eyelashes. 

"We'll talk about it. We still have a lot  to learn about each other." 

"My name is Anna Winsler, Im 17, my birthday is September 10th. I live in Springfield Ohio but I'm currently staying with my boyfriend in Columbus." She says, glancing at the empty road before kissing Tyler's neck. 

"Anna...." he rolls his eyes and pushes her away. 

"Ugh, cmon!" She groans as Tyler just chuckles and pulls into the parking garage. 

"Let's go get you in bed, it's late." Tyler sighs, getting out and helping Anna to the elevator, even though she claims she "doesn't need your bitchass to help" 

when they're inside and the apartment is locked up Anna shuffles to tylers room, taking off the shorts and climbing into bed with his sweatshirt on. 

"You ready?" Tyler calls, walking in and seeing her already half asleep, the lights still on.

"how cute." He mutters. Closing the closet door and peeling his jeans and shirt off, walking in his boxers to brush his teeth. 

"See you in the morning." He calls from the living room, settling in on the couch and grabbing the blanket. A few minutes go by, then Anna's waking in and grabbing his bicep, leading a confused Tyler back into his room where she pushes him on the bed and lays down next to him. There are no words, just Anna turning off the light and snuggling into Tyler. 

He lays there, still slightly puzzled but soon accepts it, holding her frame gently and listening to her breathing slowly and rhythmically.

This cant be as bad as it seems

it really isn't as bad as it seems

because they love each other

itll all work out in the end, right?

Right?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on my cracked iPhone 5 I hope you're happy with all the spelling and grammar mistakes.


	17. Hi....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm getting my laptop on Wednesday so get hype for more chapters on all my stories!

_"H-hello?"_

_"Anna please, just listen to me."_

_"No."_

_"Anna please just take my advice it's not in vain I care about you."_

_"I know, I know you do b-but I....I can't."_

_"But why Anna? Why do you stay with him if he treats you like shit?"_

_"Because....because I love him."_

_"Loving someone like that isn't right when you're loving them for all the wrong reasons."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you would like to do a character ask...I've never done one so it might be fun idk


	18. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is too short but I felt bad so here's something to hold you over

"For like, three months after the whole thing with Grant the first time she was completely despondent. Rarely talked, never laughed. She was dead a good two thirds of the year." Gabby says on the other line, Tyler listening attentively. 

"was there ever a spark in her mood, any outbursts." 

"Oh fuck yeah. She was a complete asshole, then would get super ashamed and start apologizing and everyone was just so over it." 

"hmm." Tyler hums because he really doesn't know what to say. 

"Her social media was either non existent or just pictures and funny videos of her going out with us. It seemed like she was having a good time on screen, but in real life she was a complete wreck. And he and no idea, made no attempt at talking to her."

Tyler sighs, mumbling a please continue. 

"Well in all honesty it looked to me like she was breaking down since she didn't have him as an anchor." Gabby continues, talking fast and high pitched while Tyler sat on the sofa, Anna sleeping in the other room. 

"She had known her worth, and he had somehow made her forget it all." Gabby concludes and Tyler nods to himself. 

"how long did it take her to be ok?" he asks and Gabby lets out a heavy sigh

"Christ I don't know...a year?" she guesses and Tyler chokes a little on air. 

"oh..." Tyler breathes. 

"She was still not over it, just hiding it since no one wanted to hear about it anymore. She bottled it up instead of getting help so when he came back around she took him while she could, worst decision of her life I'd say." gabby scoffs "he just waltzed back around Sophomore year and charmed her off the floor once again."

"I get that..."

"Honestly her freshman year could've been great. She was actually happy for a change but the minute she saw him the first day it completely sent her into a spiral. She refused to go to her bio class because he'd pass her in the hallway. She broke down daily before study hall and had some of the worst panic attacks I've ever seen from her just because he was in the class. The effect this boy had on her was astronomical, and the fact he did it all without uttering a word as impressive to say the least." Gabby sneers, her voice angry and Tyler understood, he was furious as well. 

"Honestly I don't even know if he was trying to her her attention. I mean, he knew he'd had it but the quick glances they gave each other while the other wasn't looking were almost endearing, if it wasn't for their relationship being so dysfunctional." Gabby sighs, and Tyler hears keys and assumes shes getting back to her apartment.

"How was her social life during this?" 

"It was fine, she had and still has an impressive amount of friends but she just chooses to keep her distance. One of the saddest things that happened was this really cute really nice junior had taken a liking to her, but she simply didn't notice, and would've been to scared to even consider another relationship. Older boys had treated her like shit so in short, all of them would."

"Yeah I understand." Tyler mumbles, switching his position and holding the phone closer. "I...I hate to ask but I kinda have to, was there any sexual-" 

"-of course, what do you think? That's all he wanted and what he continues to go after." Gabby scoffs "And have you met Anna? 

"what's that supposed to mean?" Tyler asks accusingly and Gabby snorts. 

"She had the dirtiest mouth of all the girls in the grade, funny as hell too." 

That makes sense. 

She's always been able to make him smile. 

"It's not like she didn't enjoy it. I mean, Grant's pretty good looking and with his swimmer's body I wouldn't be surprised if-" 

"-woah ok that's enough." Tyler cringes, looking over the couch to glance at the closed bedroom door. It was the middle of the night but he assumed she was asleep and that a quick chat with her best friend behind her back would be ok. 

"Oh, right sorry." Gabby giggles and Tyler's ears go red. 

"Is there anything else you wanted to know?" she asks and Tyler shrugs and takes a breath. 

"Yeah,  _is_ there anything else you wanted to know?" A shaky but accusing voice comes from behind him and Tyler cringes, cursing under his breath and turning to see Anna standing in the hallway looking pissed. Its as if she's trying to look dominate and scary, but he can tell shes nervous and probably two minutes away from bursting into tears. 

"fuck, Gabby I gotta go we'll talk later." He hisses, hanging up and looking apologetically towards Anna. 

"I'm sorry." He whispers, looking at her with sad eyes and she bites the inside of her cheek, eyes watering. 

"If you want to know so badly just fucking ask me next time." she chokes out and Tyler's heart breaks. 

"I know, I should've asked you but its good to get gabby's side-" 

"-Gabby doesn't know shit." Anna hisses and Tyler shrinks. 

"Anna please-" 

"Please what? Forgive you because you can't stay out of my business? I don't ask about what happened to your other partner because I respect your privacy, but its obvious you don't respect mine." she scoffs, crossing her arms and standing straighter. 

Tyler nods in agreement. "I understand, I'm sorry." 

"You should b-be." and with that her voice breaks and Tyler stands just in time for her to breakdown. 

"All...all I want is t-to be happy." She whispers, her face in the crook of Tyler's neck and he just coos, petting her hair. 

"I want you to be happy." 

"So stop b-bringing it u-up." she mutters 

"If that's what'll make you happy I'll try, but it won't stop me from wondering." he hums and Anna groans. 

"Fine." 

"what?" 

"Cmon." she sits on the couch and drags Tyler down with her. 

"Ask me, c'mon you want to know so badly here I'll tell you everything." She says simply and Tyler furrows his eyebrows. 

"Um...o-ok." He stutters, thinking for a minute while she stares at him. Her hair is falling in her face is tangled waves but she makes no effort to push them away, just sitting cross legged with wide green eyes. There's only one light on in the room, casting a dim white light only on a portion of her face. 

"how did you two first meet?" 

she laughs "he was in my honors chorus class and did the musicals the two years we were in school together." she nods, solidifying her own statement. 

"Ok, was he nice to you?" 

"Oh yeah, he was so sweet compared to the other boys. He was really shy too, but that might've just been compared to me." 

"oh..." 

"yeah." she blinks and pats Tyler's leg. 

"Um...when did you start dating?" 

"the end of my 7th grade year." she snorts "some relationship." 

Tyler nods, "and it went on for how long?" 

"jesus um...its gotta be four years? But on and off." she explains with a cringe. 

"wow." 

"yeah I guess, but I'd be lying if I said we were both loyal." 

"you cheated on him?" 

"Not really? I don't know I was definitely flirty and sexual with other guys when I was with Grant but he didn't seem to mind at first." she shrugs

"well when did it start getting bad?" he asks and she blink slowly and looks at her leg. 

"Freshman slash sophomore year I'd say." she coughs and Tyler sits against the cushions, motioning for her to come closer and she does so, tentatively crawling into his lap and laying her head on his chest. 

"how were you um...feeling about it?" he asks and she shrugs 

"I thought it was just tough love and protectiveness, I didn't really peg it as being abusive and controlling." 

"Can you give me examples?" 

"well I couldn't hang out with my guy friends, only when I was with him. And before I went out he'd make me show him what I was wearing. He didn't really know I was flirting wit other guys at the time but when he did find out that's when the hammer came down in a way." she tries to explain, pausing and thinking of the right words. 

"So other then that, what would he say and do about it?" 

"Well I mean there was always casual degradation like being called whore and stuff....um, unnecessary PDA that made me kinda uncomfortable." 

"as in...?" 

"Like, kissing my neck in public and sending me dirty texts just to get me riled up. It was at a point where it wasn't hot, it was just annoying and weird." 

"oh, yeah I get that." he hums, playing with her hair as she continues. 

"I felt like i couldn't escape as much as I wanted to because A, he wouldn't let me in the first place and B, if I did leave I'd just break down again and start hurting myself." 

"tell me about that." Tyler encourages and she sighs heavily 

"I felt like shit. I was a disappointment to my family and to myself. He wasn't there to punish me so I felt the need to do it myself. It was stupid it doesn't matter." She says dismissively and Tyler's stomach twists. 

"It does matter Anna." he sighs and she shakes her head. 

"Its no big deal." 

Tyler goes quiet, just looking at her and trying to think of what might be going on inside her head. 

"what else?" he asks finally and she just rubs her cheek against his sweatshirt. 

"I love you." 

He pauses, looking down at her in silence while she says nothing, just breathing slowly. 

"I....I love you too." he says uncertainly, growing more concerned by the minute for her. 

"...Tyler?" 

"mhmm?" 

"How would I k-know if it was getting b-bad again?" 

he stops, thinking for a second before he speaks 

"It'd be like this." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly I hate writing about Grant only to see him at school the next day. It was so much easier when I didn't have to see him.


	19. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do you have to be so fucking sweet?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys...

"Let's start something from the top eh?" Anna asks, looking over her shoulder with a small smile and Tyler nods, hiding a grin. 

"alright.....Got on the U down to king's cross station where the cross kids were smokin in the street..." she hums, strumming Tyler's ukulele lightly from where she was perched on top of the kitchen counter, leaning against the wall.

"Mr Redundant's got a boy in London asking questions no ones got a right to be." Tyler sings along, pressing his fingers onto the small keys on the electronic keyboard sitting in front of him.  

"Say hey Mr are they eh eh ah de ah de eh eh ah de ah de ah...." she giggles, picking the chords and swaying against the brick behind her. 

"I saw the crosses of empty cathedrals who's prospects were hanging out in bars," Tyler drops his voice, Anna laughing at the bass of it. 

"Mrs Facetious got a man who preaches what the Beatles believed- love is ALL YOU NEED!" She yells, strumming thrice and laughing as Tyler goes back into the chorus. 

The two finish in a chorus of laughter, Anna looking over at Tyler and brushing hair out of her face. 

"That was so good."

"yeah." He chuckles and Anna hops down carefully, putting the uke on the coffee table and sitting down on tylers lap.

"why did you stop making music?" She asks and Tyler shrugs, taking his hands away from the keys and wrapping them around her. 

"There was a lot of...complications. I was young, didn't realize how hard it was to make it. I didn't realize what it would do to me if I did make it." He tries to explain but earns a tilted head. 

"But you weren't alone...?" She asks and he nods 

"my friends and I...Chris, Mark and Josh started it but then it kinda turned into just me and Mark. Then I met someone and it was really great but...." he trails off, looking at a button on her shirt.

"Tyler?" She taps his chin and lifts it up so he's making eye contact with her. 

"You don't have to tell me if it makes you upset." She whispers and Tyler nods.

"t-thanks." He stutters, leaning against her chest. "How's your pain?" 

"Um...ok. Like a constant 4." She says slowly, nodding after. 

"4?" 

"Like on a scale from one to ten." She says and Tyler nods. 

"Oh ok. You need anything?" He asks and she shakes her head. 

"I just want to get out of these casts, they're so annoying." She shrugs and blows the hair off her forehead. 

"Ok, I'll call Sarah and ask when we can go back and start the next part of your treatment." 

Her eyes darken and she starts to play with her fingers "d-do I have to stay t-there again?" She whispers, looking so beyond terrified and Tyler holds her closer. 

"Oh no. Of course not you'll stay here with me." He coos and she visibly relaxes , looking into his eyes and nodding frantically. 

"Ok. O-ok." She murmurs, resting her head against the flat expanse of his chest and breathing slowly. 

"You're doing so well, I'm so proud of you Anna." He murmurs and she smiles against his shirt. 

"Thanks." She Huns and nuzzles against him. 

"You need to tell me if it hurts ok? There's no shame in feeling pain." 

She laughs, looking up at him. 

"Trust me, I'll let you know."

tyler smiles and stands, picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. 

"Where we going?" She tuts, kissing his neck 

"somewhere." He mumbles, placing her on the bed gently and she wraps the blankets around her, sitting against the headboard and looking around the room almost nervously. 

 "So I saw something online..." Tyler says, going to the dresser and opening it, sifting around. 

"And I know how you always steal my flannel..." He continues and Anna's eyes light up. 

"what?" she squeaks and Tyler gets out a shipping bag. 

"open it." he says simply and she rips the wrapping, revealing a button up flannel shirt, with a grey hoodie. 

"Tyler!" she squeals, unbuttoning it and putting it on, the shirt reaching her lower thighs in length and she smiles with her eyes shut. 

"Do you like it?" 

"Of course! But you have to stop spoiling me." she pouts, looking at him sadly. 

"Just let me." 

"tyler you know how I feel about it." 

"Do I?" 

"Tyler." she says sternly and he shrugs. 

"Fine, I'll ask you before I buy things." 

"That's at least a little better." she sigh, putting the hood up and glaring at him. 

"do I look punk?" 

"absolutely. Perfectly punk rock." 

"perfect." she mimics

"you're too much." he rolls his eyes and she shrugs. 

"you know you love it." she says apologetically. 

"that I do." 

Tyler stands from where he had sat on the edge of the bed, "I'm gonna go pick up some food, what do you want to eat?" Anna tilts her head. 

"Umm, I'm not sure, whatever you have will be fine." 

"Do you wanna stay or come along?" he asks and Anna thinks for a minute. 

"it's such a hassle for the chair and everything, I'll just hang here and save you the time." 

"Ok then." Tyler nods, grabbing his keys. 

"You remember how to turn on the t.v?" 

"yep." 

"know where your phone is if you need me?" 

"mhmm." 

"what do you do if you smell gas?" 

"Tyler." she says incredulous, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm kidding." he chuckles, "I'll be back in like, twenty five."

"Ok, be safe." she reminds him and he smiles, tipping a nonexistent hat and exiting the room.  

 She leans back and sighs, staring at the ceiling and listening as the front door shuts, then locks. 

Oh thank god. 

She stands, walking on wobbly feet she has been trying  _so hard_ to keep straight on. 

There's no use, she's still crippled. Wanting to be able to walk just for the sake of Tyler wouldn't help anything. 

She crosses the room, putting on a pair of Tyler's sweatpants and going into the living room. 

It's mid day, about 1:30 and the sun has been covered by clouds all week. There's a hurricane hitting the east soon. Anna doesn't remember when but it's coming and it's going to be scary as fuck. 

Last time there was a hurricane her family and her slept in the basement, shakes from the earth moving the house and the risk of trees falling on them a constant worry. 

It was September. 

It was her birthday soon. 

It was past the beginning of school. 

She was missing Senoir year. 

Fuck. 

The windows are pulled open, Anna pressing her forehead against the glass and staring down at the darkened city. 

No one would find her here. 

This place is in the dark. She was shadowed, she is hidden. 

There's movement in the hallway and she flinches, eyes going wide and hair whipping around her face when she spins around to face the door. 

_someone's breaking in._

_someone's coming to kill her_

_capture her_

_rape her._

it suddenly stops, and a door closes far away. 

oh thank god. 

she takes a deep breath, sobbing on the exhale and sitting down on the couch, letting the dark leather consume her. 

"I see swimming p-pools and living rooms a-and aeroplanes, I-I see a little house o-on a hill and children's names. I s-see quiet nights p-poured over ice and t-tenqueray." she whispers, stumbling over the beginning of words and cringing at the sound of her own voice. 

_"you can't sing. You have a weak voice, your voice is bad."_

"c-come over now, and t-talk me down." she mumbles to herself, putting a heavy head into her hands, one still attached to a dark grey cast and she cries quietly. 

_"Stop crying Anna that's so pathetic."_

_"I don't feel sorry for you stop making me try to."_

"t-talk me down." she says almost silently, wiping her eyes and looking around again, frantically this time. 

Where the fuck is that blade?

a door slams once again, outside the room and she cowers, cursing to herself for being so dumb.

_so pathetic._

"what the fuck am I doing?" she mumbles, staring at the ceiling vent. 

a sharp, repeated buzzing makes her flinch, jumping up and hissing at the contact on her foot. 

"fucker." she gasps, steadying herself before recognizing the sound of her phone and creeping into Tyler's bedroom. 

there's a faint blue light coming from the corner of the darkened room and she walks towards it. 

It's probably Tyler. 

Most likely. 

There's a possibility its Tyler. 

There's also a possibility its gabby. 

There's a possibility its her mother. A small one at that. 

And then there's a possibility its  _him._

 

She closes her eyes and cringes at the screen. 

_Incoming call from Grant M._

"fuck." she whispers, her shallow breathing and the ominous, continuous buzz the phone the only sounds present at the time. 

"Fucker, hang up!" she screams at no one, throwing her hands in the air and sweeping them back down in some kind of way to relive anger. 

the buzz continues, rhythmic vibrations coming in patterns of waves, making the small phone shake on the table and she snatches it up, holding it to her ear. 

"H-hello?" 

"where are you?" his voice is sharp, cold. 

"why?" she retaliates, in a small voice but it's there anyway. 

"don't as why, where are you?" 

"the hospital, where else would I be?" she spits and there's a low chuckle on the other end. 

"well that's bullshit." 

"It...it's not." her voice lowers. She sits on Tyler's bed and hugs her legs to her chest. 

"Really? Because the receptionist says you left weeks ago." 

her heart stops. 

the blood in her veins pauses. 

She's dying. 

She's sure this is her death. 

its over. 

"I...Grant I-" 

"-I'll ask you again Anna,  _where are you?_ " 

she swallows, trying to find something to say.  After a moment there's a bang on the other end and she jumps, staring to shake. 

"Answer me!" he hisses furiously and Anna twitches.

"I'm...at a friend's house."

" _who._ " 

"you don't know hi- her."

fucked.

she's fucked.

" _him?!_ " Grant yells in utmost disbelief and Anna starts shaking harder. 

"n-no. Her. She's a girl." 

"Don't you fucking lie to me Anna I'll fucking-" he stops himself, taking a breath. 

"just tell me where you are and I'll come pick you up. We'll go back to Springfield and it'll all be fine. We'll start you on physical therapy and I'll take you to go see Gabby."

Anna shakes her head, wanting to believe him but in her heart she knows he's lying. It's worked on her before, lying. 

And when that stopped working he tried threats. 

Then he tried carrying them out.  

"N-no Grant I...I'm gonna stay here for a while I'll be ok he'll- fuck, she'll take care of me." she stops talking abruptly, already knowing she misspoke and saying something else will just ruin her. 

There's silence on the other end. 

"Anna." 

"Y-yes?" 

"are you with a guy?" he asks calmly and Anna lets out a dry sob, nodding even though he wouldn't even be able to see her. 

"...yes." 

"fucking slut, you can't get enough can you?" he spits and she sniffs

"no-" 

"-I try so hard to love you, give you everything, and  _this_ is ho you repay me?" he asks and Anna considers throwing the phone against the wall. 

She knows its bullshit, she knows he's lying and being dramatic _and_ a manipulative asshole but the thing is she  _doesn't know._ She _never learned._

"I...I'm sorry." she chokes out. 

"You aren't. If you were sorry you'd stop being such a slut and accept what you have. You are  _mine."_ he rasps and suddenly there's a key jingling in the door to the living room and Anna chokes on tears and a gasp and mutters a quick 

"fuck." 

"What did you just say to me?" Grant hollers and she looks to the hallway. The door is opening. 

"Anna I swea-" 

_click._

the screen goes black, Anna seeing her reflection and she puts the phone on the side table, sitting up and grabbing a random book. 

"Anna?" Tyler calls, walking into the room and smiling at her. 

"hey what's up? I got I didn't really know what we should have for dinner so I-" 

He's cut off by the phone buzzing once again, doubled in sound and it just sounds so  _urgent_ and Anna looks anywhere but Tyler. 

"Who is it?" he asks, looking from the phone to Anna, and the minute they make eye contact she bursts into tears. 

"shit. Anna, Anna what is it?" Tyler rushes over, climbing onto the bed and holding her, Anna accepting it for a minute until their faces are touching and Tyler's stubble scratches against her cheek. 

"fuck. No no. Get off Tyler  _now."_ she hisses, shrinking away and looking at the phone, face crumpling and she starts to cry once again, hiding her face. 

"I...what-" Tyler looks at her helplessly before turning to look at the screen. 

_Oh._

he frowns, picking it up despite Anna scrambling towards him and begging him to put it down

"Tyler! Stop! Fuck, put it down please Tyler!" she bawls, grabbing his arm but he shushes her gently, pushing her into the bed and standing up, walking out of the room. 

"Hello?" 

"Anna I swear to fucking god you did  _not_ just hang up on me." a cold voice comes from the other end and Tyler laughs. 

"I think she did man, hate to break it to you." 

"who the fuck are you?" he spits and Tyler smirks. 

"Tyler." 

"Where the fuck is Anna?" 

"in my bed." he answers honestly and there's silence. 

"who the fuck are you and where is she?' he growls and Tyler laughs. 

"I' her nurse and we're at my house." 

"Why the fuck is she staying with you?" 

"Because she didn't feel safe at the hospital, I have no idea why  _that_ would be..." he sasses.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" 

"her boyfriend." 

"excuse me?" 

"her b o y f r i e n d." Tyler says slowly and Grant let's out an angered sound.

"Let me talk to her." 

"mmm, I dont think she wants to." Tyler clicks his teeth 

"Fuck off and give her phone back." 

"Oh I will, here just let me delete this contact first." Tyler chuckles, hearing Grant yell a frustrated 'wait' before he hangs up and blocks the recent number in the settings. 

There's silence once the phone is off, no sound coming from seemingly  _anywhere_ in the entire apartment building and Tyler waltzes back into his bedroom. 

"wipe your eyes off sweetie I got us pepperoni pizza." 

 

 

 


	20. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if I make you cry.  
> i cried  
> you better cry

Three days. 

It's been three days since the phone call with Grant. 

It's been three days since Anna has spoken a word to Tyler. 

It's been three days since they've had any kind of physical contact. 

And to be completely honest, its eating Tyler alive. 

"Please, Anna I'm sorry." he pleads, standing outside his bedroom door. 

The door remains shut, quiet whimpers and sobs coming from the other side and this isn't working, it isn't and Tyler wants to fix it but he just can't. the realization of that fact is nudging the back of his head but he forces it back. He's a nurse, of course he can fix it. He has to be able to fix it. 

The idea of not having this situation under control is making him extremely stressed, thoughts biting the back of his mind and the 'what ifs' that may never come to be. 

"Can I come in, please?" he begs, knocking on the door. 

"...no." comes a feeble voice and a frown digs it's way into the muscle of Tyler's face. 

At least she talked. 

"I cant see you." 

"I don't want to see you." she responds quietly and it feels like she just stepped on his chest. 

"Anna just open the door." 

"it is." she spits, and Tyler turns the handle carefully and walks inside. 

Clean. 

the first thing Tyler notices is the room is perfectly clean, clothes folded on top of his dresser that had been previously placed on the ground and doors shut, drawers closed tightly and the only thing that's even the least messed up is the bed. It looks like it does whenever Anna sleeps in it, sheets twisted and contorted in a way that almost resembles a crime scene. 

Darkness is the second thing he notices, the fact that the curtains are drawn, something Anna always argues against. 

There's shadows covering every inch of the room, shapes and ghostly figures lurking everywhere and he realizes Anna has found refuge in the far corner of the room. 

He opens his mouth to speak, maybe ask why she's on the ground but he can figure it out on his own if he tries hard enough. 

She's in a small ball, head tucked between her knees and from where he stands Tyler can see that she's shaking. 

"Anna...." he whispers sadly, watching as she starts shaking harder. 

If he does nothing she'll be completely alone, forced to figure it out by herself and that's the last thing he wants. 

She can't do it on her own, they both know that she just might not want to admit it. 

If he goes over to her, talks to her, touches her, she'll deny it. She'll become triggered and again, that's the last thing he wants. 

It's a difficult decision. 

He could help, or he could not. 

If he wants to fix it however, he must try. And that's just the truth of the fact. If he wants her to be happy he has to stop standing back and just do something. 

So he walks forward, ignoring how she tries to press herself further into the wall. 

"shhhhh...." he coos, trying to coax her out of her own mind.

He slowly bends down and picks her up, causing her to whip around to face him, tears streaking her face and she completely starts to panic, thrashing around in Tyler's hold trying to get away however she can. 

"shhhh, Anna calm down..." he whispers, holding her to his chest and sitting on the bed. She kicks and whines and whimpers loudly and pitifully, pushing him way and trying to stretch out so he can't keep a hold on her. 

"d-d-don't t-touch m-me..." she begs, chest convulsing and her eyes large and watery, her movements almost reminding Tyler of a toddler that doesn't want to go to bed. 

he says nothing in response, trying to hold her in a way that's caring but will also pin her down. 

"T-T-Tyler, fuck, let m-me g-go!" she screams, shoving his chest and punching him. She suddenly stops, looking up at him with wide, dead, pale green eyes and releases an almost breathless gasp. 

"fuck." her voice drops and she goes limp. "I-I-I'm sorry T-Tyler I..." she breaks down in tears, shaking from head to toe and twitching. 

This looks so unhealthy. 

she looks at her hand in her lap and starts breathing heavily, rocking slightly and squeezing her eyes shut. 

"I-I d-didn't mean it please, please don't hurt me." she mutters

"I p-p-promise I'll b-be good." 

"Please...p-p-please don't." 

"Stop." 

"don't touch me." 

"please let go, that hurts." 

 _"it hurts."_ she whispers pathetically, voice barely audible and cracking. Tyler knows, he knows she isn't talking to him. 

this is purely coming from her own mind. 

She is making this up. 

"It's ok..." he says sadly, reaching up and stroking her cheek, which apparently, 

wasn't a good idea. 

She looks up quickly, her body drawing back from his and she reels her arm around, slapping his face and he turns to the side from the force of her hit, but not loosening his hold in the slightest. 

"Don't touch me Grant!" she shrieks, breaking down into loud cries and it's getting to a point where Tyler doesn't know what to do. 

_his mom was right._

_he can't do this._

_he's breaking her._

 

"Stop please!" she whimpers, voice continuing to crack and she wails into her hands. 

"I-I don't want t-to." 

"...you're hurting me." 

Tyler starts to cry, purely because he feels so lost and hopeless and he presses Anna's face to his chest, her body tensing, keeping completely still for a moment before suddenly surging back to life with a sob and she wraps her arms around his neck, curling in on him as close as she can get and sobbing into his shoulder. 

"I want to die!" she yells, voice gravely and broken and Tyler just rubs the back of her head, wiping his eyes with a free hand and rocking her gently. 

"shhhh....." he hums, letting her cry and cry and sob and scream and do whatever she needs to because that's what love is. 

It's caring for someone when you need to be cared for most. 

it's giving all you have when you already have nothing left. 

Its putting them in front of you, to protect them. 

For everything she's been through it's all he can do for now. It may not be what she needs but it's what he can provide and that has to be good enough for something. 

"I-I-I just want to fucking d-die." she croaks, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly. 

"I know, I know..." he whispers into her hair. He clucthes er tightly, and just with so much fucking  _love_ there's not a doubt in his mind that she could feel anything else. 

"Tyler." She pulls back, pale and serious "I want to cut." 

He looks at her for a minute, just assesing what she said when she repeats it. 

"Tyler I want to cut. Please." She looks at him with big eyes, imploring. 

"N-no. You can't Anna. you've been doing so well." Is his excuse, holding her wrists gently and kissing them. 

"Please," she sobs, closing her eyes and starting to shake once again "please let me, I... I need to just let me." 

"There's no reason for you to." He says calmly, gaining some kind of confidence. "I'm right here." 

"Tyler please!" She screams, breaking down into tears and Tyler stands slowly, needing to get something but not wanting to leave her alone. 

"Stay right here Anna, don't move an inch I'm coming back in ten seconds." 

She nods weakly and continues to cry, Tyler darting from the bedroom and into the kitchen, wrenching open the freezer and pulling out a couple ice cubs, putting them in a cup and running back to the bedroom. 

He sits back on the bed and pulls Anna into his lap, taking her wrists and outstretching them in his lap.

"here, shhhh..." he says quietly, rubbing the cool ice over her wrists and arms and she whimpers, burying her face in his shoulder and staying there. 

Tyler sits still and tense on the bed, slowly and methodically trailing the ice up and down her arm as if he's never done this to himself. 

She shivers, teeth gritted and Tyler kisses the side of her head. 

"It's all gonna be over soon, you're gonna be alright, you're gonna be just fine." He mumbles into her ear, his tone low and smooth and Anna soon stop crying, just her heavy breaths and occasional hiccups breaking the silence. 

"You're gonna be just fine..." he repeats, closing his eyes and feeling her breathing against his chest. 

Up up up up up, down......

up up up up up, down......

its stuttered, but breathing none the less and Tyler thinks this may just be the end of it all. 

"Here I think I might have something for you." He says, reaching over into his bedside table and digging around until he pulls out a black bracelet with a white plastic circle in the middle of it. The words " _don't be, afraid"_ are branded into it and he puts it around her left wrist, pulling the strings together to tighten it. 

She slowly moves her head down from his shoulder to look at it, bursting into tears at the sight of it and Tyler tilts his head sadly. 

"What is it?" 

"T-this, t-this was yours." She weeps, looking at it with such a sentimental expression. It's a soft, caring look, but just a mask of pure unadulterated sadness that Tyler can't even begin to comprehend. 

"Its lyrics, from a song." He says, leaning closer to her and cupping his hands around the plastic ring, the darkness beginning to make it glow a bright, shining green. 

"I know how much you like things that glow so," he chuckles softly "Sometimes we will die and sometimes we will fly away,  
either way you're by my side until my dying days...and if I'm not there and I'm far away, I said, "Don't be afraid," I said, "Don't be afraid, we're going home" he sings gently, watching her ears perk at the familiar sound and how she presses her face against his chest to feel the vibrations. 

"I wore this for a very long time, taking it off a few days after I met you, believe it or not."

"W-why?"

"Because I didn't need it, I had you."

She nods, sniffling then coughing from somewhere deep in her throat and Tyler cringes.

"I...thank you." She says quietly , looking up at him and making eye contact before looking back at her lap.

"I love you." Is all he says in response, searching her face for something that he doesn't quite know yet.

"I love you too." She whispers , kissing him deeply before tightening her arms around his neck and he does the same, hugging her closer while also being as gentle as possible. 

"I love you so so much Anna, please don't forgot that. I love you so much more then you know and even if you never see it, the love will still be there and I'll always be your shoulder to cry on, your pillow to punch, and your teddy bear whenever you need me, I'm here." 

She nods, sniffing again and letting the last of her tears fall for the night. 

Sure, things hadn't worked out the way they might've wanted it to. But the important part is they got past it, and the only reason they did is because they had each other. 

It was about 10:30 at night by the time Anna was fully calm, laying on Tyler's torso on the couch fast asleep while he flicked through the channels on the tv in the living room, a blanket draped over them. 

He starts to close his eyes slowly, the faint hum of the tv lulling him to sleep in a way and-

_Buzzz, buzzz, buzzzz._

He looks at his phone on table next to him and grabs it, seeing it's the hospital calling and he turns down the volume and answers. 

"Hell-" 

"-DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE _FUCK_ I JUST GOT FIRED?!" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by the Dark and Stormy playlist on the free Spotify Webplayer
> 
> How would you guys feel about me making public playlists on spotify for each of my stories? Just a collection of songs that I either listened to while writing or just remind me of the book. I think that'd be cool you guys could go on and listen while you read to get the full experience.
> 
> Also the fact that I flipped off the iPad and said "fuck you, readers" when I got done this chapter was purely because of the fact I just screwed us all over


	21. Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo babies

"Brendon, you know this isn't my fault." Tyler sighs, playing with Anna's hair and speaking in a hushed tone. 

"AND IT'S MINE?!" he yells and tyler scowls, turning down the volume on the phone as to not disturb Anna. 

"Well, yeah. You did it to yourself dude it's not my fault you weren't doing your job." I mutter and Brendon scoffs 

"That fucking whore told you didn't she?" he seethes and my mouth falls open. 

"excuse me?" 

"You heard me." he growls

"listen man, I don't know what kind of fucking mid life crisis you're going through but don't try and come at me with that shit and think its ok." I warn him, my voice low and he laughs. 

"what shit? I'm only stating the truth." he mumbles and I sigh. 

"I don't care. You don't know the half of it so don't pretend like you do." 

"Why are you defending her? I was told you took her home with you." 

"Because no one else will defend her when she clearly deserves it. if you saw the way she was you'd understand so don't talk about it like you do." 

"tyler, she's a slu-" 

"She's 17 Brendon!" he whisper screams, staying completely still and she moves from under him. 

"w-what?" 

"She's only 17, got an obsessive abusive controlling ex boyfriend that keeps calling and threatening her, not to mention he looks just like you, and she literally wants to kill herself just to escape it!" 

There's silence on the other line. 

"I....I did'nt know..." 

"Well nowyou do," I spit "Maybe if you weren't such a conceited asshole you would've noticed the obvious signs." 

Brendon makes a sound of opposition at the insult and mumbles "We can't all be suicidal." 

"What did you just say to me?" I gasp and Brendon mumbles a small 'nothing' 

"You did." 

"I didn't." 

"Yes, you did." 

"no, I didn't." 

"I'm not playing this game brendon." 

"Neither am I." 

"either say something intelligent or an apology otherwise I want to go to bed." 

"tyler. Look, i'm sorry. I wasn't in my right mind me and Dallon were having a fight and I was just so mad and I needed to take it out on someone it must've been the alcoho-" 

"You came to work  _drunk_?" Tyler asks, aghast. 

"I didn't mean to..." 

"Well there's just another reason why it was good you were fired. Nurses can't come to work hammered dipshit." 

"Ok ok, I get it." 

"I dont think you do." 

"I do Tyler." 

"Ok." 

"Is....um...is Anna there?" Brendon asks in a small voice and tyler sighs. 

"She's asleep right now." 

"oh, ok." he says sounding slightly relived. 

"but if you want to come by tomorrow morning you can come and apologize." he says confidently and Brendon groans. 

"I....I uh..." 

"It's not like you have a job to go to, right?" He asks cockily 

"shut up." 

"so I'll see you around 11?" Tyler asks and Brendon groans. 

"fine." 

 

 

Tyler rolls over in bed and sees Anna still asleep, glancing at the clock 

_10:14_

he stretches, whining quietly and rubbing her shoulder gently.

"Anna, time to wake up." he whispers, rubbing her jawline with a finger and she sighs, opening her eyes slowly and then closing them again.

"uh uh uh, c'mon." Tyler chuckles, ripping the sheets off her and she whines pitifully, trying to grab them again. 

"whyyyyyyy....?" 

"Because we have a visitor coming soon." 

"who?" she opens an eye and Tyler kinda regrets doing this. 

"um...brendon." he coughs and she tilts her head.

"who?" she repeats and Tyler looks at her hands. 

"brendon." 

"..w-what?" she asks in a small voice and Tyler just nods submissively. 

"Umm...o-ok." she says calmly, voice shaking but Tyler can tell she's trying her best to not freak out, to compose herself. 

"it's gonna be fine you'll sit right next to me and he won't be able to touch you." 

"I know, I know you wouldn't let him." she nods, looking extremely nervous. 

"Ok?" 

"ok." she confirms, standing up and carefully walking to the bathroom. 

"I'm...uh, gonna shower." she says quietly and Tyler nods. 

"Ok. Remember the rules?" he asks gently and she nods, looking sour. 

"yes." 

"Ok." he smiles and walks into the kitchen, straightening around and starting to put waffles in the toaster. 

A few minuets go by and Tyler hears the shower turn off, Anna mumbling something and he walks to the door, knocking twice. 

"Come in asshole." She seethes and Tyler walks in. 

"Don't call me an asshole." He mumbles with a frown 

"or what?" 

"Nothing." He says honestly and Anna seems disappointed. 

"Cmon, let's see." He says and she scowls, holding out her wrists and arms for Tyler to inspect. "Okay, legs?" He asks quietly and she shows him her ankles and upper legs. 

"...thighs." He mutters and her face turns red. 

"Cmon Anna its fine." He coaxes her and she sighs heavily, pulling down his sweatpants so he can see her bare, unmarked thighs. 

"Good girl." He smiles lovingly, exiting the room right when the toaster dings. 

Anna creeps in moments later, eyes drawn to the plate in front of her with a small smile. 

"Thank you." 

"No problem." Tyler winks, turning on the tv and switching to the weather. 

"Hurricanes. Lots of them." 

Anna has been notably more nervous around the time she found out about how many hurricanes were happening at the moment, and how they were heading towards our area. 

"Hurricane Irma, sources report, is roughly the size of the state of Ohio." The reporter says and Anna looks away from the tv, covering her ears and closing her eyes. 

Tyler curses and switches the channel to some show on HGTV with some overly happy married couple and he walks over to rub Anna's back soothingly. 

"It's ok, we're gonna be fine." He coos and she moves her hands, nodding frantically. 

"O-ok." 

"I'll protect you." 

"Thanks." She purrs softly, leaning back and rubbing her face in his shirt. 

she finishes the waffles and start putting the dishes in the dishwasher, Tyler watching her as she does. 

Her limp is gone, her walking much more normally besides having a cast on. Her arm is by far the best and Tyler thinks they could have it off by the end of the week. Her ribs are mostly healed though she claims they're still somewhat sore and her bruises have all cleared up. 

Today she's wearing his light grey basketball sweatpants from high school, and an oversized red sweatshirt with golden letters that read _Worthington Warriors Basketball_. 

She plops down on the couch next to him and cuddles closer , closing her eyes slowly and he nudges her. 

"No sleeping just yet he'll be-" 

_ding._

Anna flinches at the sound of the doorbell, looking at Tyler in fear and he pats her knee, sending her a reassuring glance and getting up to answer the door. 

"Hey dude-" Tyler opens the door to see Brendon standing in the hallway looking like death itself. His hair is an absolute mess, looking like a tornado just swept through it. He hasn't shaved it's obvious, and dark circles line the underside of his eyes. 

"Hi." He rasps, sending a signature smile and Tyler lets him in tentatively, eyeing him up as he walks. 

He closes the door hurriedly, walking in front of Brendon as he looks around the small living space. 

"Tyler you could afford something four times as nice as this." He scoffs and Tyler just shrugs. 

"It's comfortable. I don't need to impress anyone." 

"Sure." Brendon laughs, turning and looking at him. "Um...so...?" 

He looks nervous. 

He should be. 

"What?" 

"Where is she?" 

"Oh, uh, cmon." Tyler rounds the corner and sees that Anna is pressed into where the sectional couch meets the corner of the room, squished into the fabric and looking at her fingers. Tyler walks over and sits next to her, Anna immediately draping herself over him and holding onto his arm tightly. Brendon just stands awkward, nervous. 

He should be. 

"Sit." Tyler says in a welcoming way, gesturing to the couch and Brendon nods, sitting down cautiously. 

"So...Anna?" Brendon asks carefully and her eyes flicker up, meeting his. 

"I'm so so sorry about how I acted that day I feel absolutely terrible. Tyler told me about what happened to you and I understand how terrifying it must have been. I lost my job, for good reason too and it taught me to be more careful about what I do, and how I act before doing anything. Whether it be going to work or interacting with others I shouldn't let my personal life effect how I act and treat others." He spills all at once, sounding like an apology essay and I kinda like it. 

"I-it's ok." Anna squeaks and Brendon frowns sadly. 

"It's not, you shouldn't be so forgiving." He says and she shrugs 

"its over, I'm past it. Like Tyler says." 

I look down at her and smile, her returning the favor and Brendon sighs. 

"You guys are really cute." He says quietly and Anna blushes bright pink. 

"Thanks." I chuckle, taking her hand in my lap and playing with her fingers. 

"All of this is ok, right?" I whisper to her in a hushed tone, watching her intently and she nods. Without looking at me she speaks softly. 

"Anything that's thrown my way is ok if you're here too." Her words are said so purely and simply I stare at her just a little bit longer. 

 Just a little bit longer. 

In case she disappears. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was walking to health from lunch today with a friend and we were talking about health and shit. We were starting to pass Grant's locker, and he was facing it getting his stupid shit out and I panicked, looking away and continuing to try and talk but I fucking stuttered TWICE for the first time in MONTHS. Not to mention they were fucking BAD stutters too and I swear to god he fucking SNORTED I was about to slap that trick ass bitch upside the head


	22. Tuesday

"Whatcha doin?" Tyler glances over Anna's shoulder and looks at her phone. 

"just updating my social media so people don't think I'm dead." 

"oh alright." Tyler tuts, walking past her into the kitchen to make a sandwich. 

"should I tag twenty one pilots in this picture of your window?" she calls and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

"if you want, but that account's inactive." 

"it's whatever." she mutters, tapping at her phone and Tyler shakes his head slowly. 

"what do you want to do tonight?"

he hears her mumble something and he groans

"I cant hear you!" 

"Then turn down that shit!" she screams, making Tyler chuckle as he passes the kitchen counter and presses the button that halts the needle on his record player. The Killers Hot Fuss album stops in the middle of a word and he puts his hands on his hips. 

"what do you want to do tonight?" he repeats and Anna coughs. 

"can we go into the city?" she asks in a small voice and Tyler cringes, thinking for a second even though he knew she was going to ask it. 

"I...I don't know Anna..." he says nervously. 

"Why not?" She asks timidly and Tyler walks into the room. 

"I don't know just....your anxiety and it's big, and dark, and loud, and there's lots of scary people at night." He explains and Anna nods. 

She turns to look at him and pushes the hair out of her face "can we at least drive around the city?" Her eyes are wide and hopeful and at this point Tyler can't say no. 

"Yeah, of course." He smiles and she die too, hopping up and hugging him tightly. She pauses and takes a step back. 

I...I mean if you d-don't want to it's totally fine, you don't have to I- I'm sorry for asking." Tyler looks at her quizzically and holds her face in his hands gently. 

"Of course I do. I want to, you don't have to feel bad about asking." He assures her and she nods in understanding. 

 "I...I don't." she scoffs as if he's crazy. 

"yes you do, I know you do." he mumbles softly, rubbing her cheek with the swipe of his thumb. 

"No you don't..." she mumbles, burying her face in his chest and he chuckles. 

"You really wanna go?" he asks and she nods slowly, looking up with big hazel eyes. 

"kinda."

"then we'll go." Tyler smiles, standing up taller and walking into the kitchen. 

"Can I get changed first?" she asks quietly and Tyler nods. 

"of course you can." 

She disappears into his bedroom, and Tyler can hear the sink turn on. 

 "WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!" 

Tyler laughs, walking to the bedroom and leaning against the doorframe, "whatever you want to sweets." 

"But Tyler I'm so sick of wearing sweats, I don't have anything cute." she frowns, peeking into the room. "all my makeup's at home with all my clothes and shit." 

"wanna go tonight? I'll take you home and we'll get your stuff...sneak out." he lowers his voice and her mouth falls open. 

"TYLER!" 

"what?' he laughs and she gasps. 

"We can't do that!" 

"why?" 

She looks at him incredulously, an eyebrow raising in suspicion "you can't be serious." 

"why not?" he chuckles, tilting his head and she stares at him from across the room, biting the inside of her cheek. 

"because your such a goody two shoes there's no way we could pull that off." she smirks, rolling her eyes when he pouts. 

"you wanna try me? I'll take you to Springfeild in a heartbeat sweetie." he chuckles and she puts her hands on her hips. 

"I'll try you." 

"Ok then, get dressed we're going on a roadtrip." 

 Anna is dressed in a heartbeat, wearing her new flannel hoodie that Tyler bought her and black shorts. 

"you need anything?" He asks and she shakes her head. 

"Basically everything is already there." 

They start the drive, dimming streetlights illuminating the way and if it weren't for the radio both the kid's nervous breathing would be a haunting reminder of what could happen tonight. 

They're out of Columbus by now, the sun all the way gone and nowhere near coming back, hidden behind the horizon in an attempt at scaring Tyler. 

But he knows. 

He knows now. 

He won't be afraid. 

She's going home. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gross an boring but I'll update again soon! <3


	23. Tuesday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen Grant way too many times today and it's triggering my anxiety how fun :)

"Welcome to Springfeild!" Anna laughs uncomfortably, somewhere between enthusiastic and a yawn. 

"It's nice....nice hometown you got here." Tyler comments 

"No, it's too dark. Goes unnoticed." She mumbles, looking out the window. 

"that 7/11 there, me and Gabby were assaulted." she says it so casually Tyler actually starts to worry for a second. 

"It was fine it was just some old crazy guy." she laughs lightly. 

_it was fine._

"What...may I ask what happened?" 

"We were outside drinking some red bull and sharing a smoke when some guy comes up and tells us to take off our shirts." she laughs, "we said no and he spat at gabby but she dodged it then we ran." 

"Oh...well that's, unfortunate?" Tyler makes a face and Anna chuckles. 

"I guess so."

"So when you get to the courthouse you keep going straight..." she mutters and Tyler follows her instructions. 

Its dark. 

It's all in the dark to Tyler. 

There's some light posts, casting burnt orange light over the small town and Anna keeps calm, looks at things and places. It just occurs to Tyler that she most likely has millions of memories here. 

Some good

Some bad

Some in between. 

"So up here you take a right, we'll pass my old therapist and the cupcake place, then you keep going up the hill and past the Presbyterian church..." She drones on, pointing out landmarks and Tyler's mind stays on the first one. 

"I used to go to a Sunday school there, they had the best apple cider." she comments as they pass the old white building. 

"Presbyterian?" Tyler questions and she shrugs.

"My friend's church. My family's half Quaker half catholic but I don't really believe in anything at the moment." she sighs and Tyler closes his mouth. 

"ok go left, that's where I played basketball." 

At this Tyler's intrigued "basketball?" 

"Mhmm. Varsity for three years until I dropped out." 

"why?" he makes a sad expression and she does too.

"just wasn't interested anymore, wasn't good enough and didn't want to put in the effort. People saw bruises and cuts when I wore the uniform." she says in a quieter voice. 

"my ankles opted for a second choice, since the socks were long." she says even more quiet, and Tyler looks at the road in front of him. 

Keep your hands steady. 

"s-sorry" she mumbles, turning to look out the window.

"hey, there will always be better days." He says calmly, softly, keeping himself in control because god knows he'll say something wrong and then the conversation will be over. 

"'I know, I know." She mutters. "So this park up here, Everheart. I passed it everyday when I walked into town from school." 

"It's so dark, I'd like to get a tour once the sun comes back out." 

"We'll be long gone when it does." she laughs. "I plan on never coming back. Besides, someone would see me, there are so many kids that know me." 

"tomorrow's a school day. We can stay with Gabby?" 

"No. No we aren't staying." she says. It's mostly a command, and a power exchange Tyler wasn't prepared for. 

"C'mon..." he whines and she rolls her eyes.

"Keep going straight, and when you get to the huge tree at the top of the hill go left." she says without acknowledging his plea. 

"This house right here, they have two giant Burmese mountain dogs." she smiles, looking at the bare yard. 

"nice." 

"Ok, right up here and then keep going straight. At the top of the hill you go down, and then up the bigger house and it will be my driveway." she says softly and Tyler obeys, looking at the small houses lining the otherwise bare street. It's quiet, secluded from the nearby town. 

Soon Anna's telling him to stop and he does, at the bottom of a giant driveway that seems to be half a mile long. 

"damn." 

she laughs. "turn off your headlights." 

He does, creeping the car up slowly and seeing a semi giant house, made of stone, sitting atop the hill. 

"i-impressive." 

"thanks." she says cooly, looking in the darkened windows. 

There's a swing tied to the tree in the front of the yard and Tyler can see that Anna's eye have darkened. 

She looks terrified. 

They park silently in the driveway and Anna gets out, walking up to the house without so much as glancing at Tyler. 

She walks to the side door, then to the right a little under a window on the second floor. 

"My window. I always keep it unlatched." she whispers, looking at Tyler expectantly. 

"I...Uh..." 

"We could go in one of the doors, but they're damn creaky and everyone is sleeping." she notes, climbing up the stone and Tyler rushes forward. 

"Anna! You could fall come down!" he whisper screams but she hoists herself up on the slanted roof under the window and lifts it up slowly. 

"shut up, I've done this hundreds of times." 

Tyler doesn't want to know that. 

He climbs up as well, a little wobbly and nervous but moving none the less. 

She climbs in, the darkness of her room apparent. 

When he finally climbs in she turns on the lights against the wall, closing the door silently as to not disturb anyone or alert them of a presence. 

"just...sit on my bed." she whispers, gesturing to the wooden framed bed with a puffy black marble bedspread. 

Tyler does, sitting down carefully and hearing it squeak. 

"quiet." she winces, turning to the closet and opening it at a snail's pace. She gets out a pink striped Under Armor duffle bag and a small zippered bag with multicolored flowers. 

"alright." she mumbles to herself, busy with opening drawers silently and putting clothes into the duffle. Tyler looks to his right and sees a record player. There's gotta be at last 30 there which is pretty impressive. They're organized by what looks like color and Tyler sees that the record played last was an album by the Head and the Heart, still sitting atop the turner. 

There's a guitar in the corner, and a ukulele in the window sill. Band posters are on the wall and he sees a familiar cassette on her bedside table.

"anna." he hisses and she whips around. 

"why do you have a twenty one pilots cassette?" he implores and she shrugs, looking around wildly once again. 

"must've found it in the free bin at the place in town." 

Tyler nods, sucking on his teeth. Nice. 

She slowly zips the duffle, padding over on the grey carpet and smoothing her hand over the side of his face. 

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, but for the record I loved the music while it lasted." 

He smiles, pulling her closer and the bead creaks, making her huff out a laugh. 

"for the record I love you." 

she blushes, burying her face in the crook of his neck and sighs. "I can't comprehend that I'm here. It's been months." 

"Yeah it has." Tyler adds, looking over her shoulder and around once more. "have anaything else you need?" 

"this," she grabs a stuffed lamb behind him, putting it in a small backpack under the bed. "this," she grabs a giant pink tye dye hoodie, "and this." lastly she goes to her desk and grabs a laptop, the charger, and a cassette player. 

"I like the glowsticks." Tyler notes, looking at the obviously worn, dead glowsticks hiding around the room. 

"thanks." she whispers. 

"want your uke?" he asks, and she shakes her head despite the longing painted across her face when she does. 

"I...I can just use yours, it's fine." 

There's a photo album above her desk that she snatches last minute, stuffing it into the backpack that she puts into the duffle along with the small zippered bag and she puts it out the window, onto the roof and she turns out the lights, making a small clicking noise. She walks back over to Tyler, standing between his legs from where he's perched on the bed and kissing him gently. Her arms are around his neck and suddenly It's dark, and all he can hear is her, all he can feel is her. 

The light isn't gone for long however, because the door cracks open and light from the hallway filters in, revealing the silhouette of a boy who looks older then Anna. She jumps away from him, pulling her arms away and spinning around to face the door with an almost inaudible 'fuck.' 

"Anna?" A male voice asks and Tyler can hear her breath hitch. 

"Keagen?" 

"what the fuck are you doing?" he whispers urgently and she can't seem to find the words in need of a response. 

"why are you here, where have you been...who is  _he?_ " the boy asks, obviously appalled and she opens her mouth and closes it. 

"he...I'm...we're..." she's at a loss for words, and the boy comes closer and hugs her tightly. 

"I was so worried about you." he whispers and kisses her forehead. 

"I missed you so much." she whimpers, burying her face in his shirt and Tyler feels his face heat up. 

He doesn't feel he should be seeing this. 

"Ok, um, mom and dad are asleep so what are we gonna do about this?" he asks, gesturing to her and she shrugs. 

mom and dad? 

Tyler tilts his head involuntarily and stares at the boy. He's tall, brown fluffy curly hair, dark inky brown eyes and wearing a green Billabong shirt. 

This must be her brother. 

"I...we're staying until tomorrow. This is, Tyler. My...My boyfriend." she confirms, looking back at Tyler who sits in shocked silence. 

"Um...hello." the boy says in a deep voice and Tyler waves stupidly. 

"we're staying at Andrew's. I'll text you tomorrow morning at we'll meet at Market street okay?" she whispers and he frowns. 

"Anna that gives you just enough time to run off again, I know how you work." 

"I...just trust me. Keagen, this once." she looks up at him with big pleading eyes and he bites the inside of his cheek before nodding with a small sigh. 

"fine." 

"okay, see you in a few hours." she says hurriedly, grabbing Tyler's arm and leading him towards the window. 

"the window? You're such a high schooler." Keagen sighs, rolling his shoulders and leaving the room quietly, shutting the door behind him. 

Once Tyler hits the ground, duffle in hand, Anna drops to the mulch beside him, much more graceful, much more gentle. 

It's as if her foot is fine. 

It honestly baffles Tyler how she did that, in such a short amount of time as well. 

"so are you going to explain to me what the hell just happened?" he asks, getting in the car. 

"yep, hold on just give e a second."

She nods, getting out her phone and quickly typing in a number, whining softly when it takes longer then expected for the owner to pick up. 

"Andrew? It's...it's Anna." she pauses for a good amount of time, biting her lip with worried eyes. 

"I-yes it's me." she sighs. "I...I know Andrew just listen." 

It occurs to Tyler that once people realize it's Anna,  _the_ Anna, that they don't care about what she's done or what time it is, they just care that she's safe. She's actually on the phone and honestly it's been getting her out of alot of confrontations. 

"I need a place to stay overnight, can a friend and I stay over tonight?" she asks, looking at Tyler nervously before sighing into the phone.

"one night Andrew, we can sleep in Mike's room." 

There's a pause on the other line and Tyler hears a male sigh. 

"yes, yes of course." he hears a small voice and Anna smiles brightly. 

"Ok, thank you so much babe I love you!" she squeaks, hanging up and looking at Tyler. 

"we have a place to stay." 

It's a small house, the one they pull up to next. Its at the end of a cul de sac, with a wooden fence surrounding the backyard and from what Tyler can tell, a pool. All the lights are on, shadows moving around inside.

"Ok so, I'll go in first then I'll come get you-" 

"_no. I'm coming in with you." Tyler says sternly and Anna's voice falters. 

"Oh, um...okay. Okay." she says, nodding her head in agreement. No hesitation. 

They walk up to the front doors, leaving her bags in the car and as they approach the door opens, a boy about the age of Anna opening the door and smiling at her, eyes wet and sparkling. 

"Anna!" he yells in relief, enveloping her in a tight hug and burying his face in her neck. She laughs and from what Tyler can hear, choke back a small sob. 

he's grown accustomed to the sound of her crying. 

Its something he can recognize. 

Tyler hears the clicking of toenails, and A large golden retriever comes bounding into the room, jumping on Anna and she laughs. 

"Lucy! Hi girlie!" she coos, the dog in a blissful state as Anna rubs her ears.

She pulls away, backing up against Tyler and it's only now that the boy notices Tyler. His eyes grow wide, an he takes a few steps back. 

"Uh...w-who is this?" his voice is high, nasally, feminine. 

"this is my...boyfriend Tyler." she mutters the boyfriend part, and Andrew furrows his eyebrows, looking skeptical. 

"I...nice to meet you." he says quietly, looking Tyler in the eyes and he nods, keeping quiet. It's obvious this boy is intimidated. Maybe even scared. Who knows what kind of people Anna has brought to meet him. 

"nice to meet you as well." Tyler reciprocates and the boy looks at the ground. He looks so young. 

"This is my very best friend, Andrew." she says sweetly, looking at the boy endearingly. It's obvious he doesn't feel the same. Of course he's her friend. But Tyler's no idiot, he knows longing when he sees it. 

This boy is in love with her. 

And obviously extremely upset at her turn of events. 

He steps back to let them in, Anna going in and seeing two people that look alot like Andrew standing in the doorway. 

"Oh Anna we were so worried!" the woman exclaims, pulling her in for a hug and now Anna  _is_ crying. 

"it's ok, I-I'm fine." 

"And who are you?" The man asks, gesturing to Tyler and Anna takes his hand. 

"This is my nurse and boyfriend Tyler. He's helped me for about two months since I got to the hospital. 

The three of them stare at Anna and Tyler in a mixture of shock, confusion, and immense concern. 

"Hospital?" the woman Tyler presumes is Andrew's mom asks, and Anna nods. 

"It's a very long story, I would prefer not to tell it now." she says quietly and the woman nods. 

"I understand, we'll talk later."

"perhaps." Anna says in a small voice. She's so polite with them, they're so patient and caring and just so...sweet. All three of them. 

It's like a second family. 

"We um, set up Mike's old room for the two of you. Tyler?" The woman says and Tyler nods in response. 

They set up a room for them. 

They've been up at almost 2 in the morning for Anna and some stranger. 

These people can't get any nicer.

"Could you go up there and get ready for bed?" she asks and he gives Anna a nervous look. 

"go on, Tyler." she says reassuringly and he nods to himself repeatedly, walking up the stairs and into the only room with a made bed and a sign on the door that says  _Mike._

 

There's muffled voices coming from downstairs. 

The woman is lecturing Anna. 

Anna sounds distressed. 

Andrew sounds relived 

The man is silent. 

 If Tyler had ever imagined Anna as a part of a functioning, loving family, this would be it. Her being scolded for disappearing, her father silent and just so overall glad to have her back he doesn't have the guts to yell, and her brother so so happy to see his sister again after so long, and to see her ok. 

There's the mention of the name Grant, Andrew's mother sounding disappointed and concerned, and Anna crying. 

Not unexpected. 

Not expected either. 

the conversation goes on for a little longer, Anna cutting in abruptly with a "I'm really tired, I'm gonna go check on Tyler." 

There's footsteps up the stairs and Tyler gets his phone out and starts scrolling through social media, pretending he wasn't just eavesdropping. 

The door cracks open. 

"fuck." she sighs heavily, flopping on the bed and rubbing her face. The skin stretches and contorts and she whimpers. 

"The kind of parents I've dreamed about, once I finally have them I'm exhausted." she laughs, leaning against his chest and he plays with her hair. 

"Yeah well, it's better then nothing." he says sadly and if she caught on to the truthfulness behind it she made in incantation of acknowledging it. 

"I suppose so."

Another couple pairs of footsteps slowly make their way up the staircase in the hallway and Anna leans over, turning out the light and leaning against Tyler. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 


	24. Wednesday

Tyler wakes to bright sunlight filtering into a foreign room through navy blue curtains. He's alone. 

She's gone. 

She's  ran away. 

She's back in Columbus. 

He sits up, panicked, face whipping around the room and then he hears her laugh from downstairs. 

Oh thank god. 

Tyler fixes himself up, looking as presentable as possible before creeping down the stairs, pausing to listen while Anna speaks. 

"...I did'nt know why I still missed him, until I remembered how he used to be. He is very missable, that version of Grant." 

He stops all together, breathing heavily and looking at the bottom of the stairs. One of the steps creaks beneath his weight and he cringes, keeping still. 

"Tyler just come down it's fine!" Anna calls and he blushes furiously, assuming he's made to much noise and he climbs the rest of the flight down, turning nervously into the kitchen area where Anna is sitting with Andrew, his mother making eggs. 

 "Good morning Tyler!" The woman greets, Tyler nodding with a red face, taking his place next to Anna, wrapping an arm around her. 

"How old are you, Tyler?" She asks, putting eggs on a large plate and frying bacon. 

"I'm...I'm twenty two ma'am." He says quietly, Andrew coughing into his orange juice. 

"And you know that Anna is seventeen?" She raises an eyebrow and Tyler nods. 

"Yes ma'am." 

"So in short, you know that she's five years younger then you." 

"I'm going to be eighteen in a few days Mrs Urzillo." she sighs, intervening the conversation. 

"I know that...four years then." she says coolly and Tyler nods.  

 "Yes." 

"So you know then, about her and what she's been through?" The woman asks, Tyler blushing and Anna rolls her eyes dramatically. 

"Yes, he does, he's taken care of me  for two months of course I've told him." 

"so you understand how important it is to keep her safe?" she turns to me and I nod furiously. 

"Um...y-yes."  

"Ok then." She sighs, patting Anna's head. "eat up, you'll need energy with those injuries Anna." 

She nods, looking at the food silently and Andrew hops up. 

"I'm already tardy, I'll see you guys later!" He smiles and kisses Anna's cheek, grabbing a backpack and running out the door. 

"Huh?" I turn to her and she shrugs. 

"School Tyler. Its Wednesday." 

"Oh right." I laugh, starting to eat and she just sighs and sits back. 

"Aren't we supposed to meet your brother somewhere?" I ask and she stares off into space for a minute before spinning to look at me. 

"shit!" 

"language." the woman reminds us, calling from the other room. 

"sorry!" 

"We have to go!" she grabs my arm and gets up quickly. 

"woah woah, calm down there." I shush her, getting up slowly and putting the plates in the sink. 

"he'll be waiting, he thinks I'll just run away again!" she says in a panicked voice. 

"chill, just calm down and put on some normal clothes I'll take you in five minutes, call him." 

she nods furiously, getting out her phone and dialing quickly. 

"hi? Keagen I'm so sorry we overslept and I....I know, I get it I'm sorry ok? We'll be there in seven." She says and without saying anything she runs up the staircase and slams the door. 

In the car Anna is a wreck, trying to fix her hair and direct Tyler at the same time. 

"You look great, calm down sweetness it's fine." Tyler assures her, turning into town and driving past the courthouse. 

"Right here." she instructs, looking into the mirror and putting on several coats of mascara. 

"why do you suddenly care about what you look like?" 

"because I know people in this town, and they know me." she says rushed, not really answering his question. 

"ok then..." he says, pulling up to a restaurant that looks moderately nice. Homey with plants hanging in the windows and colorful paintings on the inside. 

"he's in a booth, oh, there." she says with a shy smile, running up to the boy and sitting down. Tyler does as well and he smiles at Anna, giving Tyler a glare. 

"Hey Ann, hello." He says in regards to Tyler, looking him up and down. 

"he's alot older then Grant was." he says to Anna, judgement clear in his voice. 

"yes well-" 

"-alot more attractive too. I guess." he shrugs and Anna laughs. 

"I guess?" 

Tyler gives her a weird look and she laughs, hitting his arm. 

"only kidding." 

"I'm sorry we're late, Andrew wanted to catch up before school and we just distracted." she sighs and Keagen nods. 

"its ok, but I do have to go home soon, summer's over." 

"I know I know." she sighs, resting her head on Tyler's shoulder and looking at her brother. 

"I used to work here." 

"really?" Both Tyler and Keagen say at the same time and she chuckles.

"mhmm. Waitress." 

"Oh." Keagen breathes, looking at her. "you've really grown since I left for college." 

"yeah." she sighs once again, sounding tired but looking like she has enough energy to run a 5k. 

"when are you going back to...wherever you guys came from?" he asks, looking almost nervous and Anna shrugs. 

"tonight?" Tyler wants to see town and we still have to say goodbye and thank Andrew's family." 

"Alright, you should see mom and dad though." 

"no, I don't think we will." she says casually.

"Anna-" 

"-no. Keagen, no." she snaps, picking up a fork and playing with it. 

"fine. Whatever I can't make you." he says just as pissed off and Tyler is beginning to see the resemblance. 

They both don't like being bossed around. 

 She sighs heavily, looking at Tyler through her peripheral vision and he glances at her. 

"Hmm?" 

"So, I think...um...we're gonna go." she says softly, rubbing Keagen's face with a gentle hand and he doesn't move away. 

"I guess I can't stop you." he says quietly. It's sad, really, and Tyler feels the emotional connection between the two. 

"Bye KP." she says, getting up and Tyler follows, nodding at the younger boy and walking out with Anna. She takes a right, walking up to the courthouse across the street and plopping down on the large white marble steps. 

"This place is so pretty." Tyler notes, looking around at the architecture of the colonial town. 

"You haven't even seen the half of it." she snorts, rolling onto her back and suddenly gasping. 

"what? What is it?" Tyler asks rushed, worriedly and she smiles. 

"I have to show you something!" she says with a mischievous smile, taking his hand and jumping up. 

On their way up the street she drags him behind her, stopping at a red light and turning to face him, a bright smile glowing on her face. 

All hope is not lost when you’ve got smiles like that.  
There are all kinds of smiles in this world, but some you memories. Some you learn by heart.

Her's is one of those smiles. 

And I feel lucky just to be the guy to see it. 

 

"Wow." 

Tyler stands at the wall on the far edge of the parking garage roof, looking out over the town and the cloudy sky. 

(actual one of my pictures) 

 

"Yeah I know, right?" she smiles excitedly and leans over the edge. 

"Yeah, hey hey hey!" Tyler grabs her waist, tugging her back and she laughs. 

"Stop!" 

"C'mon, you'll hurt yourself." he chuckles, dragging her away and she fake pouts. 

"I wanna see the edge." 

"too bad, I ain't risking it." he tuts, walking in front of her and hugging her waist. 

"you're such a dope." she giggles, burying her face in the crook of his neck 

There's a bang and giggles behind us, Anna jumping away from me and looking over my shoulder. 

"holy shit." she breathes. It's half disbelief, half anger. 

 I turn around, seeing a tall boy and a small thin girl stumble onto the roof. 

I take a better look. 

I can recognize one. 

And then I’m here, standing next to Anna, and he hasn’t changed shape. He hasn’t transformed into someone who merely looks like him. It's him.

It's Grant. 

And Anna takes a quick inhale. 

The two stop, both parties realizing that this is literally the worst case scenario. 

Anna takes a step behind Tyler, gripping his shirt and most likely making an effort to look completely hidden, like if they can't see her she doesn't exist. 

Grant walks closer, making Anna start to hyperventilate. 

"So, home again are we?" he shouts and Anna cries into my shoulder. The other girl has ran, fled from the scene and I'm honestly glad she did, good for her for getting out of here. 

"Is this your new boytoy?" he snorts and Tyler scoffs. 

"Better then you'll ever be." he sneers and Grant raises an eyebrow. 

"Please don't." Anna mutters 

"Oh stuff it." Grant rolls his eyes and surges forward, looking behind me. 

"Hello." he says in a soft voice and Anna starts shaking. 

"why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" Grant asks quietly and Anna looks at the ground. 

"why do you care?' she spits and Tyler turns to look at her. 

"because I care-" 

"No you don't! Why don't you tell  _me_ why you were coming up here with fucking Jamie Turner?" She snarls and Grant looks moderately offended. 

"I...I was..." 

"What? The same thing you did with me?" she puts her hands on her hips and Grant bites his cheek. 

"what are you implying?" he looks at her nervously, glancing at Tyler who's standing by until he's needed. 

“You don’t even know what you’re asking. You don’t know how to treat people, you –”

"-don't tell me what I can and can't do." he warns, steeping closer and Anna stands taller, wiping her face furiously. 

"You are such an asshole!" she screams and that Jamie girl looks scared shitless. 

"What did I even do?" He yells back, shoulders hunched like they always are and she's red in the face but still so strikingly beautiful and it amazes me. 

"You left me! You used me and you left me all alone..." she trails off and he rolls his eyes. 

"You broke it off, you weren't hurt, remember?'

"I wasn't hurt?!" she scowls, fists tightly drawn together. 

"You seemed fine!" 

"When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't." she says in a strong voice, eye contact seemingly unbreakable and Tyler is so proud. He's so impressed. 

"I...I can you bitch!" he yells, his argument faltering and Anna laughs. 

"Fuck, you’re not... you’re not even a decent human being. You’re cruel, and you’re vile. I can’t believe I was letting myself fall in love with you.” she says quietly, staring at him with sadness now, not even anger. 

"You can't say that, I did so much-" 

"You know what? You look a little sorry. Maybe. Or maybe I just hope that you do, that this is hurting you too. That the past few months have been as torturous for you as they’ve been for me. That you missed me. All of it. That sometimes it’s all you can think of, and the loss hangs over you, pushing you down." 

he looks completely floored by now, staring her. 

"You don't get to talk to me like that, I'm n-not sorry you're just delusional." he stumbles over his words, looking at her angrily while she smirks. 

"Yeah. I am delusional, but you made me this way." she's taking risks, she's standing up for herself. 

Tyler knows neither of them can see him, they're in a different world. 

He's just here to witness it.

He's just here for protection. 

"No I didn't. This is all you sweetheart I was just along for the ride, you're physco." He scoffs and turns to leave but there's no way she's letting him go that easy.

"You know what? I am physco! I'm off my rocker in fact! But I was fine before you came along! I was fucking fine, and now I’m not! I’m a fucking mess! And it’s your fault, all your fault, so you don’t get to walk away from me!” she screams. 

He stops. 

He stops in his tracks. 

And he turns. 

There's a loud crack, and a small choked off noise. 

Anna flies back, hitting Tyler's chest. 

He did not. 

He did not just fucking do that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's having a mental breakdown and has no one to talk to because she shuts people out in fear of becoming a burden?  
> That's right it's me.


	25. backflash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *this is a first person point of view*

_"Where the **fuck** do you think you're going? You  **can't**_ _live without me!"  he screams, grabbing my wrist and I turn away, trying to keep walking but there's nails digging into the soft skin of my wrist and I choke down a whimper._

_"I..."_

_"No! Shut up!"_

_"B-but-"_

_"This is all **your** fault, Anna. You bring all of this on yourself." _

_"I...I don't-"_

_He growls, dragging me closer and I cry out, receiving nothing in response._

_"There you go, doing the victim thing again. Don't you get it? No one cares! I'm **all** you have you ungrateful  **slut**!" _

_"Can you p-please let g-go?" I whimper, staring up at him and the light makes it so much worse. It's hitting the side of his face, hiding half and at this point in time he looks like a monster._

_He is a monster._

_But I let him right in._

_I feel my face twitch to the right, it's signature side, and his brow furrows in worry._

_he always was at least a little bit worried. About me._

_"You are surrounding, all my surroundings sounding down the mountain range..." I hear music playing from the speakers at the top of the stadium. It's familiar._

_"Anna!" Grant snaps, forcing my attention back to him._

_"w-what?"_

_"what?!" he yells, "have you been listening at all?"_

_"um...y-yes?"_

_"Your fucking ADHD is going to be the death of me." he bites his cheek and looks at the sky._

_Did he just fucking say that?_

_I look up at the sky too, hoping to see a shooting star or a comet or fucking anything I can wish on to **get out of here.**_

_"Listen to me! You're **useless**!" He growls, yanking me behind the stadium and pinning me against the wall. _

_I'm crying._

_"shit...y-you're crying..." he mumbles, looking me over with inky dark brown eyes on the border of concern and then he's hugging me._

_"I...I'm sorry." he mumbles, looking like a kicked puppy and I continue to cry, big wet tears streaming down my face._

_There's arms around me and I'm suddenly aware he's trying to show affection._

**_affection._ **

_" I-I'm sorry, I mean, I...I'm sorry it won't happen again I-I'm sorry." he whispers, sounding sorry but I jut know he doesn't feel it._

_We're in public._

_He can't be doing this._

_"Just, shhh, be quiet. Calm down. I-I didn't mean it just...it...it won't happen again I'm sorry."_

_" **It won't happen again.** " _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw check out "Villain" by social repose on youtube he's actually pretty good.


	26. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is in Tyler's POV and it's kinda short but it's all I can get out pf myself right now

(Tyler's POV)

 

It is assumed Anna weighs somewhere around 140 pounds. She's tall, build, and strong. 

The impact of her weight against my chest is similar to the weight of a punching bag. Similar, but not quite as heavy. It's still enough to make me stumble back and find purchase in her waist. 

She turns to me, the wind so obviously knocked out of her and she looks up with bright eyes. They're shining. 

Tears. 

Only then is when I realize just how much she looks like the Anna I met at around 9 o clock on a Monday night. 

The smirk has vanished, leaving a shadow of a smile over her shocked face and there are stars swimming in her doll like hazel green eyes. She's scared. 

I feel the vibration. 

I feel her shaking. 

And I know the shivers will now travel to her throat and skew her words, jumble up her pleas and it's all going to go downhill from there. 

And she's still staring at me. 

Fading tanned skin splattered with dark freckles litter her arms and nose, her cheeks and her shoulders. Her soft petal pink lips are parted in confused disbelief and her tamed brown eyebrows are furrowed in anger. There's a reddening light purple splotch spreading quickly over the soft skin of her cheek, and it's like with one hit he's washed away all the good I've done, revealing old bruises and scars once again.  

In this small fraction of a moment I notice everything; how her eyelashes are so long they touch the crease under her eyebrows, how there's a single freckle perched along her cupid's bow, the fact that there's a small acne scar right between her brows, almost but not quite blending in with the other brown speckles. 

"Anna." 

She spins back to  _him,_ hair whipping around her in tangled beach waves I've grown so accustomed to and she  _growls,_ planting hr feet and eyeing up the tall lanky boy with hooded eyes. 

She laughs, a sugar coated noise of pure sarcasm and takes a step forward, "You didn't just do that. I know you didn't." 

He shrugs, and I'd be lying if there wasn't a split second when I saw fear in his eyes. 

"Oh," she scoffs softly, putting a finger to her mouth tentatively and pulling it away, this time it's coated in a thin layer of red. "It seems you have really done it." 

He looks at her carefully, dark eyes against bright and at this point they're both holding ground, both scowling, and both so obviously wanting to rip the other to shreds. 

They hate each other. 

They have to. 

Cause if they don't, the  that just means this is an extremely unhealthy relationship. 

It goes on for a few minutes, unsettling quiet atop the parking garage and I try and take step back. 

I know when I'm needed. 

She doesn't need me. 

Not yet. 

He isn't going to hit her again. 

After a while she blinks, more then once and I can almost see tears. "I can't...I just can't believe you let it get this bad." She sighs, running a hand through her hair and looking up at something in the sky neither of the other two people here can see. "Fuck, you never even said sorry." she looks him dead in the eye, you can tell she's struggling to hold contact and he is too, finally looking away with a sharp sigh. 

He opens his mouth, closing it not long after and looks at the ground. 

"I...I did." 

"Grant that's such bullshit and you know it, drunken promises of you never doing it again or, that you're sorry isn't going to work anymore." 

"I...I meant it." 

"Then why did it keep happening again, and again, and again?" her voice is higher, almost a whine and he cringes. 

"My temper-"

"Grant." she looks at him incredulously, "You can't blame sober rape on a temper." 

It's silent. 

 Completely, and utterly, 

silent. 

"I'm so-"

"We all know you're sorry, we know you'd truly apologize but it's your fucking pride that's stopping you. You think you're so superior and I'm getting tired of it." 

His eyes flicker up to her, looking her up over and it seems he's only just noticed the casts on her arm and leg. 

"Fuck, I...I..." he scowls, looking back down at the ground and never have I seen such an internal struggle. 

He can't let her win. 

He's convinced himself he didn't do anything

That she's crazy. 

That he's always right. 

"You know what?" she takes another step forward and get's level with him, straightening her posture and lowering her eyes. 

"You don't even have to say sorry. I know you won't because in all honesty, you're a wuss, and I can't waste anymore time thinking about how you could change or how I could help you change when you're obviously not going to." she puts her hands on her hips. 

"i think it's about time this story's over, William." she announces, speaking loudly and clearly and I don't even know what's happening right now. 

Who the fuck is William? 

Why the hell is she calling him that. 

Fuck, wait... 

that's his real name. 

"After all this time that you still owe, you're still that good-for-nothing I don't know." She rolls her eyes and he cocks his head, looking mildy angry but still not having the heart to insult her. 

it's finally happening. 

He doesn't want to fight her anymore. 

He knows he's wrong. 

He's mortified, you can tell. 

He's beat her, berated her, insulted and degraded her. Threatened her and abused her. 

And he's just now realizing the effect it's had.

"Anna I. I was...we were young, I wanted you and you wanted love and it just got fucked up. I fucked it up. I asked for too much and you tried to back out and I...Fuck! I didn't even fucking let you!" he holds his forehead and and looks at her in such a desperate way you would think she'd take him back. 

"When you go," she starts, making a small, heartbreaking noise in her throat before sniffing "would you have the  _guts_ to say, I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday." 

He's caught on by now, looking at her sadly and standing still so close. 

"Anna..." 

They're so close. 

They were so close. 

She shakes her head, choking on a sob and looking at the ground, a hand going to her cheek just to remind herself that he's bad. 

He's a bad man.

She knows what she has to do. 

He blinks, dead, inky eyes almost  _watery,_ and she straightens herself up once again, breathing slow and heavy and closes her eyes. 

"I don't love you, like I loved you...yesterday." 

 


	27. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit guys my bad there are some triggers in this so I'm gonna put them up. 
> 
> Almost? Rape/Yelling/fighting/slurs/violence 
> 
> I'm just feeling fucked up tonight.

Two months later

 

 

 It's raining for the first time in about a month. 

Anna and Tyler decide to celebrate by sitting on the small deck with umbrellas. 

"It's so so so nice." she laughs, leaning back in the white painted deck chair with flakes of paint falling off whenever she moves. 

"You're right about that. 

 November's been a cool month in Columbus, the two kids keeping huddled in Tyler's apartment most of the times they're together. 

He goes to work. 

She tries online school. 

"what time is it?" She looks over at him and he checks his watch. 

"quarter after four." 

"Oh ok." 

"something wrong?" he raises an eyebrow and she shakes her head.

There were always things that were wrong, but the thing is she refused to tell Tyler what was the matter. he knew she was upset, but she never wanted to talk about it. It was a spiral. Things had been gotten bad, then good again. 

Tyler was waiting for the latter to appear once more. 

I mean, it was only a matter of time before something happened, no one can ever be happy for too long right?

 It was still always obvious to everyone, new people and older friends that she had some kind of problem, she made it easy to figure out by the way she played with her hair or fiddled her thumbs all the time. She was quiet, and so so unnaturally shy in public. The one thing they have yet to do is go for a "fancy" dinner. She's told him before how paranoid she can get at restaurants and to be completely honest, he'd known anyway. 

They had started to sleep in the same bed, they had been for about a month but Anna had told Tyler to sleep on his own, that her nightmares were keeping him up and that he needed sleep. Her nightmares were a major problem. She'd kick and scream, whimper and cry and pushing Tyler away. She would scream until Tyler had to physically manhandle her until she finally woke up. The times that she did were dangerous. She'd forget where she was and who Tyler is and those were the nights when it got bad. But knowing Tyler he would never be able to sleep knowing Anna was in the other room having a night terror. 

She said he cared too much. 

He said there was nothing wrong with that. 

Anna never liked being the center of attention, never liked being pitied and Tyler knew that. He was just the kind of person that had to protect, the kind of person that had to make everything better or it would all be over. He had to save the day because he was never able to in the past. He had let everything slip away. He was determined not to let it happen again. 

Everyday it would be something new. Sometimes Tyler would come back from work to find Anna making him dinner, sometimes she'd be asleep, sometimes she'd overdose on his sleeping pills and sometimes she would scare him half to death by going and sitting out on the porch with the curtains pulled shut. He wouldn't be able to find her and it would take over fine minutes to figure out she hadn't run away or had gotten abducted 

He never could read her. She wasn't a book. She was a person. And a very confusing one at that. 

 "You know, I never really thanked you for it all." she says quietly, looking over the barricade on the deck and watching rain hit the roofs across from them. 

"Of course you did." Tyler laughs softly, looking at the way her eyes close slowly, the skin around the area puffy and swollen, slightly pink and he knows she'd been crying. 

Of course he knows. 

She sighs, getting up and making her way over to him, standing at his knees until he uncrossed his legs and she was able to crawl into his lap. 

He held the umbrella above her. 

Some of his old shirts had been cut by her, the collars destroyed so they would hang off her frame and expose her shoulders and collar bones. She smelled like the pear scented soap they had, crisp and clean and her skin so soft and smooth. She had gained a healthy amount of weight, her body had become well rounded over the course of a few months and a lot of Tyler's clothes didn't swamp her as much as they had before. her hair had grown out shoulder length, all brown now and still the tangled wavy mess that always smelled like strawberry kids shampoo even though that's not what she used. 

"I don't think so." 

"well I do." he retaliates, resting his head on her shoulder. 

"I'm sorry I don't let it show, but I never want to let you go." She whispers, leaning her own head back on his chest. 

"You don't have to." 

Her breathing starts to stutter, her voice breaking and Tyler puts down the umbrella and just holds her. 

"P-please, just don't leave me in the middle of a memory." 

Tyler closes his eyes, tries not to think too hard about what that might mean, and buries his face in her skin. 

"I would never dream of it." 

Times like these in their small household were rare, raw emotion was always present but sharing it was almost non existent. It was as if she thought she had shared too much early on and was trying to be more quiet, for both of their sakes. 

They stayed like that for quite some time, just laying together and listening to the pattern of rain on the surrounding rooftops and the slow breathing expelling in clouds before them. 

They stayed like that for quite some time. 

It was a cute routine that they had. Tyler leaving for work in the early hours of the morning only to return around one or two, to spend the rest of the day with Anna only to repeat it again the next day. Anna would stay at home and do school work, make lunch for herself and sometimes walk to the hospital and bring him lunch as well. 

Days like that were very rare, and only on the special occasions when she felt brave enough to make the journey. 

When Tyler got home he would shower and help Anna with schoolwork, and go about his own business while she watched tv or got started on dinner. They cooked so much more, sometimes getting delivery when the other was sick which surprisingly happened often. Anna had a weak immune system. And the couple times she'd gotten sick in the past two months Tyler had taken off work to take care of her, much to the younger's dismay. Around the first month after she had come to stay permanently, her casts had been removed and she was taken off the antibiotics. 

Anna cried for two days. She yelled at Tyler and screamed at him and Tyler didn't know why. 

She never said why. 

Perhaps it was just the sudden drastic change was too much for her, and she was overwhelmed with the new freedoms and feelings. 

Perhaps it was because the pain killers numbed her emotional pain, not just the physical. 

"Do you want to get dinner started?" Anna yawns, climbing out of the elder's lap and he nods, stretching before following her inside and cracking his back. 

The house is a welcoming warmth compared to the outside. Anna figured out how to light a fire one day and Tyler figured out how to hook up the Netflix so it actually loaded half the time. Stranger Things played on the tv while a small fire crackled away and Anna turned on the stove and filled a pot with water. 

"is pasta ok?" She looks over her shoulder and Tyler smiles. 

"Of course." 

He sets the table and sits at the island while she carefully pours the pasta into the boiling water.

"Be care-" 

"-I know." she says in a focused way, putting the lid on the pot and throwing away the cardboard box. 

They sit and eat, talking about the hospital and Anna's classes and what they should do over the weekend. 

"I was thinking of having Gabby come over again, maybe Andrew?" Tyler raises an eyebrow and Anna shrugs. 

"that'd be fun. I don't know if Andrew would be up for it though." 

"why?" 

"I dunno. He feels threatened by you I think." she takes a bite of her food and Tyler chuckles. 

"why? My rugged good looks or your infatuation with me?" 

She rolls her eyes "both." 

They sit in the quiet for a little bit, the muted sound of unimportant dialog coming from the living room. 

"Tyler?" Anna looks up from her plate and gives him a quizzical look. 

"yeah?" 

"are you bisexual?" she asks and Tyler almost chokes on his fork. 

"w-what makes you ask that?" he laughs and her eyes lower. 

"I don't know you just don't seem like a total straightie." 

"well I'm straight enough for you." he laughs and she smiles. 

"we haven't had sex." she says pointedly.

"we talked about that." he snaps back, giving her a warning look and she sighs. 

"I didn't forget." 

"Anna I know that you have done many things before, with your other partners, but maybe I haven't...really..." Tyler says in a confused way and she eats her pasta with a smirk. 

"what?" he asks and she shrugs. 

"nothin." 

"Oh, really?"

"yup." she smiles, picking up her plate and padding to the sink. 

"what, you think I'm...unexperienced?" Tyler creeps up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. 

she laughs, "No. I just, think maybe you're bluffing." 

"about the bi part yes." he chuckles and her eyes widen

"I knew it!" 

He smiles and lets her waist go, grabbing her wrist instead and dragging her to the couch. 

"I'm bi, but I guess I'm more straight then ever thanks to you." 

"Huh?" she tilts her head ad he sits down, pulling her against his chest like before. 

cuddling was an important part of their relationship. Contact was pivotal. 

"I had a long term boyfriend about a year ago." he says quietly and she frowns sadly. 

"what happened?" 

Tyler bites the inside of his cheek and she looks up quickly. 

"Oh no, wait...is he the...the one you don't talk about?" her eyes widen and she looks horrified "I..I'm sorry we'll talk about something else it's alright Tyler let's-"

"-He died." Tyler whispers, hugging her tightly "h-he killed himself." 

Anna doesn't say anything, just holds him just as tight and runs her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. 

"shhh, it's ok. I'm here. I'm right here it's alright." she coos, holding him to her chest and Tyler wasn't even aware he was crying until now. 

“I’m ok.” He mumbles, trying to pull away but she holds him closer.  

 "You don't have to be." she whispers into his hair, sighing softly and Tyler closes his eyes. 

He doesn't have to be? 

He doesn't have to be ok? 

He can be not ok? 

Happiness was a cliche, he'd learned that by this point. 

No one is happy, or truly happy for that matter. Happy is not a state of mind, or a way of living. It's an emotion. 

and emotions only last so long. 

"o-ok." he breathes, resting his head on the skin between her collarbone and the hem of her shirt. It's a long, soft, military green sweater and its about the most comforting thing he's ever felt.

"Tyler, please _don't_ be afraid of what your soul is really thinking." she holds his face up to meet hers, dark brown inky eyes staring into mossy green ones. 

"I won't." he mutters, carefully and cautiously putting his weight against her and she doesn't cave. She stays in her earlier position and holds him.

It was a role reversal neither of the two kids were expecting, Anna as the older figure and him as the one that needed help. It didn't change anything, any of their opinions of each other, but it did change their power against each other for that fragment of time. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

 Tyler looks at his lap "I...I don't know." 

"You don't have to." she says softly and Tyler shrugs 

"I-I met him in high school. He was always really sweet." Tyler says, his voice hoarse. 

"That's nice." 

"We dated for about six years or so, and I...I got a job in the city and he...he could'nt come." 

Anna holds him tighter, holds him close. 

"Fuck, we...we couldn't even make it work!" He sobs, "I left him back home and he loved me and I left him!" 

Anna's lip quivers, blinking quickly and making sure Tyler doesn't start shaking because he has in the past and it always scares the shit out of her. 

"about a month after I left he stopped returning my calls and I...I finally got one but it wasn't him." Tyler sniffs "It was the hospital. I was his only emergency contact and they just told me he....he was dead." 

Tyler turns to put his face back in Anna's chest and he cries and cries and cries until Anna tunes out the saddening noise and all that's left is the waves of vibration coming from his shaking body and the wet feeling of tears on her cheek. 

The rain outside continues, Anna turning to the window just as a flash of light and a sickening crack fills the room. 

She screams, curling in on Tyler and shaking so violently it snaps Tyler out of his melancholy state and he looks up to see her covering her ears and clenching her eyes shut. 

"fuck, Anna, it's o-ok-" 

"-I...I-I know." she stutters, looking him in the eyes as he grabs her wrists and holds them so she looks at him. 

"do you know?" He inquires and she nods vigorously, hands curling around his. 

"Yes." 

After about ten minutes of just sitting on the couch like that, Anna gets up and walks to the kitchen for a glass of water. Tyler sees her phone on the coffee table and grabs it, unlocking the easy code and going to her messages. 

There's only three conversations. One with him, one with Andrew and one with Gabby. 

They're all from weeks ago. 

She hasn't been talking to anyone in weeks. 

he puts it back and sighs, leaning against the couch and Anna comes back, curling up in the armchair across from him. 

 His eyes flicker over her frame, the way her sweater drapes over her body and how her legs stay tucked under her knees. Her head rested against the back of the chair and it makes her look so small, and so young. Her eyes go from open to closed slowly, and she looks so absolutely cute while she's half asleep.

she lazily pushes chestnut brown locks out of her eyes and emerald green eyes travel to meet his, her gaze lowered and curious. 

"what?" 

"You're so beautiful." 

She rolls her eyes, curling in on herself more and looking anywhere but Tyler's eyes now. "See, only you could see the beauty in something broken." 

Tyler tilts his head and looks at her "what the fuck, Anna?" 

"what?" She spits, posture tightening and Tyler watches her jaw clench. 

"Do you even know how hard I've tried to fucking fix you?" he asks incredulously. Anna's mouth opens and she stares at him with hard disbelief. 

"You...You did  _not_ just say that." she gasps, eyes watering and Tyler watches her blink the unshed tears away. 

"I love you, but you drive me  _so_ far." Tyler sighs, covering the side of his face with his palm. 

"y-you don't mean that," Anna looks at him in a begging way, eyes wide and hopeful. "I've gotten so much better."

"doesn't seem like it." Tyler mumbles. He's surprised the words left his mouth. He almost feels bad for saying that. 

But the thing is he doesn't take it back.

He doesn't even try. 

“Nobody’s gonna love you if you can’t display a way to capture this.” He says pointedly, making her roll her eyes.” 

"Well you know what? This is better! A whole lot fucking better!" Anna jumps to her feet and stands tall. ""I can just, be depressed again. I can turn a fucking switch just watch me Tyler I dare you!" she hollers. 

"C-calm down." Tyler watches as her chest starts to heave and she looks around the room quickly. 

"No! I'm not going to fucking calm down you dick! God, you make it look so...so...easy!" she yells

"What?" Tyler stands as well, eyeing her up and she's  _so_ much smaller at this angle. 

"You make it look so simple!" 

"I..." 

"you keep everything so bottled up so you don't have to look weak and, and you are just so fucking desensitized!" 

"Oh look who's using her big girl words..." Tyler rolls his eyes and she steps back, giving him the nastiest glare he's ever seen her wear. 

"You're being like Will." she says cooly and calmly, trying to warn him to stop.

Tyler bites the inside of his cheek "Yeah well maybe he wasn't the worst." 

That was the _w_ _rong_ thing to say. Tyler doesn't even know why he said that in the first place. 

"You...I can't believe you." her body shivers all the way up to her neck and Tyler watches her head twitch to the right. 

"Can't believe what?" 

 "You think you're so much better then me, don't you? The big 22 year old with the job and the house and the boyfriend that fucking  _killed himself_ because of your greed." she snarls and Tyler has to take a second to wipe his face before stepping forward and grabbing her wrist. 

"You know what? I only kept my shift with you so that I could repay my consciuous for what I did to Josh. My help was nothing but  _pity._ It was never  _love_ or whatever you're naive little mind thought it was." 

Anna's eyes flicker down to her wrist "D-don't touch me." 

"Oh that bit again? I'm tired of this Anna." he takes a step back and drags her along, bumping into a table. 

"I said,  _don't touch me!_ " she screams, slapping him across the face and in that moment she ducks and runs to the opposite end of the room. 

"You little...fucking, brat!" Tyler slurs "You ungrateful little bitch!" 

"who the fuck even are you?" Anna seethes "Are you fucking shitting me right now? Are you fucking drunk?" She leans over and looks in the kitchen sink. 

"w-what? I'm not fucking drunk you little slut!" he stumbles towards her and Anna's eyes widen, scrambling away and back to the couch. 

"Tyler, cut it out!" she bawls, and Tyler just tilts his head in a confused way. 

Oh, now he knows why he's saying such horrible things. 

He's hammered out of his fucking mind. 

"don't make me play cat and mouse with you Anna I'm so much faster." he coos and she gets out her phone. 

"I can't help thinking that I love you still." she murmurs, dialing a number and keeping her distance from a teetering Tyler. 

"h-hello?" 

"Gabe?" 

"It's...Anna." she says quietly, keeping her side eye on Tyler who's glaring at her dangerously. 

"Oh my gosh hi! How is everything I haven't heard from you since your birthday!" he gushes and Anna swallows, keeping away from Tyler. 

"Uhm, g-good. Actually, no. It's not. It's terrible. Tyler's drunk and he's being horrific and I don't feel safe and I'm abut to pass out and I'm scared of what he'll do." she rushes out her words and Gabe stays quiet. 

"Give him the phone." he says and Anna throws it on the couch, turning it on speaker first. 

"Tyler!" Gabe shouts and Tyler looks at the device, looking mildly irritated. 

"fuck off pipsqueak." he mutters, grabbing the phone and turning it off before looking at Anna. 

"No one'll help you." he sneers, walking closer and when Anna tries to dart away again, he grabs her arm and yanks her back, almost knocking her off her feet. 

"T-Tyler. C'mon. I get it just please stop." she pleads, trying to be reasonable but Tyler's eyebrows furrow and she gulps. 

"You remember when we talked about you paying me back?" Tyler asks in a low voice, his mouth over Anna's ear and she full on screams. 

"Fuck! No! Don't touch- get off of me!" 

Tyler ignores her. "You said you'd do...anything?" 

Anna starts crying hysterically, a hand being put over her mouth and Tyler pushing her onto the couch. 

"Tyler! Stop! It hurts! Please stop!" She screams under his hand, trigger words that would normally warn a level headed person that this isn't ok. 

But Tyler isn't level headed. 

He doesn't know this isn't ok. 

"I don't have no time for conversation." he whispers and Anna's heart is beating so fast she's so sure it'll be a few seconds until she faints under his hold. 

Tyler grabs her shirt and pulls it off

Anna's eyes roll back and she's done. 

She's out. 

And then she's being shaken. 

And her eyes are open again. 

"Anna!" Tyler yells in her face and her eyes fly open, seeing Tyler hovering over her with worried deep brown eyes and she screams. "Anna what the- are you ok? What's wrong was it a drea-"

Anna pushes him, making Tyler falls back, giving her just enough time to jump out of the armchair and run out the door. 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me.  
> I could do so much more with this kind of ending.  
> I have a totally different one planned but idk.  
> 


	28. Tuesday (cont.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello fuckers! :)

 

_Don't forget me don't forget me_

_I wouldn't leave you if you let me._

 

_Mmm and when you met me when you met me_

_You said that you were gonna get me._

Anna runs out of the apartment complex, down the street and into the road, looking to the left and seeing a bus stop. This is what she needs. It's her ticket out. She wants out. She needs out. 

 Tyler sprints out the door, stumbling down the stairs and almost hitting the concrete on his way down. 

Anna. 

Anna. 

He has to find Anna. There's a random memory inching into his mind, chasing someone. He can't remember who but he remembers that it felt like this. He turns a corner, assuming she'd go for a bus stop or someone with public transportation because they both know she's never been the best at running, even if her leg is healed. There's an instant feeling of relief the second he sees her, not too far ahead, sitting under the bench of the bus stop. 

"Anna!" he yells, running up and crouching beside her. She's not moving. 

"Fucking shit." Tyler mutters, pickup her up and carrying her to the entrance of the apartment complex. 

he holds her tightly, keeping her arms folded in and her head against his chest.

He almost lost her. 

Lost the one thing in his life that hasn't given up yet. The spark of hope and happiness that keeps him going and it could've been gone if the damn city buses actually ran on time. 

Thank god for shitty bus drivers. 

She smells like pine and carrageenan, the new body wash she bought. She's so much heavier then the first time he's carried her somewhere, and more so just standing still in the elevator. It's a silent ride, and Tyler thinks this might be the first time music's never played. 

It's darker in the house then when he ran out. The lights seem dimmer, the sky outside much darker and his eyes grow heavy. It's late. No wonder she fell asleep. Anna and sleep have a funny past. She's a chronic insomniac, yet she'll pass out by eight thirty some nights. Where as he'll wake up at three to an empty bed and find her in the living room writing in a journal and eating Triscuits. Tyler will be across the couch and see her legs folded into her chest, her lips parted so slightly cause that's the only way she can breathe when her nose is stuffed and the way he fingers twitch while she sleeps, the bitten nails at the tips noticeable and disappointing. Chipping white polish and penciled in eyebrows matching darker hair for colder weather. He notices all the little things but in the scheme of things they aren't the most important. 

The most important, in his opinion, is how she smiles with her teeth while listening to a special song, her eyes crinkling as she does so and how her hazel eyes change colors seemingly like a mood ring. The most important is when she sees a stretch mark from healthy growth and pouts about it all afternoon. The most important is the way she says his name; either happy, frustrated, or curious. In his opinion, everything about her is just so fantastically  _perfect_ and he would never see it any other way.

He sways as he carries her to his bed, the soft cotton sheets as inviting as they are soft and worn perfectly. 

He sets her down and sits in the chair across from the bed, looking her in her darkened eyes because all this time she's been conscious. 

All this time. 

She's sees everything, and he knows it too. He knows she sees the pain and the past and all the secrets of the world. It's there when they talk and even when the conversation has dulled and they're just sitting there looking at each other as they are now. Tyler wishes that he could see it too, know the secrets, understand the meaning of this life and how she could've forgotten that so long as to try and end hers. He tries but whenever he looks in her eyes he just sees the sky. Tyler knows it's what Anna wants him too see, the sky is so big and there are so many things in it that they could both easily get lost without each other.

But they don't.

Her hands are folded in her lap and she's staring at him. Her eyes are dry. She's absorbing the surroundings and calming herself down. All on her own. 

She's learning to do these things on her own. 

"There was a time in my life," she starts speaking and Tyler's eyes widen, him flinching for a fraction of a second at the sudden shock of it. When she gets to the forth word she stops and looks at her wrist, sighing and tapping it twice with her finger. She then points to herself and makes her hands into finger guns and shoots them towards each other. 

"When my friends weren't always there." she twirls her pointer in a C shape and makes other movements such as making two fingers "hug" and it ends with her holding her palm out. 

She's signing. 

Tyler tilts his head and looks at her hands. 

"It's a tick." she says nervously, looking at him intently "I sign because I used to do it when I had my tonsils out and during panic attacks I would sign because I lost my voice. It's not very good, and not always accurate but it keeps my brain distracted." she says it monotone, as if it's a routine explanation and she pauses before continuing. 

"It was just me myself and I and it stayed that way for a very long time. I was incorrigible, I was depressed, I was troubled. No one wanted me and that's all I could believe for a very long time." 

"So the second time Grant came around, it was very difficult. It was a decision I had to make for myself. I knew no one can change that much. Because I knew him, and he knew me, and the specifics can change but the core of a person remains the same. And it’s that that has brought him back to me." 

Tyler scoots forward when she wipes her face and sits back against the headboard, eyes trained on something invisible hiding on the ceiling. 

"I was mad, and went the wrong way. I took falsehood for truth and ugliness for beauty.” 

Tyler nods understandingly, not really knowing what to say in this moment because she's speaking so strong yet so soft and he has nothing to do but be proud in this moment. 

"I could pretend this never happened?" She says it as if it's a question, still looking at the ghost on the darkened roof of the room and sighing. "But I you can’t. I can't think for a second that he’ll let me do that, that you'll let me do that." 

I swallow. 

  
“I made a mistake,” she says, lying to herself. Whether it be a mistake with me or a mistake with him she was wrong. She never did anything except fall for love in the wrong places.

There is no mistake in love; its a human condition no one can escape it. 

Love is something you can't be blamed for if it goes wrong because if it went wrong then it was never meant to be. 

"Anna, it all works out in the end. If it's not working out, then it's not the end." Tyler says softly and she smiles. 

"I....I guess." she agrees and looks down towards him. 

"I don't know why, but I guess that you acting this way could have something to do with me...?" 

"You bring out the worst in me, you know that?” she laughs, running a hand through her tangled hair and frowning when it gets knotted. 

"It's not hard to do." Is Tyler's argument, leaning back in his chair and just thanking the lord that this is turning into a normal conversation. 

“You bring out the worst in me too,” He says quietly. Also the best, he thinks, but he'd never tell her that.

"Yeah, that’s the most beautiful part,” she laughs, sounding sad, and it pierces right through Tyler. She might be wiping his cheeks. He can’t tell for sure, but he wouldn’t be here if it was insignificant to her. Tyler just had to know.

“Fuck...” she says so quietly Tyler can barely hear it.

 "There's...nothing to worry about?" Tyler asks, not really knowing whether it's something she wants to hear or needs to hear at this point. He doesn't know if she needs to be coddled anymore. Does she? Or is it the time for tough love? Does he do it all for her or leave it all to her for a little. 

"You're a funny guy Ty." she says lightly, scooting under the sheets of the bed and Tyler watches her eyes flutter and grow heavy. 

"You're stronger than you think." Tyler sighs, getting up and walking to the bed where Anna rolls her eyes. 

"Mhmm." 

"I'm serious." he awkwardly touches her forehead in an attempt at affection and she gives him a weird look. 

"what are you doing?" 

"I don't know...trying to love you?" he chuckles, poking her nose and she laughs, sitting up and quickly wrapping her arms around his neck and pulls him down, her face buried in his shoulder and breathing in his scent. 

Tyler's nose is stuffed deep into her messy her brown hair. It smells like cinnamon and how autumn looks. He can sense orange, dark shades of red, vibrant yellow and a little bit of brown. When Tyler thinks of Anna, he thinks of crunching leaves and bonfires at midnight and groups of kids smelling like smoke and burnt sugar from s'mores. 

"you don't need to try." She mumbles, arms tightening and Tyler laughs, leaning into the touch and Anna sniffs slightly out of some kind of sadness and Tyler closes his eyes. 

"Just... get some sleep, ok?" he says and she nods, releasing him and getting under the covers. 

"Can you wake me up later?" she asks, eyes wide and scared and Tyler cocks his head. 

"why?" 

"I....I want to wake up." she whispers and Tyler smiles sadly. 

"Of course. Of course I'll wake you up it's fine don't worry." 

She smiles and closes her eyes before feebly waving goodbye and Tyler smiles, walking out and leaving the door

open. 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but I need to update SOMETHING


	29. Wednesday

"I just want you to...give me some space yeah? Is it really that hard? Is it? No, then just back off and leave me be before I lose my mind."

Tyler's hears the hurried voice after he gets back from a late night at the hospital, walking in at around 11 in the morning. His head tilts to the right, listening to Anna on the phone in his room and he sighs and walks to the door and knocks softly. 

"Fuck. I have to...I have to go," She mumbles, thumps and other noises resounding through the walls "Don't call me again." 

Tyler's taken aback as the door swings open and Anna smiles, wavy dark brown hair falling in her face. "hi." she says, almost out of breath and Tyler smiles. 

"hi." 

 Tyler looks into the room and sees it clean, organized, just how it was before and smiles in satisfaction. Anna looks over her shoulder to where his eyes are focused.  She turns back to him and tries to stand on her tip toes to be the same height, smiling guiltily and pushing him away from the doorway. 

"how was wor-"

"-who were you talking to?" Tyler cuts her off, making intense eye contact and she shrugs. 

"no one important." she mutters, looking away. 

Tyler knows this game.

"are you sure about that?" he asks, tone questioningly and dominate.

"yes." she says firmly and steps in front of him, walking into the kitchen. The older boy rolls his eyes and looks at his shoes.

"Anna, you know you don't have to keep secrets, right?" Tyler follows her, sitting at the island while she pours herself a cup of cranberry juice. 

"Yes. I also know that I don't have to tell you everything." she takes a sip and stares him down. 

"fair enough." he sighs and gets up from the stool, walking to the couch and sitting down. 

"I'm sorry." she mumbles, following him to the living room almost obediently. 

"You don't have to apologize," he says reassuring but she shakes her head. 

"yes I do. I've been a complete bitch and kept things from you after everything you've done for me and I haven't even said a thank you, I haven't even-" 

"-Stop." He stops for a minute and sighs, looking at his hands. "You have been grateful first of all, and you haven't been a bitch on purpose, I don't take it personally hun." 

He watches as her cheeks tinge pink at the pet name, and it pleases him to see the effect he still has on her when he thought it was beginning to fade. 

"Are you sure?' She asks nervously, creeping over to the couch. 

"Positive." 

She smiles tightly, forced, and sits next to him. Her hairs a day old, soft and worn and not too frizzy. She's wearing an old t shirt and baggy sweatpants, face clean and clear. 

Tyler cocks his head and smiles endearingly. This is what she really looks like. What she looked like before everything happened, without bruises, without torn clothes and muddy scrapes. Without casts and hospital gowns. 

It's who she really is. 

And who she really is is so, so beautiful. 

She's like April, fresh green mossy eyes that are so bright and promising, surrounded by freckles making her appearance so youthful and unique. She's so unique, the best rock in the pile and he doesn't think it'll ever dull. Sure, it has a few scratches, but like a geode you have to get through the touch outer shell to get to the crystals inside.

"how was work?" she repeats again and Tyler shrugs, picking at his nail. 

"Fine I guess...same patients, nothing new or as shocking as your case." he says casually and she makes a noise or acknowledgement. 

"I missed you, it was really windy last night." she says quietly after a minute and Tyler can't help but feel his heart ache a little bit. 

"did you put on the noise machine?" 

she looks at the floor for a minute, "no." 

"that would've helped hun." Tyler sighs.

"I know." 

"hey, I'm sorry I've been gone for so long lately. It's been busier for the nurses because of...um...loss of staff and our hours are longer." 

Loss of staff. 

What he means is one of the main nurses got fired. 

But he doesn't want her to know that. 

She'll blame herself. 

"it's ok I know it's not your fault." she says dismissively and Tyler knows that she knows why he's home so late, they just aren't going to bring it up.

"how about we do something fun tonight, since I'm off tomorrow morning?" he asks and she looks up quickly. 

"like what?" her tone is hopeful, like she might actually be able to do something outside of this cramped apartment alone. All she's done for the past few months was watch tv, cook more then they could eat, and play video games. 

"Well I mean I got paid the other day..." he says teasingly, watching her go from curious to almost mad. 

"No. No you are not spending more money on me." she says firmly, shaking her head. 

"but I want to." he whines, scooting closer and she pushes him away. 

"No, nope Tyler no." she argues, folding her arms over her chest and sticking her chin up importantly. 

"c'mon hun just let me? Just tonight?" he begs and she looks down, rolling her eyes at his futile attempt at puppy dog eyes, 

"Tyler...." she groans, stretching out on the sofa and squeezing her eyes shut "I'm ruining your bank account." 

"trust me, I have enough. I'm a nurse Anna, not a broke college student." he argues and she laughs slightly. 

"I don't know..." 

"c'mon, let me take you out to dinner, somewhere nice." he suggests and she laughs, rolling her eyes and sitting back more comfortably, 

Tyler blinks. 

"You're... you're not...serious right?" she looks at him with confusion and he smiles apologetically. 

"dead serious." 

"B-but..." she looks around as if she'll find an excuse somewhere. "I...we can't...I'm all  _this_ and you're  _that_ and people will see us and-" 

"- _What_ are you getting so twisted about hun? It's just dinner." Tyler laughs softly and Anna shakes her head. 

"You said a  _nice_ dinner at a  _nice_ place." she corrects him and he rolls his eyes. 

"what are you so afraid of?" 

"I...I don't even know." she admits, looking down and frowning. 

"Then there's nothing to be afraid of, it'll be just find. Just you and me." 

She bites the inside of her cheek, looking at him nervously "I don't know...I mean, I don't even have anything to wear I look terrible-" 

"-First of all," Tyler says again, "You never look terrible. And second of all, I distinctly remember you putting something that looked like a dress into your bag when we left your house." he says a matter of factly and Anna scowls. 

"I did not." 

"You did too." 

"shut up." she huffs, looking at the door with a frown and Tyler smirks. 

"I'm got paged about five minutes ago to go back to the hospital at about 2 until 5. When I get back you'd better be ready to go." he winks and she fights a smile. 

"I swear-" 

"-what? what do you swear?" he asks in a teasing tone and she gets up and stalks away. 

"do  _you_ even have anything to wear?" she shouts and Tyler smiles to himself. 

"yep!" 

 

He grabs his coat on the way out, chilly fall air biting the the exposed skin. It's supposed to snow tonight, Ohio has been expecting snow all week. 

It's a shorter ride to the hospital mid day, and he arrives right on time, greeted by Sarah a minute later. 

"Oh hi! Thank god you're here, c'mon someone was just rushed in...attempted overdose that didn't end well." Sarah says hurriedly, dragging Tyler to the west wing. 

After getting his stomach pumped, the worn looking teenager sits up in his bed wiping his face. He's got curly brown hair, light brown golden eyes, and is wearing a hospital gown, a flannel on the chair beside him.

"hey do you uh, wanna talk about it?" Tyler says without making eye contact, changing the water bag. 

"talk about what?" the boy snaps, eyeing Tyler up and he shrugs. 

"I don't know...why you're here? Why you were taking so many prescription drugs that  _obviously_ weren't yours." 

The boy rolls his eyes, scoffing then coughing roughly. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. 

"fuck man, I...I just don't want to be here." 

"I get it, the hospital suck but-" 

"-no. I mean, I don't want to be  _here,_ on Earth." he sighs, laying back and closing his eyes. 

Tyler stops what he's doing and stands up, sitting in the chair next to the boy. 

"hey, listen. I get it, I understand. Things can be rough, they can be really rough, and they're rough all over. You never know what could happen in the future, good or bad, so if you wanna find out, you should wait. Believe it or not I know alot of people that feel the same, myself included. But the only thing you can do is try, just keep trying because there  _are_ people that care about you, no matter how much you argue against it." 

The kid blinks, looking at Tyler strangely, and nods. "You really think so?" 

"I know so. If you aren't aware, look around. There's so many people tat love you, you just may not realize it." 

"T-thanks man." the kid sniffs, looking down at his hands and Tyler pats his leg. 

"listen, you got a phone?" 

the kid nods, looking at his bag and Tyler stands up and gets it, taking the small device out and giving it to him to unlock it. 

"Here, just...I'll put my contact in, Tyler, just text or call whenever you need me." 

"Thanks Tyler, Joshua." he says quietly and Tyler's head snaps up. 

"What?" 

"Joshua. I'm Joshua." the boy repeats and Tyler feels the heat leave his face. 

 "Oh...I...nice to meet you...J-Joshua." he chokes out, looking at the floor and his shoes while blinking fast. 

"Are you alright? The boy asks, looking at Tyler with confusion but Tyler waves him off and fake smiles.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'll see you soon...man." He gets up and leaves, waving slightly before shutting the door behind him, pressing his back against the wall and taking deep breathes. 

It's ok. 

You're ok. 

This is all ok. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is short but all the quarterlys are this week and I ain't fuckin with that shit


	30. Wednesday

"The fuck do I wear?" Anna groans while laying spread eagle on Tyler's bed, staring at the ceiling with a pissed off expression. 

She sighs, rolling over onto her stomach and picking up her phone. She wasn't allowed to text Tyler at work unless it was an emergency, and even if it really was she never did. 

Who she did text, however, was Gabby. But not anymore. 

Since her stay at Tyler's apartment Gabby had gotten extremely despondent. When Anna talked to her her tone was snappy and irritated, but only with Anna. 

It's like she had become some kind of a burden. 

When she tried to reason with the younger girl, she'd deny any kind of apology and use her bullshit excuses to defend herself. 

Anna tells her she's coming back sometime soon. 

Gabby says she doubts it. 

Anna says Tyler's taking good care of her. 

Gabby mutters a sarcastic response. 

Anna asks her how things are at home. 

Gabby says fine. 

In all honesty Anna was tired of trying, tired of arguing and trying to get a conversation and even a little bit of affection. It was a waste of time and getting upset about it was a lost cause in her opinion. She was starting to get depressed, feeling like she was alone and didn't have anyone to talk to. Her schoolwork was faltering, and Tyler didn't know. 

Tyler wouldn't know 

because she didn't plan on telling him. 

There was this thought she had lodged in her head that if she didn't get good grades and started failing online school, that Tyler would make her go back home and take normal school so that she would get a better head start to applying to collages. 

It's not that he would think she's stupid, he'd want her to live a better live so she'll have a successful career. 

But she doesn't want to live a better life. 

Her life is the best it's been and it's because he's there, with her, and they're together. 

She could care less about school, she just wants to be happy. 

Anna rolls over and dangles herself off the bed, grabbing one of Tyler's blue pullover sweatshirts from the floor. She lays on her stomach and buries her face in the fabric, inhaling slowly. It smells like him. Unsurprisingly, it smells like a mixture of boy and detergent, as well as a mixture of other things she'd have to be a dog to know and identify. She doesn't find it weird, how she enjoys the scent of his clothes. It's a common thing she convinces herself, and totally doesn't think it's a sign of falling in love. 

No, not at all. 

There's a moment of time that passes, about half an hour, and her eyes start to flutter open. 

Shit. 

She fell asleep. 

A quick glance at the analog clock on the bedside table alerts her that she  _had,_ in fact, fell asleep. 

And it was now 4:31. 

"fucking shit." she mutters, jumping up and looking around. Daylight savings time had pushed everyone ahead, the sky already starting to tint darker and darker. 

"shit shit shit." she jumps up, laughing softly, and runs to the bathroom. 

she's putting conditioner in her hair when he hears someone come in the room. 

"what are you doing in the shower still?" 

"kinda overslept." she says over the spray of water. 

"oh I see." Tyler rolls his eyes even though she can't see and goes into his room to change out of his scrubs. 

he puts on a pair of nice black jeans, he only pair he currently owns, and a white button up shirt with little patterns. 

Good enough, it's something he'd wear to church if he still went. 

"I'm getting out please find something to do!" Anna yells and Tyler rolls his eyes yet again and goes into the living room to watch some mindless television for however long it takes a girl to get ready for dinner. 

Tyler sits on the couch and opens his phone checking his schedule for the next couple of days. As he's setting an alarm for Friday morning a notification pops up as a text from an unknown number. 

Odd. 

_Unknown: Hey man, thanks for everything today it means alot._

Tyler stares at his phone for a minute, spacing out for a second before typing quickly. 

_Me: No problem at all. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask._

He sits back, looking at the wall and he lets out a heavy sigh

"half of my heart is in Havana oh nah nah nah..." he hears singing from the bedroom and then music playing softly. He smiles. 

"I knew it when I met him, I loved him when I left him...oh it's true." she adds "And then I had to tell him, I had to go oh nah nah nah..." she belts and Tyler mutes the TV. 

Some rapper starts singing and Anna dances around Tyler's room, only half dressed and eyes closed, swaying left and right, carried by the sound of over played yet catchy pop tunes. 

 "Come on Anna it's almost time to go!" He yells, snapping along to the sound and Anna shouts back an unintelligible response. 

 She spins to her duffel in the closet and gets out a flowy blue dress with darker blue lace covering the cleavage and all the way up to a high neck. 

 

(ok so I have a hard time describing this dress but it's what I wore to homecoming so I'll just put the URL here and ya'll can peep it's beauty.)

 https://www.google.com/search?q=free+people+marsha+print+dress&safe=active&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS760US760&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiusZG5qL7XAhWo34MKHXMXBQMQ_AUICygC&biw=1707&bih=827#imgrc=Vm5kfAfMEvsmJM: 

 She paired the dress with a pair of chunky black heels with a strap over the top of her foot. The fabric was almost velvet but not quite, and they're a taller pair then what she'd usually buy but they were for sale at a consignment store so it was kinda meant to be because she felt like a stripper in them. 

She put the top of her hair up in a twisted knot, hair trailing down to her shoulder blades with flyaways surrounding her face and put on some pink blush, lengthening mascara, and shaped her eyebrows carefully but still looking careless, putting just a light pink gloss on her lips. 

A natural look because she has no one to impress tonight. 

She doesn't feel the need to.

She takes a few steps forward, wobbling a little on the heels and laughing to herself, before walking to the door. 

"...Tyler?" she asks quietly, stepping into the hallway. 

"Yeah?" he calls back to her, standing up in concern because her voice was so soft and gentle. 

"Can you come, zip me up?" she squeaks, carefully stepping slowly into the lighter room. 

"yeah, of course." He walks over and she turns from looking at her reflection in a photograph hung on the wall. 

Tyler stops in his tracks, sucking in a breath and letting his eyes trail over her. She looks shy, posture hunched to look small and eyes big but avoiding contact. As if she'd be afraid of what she saw in him.  

Tyler shakes his head slowly and smiles, a big smile that Anna studies carefully. Her lips are tight, eyes concerned and her entire aura screaming anxious. 

"You look so..." he starts

"formal?" she pipes up, cringing and he shakes his head. 

"No..." 

"weird?" she winces and the older frowns. 

"definitely not. More like-" 

"bad-" 

"-beautiful." he interrupts, "stunning gorgeous, immaculate, absolutely breathtaking." 

She nods and looks down, not smiling and he gently grabs her hand in his, causing her to look up. 

"don't ever think you're anything but." he whispers, his other palm cupping her warm cheek and her lips struggle to make a smile. 

But she does. 

Because that pleases him. 

Smiling pleases Tyler. 

"you look...handsome." she mutters, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and he laughs softly. 

"why thank you." he smiles and zips the back of her dress, taking her hand and they head for the door. 

"do you have everything?" she asks, grabbing a black coat from behind the front door and Tyler nods, feeling for his wallet and keys. 

"alright." she opens the door for him and closes it behind her, walking slowly and wobbly. 

"brave choice." he chuckles, wrapping an arm around her waist for support and she laughs. 

"I like em, sue me." 

"I like em too." he assures her. 

"So where are we going?" she questions, pushing the button to the elevator and tilting her head. 

"Just a restaurant in the city." 

"crowded?" 

"I don't think so." 

"expensive?" 

"not telling." 

"tyler...." she whines, giving him an irritated look and he shrugs innocently. 

"you'll just have to see, it's all fine Anna I've got it." 

They walk to the car and she lets out a heavy sigh.

"You know how I feel about you paying for me." 

Tyler tenses but neither of them knowledge it. "Anna-" 

"I'm 18...just reminding you." 

"I didn't forget." he retorts, opening her car door and she squeezes his shoulder. 

"sure." 

The ride is quick, the usual two hour traffic of our stage set to none and they're there in less then 30 minutes. 

"Now I promise you, this'll be fun." he jokes, turning of the ignition and getting out, opening Anna's door before she had a chance to unbuckle her seat belt. 

"if you think so." she laughs, holding his hand as he helps her out and they face the tall building together. 

"I know so." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lil shorter then usual but I've been a busy bean I'm sorry  
> More chapters to come I have alot more inspo for this fic it's not close to being over


	31. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll don't care about the dinner part so I just skipped it hope you don't mind. :)

"That was really fun Ty." Anna hums, looking up at Tyler with hazel orbs lit up by the streetlights above them. 

 "I'm glad you thought so." he smiles, watching her as she sways with the cool air around them. 

It wasn't col, it was actually freezing, the winter starting to catch up with them and he noticed as excited she was, her nose was red and her arms were covered in goosebumps. 

"Oh, here." he rushed out, taking off his coat and handing it to her, Anna accepting it slowly. 

"You're going to be cold." she says in a small voice, looking at the clothing in her hand sadly. 

"I'm fine, really." Tyler insists, hands stuffed in his pocket and Anna watches him as she puts on the coat. 

The sun was down by now, the only light coming from the lamps positioned over the street. No moon hung in the sky tonight, just lonely fog encasing the city in its dark obscurity. 

"It's getting close to Christmas." she says casually, starting to walk up the sidewalk and Tyler follows after like a puppy. 

"Mhmm, what do you want to do?" 

"Well I thought we'd hang with your family? Or do you not do that?" 

"I mean, if I'm invited." he says sadly.

"Oh...well if not, we can always have a bomb Christmas here by ourselves." she glances up at him and smiles, white breaths ghosting out of her mouth when she breathes into the frigid air. 

"that sounds like fun." Tyler says, smiling genuinely and looking down at her hand that's swaying with her movements. 

He considers taking it, holding it in his own but it's her hand, not his. 

Should he ask? 

Is that lame? 

He sighs, ruffling his hair for probably the millionth time before just letting his own sway beside hers. 

In a moment she looks up at him again, an expression reading nothing less than incredulous, and holds his hand. 

"don't wimp out on me." she says to no one in particular, eyes trained at the storefronts ahead of them and hiding a grin. 

God. 

God he loves her so fucking much. 

It's not something he'd think possible to debate. 

The two of them walk in silence until the familiar feeling of light snow starts to fall, gentle solid white flakes pouring down on them and she starts to laugh. 

"Holy shit." her eyes light up, whipping up to face him and he watches as green eyes sparkle like the child she still is and how brown hair whips around her face. 

"Snow, yes I see it." he teases, reaching out to catch it. 

"It's snowing!" she gasps, over excited in the cutest fucking way and he can't help but grin at her unexpected reaction. 

"Haven't you seen this before?" he raises an eyebrow and she leans on him. 

"Of course idiot, it's just a wonderful surprise." 

Wonderful. 

Everything now is wonderful. 

The more they stand in place, awing at the snowflakes, the more it falls, and the thicker and heavier the flurries become. 

"I think we should get out of the snow before you catch a cold." Tyler says and she rolls her eyes, studying him. She's doing the thing she does where a moment pauses and she just analyses everything there is to know about him during a first glance. 

She notices the way he worry about her, and how it rebounds into her own concerns about him. 

She notices how his face and nose twitches when he's nervous, a little tic he's never mentioned or even had to bring up. 

She notices the way his shoulders droop and build back up again despite the mood he happens to be in. 

And she notices how much he loves her, yet she'd never comment on it. 

"I'll be fine." she mutters, still studying Tyler closely. He feels...under observation by her big green eyes, trapped under the gaze until she pulls them away and sets him free. 

"What're you thinking about?" Tyler asks, somewhere between cautious and curious.

"I think that maybe when people say they want to fall in love, they're really just looking for a place to fall apart." She says suddenly, looking away and dropping his hand. 

"What?" Tyler asks suddenly and she gives him an incredulous look, tilting her head the way she does like a little dog. 

"I said that when people say they want to fall in love, they just really want someone to fall apart to." she repeats.

Tyler opens his mouth to say something, then closes it only to open it once more. "That's....pessimistic." 

She smiles a little, giving him a quick glance before she reaches for his hand. 

"I'm getting a little cold." 

Tyler's glad she admits it, because first of all he wants her to confide in him, and tell him when things are wrong, or when things could be worked out. And secondly, he's fucking freezing so thank god she said something. 

"Wanna go home? Or is there anything you wanted to do?" He asks, knowing full well there's nothing in Columbus worth gawking over. 

"I don't know, we could just drive around, look at Christmas lights or something?" She looks up hopefully, to which Tyler can't help but smile at. 

"Yeah, that sounds good, of course." 

The walk back to the parking garage they had ended up parking in is quiet, the two of them simply studying the snow falling on top of them and the buildings surrounding them. 

She's shivering, a light dusting of white powder atop her head, little white flakes tangled in her hair, the light to dark contrast beautiful and almost highlighting every stray hair giving the most wonderful silhouette.

"Stop looking at me." she says almost apologetically, while blushing and tilting her face away from his and he blushes as well, looking in the other direction. 

"sorry." Tyler mutters, stealing another glance that she catches immediately, reaching up and pushing his face away. 

"Ugh, you're incorrigible." she groans, covering her face. 

"You've just got such a modest mouth." he teases.

"You're just..." she trails off, stopping in  her tracks and looking at his mouth. 

"I'm just what?" he eggs her on, challenging. Her eyes flicker up to his eyes in a challenging way. 

"You're so..." she whispers, standing taller to face him. 

"Mmm?" he tilts his head to the right, smirking and Anna makes a face of false annoyance. 

"I hate you." 

"i love you t-" Tyler starts to say but before he can finish he's cut off by Anna kissing him quickly and passionately. 

He's almost taken aback, stepping back so he doesn't fall over. Desperate force pushes him away but he wraps his arms around her waist and holds her close, steadying the two. 

"What was that for?" he asks, pushing hair out of her face. 

"does there have to be a reason?" She inquires, eyes teasing and he shrugs. 

"I suppose not." he smiles, pulling away and tugging her towards the car. 

"I'm still salty they wouldn't let me drink." she pouts. 

"Well you know the laws, they're supposed to abide by them." 

"Can we get drunk at yours?" she asks hopefully, bottom lip caught by her teeth. 

"Maybe." Tyler says stiffly. 

"Maybe?" 

"Maybe." 

"You're no fun." she chuckles, squeezing his hand and he rolls his eyes. 

“Hey, maybe could mean yes.” Tyler teases, squeezing it right back with a chuckle.

Its a cold drive back to the apartment. Anna leans against the window despite the chill and cranes her neck to look at the Christmas lights lining the buildings around them. If Tyler were to glance over, he’d see how the reflection of the golden baubles light up he darkened green eyes, making the orbs sparkle and light up with such childlilke amusement in such small things. 

He’d reach over and touch her cheek, make sure she’s real because someone so perfect could only exist in a made up world. 

But he doesn’t. He sits and drives. 

And drinks her in. 

Treasures the company that comes along with having her in his life because he can’t think about anything more 

wonderful.

“Ahhhhh so warmmmm.” Anna sighs, untangling the scarf from around her neck when she walks in the door. Tyler follows in behind her, peeling off his coat and hanging it up, catching hers as she throws it towards him. 

“Mhmm.” He hums, shutting and locking the door behind them, turning to face the open room and Anna almost launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck the way she does and burying her face in his neck. 

“Whatcha wanna do now...?” She murmurs, leaning back to look him in the eyes and he pats her head. 

“We’re gonna calm down...” he laughs. Unlatching her from around him and putting her down. 

“What’s the fun in that?” 

“Theres fun in quiet.” He argues and she pouts.

”Cmon, we’re back home let’s do something.” She begs, looking up with irresistible green eyes and Tyler melts. 

It’s Christmas after all. She can have some fun. She deserves it. 

“Alright fine.” Tyler teases, going to the kitchen and grabbing some beers and throwing one to her.

“Tyler!” She yells, catching it and staring at him in disbelief. 

“What?” 

“You just threw a bottle at me!” She gasps, laughing slightly. 

“And you caught it!” He gasps back, pretending to be shocked.

She rolls her eyes, acting unamused. ”You’re lucky I did.”

”I suppose I am.” 

“Mhmm.” She gives him a stern look and Tyler smiles shyly blushing slightly and avoiding her eyes. 

“Drink up buttercup.” 

“Trying to get me drunk?” She raises a suspicious eyebrow at him.

”Would never dream of it.” He chuckles. 

“I’m a lightweight though I’m warning you. Not particularly the heartiest person.” She laughs, cracking open the beer and chugging it. 

“Woah woah woah it’s a marathon not a sprint!” Tyler exclaims, reaching for the bottle but she waves him off. 

“I’m looking to be,” She wipes her face “exceptionally tipsy by the end of the night.” 

“Oh I’m sure you are, but I’m not dealing with it. Not healthy hun.” 

“It’s fine....” she drags out, blinking slow with big glassy puppy eyes. 

“It’s really not.” 

“Is too.” She lowers her eyes at him and to be honest Tyler can’t tell if she’s being serious or not.” 

 “You can drink all you want sweet thing but I ain’t having more then two.” Tyler shakes his head at her and she rolls her eyes. 

“Fine old man.” She says in a snippy manner but Tyler knows in his heart she’s secretly relieved that he isn’t going to get drunk. 

She wouldn’t feel safe, and he knows that. 

Simple as that. 

Only two ginger beers later she’s exceedingly tipsy, eyes large and glassy. 

“Tyler I loooooooove youuuuu.” She coos,  hands all over his face and Tyler laughs from where he’s pinned down on the couch. 

“Love you tooooo.” He teases, holding her hips so she doesn’t fall. 

“I love you sooooo fuckin much dude.” She says quietly, the eye contact intense and full of passion. 

“I love you too doll.” He hums, feeling up her ribs and smiling at her happy hums. 

“Can we...” she trails off, eyes looking somewhere else. 

“What?” 

“What?” She mimics, looking visibly lost.

”Oh god youre completely hammered.”  He laughs, almost in disbelief. 

“I wanna feel youuuu.” She mumbles, rolling over so they’re laying side by side on the couch, fancy clothes swapped for their sweats. 

“You are.” Tyler chuckles, pushing hair out of her face and she scowls. 

“I wanna feel _you_ inside _me.”_

Tyler stops, jumping up and leaving her on the couch where she sits up and frowns.

”Tyle-“

”-nope.” He says quickly. “Nope Nope nope.” 

“B-but-“ 

“-No way honey you’re out of your mind.” He laughs dryly, picking her up easily and  carrying her to their room. 

“Tylerrrr!” She whines, punching his back and he shakes his head. 

“But I’ve been so _good!”_ She argues, hanging limp over his shoulder and Tyler rolls his eyes. 

“You’ve also been very naughty.” He jokes, tossing her gently onto the bed and she flips him off, burying herself in the covers. 

“Wanna sleep?” He asks, lifting the covers to see her bottom lip jutting out, and puppy eyes. 

“Noooooo.” She says, mid yawn and Tyler smirks. 

“We’re gonna go to sleep now honey.” He coos, fixing the sheets and Anna sighs loudly and very over dramatically, flopping back and closing her eyes. 

“Fineeee.”

Sometime in the night, Tyler wakes up. 

Its not like he had a nightmare, or was feeling ill. He just woke up. There was an apparent lack of heat, which could’ve been due to the girl beside him or the winter air creeping in through brick walls.

He rolls over in bed, barely able to see through the dim black darkness and he lays on his stomach, turning his head and seeing her upright with a phone in hand. 

“Why are you awake?” He groans gently, rubbing tired eyes and glancing at the clock reading 2:08.

”I...I um...” she says, voice quiet and rough. Her eyes are tired, almost bloodshot and begging for sleep but the way her teeth and body roll in waves of shivers makes him think she is having a hard time tonight. 

Not just falling asleep. Having a hard time altogether. 

“C’mon, just...put it down and shut your eyes ok doll?” He pats her leg and she sighs, plugging the phone into a charger nearby and laying down next to him, body stiff and cold. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, hugging the sheets up to her chest and screwing her eyes shut.

”you dont have to be.” 

“I wanted to fall asleep with you but it was too late and then I got scared and-“

”-hey hey hey...calm down Anna it’s ok.” Tyler soothes, gently touching her cheek through the darkness and feeling the skin magically heat up under the surface.

”...ok.” 

“I love you.” He whispers, searching through black to see the expression on her face that always seems to find it’s way when he says those words. 

“I love you too.” She replies, and even though he can’t see her nearly at all he knows that she is making the face that lets him know she feels the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Friday

Her eyes get glassy, when somethings wrong. 

They get big and watery and look like snow globes full of swirling color. 

Big green ponds, over flooded by a rain shower. 

The bathroom faucet was running far too long, and his patience with her was growing slim. 

Hanging by a thread. 

Tyler gets up from where he was on his computer and walks over to the door and knocking gently.

"Come on out, you've been in there for ages." He says softly, knocking again and there was no reply. There was absolutely no sound except for the smooth rush of water. 

Tyler expects the worst. Tyler expects a horrific sight that haunt his dreams and cause him extreme anxiety but he really doesn't want to open the door. He doesn’t, not at all but he has to take the chance that something might really be wrong.

He blinks, swallowing and starts to pound on the door. 

"Anna? Anna!" he shouts, twisting the knob until finally giving up, running hands through his hair in a fit of panic and he turns to fine something to break the lock, something heavy, something- he grabs a large book off the shelf in the hallway. Turns out that works, because when he lifts it high and slams it down, the force and weight knocks the cheap metal right off and he can push open the door easily. 

She stands hunched over inside the small room, his sweatshirt pooling to her knees and staring into the mirror, hands on the counter top holding tightly, he can see it in her veins. 

"Anna?" Tyler cocks his head and slowly moves forward, looking at her carefully. She glances over her shoulder, standing straight up and turns so she's facing him. 

He sees her eyes. 

Her eyes get glassy when somethings wrong. 

They get big and watery and look like snow globes full of swirling color. 

And this is how they looked now. 

"Anna are you alright?" Tyler asks, holding onto the frame of the door and she looks at his hands, studying them for a second before swaying slightly and-

She takes a step forward as her eyes roll back as she crumples to the floor. 

 

It doesn't happen in slow motion, there isn't a second when Tyler can stop it, she simply takes one step forward and falls, her legs completely giving out and she hits the tile with a thud, her face smacking the edge of the vanity. 

"Ohmygod." Tyler whispers, dropping to his knees and lifting her face, redirecting her body.

He can feel her skin, she's practically burning alive. It's too warm, too warm for a normal sick person and too warm for someone who's just finished a 5k.

As he lifting the back of her neck a red line seeps out from under her nose. 

Fuck. 

"Oh no, oh no this isn't good." He mumbles, picking her up as best he can while his body's shaking and carries her into his bedroom where he props her up with pillows and makes sure she's on her back. 

"What did you do?" He asks, more to Anna then anyone and he almost expects a response. 

He opens the windows and moves the blinds so it's light out, a sunny Friday sky beaming in and chilly Columbus air starting to waft through the crack as well. 

In an instant Tyler tries to remember what he took home from the hospital. A flu shot she was scheduled for soon, an IV bag with the correct fluids for hydration, gauze and new bandages for wounds well healed, and a stack of her stats. 

That's it. 

Most likely the IV would help out of those options, so he goes along with setting it up and cleaning her arm for prep, wiping under her nose as well while he still has a cold damp cloth. It drags away, a smear of red staining the top layer of her skin and Tyler definitely  _doesn't_ gag at the sight of dried blood on his hands.

He slowly inserts the needle, Anna not even twitching an eyelid and the IV starts draining in fluids. 

She could be three things. Malnourished, dehydrated, or extremely overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. 

Or all three. 

When someone faints it's because they lose airflow to the brain, so what had caused this? 

He was feeding her, he was taking care of her. 

He thought he was doing a good job. 

Apparently not, he sighs, taping down the needle into her arm and he covers her in a blanket, sitting next to the bed in a state of defeat. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. I really don’t.” He chuckles softly. It wasn’t completely unmanageable, her. She was difficult, that was true. But as nervous as he gets, Tyler is still trained for this, still prepared. He can still take care of her. 

And he will. 

 

About three hours later when Tyler’s having an early dinner of leftover Chinese takeout there’s a noise from his room. He stops eating and pauses the tv to hear a string of pained noises and helpless whines. 

He jumps up, borderline running to his room but not quite, playing it cool. 

“Tyler!” A strangled voice yelps and this time he does run, making it to the room and opening the door to see her fully awake and crying-no, bawling while pulling at the IV. 

“Shhhh shhh shhh, it’s ok Anna it’s just fine.” He coos, rushing to her side and grabbing her other arm, pinning it beside her and she struggles, trying to pull it away with a chorus of loud dragged out whines. 

She starts to cry again. 

Tyler hates it when she cries.

he hates it more than anything. 

When she cries, she whimpers like a wounded dog with every rushed inhale her throat consumes. It’s high pitched and heart wrenching because you know she’s in real pain. Just high whiny inhales that truly sound like an animal is being murdered and they’re just so frantic and and rushed that it’s almost unbearable to listen to. 

“You can’t pull at that ok? You need it.” 

“I d-don’t like it.” She argues, staring up at him with large bloodshot eyes and it tears at his heart, dragging sense out of his head. 

“Anna you can’t take it out.” He says calmly and she starts to cry again. 

“No no don’t do that.” He says, overwhelmed and scared that she’ll pass out again. 

“Why is this here? W-Why can’t I b-be with you?” She hiccups, completely hysterical and Tyler sits down, still holding her arm. 

“You fainted in the bathroom, do you remember that? Do you know why?” 

Her eyes follow something behind him before flickering back up to his, wide and terrified. 

“I-I was dizzy, that’s a-all I think.” She chokes out, chest heaving and Tyler just looks at her with a broken expression.

“Hey hey calm down...it’s ok sweetheart you’re completely fine. I’m right here you aren’t alone.” 

“I....” She looks at his hand that’s around her wrist for a second and like someone flipped a switch, she goes completely still, stiff and straight. 

“Shit, I’m sorry Anna I didn’t mean to-“ he loosens his grip, fingerprints fading into her skin and he remembers. 

“Anna-“

“-IM FINE!” She hollers, causing Tyler to flinch. 

“Ok ok!” He spits, hurriedly letting go and she sobs, reaching out for Tyler. 

“What do you want?” He asks breathlessly 

“You. Just, please.” She weeps, looking heartbroken and Tyler feels something break inside of him. 

“Ok. I’m here I’m right here Anna I’m never going anywhere.”

“But you will.” She whispers. “They always leave.” 

“I’m not them.” Tyler says quietly, but strong and to the point.

He isn’t. 

He isnt “then” 

He’ll never be. 

“I know. I just can’t help but think you’ll just...” she sniffs, and Tyler wraps his arms around her just as she breaks down in a fresh set of tears. 

“It’ll be ok sweet thing.” Tyler hums, hand in her hair as she crawls into the indents of his body, completely wrapping herself in and around him with no room to spare. 

“I’m so sick of b-being people’s second choices.” She sobs, body shaking and face buried in his shirt. 

“You aren’t my second choice. You’re my number one forever and ever baby.” He chuckles softly, petting her hair and shushing her tears. 

“I love you so much Tyler.”

”I love you too doll.” 

They stay like that for a little bit, until she slowly pulls away and sits back to stare at him like she always does. 

It’s like she takes so much time to remember him in case she’ll start to forget in the time that they aren’t together. 

Like if she doesn’t keep an eye on him he’ll just disappear. 

And he feels the same way too. 

“Can you please just take this out?” She mumbles, voice rough and tired. Tyler assumes she’s talking about the IV as they had previously discussed. 

“Anna I don’t know why you fainted so I’m trying to keep you stable right now.” 

She looks at him with a good amount of anger before mumbling an “I’m fine.” 

“Anna no one just faints for no reason.” 

“I mean I haven’t been drinking a lot of water but that doesn’t just make you pass the fuck out?” 

“Ok you don’t need to curse.” Tyler mumbles and she gives him a incredulous look. 

“Look. I’m fine Tyler, totally ok. You don’t have to worry, I don’t need an IV alright? I’ll make myself something to eat and we can watch a movie or something.” She says, looking tired and worn. Tyler doesn’t want her to look so defeated. 

“I’ll make you something. You shouldn’t be up and around.” He argues. 

“Tyler I want to make my own food, I’m not a baby.” 

“You aren’t, youre mine and I want to do it for you.” 

She blushes at that, a deep red while immediately looking down and Tyler is somewhat satisfied because she hasn’t done that in a while. 

“I...just let me? Please?” She mutters, playing with her rings and Tyler sighs. 

“I really don’t think you should-“ 

“-But I do.” She looks back up, pink still tinting her cheeks and Tyler doesn’t want her to be upset with him. 

“Ok, fine.” He peels the tape off the IV needle and pulls it out, Anna swaying at the sight. 

“I know you don’t like needles, it’s ok though it was tiny.” 

“It was fine.” She says, wiping her eyes and acting as if she didn’t just have a total mental breakdown about it.  

“Whatever you say.” He tuts. 

“You know, I’m waiting for the day you ask if I love you?” 

Tyler gets off the bed, rasing an eyebrow, “haven’t I already asked that before?” 

“Not sure,” she mumbles. “But it’d be nice to hear it again.”

“Well...do you love me?” 

“Of course I do stupid.” She rolls her eyes and he laughs, helping her walk to the main room even though she flips him off. 

While Anna is in the kitchen, Tyler retreats to the couch where he can still watch her, and read the news on his phone. There’s clangs and cabinets closing and a number of other noises he can easily pick up until he hears the gas turn on and water running. 

He watches her as she mixes something in a bowl, probably eggs again, while feeling her head with a scowl. 

They haven’t been food shopping in a few days, he makes a mental note to go to the grocery store in the next few days. Maybe she’s been feeling sick because they haven’t been eating the best. 

The steady rush of water comes to a halt and a few seconds later there’s a loud thud. Tyler jumps at the sound and quickly scrambles to his feet when he sees she’s no longer standing up. 

“Anna?!” Tyler runs to the kitchen and behind the island where she lays crumpled against the wood. 

“What is wrong with you?” He asks the air and picks her up, rushing to the couch where he puts her and calls Sarah. 

She picks up on the fourth ring. 

“Hi Tyler-“

“-I need your help.” He stumbles out a sentence, kneeling next to Anna who’s gone paler then before and five times more tired looking.

Now she just looks dead.

“Why? What’s wrong Tyler?”

“It’s Anna. She...she keeps fainting and I don’t know what’s wrong with her I...I-“

“Tyler calm down calm down.” Sarah consoles “did you call an ambulance?” 

“I need an ambulance?” 

“Well yes. How many times has she fainted today?” 

“Twice?” 

Then yes I’d call an ambulance.” Sarah breathes and Tyler hangs up, immediately dialing the number and giving the operator his address after saying what happened. He calls Sarah back seconds later, half expecting her to be angry and if suprised when she picks up so soon and so calm. 

“They’re going to bring her here so I’ll meet you two up front ok? I’ll tell you what we are going to do from there.” 

“Ok.” Tyler whispers, shaking slightly because this happened out of fucking no where and he has no idea what to do about it. 

Just as he’s starting to have a panic attack there’s knocks at his door and he scrambles to unlock it so the paramedics can come in.

 

four minutes later he’s in the back of an ambulance. 

They have her hooked up to a machine that’s counting her heart rate. 

They are muttering to themselves as she lays there breathing fine and paling ever so slightly whiter. 

“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” Tyler asks helplessly, looking up at the two men that seem so entranced by the girl in front of them. 

The shorter speaks up: “she’s dehydrated  mostly, and there’s something else we can’t quite pick up.”  

“What do you mean?” Tyler spits. He’s a nurse, HE should know what’s wrong with her, he shouldn’t need an ambulance, or help, or any of this bullshit. 

He buries his head in his hands and tries to drown out the sound of the sirens. 

He tries to drown. 

 

 


	33. Saturday

Anna wakes up alone in a hospital room, an IV in her arm and a throbbing in her head. She whips around for Tyler and he isn’t there, it’s an empty room that looks so so familiar to one she’s already seen before. 

The amount of deja vu shes experiencing is enough to make her want to smash her brains out. 

Wheres Tyler 

Wheres Tyler 

Wheres Tyler. 

This is all too real, this is just how it was and this is terrifying. 

She looks down, half expecting to see old bruises littering her body but she doesnt-

but wait. 

She does. 

There are bruises on her legs, multiple when she lifts the sheets and spots on her wrist. She scrambles for a mirror but she can’t find one, resorting to tapping her face carefully to feel for tough skin and pain. 

She feels it. 

She’s covered in bruises and back in a the room, Tyler nowhere to be seen. 

Shes gone back in time. 

And Grant’s going to get her. 

In the time it takes to snap Anna’s sitting boltright, breathing heavily and looking around the room nothing less than terrified, shes hyperventilating and no one is here to help, only the needle in her arm that’s supposed to be helping her but all it does is prick her skin and remind her it’s the only thing keeping her alive. 

A scream bubbles out of her throat, it’s weak and choked off and no less then two minutes later Tyler’s sprinting into the room in the same shirt he was wearing when he had taken her home. 

“Hey hey hey! Calm down it’s ok!” He shuts the door behind him and rushes to her side, holding her hand and crouching beside her. 

“I...bruised...it h-hurts Ty I-“ pitiful tears roll down her cheeks and she drowns a surfacing sob. 

“It’s ok Anna you’re fine, everything is just fine.” 

“It’s not! I-I’m back and G-Grant is going to come and-“ 

“woah woah woah....shhhhh.” Tyler coos, gently pushing her back down into a laying position. “What about him.” 

“He’s gonna come back because I have all the b-bruises again and-“ 

“-Theyre from falling, nothing more. You’re ok sweetheart I promise.” 

His eyes are so deep, so brown so muddy and inky and just deep enough for her to drown in him.  

“W-what?” 

“It’s January 6th, it’s a Saturday Anna and he’s been gone for a long time.” He assures her, still holding her hand and wiping her forehead with the other.

”Are...are you sure?” She stares up at him and finds the freckle under his eye and he laughs softly. 

“One hundred percent.” He squeezes her hand and she sighs, flopping back and breathing slow and heavy. 

“They said you’re gonna be ok, that you were malnourished. But I don’t understand how.” He sighs, and he looks so sad she feels a pang in her chest. 

She hadnt eating.

Thats all there is to it. 

She wasnt eating and now she’s fainted too many times and Tyler had to take her to the hospital only because she was too stupid and didn’t put food in her mouth. 

But it’s not her fault. 

She couldn’t eat. It wasn’t appetizing, the depression. It gave her too much on her plate anyway she didn’t need anymore. And she did a good job of keeping it from him too, like the way she wears thick socks so he can’t hear her creep out to the balcony at night. 

She needs the air. 

Mane needs to know she’s free. 

She cant stay here like a caged bird. 

A caged bird cannot take flight. 

And she cannot fly when she’s held down by cords. When she’s held down by these sinking memories that have always held her back. 

“Tyler I don’t want to be here anymore.” She whispers into his shirt, leaning back to look in his eyes. 

“I’ll take you home.” 

“I want to go home.” 

A flicker of something like fear flashes across Tyler’s face “our home?” 

“Is there any other?” She responds and he cracks a smile, tears beginning to form and she can’t remember the last time he’s cried. 

“I suppose not.” 

“Then can you please for the love of god take this off?” She scratches at the IV and Tyler chuckles, peeling it off which had become such a strange normality that almost shocked Anna sometimes. 

Tyler pages someone on the device in his pocket and helps Anna up and out of bed, holding her hand in the hallway and making quick glances the whole way through. 

“I’m sorry I-“ 

“-don’t be sorry.” Tyler mumbles “don’t be sorry Anna.” 

“But I-“

”-listen to me.” Tyler stops and makes her look at him. “You never have to apologize for anything you do, ever. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and if you apologize for that I’ll never accept it. These past few months have been the scariest months of my life in the best way possible. You are the scariest thing I’ve ever had and it’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I love you so much you’ll never understand, I don’t think I will either but I do know that you don’t apologize for love, and I won’t listen to you say anything other than just that.” He finishes, tears streaming down his face and she breathes in a shaky breath, sobbing on the exhale. 

“What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t deserve you.” She chokes out, eyes glassy and she really can’t fathom his love for her in any way. 

“You don’t see it.” He says quietly. “If you did you’d know, but you can’t so I’ll remind you. The most beautiful thing is you, it’ll never stop being you and you deserve to know that.” And with that he takes her jaw in his palm and brings it to his face with a deep, passionate kiss, one that makes her arms curl around his shoulders and press her body as close to his as it’ll allow. 

She makes a noise and pulls back. “Do you remember that night when I said I didn’t ask for you?” 

Tyler nods, remembering how he had shut the door and cried in the hallway, so  desperate for help and her cooperation. 

“I was being honest. I didn’t ask for you, and I know that because I would’ve never been able to come up with someone as fucking incredible as you are Tyler Joseph, you’re the love of my life and I don’t think I can live without you here.” 

The time has come for both of them to cry, both had tears rolling down their cheeks in the hospital hallway, the faint smell of bleach and 4o9 not even a possible way to disrupt the way that they were just now. 

It was just another day when Tyler walked into work at 8:30pm, ready for the restless night ahead.

It was just another day when he clocked in at 8:30. 

It was just another day when an ambulance rolled up, and people rushed in with a gurney. 

It was just another day that would start the beginning of his life, and Tyler had no idea what was in store for him. 

And that was her. 

Just how lucky Tyler was on that Monday morning at 8:30.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *bows*


	34. Chapter 34

Hey. So um, this is over I guess. It really was a journey, and I'm happy to say I'm alot better than I was when it started so thank you all for that. I love you all!

go check out my other fics! theres something for everyone :)

 

The Impossible is possible, believe in me as I've believed in you. 


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